Past Autumns

 "Keep your face towards the sunshine,

 and the shadows will fall behind you."

~Walt Whitman

One of the things I love most about autumn and winter... shadows. The past few autumns have had that eerie glow from the Northern California wildfires. Hopefully the ones plaguing us this year will be extinguished soon. Unlike the previous years, this year's fires are moving east, toward the Lake Tahoe basin, and so far there aren't any in Napa County. Keeping my fingers crossed that some cooler weather will start soon, that always goes a long way to successfully moving past the most dangerous part of "fire season".

 

~Me

Stockton, California

August 28th 2021

 

Nah

 

"No one can tell what goes on in the between the person you were and the person you become. No one can chart that blue and lonely section of Hell. There are no maps of change.

 You just come out the other side. Or you don't."

 

~Stephen King

The Stand

 

The packing continues, of course, and it's going very well. We have finished packing the garage, and we threw a lot of stuff away. That felt really good, although I plan to throw even more away. once the final sorting takes place. Fortunately, there aren't many boxes and containers that are designated "to be determined". Objects come and go, but of all the treasures I own, books are the most difficult to part with! I know, I know, once they are read, why keep them? Well, it's simple, they are like friends you can contact, any time you need them. I love them. I love how heavy they are. How they look on the right shelf or bookcase. I especially love holding them in my hands, while I am reading in bed! Part with my books? Nah. I simply can't. Sorry... not sorry. I won't throw them away. I won't even donate them. I can't. They are my way out of this world. I love getting lost in them. It's a good feeling to know that after we move, my books will be waiting to be put back in their rightful place, and holding still, until it's time to be taken down and enjoyed on some chilly autumn afternoon to come.

 

~Me

August 27th 2021

Stockton, California

Butterflies, Leaves, Music, Cats, Books, Movies

 

"Another secret of the universe: Sometimes pain was like a storm that came out of nowhere. The clearest summer could end in a downpour. Could end in lightning and thunder."

 

~Benjamin Alire Saenz

Aristotle and Dante Discover The Secrets Of The Universe

 

No, I didn't forget to blog yesterday, I just, frankly, I just didn't care too. We heard from the HOA about heaven on Empress. It wasn't good. Our messed up credit meant, at least to them, that we were basically riff-raff. It seems your life needs to be perfect, in order to put a roof over one's head. I have a rating of 671 - 691. Alan's is a bit lower. Riff-raff I tells ya!!! It didn't matter that our credit was good enough to purchase a home 6 years ago. It didn't matter that I haven't missed a rent or mortgage payment in 31 years. It didn't matter that I haven't missed a single payment of anything in four years. It just didn't matter at all. All that mattered was that we fell off a financial cliff four years ago. Unless something changes soon, when all is said and done, and all goes well with the new buyers, we will clear about $175,000 and be homeless. How fucking ridiculous is that? That was rhetorical, of course, but at the same time, my GOD, I am scared. But, Rosalie reminds us, that was one HOA. All hope is not lost. In fact we are going to see more places in the next few days. Again, I just need to remember what Mark said, "it wasn't meant to be our home"... paraphrased.

 

And until then...

 Butterflies, leaves, music, cats, books, movies and more. 

 

 

~Me

Stockton, California

August 26th 2021

Life Paraphrased Part One

 

"Of all the seasons, autumn offers the most to man

 and requires the least of him."

 

~Hal Borland

 

And so it begins. This pretty leaf is a neighborhood leaf, with just a hint of red, but who knows this could be an orange year. A little hint of red doesn't mean much right now. Also, the Central Valley color is very different from the color in the Bay Area. Weather I guess. I hope to visit my favorite tree in the Bay Area soon, to track the colors there. Before autumn begins anyway. Things are so busy with the move, and now with our first buyer having backed of the deal, I doubt seriously that I will be moved before autumn begins. But as I have said many times, autumn is the great healer, and I believe that, so I am keeping the faith. And who knows, we got an offer yesterday, and Rosalie will let us know about it later today, so that's a good thing. Also, American Horror Story comes back tomorrow night, after being gone two years because of the Covid-19 pandemic, so things are coming together. As my Twitter pal Mark says, things happen for a reason, and in their own time. Paraphrased.

 

~Me

 

By The Way, Happy Anniversary

  

"Why this candle? Why this cake?

 The day of my birth is not today, it was the day you said, 'hey'."

~Kamand Kojouri

 

 

It's August 23rd, and today my blog turns 18 years old. It can now legally vote! And I sure wish it could. I may be "semi-retired" from politics, but it doesn't mean I have given up on things. But that is for a different post. I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating, time flies whether you are having fun or not. A lot has gone on in the last 18 years, but especially since the great Trump administration debacle, and the time of Covid-19. Its been sad the last few years, throw in the Northern California wildfires, that we have come to expect, and I have thought about simply giving up all together. But as soon as the first of August rolls around, there I am, looking for turning leaves and giddy with anticipation of what what amazing beauty will be found as I move through autumn. 

 

 I am grateful to have experienced blogging. The last 18 years have deserved some kind of permanent documentation. My blog was for me, to share the events in my life and marriage, and all things beyond our front door and what it meant to me. If you have been along with we for the ride, all or even most of that time, you know that I am just a person, floating through life. Nothing exciting or special, just life as it happened to me and he. We have had our bits of the extraordinary happen, like being able to purchase our first home. The home we are in now. You will also know how frightened I was of owning a home for the first time, but how I grew into my comfort eventually, and how I grew to love it. Well, things do change don't they?

 

I will love this place forever, but I will love the new place too. I tend to acclimate to my surroundings, which is why I never wanted to live in Tennessee. That was a joke, by the way. Anyway, I can't really picture the place we will land in. It's not clear yet. But we will make it work until time to move on. We lived in our shack in the Berkeley hills for 14 years. A very small. Very unremarkable shack. Then one of those bits of magic happened, and we found out it had been illegal all the time, allowing us to sue for a small amount of cash, that allowed us to purchase the home we are about to sell. It's a cliche, but yes, when one door closes another door opens. Ugh. I hate closed doors.Which is why I will probably be back every year until I go onto my glory, with another anniversary post. So stay tuned, I will always have something to share around August 23 of any given year. And certainly through autumn.

So little blog of my voice... HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. Thank you for all your have done for my frayed nerves and ability to share some creativity. On to Chapter 19, and what happens next.

~Me

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August 23rd 2021