Friday, March 27, 2015

We v They

"Only one valid law: never belittle others, never belittle yourself."

~Marty Rubin

Yesterday, I needed to take a little trip down to Oakland, to the County Assessor's office to look up the property description for the apartment... um... illegal apartment I am living in. What I found pretty much confirmed things, my apartment unit does not appear in the official legal description of the property! So, it seems that my little cottage will indeed be torn down sometime in the not too distant future. But I found out an additional piece of information, the two units next door to me on the property also don't exist, so that means that this mess is going to displace at least 3 of our neighbors, and possibly more, because now there is some fear that some recent renovations done on yet another unit, the duplex in the front of the property, may have been done illegally as well! It's beginning to seem more and more like the entire property is pretty much going to have to be torn down to the dirt.  Soon it will be a LARGE empty lot, in the middle of the hills. Lonely, and lifeless except for the gopher that loves to dig around in my yard in the back of my cottage. I am going to miss Murray.

So, while this whole thing is pretty awful, and really sad, and completely scary, it's also pretty damn insulting! The property management sent us a notice to vacate in 30 days, which is also illegal. I have lived her 14 years, under the law I am entitled to 60 days notice. Any property management that can read and chew gum at the same time, should be able to look that up on the Internet... or do they think I am stupid? Yeah, I think they probably do, but I am not. I have contacted an attorney, who is reassuring me that we will get through this, and we might even be able to recoup some of our losses and moving expenses. All I want is what I am legally entitled to. Since living here we have paid over $100,00 in rent, on an apartment that was never legal. And now, because of the sudden expulsion from my home, I have been put in a situation where I may have to face giving up my cats. I don't know what is going to happen in the next 2 months, I am just holding on, and taking it like Kimmy Schmidt does, in 10 second increments.

Mood: Hanging In There

~Me :)

Wednesday, March 25, 2015


"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over analyzing
 a situation' trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... 
or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on."

~Tupac Shakur

Okay, well, FUCK! Last night I found a note taped to my front door, or I should say, taped to the front door of a cottage I have been renting for 14 years, giving me 30 days to GET OUT. Why am I being evicted? Because, as it turns out, this cottage has been an illegal apartment since 1965. No permits, no verified inspection certificate, just a "cute, cozy" illegal dwelling! End of story! So, I have been paying for 14 years, and making minor repairs, and treating this place like I owned it, only to be kicked out of it, with 30 days to find not only a place we can afford... in Alameda County... but a place that will allow my three cat children. 

My family. My babies. 

In two months the owner of my cottage will be tearing my my cottage down, as if it never was. As if all the memories we made here... never were... God... like it never fucking existed. It will be like I never put up pretty blue curtains, or painted the walls cornflower blue. My kitchen was painted apricot, or was it? And my bathroom soft lettuce green. Elvis spent his last day in my arms here, and I spent so many afternoons listening to the distant Ethereal Musician playing his saxophone I can't even count them. I lived here when 9/11 happened. On that day there wasn't a single sound anywhere in the neighborhood, except my distant Ethereal Musician playing that tune on that lovely saxophone... 
the tune was... America. And just hearing it, made me feel, safer somehow.

The most frightening thing of all, is having to get rid of my babies.

I can't survive that. I won't survive that.

Later today I am contacting a lawyer, to see what my legal options are. 

After that... we'll see.

Right now, 3:15 AM Pacific Time, all I can do is cry.

Mood: Devastated

~Me :)

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Foggy Thoughts

"At night the fog was thick and full of light, and sometimes voices."

~Erin Bow
Plain Kate

It's been rainy in the Bay Area again. It isn't going to last long, but while it's here I find it hard to think because I am sure that there is something scary just beyond the fog draped trees. Is it scary like speaking in public? Or is it scary like Donald Trump becoming president one day? Who knows? But one thing is for sure, Dylan McDermott, carrying a box of chocolate, never comes walking out of fog... at least not in the horror stories I imagine! I really do need to change my way of thinking! 


Mood: Foggy

~Me :)

Monday, March 23, 2015

A Face In The Crowd: San Francisco Tree Remarking On The Chill In The Air

"In his face, there came to be a brooding peace that is seen most often
 in the faces of the very sorrowful or the very wise.
 But still he wandered through the streets of the town, always silent and alone."

~Carson McCullers
The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter

I kind of remember taking this photo. It was on one of the many days Alan and I spent in San Francisco last October. I think it was late in the day, on the same day, we went to Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum. We had so many wonderful days together, it seems like they have all ran together. It's a pretty cool face... isn't it? It was a windy autumn day, and to me, it looked like the tree was making a statement regarding the chill in the air. At least it seemed that way to me. Maybe it was just a tree.

Mood: Happiness

~Me :)

Sunday, March 22, 2015


Spring passes and one remembers one's innocence.
Summer passes and one remembers one's exuberance.
Autumn passes and one remembers one's reverence.
Winter passes and one remembers one's perseverance.

~Yoko Ono

It's such a pretty leaf. I know it's more dumb luck, than sweet magic that I found my camera, but there is something so amazingly wonderful about finding it in spring. 

I have autumn leaves in spring!

I am half way to October!

Mood: Happy

~Me :)