In A World With Octobers

Dippin Dots

Monterey, California

October 14th, 2018

 "I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers."

~L. M. Montgomery

Anne Of Green Gables

I love Dippin Dots... a lot! I have a sweet tooth, so I enjoy almost any flavor of ice cream, but there is just something fun about Dippin Dots that really speaks to the kid in me! I bought these in Monterey last week, after not having been able to find them for well over 20 years! The stores where I used to get them had stopped selling them long ago, so I gave up trying to find them, or anything remotely similar. Then, one day about a month ago or so, I read that there were stores nearby, in Stockton, that we selling them again!

I checked the Dippin Dots website, and sure enough, they were also being sold on Cannery Row, in Monterey, so I decided to wait until our trip, to treat myself to them as part of our special visit to the Monterey peninsula! The Banana Split flavor was always my favorite, so I crossed my fingers that they still had that flavor, and I hoped they would still be as ridiculously delicious as I remembered! Pleasantly, I was very happy to find out they did indeed still have the Banana Split, and that they were even better than I remembered! Our trip to Monterey, turned out to be an absolutely fantastic day, start to finish! So, stay tuned, because I have a lot more from that day to share! I really love October, it's been very good to me, just about my whole life!

Dippin Dot Leaves

Cull Canyon

October 25th, 2018

Dippin Dots Sunset

Golden Gate Bridge

San Francisco, California

October 25th 2018

#37 Leaf Of The Day

October 27th 2018

Pacific Grove, California

~Mood: Happy
~Me

Lasters Of The Twilight

"Home-comer, hitcher, phantom, rider

White lady wants what's been denied her,

Gather grim knows what you fear most,

But keep away from the crossroads ghost.

Talk to the poltergeist, talk to the haunt,

Talk to the routewitch if it's what you want.

Reaper's in the parlor, seizer's in a host

But you'd best keep away from the crossroad's ghost."

~Seanne McGuire

The Girl In The Green Silk Gown

I used to be terrified of cemeteries. I never went to funerals. I didn't even attend my own father's funeral, because my mother insisted on an open casket, but the older I get, and closer to my own deep long sleep I get, I not only don't fear all things death, I can actually see the beauty in the hereafter! I love ghost stories, and I would think I would get the otherworldly chills, while photographing cemeteries, but no, I have never felt that spooky autumn giddiness, of believing a ghost is looking over my shoulder. I have been in the presence of something otherworldly once or twice, in my life, and let me tell you, it left a lasting impression.

 Alan and I have been together, more than once, when we were sure something unseen was nearby, and my friend Judith and I could feel a ghost, or spirit, or something anyway, sitting behind us, while we were on a ride in her car one night! One moment we were talking, and singing with the radio, the next moment we both stopped, turned, and looked over our shoulders into the back seat of the car. Then we looked at each other, and confirmed that we had both felt something felt like it was sitting in the seat behind us, but it was just a feeling, no specter actually appeared, but let me tell you, the feeling was quite frightening, and I never forgot how it felt!

Still, I don't fear that feeling as much as I once did! I would rather not be haunted, because that would mean that someone was perhaps lonely, or unhappy! I want everyone, alive or dead, to be able to have peace in their life, afterlife, soul, and mind! That's the ideal way to maneuver through your existence, right? In whatever plane of existence you happen to be in, one has a right to be happy, or at least content! Right? 

I think I have come to terms with the inevitability of my own death one day. I am okay with it. I don't want the adventure to begin tomorrow mind you, but I am okay with the future of my natural end, and walking about cemeteries while alive only makes it all the more understandable. So, I will continue grabbing my camera, and doing photos of cemeteries, because I have a real interest in the history of those who came before me!

Hey, perhaps one day someone with a camera, will see my monument and think to themselves, she really loved autumn, because if I have my way, my ghost will be caught on camera, leaning next to a really beautiful autumn leaf filled tree, with a plastic candy pumpkin in my withered ghostly hands, as I will be whispering... booooooooooo mutherfucker! Hopefully my orb or some willowy, misty, shape will appear on a national ghost hunting show, wouldn't that be awesome?

 I'd really like that!

So, I think I will continue to haunt cemeteries!

#36 Leaf Of The Day

October 26th, 2018

Cull Canyon, California

Photographed October 25th, 2018

Nikon

~Mood: Quiet

~Me

 

The Colors Of Autumn And Of Love

"Ah, lovely October, as you usher in the season that awakens my soul, your awesome beauty compels my spirit to soar like a leaf caught in an autumn breeze and my heart to sing like a heavenly choir."

~Peggy Toney Horton

I don't know which I love more, an autumn sunrise, or an autumn twilight! Yesterday afternoon was beautiful, but it was an autumn day, so how could I not feel that old familiar love story, especially when I also wake up with Alan? Alan is as much a part of autumn as the falling leaves! We fell in love in autumn. We got married in autumn, and we adopted our fur babies, all in autumn! Every year we take our vacation from the middle of October, to the middle of November! We take little trips all around Northern California and Nevada. We leaf peep. We walk around pumpkin patches. We have picnics. And there is car karaoke. We watch lots of spooky movies in our home theater. There is a lot of laughter, and a lot of enjoying autumn sunrises and sunsets together! 

We were supposed to take some trips this week, but I have been a bit under the weather this week, I had a bad reaction to a new medication, but I am on the mend, and later today, Alan and I are off on another car trip, to seek out beauty of autumn and snuggle under a big autumn tree! October is almost over with, and my heart is sinking, as I think about waiting another 11 months for it to come around again! I am thinking about doing something different this year. I plan on writing my future self a letter, with my predictions for the coming year! From the first day of Winter 2018, to the first day of Autumn, 2019! 

What will the year bring? I am almost afraid to speculate about national and world events. You know that our 'DEAR LEADER" will provide all the negativity he can muster, so there will be an exhausting amount of push back, emotionally speaking, but I will cope by checking maps, and requesting travel brochures from reliably autumn filled small towns we have never had the chance to visit, and do a lot of praying! It will be exhausting, but Autumn will come around again, and October will follow close behind, and before we know it, once again, he and I will be in each other's arms for hours and hours, under a big autumn tree!

My idea of Heaven, is a perfect Autumn day, that ends with a beautiful sunset in all the colors of my favorite season, and a nap in Alan's arms, where I feel safe, and deeply loved!

#35 Leaf Of The Day

October 25th, 2018

Tilden Park

Little Farm

Berkeley, California

Photographed October 11th, 2018

~Mood: In Love

~Me :)

 

Could A Bad Hairstyle Be Considered A Head Wound?

"He felt alone, prey to the tedium, to the dreariness of time, especially at the approach of twilight which, during those late-autumn days, came in through the windows, settling on the furniture with a laden pallor, sending the mirrors into mourning at light's farewell... ."

~Georges Rodenbach

The Bells Of Bruges

I found that address sign in San Francisco, on November 25th, 2016. I though it was amusing because not only was it Black Friday, but it was only a few weeks after the 2016 National Election, and I was pretty sure America had just voted the Anti-Christ into the presidency! LOL. I was NOT in a good mood, and everything seemed more and more dark with each passing day, and Black Friday seemed not just metaphorical, but downright ironic! That's just a little taste of just how sick my sense of humor can be!

 Alan was patient with me, as he wasn't exactly thrilled with Trump being elected either, but he was pretty sure Trump wasn't smart enough to be the Anti-Christ. My argument to his argument was, if Trump was the Anti-Christ, wouldn't he pretend to be dumb, and thereby throw everyone off the scent? After all, the Anti-Christ is described as the liar of all liars, right? So my argument made perfect sense, at least to me! Well, we debated it, and batted it around, and finally agreed to disagree, because if this was truly the last days, what difference would it make, and if it wasn't the last days, again, what difference would it make, so maybe we could just focus on something else a little more pleasant?

He moved on. I didn't. Because since Trump took office, he has only proven how completely evil he really is! Dumb and evil! He and his minions! Because they are so DUMB AND EVIL, things only continue to deteriorate. Vladimir Putin and Russia continue to interfere with our midterm elections. North Korea is laughing at us, and have NOT taken steps to denuclearize. Trump has done his best to push all our allies away. The Stock Market is in trouble. He's desperately trying to start a trade war. More and more long time retail chains are going out of business. BABY PRISON. And to top everything off... there was not just possible complacency in the murder of a Washington Post journalist, but perhaps conspiracy! 

Don't you just love Jared Kushner? 

 So, there you have it! Whoops, turns out there is just one more thing... that devastating Climate Change report from a couple weeks ago, which pretty much says, the Earth will be finished in roughly 20 years if things don't change, oh yes, that minor detail, doesn't that just bring everything together in a nice and tidy basket of Apocalyptic MAGANESS? It's all quite reminiscent of a certain book, what was the name of it again? Oh yes, I remember, REVELATIONS!

But I could be wrong. Maybe it's just the MOST IRRITATING TIME I HAVE SPENT ON EARTH, WITH EACH DAY BRINGING A NEW LOW OF RIDICULOUSNESS!

If this isn't the end times, 

then God really should have written one more book! 

He and I need to talk, 

there are a few things I need him to clear up!

#34 Leaf Of The Day

October 24th, 2018

Photographed October 14th, 2018

Sacramento, California

~Mood: LAUGHING WHILE CRYING WHILE SCREAMING!
~ME   ;)

Art About Town: Sacramento... "Peace" By Stephen Kaltenbach

"Peace" By Stephen Kaltenbach

Sacramento, California

(Concrete)

"What is the name of your dream? A lovely wooden cottage in the middle of a forest? Or walking in an endless autumn path? What is the name of your dream? Don't give a name, always give a list! Fill yourself with dreams because dream is the path to reality!"

~Melmet Murat ildan

What is my dream? My dreams are simple. If you know me at all, you probably know that Heaven for me is an endless autumn, and an endless amount of public art to enjoy and photograph. As much time with Alan as I want. Music I can feel in my soul, but most of all, right now, I dream of days of peace. Peace of mind, body and soul! I haven't slept well since 2015, and the insomnia has been especially bad since 2016. That election took it's toll on me, for many reasons, but mostly Trump becoming president seemed to steal a part of me that I can't find.

 The never ending verbal beatings, and the cruelty of his administration coupled with the grotesque insults and harm his supporters dish out, is a heavy stone to have thrown at a person. Someone, Heather Heyer, lost her life to that cruelty. It hurts. Deeply. So many endings where they don't belong, that my human heart can't help but feel broken daily. In a moment of despair, I closed a door on a pal, someone I really liked. I have thought many times about reopening the door, and maybe saying I am sorry, but I know deep down that it wouldn't be fair to that person. I closed the door because I felt like I would say something, eventually, that I couldn't, or wouldn't, be able to take back.

 Life is so short, hurting people and generally being the worst version of myself is not something I am willing to do, if I can help it. I am not perfect, and I feel myself strike back in anger, which, of course, does not make me feel any better, but rather more like a failure than anything else. I know that I am not alone in having lost a friend, colleague, or family to this divisiveness, this time of dis pair. One day, in 2017, I felt myself sinking under the weight of the world, and I knew that self harm could make it all stop, I knew that I wanted to see the next autumn come around, but I also realized that out of fear I had stopped listening to music. I hadn't picked up my camera in months, I was living in a 24/7 news cycle because I was afraid to turn away.

I reached a scary point. Live in pain, or die in peace. I began to sob, and knew I needed to reach out to my doctor. So, after 20 years, I was put back on anti-depressants, and God I felt like a failure! I had survived all that time, lost my mother, lost Elvis, I packed up our cottage to move to a new home, only to find out the place was declared unfit for rental. Lost a friend who decided to tell me one day, she no longer felt superior to me, when all through our 20 plus years of friendship I never knew she thought she was! I went through it all handling it with the letting myself feel what I had to, and moving on. But this time things were different. 

I am tired. I want my life back. I am working on it, and the magic pills have helped, I have no complaints about them, accept I wish I could have done it on my own. There is hope coming up by way of the midterms, but I am trying not to acknowledge that hope, because what happens if I let myself believe in it, and the worst thing possible happens? For the first time in my life, I have lost hope and faith in my own country. If we go through two more years of this devastation, will our country even exist? The upcoming election needs balance things, by at least returning the House or the Senate to the democrats. We need some bi-partisanship in order to save our nation, but there is absolutely no guarantees when it comes to elections, no matter how much it seems to be going your way.

Fear may have taken my faith and hope, but dreams are a very different thing. For me it's the last line of sanity and vision for a future I can breathe in, so I am living in my dream of the future. My list of dreams isn't very complicated, here they are...

1. I dream of peace of mind.
2. I dream of being able to believe in hope again.
3. I dream that the pain that I and others are feeling stops.
4. I dream of the fear goes away.
5. I dream of endless autumns.
6. I dream of photographing all the public art I can find. 

I dream of having my old life back.

I dream of dreaming again, and waking up smiling.

I dream of peace, and autumn leaves.

#33 Leaf Of The Day

October 23rd 2018

Photographed September 29th, 2018

Stockton, California

Please.

November 6th, 2018

~Mood: Quiet

~Me

 

Once Upon A Time, On A Late Afternoon, In Autumn

Historical Crocker Mansion

Crocker Museum

Sacramento, California

October 21st 2018

"Great artists come and go; they are born and they die;

 but there one exception who has been living for thousands of years and still continues creating new works, new beauties every year: The Autumn"

~Mehmet Murat ildan

The light was on the decline in Sacramento, on a beautiful autumn day, and I was absolutely giddy! My camera and I had just finished shooting several pieces of amazing public art, and I was enjoying every moment of the ever so slightly crisp late afternoon autumn air! The trees in the, City Of Trees, is just beginning to turn, later than most years I think, but then I could be wrong, its probably just seems that way because I am as anxious for the full turn of the leaves, as a child is for the first candy to drop into his trick or treat bag! Isn't fun when you can be on one street and it's dark and sleepy, but you go two blocks over and the sun turns all the colors of the world on, like an leaf shaped Art Deco lamp?

Autumn is my longest, deepest love.

#32 Leaf Of The Day

October 22nd 2018

Photographed In Sacramento Ca

October 14th, 2018

~Mood: Happy
~Me :) 

Autumn Of Life

"Falling autumn leaves gave air an amber hue

 as thought seen through a jar of honey."

~Paula Wall

The Rock Orchard

The last couple years, or so, I have been photographing the not so perfect leaves I come across, as well as the stunning, newly fallen ones. The older, decaying ones lived an honest life too, right? Well, why shouldn't the have their day of recognition for having lived and life of harvest beauty, just because I hadn't arrived in time to see them in their full color beauty? They seem like a wise old friend to me now. Someone who had lead a life, and had stories to tell. I don't know, maybe it's because I am sailing off into my own season of autumn, and the honest feeling of wanting to still be recognized for the colors of me I can share. How did the middle of autumn come so fast? And how will it leave me this year? It all remains to be seen I suppose, I don't want to write that book before it's time. I just want to dance in my leaves and plan next autumn, and pray I will be lucky enjoy to put my dancing shoes on again!

#31 Leaf Of The Day

October 21st 2018

Photographed October 14th, 2018

Sacramento, California

   

~Mood: Quiet

~Me