Today's Mental Health Day... Orange Cat Scully, Firefighter

 

"It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, 

and to make your happiness a priority.

 It's necessary."

~Mandy Hale

Yes, I took a day off yesterday from the stupid. There has been so much stupidity that I really can't believe what I am seeing, hearing and generally living through. But here I am, back with a visit to the Purrallel Universe, to take a break from every single thing grown up  and remind myself that life actually can make sense, if done right. I did the same thing earlier in the week, when Alan and I chose the original, Minions Movie, as my choice for that evening's movie! If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it! But for now, let's see how things go for, Orange Cat Scully, as he learns to be a volunteer firefighter! Be sure to subscribe to them and if you can, drop them a tip, to support all the good folks behind this wonderful account!

And now a little music.

Jackson Browne and Clarence Clemons

"You're A Friend Of Mine"

I miss you, my brother-in-law.

Could It Be, Satan? Nah, It's Just AI Tyler

 

AI should be judged not by what it replaces, but by the new human capabilities it enables."

~Tom Golway

Amplifying Human Experience Enabling Gain-Of-Function via AI

As I have mentioned before, my new phone is a lot of fun, and it is actually inspiring me to do more with my photographs, even if it's with some of my older photos! Yesterday, I was pretty much in bed all day with a migraine, and photography was not an option, but by the evening I was feeling better, so I did a few new photos of Tyler, and played around with converting some July 4th photos into AI beauties. AI photoshopping will never replace taking and editing my own digital photos, but it's kinda nice to see my photos in a new light. And that cute image above is definitely an accurate depiction of my beautiful pink eared cat, my gorgeous sweet Tyler! I am not sure how I feel about AI in general, I mean I know it will do some damage, and these data centers certainly border on evil. I just know that those centers were born of a musing of Satan, but playing with AI for fun, or to find information quickly is a good thing, I think. I love my cats, and imagining them in a new light is one way I try to help myself out of this depression I have been feeling. And it was fun to ask Alexa the other day, if Simon can have Brussels sprouts. He loves them so much. So, in that respect, thank you AI, now behave yourself!

And The Mighty Simon

She's A Rainbow

"Life throws challenges, 

and every challenge comes with rainbows,

 and lights to conquer it."

~Amit Ray

World Peace: The Voice Of A Mountain Bird

The rainbow is from early this month, and it sure was fun to photograph. It had been a stormy day, and I was out in nature, trying to find some beauty. I didn't have much luck with the birds that day, and I was getting rained on, so we decided to head back home. While we were driving down HWY 5, the rainbow appeared across the highway. We pulled into In-N-Out Burger, to grab dinner, and that gave me time to snap a few photos of it. That's a pretty good time with nature I think. It's hard to feel down in the dumps when a rainbow crosses your path!

The Rolling Stones

She's A Rainbow

Ellipsis Movie Of The Week... Into The Night

 

Diana: If he's still with you, you better let him go... if you ever want to see those stones alive...

 ( corrects herself ) 

... again

( corrects herself yet again )

... ever!

~Diana

Played by, Michelle Pfeiffer

Into The Night

Ed, has insomnia. He is depressed. His wife is cheating on him. He's screwing up at work. Probably because he has insomnia, due to his depression and his wife cheating on him. Or any combination of the three dynamics, but one night everything changes, and it all gets worse! Or maybe better. You see the sudden encounter with a stranger named, Diana, rocks Ed's life. Is she just what Ed needed? Or is she the worse thing that could have happened to him. You get the drift... Ed leads a dull life... but life can change on a dime, with twists and turns you never see coming, and suddenly life isn't a boring and depressing routine! With a great cast and an amazing, title song by, B.B. King, Into The Night, is a fun little mystery that will keep you guessing, what can possibly happen next?

The Dead Lights

Tyler, watching the lights from the emergency service vehicles

April 17th, 2026

This post has been updated. See the article below.

"One gun has more power to take a life, than a hundred surgeons have to preserve it."

~Abhijit Naskar 

The Centurion Sermon: Mental Por El Mundo

Friday night in Stockton, California.

Yes, that beautiful glow that my cat, Tyler, is looking at, is indeed a whole neighborhood of police, fire and who knows what else, dealing with yet another shooting, at the same corner that it happened two times previously. Basically, those lights are right under my window. The first time was on September 9th, 2025, when a young man was shot dead, by police, while fleeing from them. He had several illegal weapons in the car with him, and he ran, and two officers opened fire on him. He was 19. Here is the bodycam footage, released by the Stockton Police Department, in October of 2025.   

WARNING: IT'S DISTURBING TO WATCH!

The next incident happened Thanksgiving weekend, when, several persons were killed, 2 under 21, and 2 under 10 years old, plus it left 13 others injured. It was a child's birthday party. All the children there, are now victims of gun violence. They were either injured, or they witnessed a murder. It was more than a tragedy. It was vile, and monstrous and deeply sad. It left me depressed for weeks. Later that evening, five suspects were arrested in the same place, as tonight's drama, and the night Rocco Robinson was shot, and, like I said, basically under my bedroom window. Recently, on April 2nd, there was an update about the birthday party murders, but I haven't heard anything about it since.

And then there was last night. I don't know anything about tonight's events. I will update when I can. Or maybe I won't. Honestly, I am a little depressed. We hear all kinds of sirens in this neighborhood, but just about a week ago, one night in the middle of the night we heard several shots, and it seemed they were nearby. The next night we heard loud machine gun fire, and it was definitely nearby. I was scared to death. I had just got my nerves under control, and now there are nine police cars, crime scene tape, and I expect the coroner will be here soon. 

Honestly, I am so tired. The most comforting feeling in the world is my cats sleeping on the bed with us. Morning kisses are the best. But not if doing so might put them in harms way! One day, someone is going to shoot a gun, and the bullet is going to hit something unintended. I hope it won't be us!

Read The CBS Article Here.

  

My prayers are with the family and friends of this young man.

Bird House Days

 

"An hour in nature, prevents a year in the hospital."

~Abhijit Naskar, 

Yarasistan: My Wounds, My Crown

Hubby and I got in the car, pointed it toward the Cosumnes River Preserve wetlands walk, and took a long walk around, just looking at all the birds in the tress and birdhouses, and it was glorious! Just a couple hours of listening to the sound of about 40 different birds, or so, was enough to make my achy body feel better. I unclenched my fists, and concentrated on different angles with my camera, and depth of field shots. This one is not perfect, by any stretch, it just made me happy to try to feel better. Little forward steps. But boy oh boy is that first step forward a difficult one. Depression sucks, but I know with some effort I can move past it toward light and hope. Like with this photograph, I will get perfect this shot as the year moves on, and that's a good thing to look forward to, but if I don't strive for the perfect shot, this scene with remain forever in mediocrity. Who wants that?

A New Bird

 

"We are nature. We are nature seeing nature. The Red-winged Blackbird flies in us."

~Susan Griffin

It felt good to get out the other day and do a little photography, unfortunately this is the only good photo I got, but I will have more opportunities coming up, so this won't be my last photo this year.

Don't you just love the beauty of the Red-winged Blackbird? And they have a lovely song too!

When All Else Fails...

 

"We have now left Reason and Sanity junction. Next stop Looneyville."

~Jim Butcher

Grave Peril

Sometimes all you can do is laugh.

The Autumn Of Murder?

 

"Oh no. It costs a lot more than your life. To murder innocent people?"

 Peeta says, "It costs everything you are."

~Suzanne Collins

Mockingjay

Most of the time, autumn is a season of magic for me. The light of the beautiful sun, especially in October, the keen mixture of the weather, the first night that an extra blanket on the bed is required. Horror movies, holidays, spooky shadows, and little monsters, witches, princesses and super heroes on October 31st. We just put up our holiday tree yesterday. Christmas is mostly an autumn holiday. Christmas eve is only a few days into winter, but the shopping, the cookie making, the planning all takes place in autumn. Good stuff... right? So why is the grim reaper making such an overwhelming ass of himself? There has been so much death all around me. My favorite neighborhood duck, Kenny was run over by a careless driver, devastating the neighborhood. That young man killed on Pixie, for making horrific decisions. The murders last Saturday, at a child's birthday party, and now this... a father murders his 11 year old son, while the child's mother watches all of it on her home surveillance cameras. 

You can read the full story here... KCRA

Sigh.

I have done my best to ignore, to push away the feelings happening inside me, but sometimes those feelings pound me with depression. There are several units of law enforcement in the area right now, and if you can believe it, they still haven't caught the shooter from Saturday night! So that guy is still who knows where? Another child is in the morgue, and his 6 year old sister who watched her dad murder her brother, will feel that pain forever! How much more can happen? I miss my duck. I miss looking for him and his wife, Jenny, every time we come home through the park along the canal. I miss feeling like I can take a photo in the open, without wondering if I will get shot by a paranoid criminal. Autumn is a kind and gentle season full of spirit and magic, but winter has the most painful bites. Why is autumn allowing winter to insinuate itself into autumn's life, and bring with it, such cruelty? 

Autumn Rice

 

“Today I felt the first brush of autumn as in these waning days of summer it gently leaned over an expectant horizon. And it is in having lived summer to the fullest that autumn is positioned to fill me to the fullest. And I think that if we would engage all of the differing seasons of our lives in a manner such as this, the appreciation of ‘what was’ would be magnified a hundredfold by the anticipation of ‘what is yet to be.” 

~Craig D. Lounsbrough  

 

I am trying to stay focused and see the beauty of autumn, like this wonderful, Great Blue Heron standing in a rice field, but world events make it very difficult fully step out of the muck sometimes. The harvest time in the San Joaquin valley can be a feast for the eyes! The tomatoes, the corn, the rice fields that help the ecosystem, the grapes ripening in rows at the vineyards along the back roads, and, yes, the arrival of every kind of bird you can think of! But always haunting me in the background is what scary, boneheaded move Trump will do next! It affects my photography. Stupid, right? And the thing is, I don't know why I just can't put it away? Monsters I suppose, we are in October after all. He has quite the zombie posse around him now, doesn't he?

 

Oh well, maybe I should take it slow. Wake up everyday knowing something might be upsetting and take some deep cleansing breaths. Cookie breathing. Read, The Complete Idiots Guide How To Getting Along With Difficult People. I bought that book years ago, but I think I need a refresher course, although I don't know if it will work against what amounts to an inanimate object! But on the plus side, I get up every day, that's better than I did during his first time in office. I have trips planned in October, to see new things. I am planning a trip to Sacramento, to tour the capitol. There is a lot of history that I have never seen. The Gold Rush ghost towns are waiting to be photographed, as are the autumn leaves in the western Sierra.

 

But tomorrow, when the alarm goes off, I will get up and try again. That's the season of things.

 

I'm Tired

 “How many have to die before we will give up these dangerous toys?”
― Stephen King,  

Guns

 

 

Usually I don't begin quoting Stephen King until the first day of autumn, but after last nights events (see my previous post) and the apparent assassination of right-wing influencer and CEO of Turning Point USA, Charlie Kirk, I turn to horror to find my center. The lights you see, shining through my bedroom window, are the lights from the various police, fire trucks, D.A. vehicles, and ambulances. They light shined through my window until 5:00 a.m. this morning. You see, there was an officer involved shooting across the street from where I live, basically right under my window. It's overwhelmingly stressful. (Update)

 

I couldn't stand Charlie Kirk, I believed he was verbally dangerous, and was dangerous politically motivated but I would have never wished this for him. I will not be celebrating his death. As someone said today, we must try to reach deep down in our souls and find our better angels. 

 

(Feeling Quiet)

 

About 18 months ago I witnessed a man shooting a gun, at his wife, in the back alleyway of the condos where we live. He shot toward her second floor condo, while we were driving next to him toward our parking spot. It was terrifying, and it stayed with me for months. I wrote about it here. Eventually I let go of that incident, but I hear gunshots in my neighborhood regularly. Mostly I close my eyes, and try to meditate it away. Mostly. But sometimes I hold in my fear, because what can I do about my situation? Well, we are considering moving, our condo has gained just enough equity to cover a down payment on a new place, and moving costs, but we can't move right this minute. I want more savings toward the move, so we don't go broke by starting over. 

 

Life is hard. Charlie Kirk dying at 31 is horrific. A young father of two, and husband to his wife, Erica, with a full life ahead of him. We must address guns, but we won't, and nothing ever change. We must address political apeshittery, but we won't. We must stop thinking of each other as the enemy, we won't. But sadly, nothing ever changes. 

 

Shortly after the events of 9/11, American's came together. Then we drifted apart.

 

Tomorrow is the 24th anniversary of that horrific event.  

 

(Sigh)

 

I'm tired. 

 

“Time seemed frozen, the applause went on and on even though heads were turning, necks were craning; someone had screamed because there was a man in the gallery and the man was holding a rifle and this was something they had all seen on TV, it was a situation with classic elements that they all recognized. In it's own way, it was as American as The Wonderful World of Disney. The politician and the man in a high place with the gun.”

 
~Stephen King,

  The Dead Zone

 

 Here is a booklet from the Department Of Homeland Security on how to keep yourself safe, should you find yourself in an active shooter situation. It's worth downloading.

 

 Active Shooter and How To Respond ( DHS ) 

Slip Knots

 

"It didn't matter that the scarves weren't even all that special or great or that I was making far too man to actually keep and had no idea what I was going to do with them. I didn't ever think that far. I thought only about the fact that for the moment I was working on something. I was creating something."

 

~Kathryn Vercillo

Crochet Saved My Life 

I have a new hobby, and I will say, straight up, I HATE SLIP KNOT'S GUTS! It took me forever to learn that simple starting point, but okay, I finally got it. Sheesh! Now I am on my way with my project, and I am using the lovely yarn color, Sunset, a variegated yarn, by Yarnspiritions. It reminds me of autumn. It has all the colors of a warm autumn sunset. I learned the first basic step today, making a chevron chain. Tomorrow I will learn to crochet back in the opposite direction of what I began. So, what am I making? Who the HELL knows. All I know is that I needed a new creative outlet, and I have always wanted to learn how to crochet, so it was a good fit. There is too much happening, and my nerves are absolutely frayed. I hate being on edge all the time. Trump has only been in office 4 months and I swear it seems like 4 years! Not to mention the goings on my real life. No misunderstand me, it's not all that bad. I can always turn off the TV, turn on a playlist, and start dancing, but there is always the threats of things we can't control. Shrug. Maybe the crocheting will give me the clear focus I need. Hope comes in many forms.

 

As of today he has been in office 93 days. 😟

 

NOTE: By the way, the colorful yarn you see above is not the yarn I mentioned in this post. That yarn is called, Hokey Pokey. Isn't cute?

 

 

 

 

California Quail

 

“Birds are the eyes of Heaven.” 

 
~Suzy Kassem

  Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

 

In case you didn't notice, I took a few days off to... well... get ready for the trial of Donald Trump. Yesterday, we paid a visit to Bodega Bay and, of course, did some birding and it sure did pay off! I found this gorgeous California Quail, a bird I look forward to every spring, and I also found about 5 additional birds! One of them, a completely new bird that I had never seen before. The Red-necked grebe. I will post his pic later this week. Right now the day belongs to this quail. He was a treat. He sat on that branch, with the beautiful blue water behind him, and sang his little song, and in those moments everything was just about perfect! By the way, I've used that quote before, because my gosh, it nails it!

 

 

Happy Easter 2024

 

Easter is…
Joining in a birdsong,
Eying an early sunrise,
Smelling yellow daffodils,
Unbolting windows and doors,
Skipping through meadows,
Cuddling newborns,
Hoping, believing,
Reviving spent life,
Inhaling fresh air,
Sprinkling seeds along furrows,
Tracking in the mud.
Easter is the soul’s first taste of spring.

~Richelle E. Goodrich

 

  Making Wishes: Quotes, Thoughts, & a Little Poetry for Every Day of the Year

 

I am a person of faith, and I don't speak about it much here because my faith is too personal to expose it to the ugliness of social media, but all the blessings you see listed above, and more, is because of God, and his son Jesus Christ. If you aren't a person of faith, I stand by you, I will not try to change you or your values in any way, you have my respect in your values, but on this one day, allow me to share the part of me that I keep to myself. My faith. Believe me, I have felt God's love and empathy in this past year, as I have navigated the death of my sister, niece and nephew. It helped me get back up from my depression and I am beginning to move on. I think about them every day, but the lingering sadness isn't lingering as much anymore. I hate this last part of letting go, because then they will really be gone, but there is a strength in all this, and it has come through really hard work, and God being there every step of the way!

 

 And by the way, Joe Biden is right...

“There will come a day, I promise you, when the thought of your son, or daughter, or your wife or your husband, brings a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye. It will happen. My prayer for you is that day will come sooner than later.”

~Joe Biden

 

Happy Easter to you and your family.

I hope your day is filled with love, warmth,

 and every blessing and kindness too.

 Never forget the strength of kindness.

Don't forget to be kind to yourself.

 

Less Trump, More Cowbell

 

 

 

“That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end.” 

~Elizabeth Wurtzel

  Prozac Nation

 

Bruceville Road and The Cosumnes Wetlands.

 

Spring Bloom 2024

Okay, it's time for more cowbell! "I gotta have more cowbell!" Just kidding, but I need more humor, because Trump is beginning to live rent free in my head again, and it has to stop! I know how I am voting in the fall and I can't stop the decisions of others or should I say, the cult. Joe Biden has done more for me in the last 6 months, then Donald Trump did in the four years he served! In fact Trump's record just on Covid alone was devastating, but folks have short memories, and his cultists look with glee, on the man who did so much for them. Like causing the deaths of at least 17,000 folks during the pandemic. By contrast, because of Biden's current infrastructure bill, this beautiful spot on Bruceville road will continue to thrive. The adjacent wetlands will continue to attract the birds next autumn when the Pacific Flyway opens again. And I will see my Greater White-fronted Geese, and the Snow Geese. The Black-backed Stilt and the beautiful Sandhill Crane once again. The Earth needs this balance. So do I. So, for the next week, no matter how negative Trump goes, I will not respond to it. Call it political training. I ate a chocolate cake again the other day, I cannot do that again! He lived daily in my mind when he was in office, but right now we have criminal Trump, not President Trump, so I need to enjoy that fact for as long as we have it. Less negativity, more cowbell. I need to focus on the extreme likelihood that he will lose the 2024 election, and he will face jail time in 2025. As it should be, let it be.

 Poppies In Bloom

Snow Goose

Ladies and gentlemen... Blue Oyster Cult.

 

 

Working My Way Through It

 

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are

 deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” 

~Laurell K. Hamilton,

  Mistral's Kiss

 

I am just going to jump right in here... I am moving along with my grieving just fine. I think I have experienced all 5 stages of grief. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally, Acceptance. My niece, my nephew and my sister died last year, as did a very nice man, Treat Williams, who I considered a Twitter friend. He was a man who cared deeply about the well being of others, and that is extremely rare in the times we are living in. It all happened last year, but well under a year ago, so while I have dealt and moved on with four of the five stages, I am still dealing with one, the sadness or depression, or whatever label you want to assign to it. I still have sudden thoughts, or memories of those I lost, including Treat. I miss them all. I miss Treat for his compassion and ability to see the glass half-full and my family for a lot of complicated reasons, but mostly the good times we shared.

 

 I have been spending a lot more time by myself, watching old movies, reading, and I like some computer games. The meeting at the democratic club in Lodi went very well, in fact we plan on becoming members, so I think that was a healthy move, more on that later. Like I said, life is moving on, but the depression remains. But I am not completely lost. I have my photography and I have my birds. Some of my beautiful beautiful Sandhill crane remain along Woodbridge road, and they are great for erasing sadness from my heart and mind. I am going to need my photography more than ever as we move throughout this year because of the upcoming election. Trump will only get more and more irritating, scary and embarrassing as we move closer to November. I am truly going to need my birds and my photography, just to keep my sanity.

 

My photography is beginning to reflect my moods, although I guess it always did to a degree. Anyway, I hope to heal in a steady manner, but one thing you cannot do, when it comes to depression, is will it to go away. You have to try your best to not let it consume you, and you have to remind yourself of what you are grateful for. Embrace what you love and don't let go. When the Sandhill crane finally move on, I will search out the Bonaparte's gull or the Caspian tern, and look forward to the crane's return next September. I will be on Woodbridge road, around the 15th of September, with a packed lunch, a pair of binoculars and my ears listening for the sound of a quaint old rocking chair, creaking across the sky. You can hear it from a mile away!

 

Donald Trump? Donald Trump who? 

 

 “That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight.

 But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end.” 

~Elizabeth Wurtzel

  Prozac Nation

 

My nephew committed suicide last July. Please, if you are contemplating ending your life, or even if you are not thinking about suicide but are depressed, there are resources available. Please contact the National Suicide And Crisis Helpline. Call or Text 988 to reach someone 24/7. Please reach out.

 

Drab And Empty

 

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” 

~Stephen King

  Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption

 

No, I haven't forgotten to post some trivial dribble about my life, I have simply been busy with painting the awesome room, a winter storm and a lack of inspiration. Call it the winter doldrums. Call it depression. So, anyway, I have decided to take a short break from posting. No worries, just till next Monday, February 12th. I need to finish the painting, and get out with the camera and find the photos... the horror, the beauty, the mundane, the glamorous, the spooky or whatever appears before me. It's all waiting, I just need to find it.