Bird On A Wire

 

 

 "I would like to paint the way a bird sings."

~Claude Monet

 

 

 

"The early bird gets the worm,

 but the late bird doesn't even get the late worms."

~Charles Schulz

 

Usually I just post one quote, but hey I today I found two that fit perfectly, so why not share both? Cutting to the chase, I need to improve my photography. So, I am going to look into some online courses in digital photography, so I can get more out of my photo jaunts. I hope by the end of the year, I have photographs so good, that I won't have to make any adjustments. I am going to start tonight, by lighting a candle for the first time ever. Yep, my adventure in growth for February, will be facing my fear of fire! I know I can do it, I have faced other fears before, however this will be a big one to conquer, but aren't all fears?

 

 And besides, I promised a mere 12 months of new opportunities to myself, and that seems appropriate so there should be no whining about how hard it will be to do. One should always keep the promises we make to ourselves. They weren't New year's resolutions or anything, more like a continuations of the new experiences I began doing last summer. I think it came on the heals of so much personal loss. It jarred me. Life is beginning to pass me by, so I want to experience new things, and create a lot of new memories because those loses drove home the point, with deep clarity, that life is nothing, if not short.

January... Attended a political meeting, containing real humans.

Done. 

Result... I had a positive experience.

 

Why did I choose the title of a Mel Gibson movie for the title of this post? Well, in the movie, Bird On A Wire, Mel Gibson was in the witness relocation program until he was accidentally outed by a former lover, so he had going on the run from bad guys thrust on him, so he was scared but there was no hiding from it, he had go into the open, and face the bad guys to be truly free. In the end, he faced it, and saw a bright future in front of him. You might not be able to tell, but it was actually a very funny film. Goldie Hawn was in it too. Anyhoo, I kind of feel that way about my fears,"...like a bird on a wire."

 

 

 

 The movie takes its name from the Leonard Cohen song whose lyrics include the words ''like a bird on a wire, like a drunk in a midnight choir, I've tried in my way to be free. ''

 

Via New York Times 

 

Wish me luck! I need to try new things, and be free of what holds me back. If I fail, I will have to find a new fear or experience to do, but I really hope to do this one. I will share the result in tomorrow's post! Hopefully there will photos to accompany the attempt! It will nice to work with low lighting!

 

 

Secens From Woodbridge Road

 

 

“Farming is a profession of hope”
~Brian Brett 

 

 

 

 

I love my birds, but there are other beautiful scenes along Woodbridge road. The farm country has some gorgeous views of farms being farms, even just the farm equipment has a charm to it and the summer and autumn harvest's are my favorite time of year to see it all! But during the autumn and winter you can see absolutely breathtaking views of light and shadows, which look great to my photographer's eye, whether in color or black & white. Birds swimming in bodies of water created by the rain, are especially picturesque with the setting sun and the view of Mt. Diablo in the background. After the water recedes, comes the planting and the harvest that grows the plants that encourages the birds to visit the following year. I love that cycle, and now that I live here, I get to watch it renew year after year! 

 

It probably seems silly that all this intrigues me so much, after all that's how nature works, but when you have grown up in the city, as opposed to living where it is farmland all around you, you just get a different feeling of what beauty is. I see the amazing architecture of San Francisco and Berkeley and I never want to leave the city's, sounds and energy that living there generates, but when I spend an entire day, doing nothing more than listening to the sound of geese and ducks flying around, I reach such a zen-like state that I find myself sleeping better. There is an elderly man, in a blue vehicle, that I have seen napping in his car on many afternoons. He has noticed us diving by too, because of how frequently we visit, and we wave when we see each other now, like neighbors who love our neighborhood. We both understand what it feels like to be adjacent to so much beauty.

 

Of course visiting back home does that to me too, but back home is 90 miles away, and that is a long trip. I still visit Berkeley and San Francisco, I get deeply homesick, but it's down to only a couple times a year, as opposed to yearning for a trip every month. Oh well, I don't know, I guess in my old age I need to be in nature more than San Francisco. I sure never thought I would say that! I think of my former life almost daily! I think about the art, and the comedy clubs and restaurants we frequented, and long for it to the point it hurts, but now that spring is almost here, just wait until you see the barn and wildflowers of Desmond road. You'll smile.

 

 

Golden Blossoms, Red Fences

 

“We tried the golden age's of lands, what of all the other soil, water and air, with all that lives in each, who wants a bit of gold too. 

 

 Who knows when does winter ends.”

 

~Unknown

 

That's was a beautiful autumn moment in front to me, but obviously winter and spring are there too. Seasons are magical, as I overstate every autumn. To be honest, I believe it's the magic of autumn that allows me to see it in nature, when I need it the most, and there it was the other day... autumn, winter, and spring all sharing one space. Some folks may not notice the things that make each seasons special, but in that photography keeps you in the moment, I am lucky enough the be able to really see spring blossoms, the Mexican free-tailed bats of summer, the glorious autumn leaves and the shadows of winter. I live in the moment as much as possible.

I love it. 

 

Working My Way Through It

 

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are

 deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” 

~Laurell K. Hamilton,

  Mistral's Kiss

 

I am just going to jump right in here... I am moving along with my grieving just fine. I think I have experienced all 5 stages of grief. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally, Acceptance. My niece, my nephew and my sister died last year, as did a very nice man, Treat Williams, who I considered a Twitter friend. He was a man who cared deeply about the well being of others, and that is extremely rare in the times we are living in. It all happened last year, but well under a year ago, so while I have dealt and moved on with four of the five stages, I am still dealing with one, the sadness or depression, or whatever label you want to assign to it. I still have sudden thoughts, or memories of those I lost, including Treat. I miss them all. I miss Treat for his compassion and ability to see the glass half-full and my family for a lot of complicated reasons, but mostly the good times we shared.

 

 I have been spending a lot more time by myself, watching old movies, reading, and I like some computer games. The meeting at the democratic club in Lodi went very well, in fact we plan on becoming members, so I think that was a healthy move, more on that later. Like I said, life is moving on, but the depression remains. But I am not completely lost. I have my photography and I have my birds. Some of my beautiful beautiful Sandhill crane remain along Woodbridge road, and they are great for erasing sadness from my heart and mind. I am going to need my photography more than ever as we move throughout this year because of the upcoming election. Trump will only get more and more irritating, scary and embarrassing as we move closer to November. I am truly going to need my birds and my photography, just to keep my sanity.

 

My photography is beginning to reflect my moods, although I guess it always did to a degree. Anyway, I hope to heal in a steady manner, but one thing you cannot do, when it comes to depression, is will it to go away. You have to try your best to not let it consume you, and you have to remind yourself of what you are grateful for. Embrace what you love and don't let go. When the Sandhill crane finally move on, I will search out the Bonaparte's gull or the Caspian tern, and look forward to the crane's return next September. I will be on Woodbridge road, around the 15th of September, with a packed lunch, a pair of binoculars and my ears listening for the sound of a quaint old rocking chair, creaking across the sky. You can hear it from a mile away!

 

Donald Trump? Donald Trump who? 

 

 “That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight.

 But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end.” 

~Elizabeth Wurtzel

  Prozac Nation

 

My nephew committed suicide last July. Please, if you are contemplating ending your life, or even if you are not thinking about suicide but are depressed, there are resources available. Please contact the National Suicide And Crisis Helpline. Call or Text 988 to reach someone 24/7. Please reach out.

 

The Con At The Con

 

“Fast. Good. Cheap. Big. Any three and it's exploitation.
All four and it's destroying someone somewhere,
maybe even you.” 

~Shellen Lubin 

 

The conman was selling his cheap, more than likely made in China, sneakers at Sneakercon. He did it to pull his ass out of the fire regarding his multiple lawsuits and criminal charges. Do I have to say how completely full of shit he is to degrade the office of the presidency in this manner. He is making a fucking laughing stock out of all of us, and I wish to GOD that people would wake up to that fact!

The Guardian

Trump launch gold high top sneaker line,

 one day after 350M dollar court ruling.