The Autumn Of Murder?

 

"Oh no. It costs a lot more than your life. To murder innocent people?"

 Peeta says, "It costs everything you are."

~Suzanne Collins

Mockingjay

Most of the time, autumn is a season of magic for me. The light of the beautiful sun, especially in October, the keen mixture of the weather, the first night that an extra blanket on the bed is required. Horror movies, holidays, spooky shadows, and little monsters, witches, princesses and super heroes on October 31st. We just put up our holiday tree yesterday. Christmas is mostly an autumn holiday. Christmas eve is only a few days into winter, but the shopping, the cookie making, the planning all takes place in autumn. Good stuff... right? So why is the grim reaper making such an overwhelming ass of himself? There has been so much death all around me. My favorite neighborhood duck, Kenny was run over by a careless driver, devastating the neighborhood. That young man killed on Pixie, for making horrific decisions. The murders last Saturday, at a child's birthday party, and now this... a father murders his 11 year old son, while the child's mother watches all of it on her home surveillance cameras. 

You can read the full story here... KCRA

Sigh.

I have done my best to ignore, to push away the feelings happening inside me, but sometimes those feelings pound me with depression. There are several units of law enforcement in the area right now, and if you can believe it, they still haven't caught the shooter from Saturday night! So that guy is still who knows where? Another child is in the morgue, and his 6 year old sister who watched her dad murder her brother, will feel that pain forever! How much more can happen? I miss my duck. I miss looking for him and his wife, Jenny, every time we come home through the park along the canal. I miss feeling like I can take a photo in the open, without wondering if I will get shot by a paranoid criminal. Autumn is a kind and gentle season full of spirit and magic, but winter has the most painful bites. Why is autumn allowing winter to insinuate itself into autumn's life, and bring with it, such cruelty? 

The Wind Takes Everything

 

"In the end, the wind takes everything, doesn't it? And why not? Why other? If the sweetness of our lives did not depart, there would be no sweetness at all."

 

~Stephen King

The Wind Through The Keyhole

 

So much good happened yesterday. An uneventful Electoral College count, with the exception of a rude man attempting to intimidate Stephen King regarding the win of Joe Biden. The rollout of the first Covid-19 vaccine injections and the supply shipment, and at the end of the day, the resignation of Attorney General Bill Barr. Democracy won, and it is the beginning of the end of the monster that has haunted us for the better part of a year. A monster so terrifying, it makes Donald Trump seem like an old and dear friend that you would, and could, trust your last dime to. The monster of Covid-19. As good as yesterday was, along with the sweet came the bitter... we crossed over 300,000 dead in America. Much of it driven by lies, misinformation, and folks unable to give up the urge to gather, despite the Grim Reaper walking past us.

 

According to the Los Angeles Times, the county I live in, San Joaquin, continues to suffer under some of the worst statistics in this state, if not the country, as we have reached zero ICU beds available as of this past weekend, and perhaps as low as minus 30% ICU bed availability by this coming weekend, which is the weekend before Christmas. Sad times. I feel it when I hear about it, or do any research into it, but it's cold outside now, the wind is blowing cold ominous winds across the farm country, and storms are building, which makes it all worse. It's natural for days to grow dark, it's expected this time of year, but this is different, and I don't even have the laughter of leaves to console me. They have fallen, and they, for perhaps the first time since I began my autumn leaf project, are  reminding me of the seasons of my life, and what it means to die. Will I see another autumn on this earth? Or am I an autumn leaf of 2020? Am I the last leaf of the year, unaware that the next cold breath of the wind, will serve as my natural enemy when death comes claiming?

 

 

~Carly

Stockton, California

December 15th 2020