Friday, October 23, 2020

The Gifts Of The Witch Of Autumn Or Maybe Science

March 2020

Tilden Park, Berkeley, California 

"What is the name of your dream? A lovely wooden cottage in the middle of a forest? Or walking in an endless autumn path? What is the name of your dream? Don't give a name, always give a list! Fill yourself with dreams because dream is the path to reality."

~Mehmet Murat ildan


2020 was the worst year that I can remember, and it's not over yet. But one thing it did give me, was the ability to find Autumn leaves in every season. When I was a little girl, I used to believe there was an autumn witch that controlled such things. Unfortunately, I grew up and learned what really caused autumn to happen, but it was okay, science works nicely too. But this year was downright magical, witch or no witch! On my favorite trees, and in some new ones, I happily discovered leaves, there just for me! In other years I could find them up to March of the following year, but this year, science seemed to want Autumn as much as I did. Maybe my heart just needed it so much, the science said, "That's okay, we can do that for you." Or maybe there is a witch somewhere, answering my call for something to heal my heart, as it broke over a million little 2020 things. I am grateful either way!






October 23rd 2020

Stockton, California

Thursday, October 22, 2020

Autumn Grows In Everything


"Days decrease, and autumn grows in everything"

~Robert Browning

The last, thank God, debate between Trump and Biden takes place a little later tonight. I have no idea what to expect, and I am a bit apprehensive about it. No shit. Right? I've tried to create a 2020 Hellscape Bingo card, but I am just not creative enough to come up with any of what 2020 has thrown at us, including Guiliani's Borat fiasco!What the actual fuck was he thinking?Anyway, who knows what will happen. Up until now, Trump's attacks on Biden have been lame but there is still time for him to create a lot of mayhem and devastation, because he is displaying all the characteristics of a caged animal right now, so who the fuck knows where things will end up. 


Yesterday, I couldn't help but think of the marquee on the beautiful, historic, Grand Lake Theater, in Oakland. They have let their feelings be known over the years, and I have often driven by and been very impressed by their messages about voting. It resonated with me after the Supreme Court handed George W. Bush the election in 2001, and his attempts to fuck with the election in 2004, so when I saw this message back in September, I knew I would post about it closer to the election. The Republican party has become a bunch of thugs, not statesmen. When this time is over, the ones who worked to take Trump down really need to formally regroup and rebrand, because Trump did accomplish one thing, he sorted out the party players. I still wouldn't turn my back on any of them, but right now, the enemy of my friend is my friend. 


 The Leaf Of The Day #31

Rudy Guiliani Borat Fiasco


Stockton, California

October 22nd 2020

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

A Walk In An Autumn Garden Sculpture Garden


"Life is like autumn; short but colorful"

~Zain Baloch

When I first moved to Stockton, I was a fish out of water. Well, if you have been reading my blog, or following me on Twitter, for any length of time, you already know that. But I did try to learn my way around, so I subscribed to the town's newsletter, and jumped specifically into the part about great photo ops. I have been trying to visit each one, especially as I have become more familiar with the area. I have photographed parts of the Miracle Mile, the grounds of the University of the Pacific. The ample farm country, and of course the marvelous Mid-Century buildings downtown. Stockton has some stunning sunsets, and it also has awesome storms at times. Little by little I have achieved a fair degree of peace regarding our move. I am relaxing and settling in. Now, if I could be completely sure the world won't be ending at the hand of a madman... Donald Trump, everything will make sense again. Not thinking of politics, at least for a little while, would be nice. I won't be mentioning him again in this post. It's not about him, it's about the amazing statutes at the, Stockton Cambodian Temple (Wat Dhammararam).



 I have always wanted to visit this place, but somehow pushed it away. I have No idea why, perhaps I just needed to feel like I was the same size as everyone else, to find my way. I really don't know. But this week, I decided it was time to visit the temple grounds. It's vacation and my head is clearing a bit. I was surprised to see just how magnificent the statues were. Colorful and awe inspiring, they were placed all around the temple area, and as I walked through the sculpture garden, taking my photos, I felt at peace. It is a large property, so there was plenty of time to enjoy the time there. It was in the late afternoon, and the autumn sun played nicely with shadows, and lit up the autumn leaves as if they were on fire. It was a really nice experience. The one drawback was that the plaques on the statues were in Cambodian, but I am trying to find some information on them, and when I do I will either update here or post a whole new look at them. For now, I will simply share their beauty. They inspire peace, which we could all use right now. More soon. 


For now, enjoy!

 Today's Leaf Of The Day #30


Stockton, California

October 21st 2020

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

A Season Of Desperate Hopes


"Autumn is a season of desperate hopes.The leaves are souls begging to turn life on pause. Begging to stop, begging to take a break, hiding under smiles and childish words."

~Teodora Savr

Listen To The Leaves

I feel restless. Like a leaf waiting to fall, but never quite finding the time or will. We are all walking around on the schedule of others. I want the election over with, yet I am terrified to think about November 3rd... and what comes next. The last four years have been HELL. It has ruined holidays for people. For others it was sleep, or even just the previously common Monday, or spring. Full seasons. Relationships. You get the idea. Its a little different for everyone I guess. For me it's a little of everything, and so I have to wonder if that's! why I have been sick, every single Christmas since we bought this house! I guess we will never know. Anyway... completely off topic, sorta, here is a brand new mid-century hotel sign, from Lodi, California. Most likely the 50's. The era Trump is stuck in. The hotel appeared haunted to me... I think I know why. We are all ghosts right now, restless, tired and not at all sure of anything, but desperatly hoping that we will find out way out of the darkness.



Stockton, California

October 20th 2020

Monday, October 19, 2020

Somedays Just Leaves


October's Party

"October gave a party

The Leaves by hundreds came

The Chestnuts, Oaks, and Maples

And leaves of every name.

The Sunshine spread a carpet

And every thing was grand

Miss weather led the dancing

Professor Wind the band." 

 ~George Cooper

Just leaves today. More words tomorrow.




Stockton, California 

October 19th 2020

Sunday, October 18, 2020

Lost In The Weeds v Lost In The Leaves



'The man of autumn,

Behind it's melancholy mask,

Will laugh in the brown grass,

Will shout from the tower's rim."

~Wallace Stevens

Opus Posthumous: Poems, Plays Prose


For some strange reason, I don't feel as lost in the weeds as I have in the past. What is that about? In 2017 I sure thought Trump was going to kill us all in a random act of nuclear to human annihilation. That didn't happen, of course, but come to find out I was pretty fucking accurate with my assumption. I don't know if I felt relief or not to find out, that several of his national security advisors, worried about that possibility too. Vindicated? Yes, maybe it's vindicated. But still, the years followed and the fear grew, ending with this year's surreal pandemic mismanagement, which brought a whole new level of terror. But here I sit tonight. I know he's performing his tricks on stages across the mid-west, and his adoring fans are there to cheer him on, and catch Covid-19 for his, and the herd's benefit, but I don't feel dread. I feel like despite his threats, stomping his feet, and bloviating of regurgitated bullshit, it's all going to work out. Decency, will make a comeback. Folks will take voting seriously. I am beginning to believe my own bullshit about autumn being the great corrective. Like November 3rd, 2020, will be one of the best days of my life.


Am I wrong to feel optimistic about November 2rd? Am I ridiculous for that? Am I setting myself up for a terrifying fall? I don't know, but I'll get back to you on November 4th. I'll be the woman who is once again lost in the weeds, or perhaps I will just be a lady walking on a beautiful autumn path, with leaves falling all around her. So many leaves, that she happily jumps right into big piles of them, just to finally see all the colors of a year. Her year.



Stockton, California

October 18th 2020


Saturday, October 17, 2020

Mind Prisons

 "Only what slips through one's fingers, only what is never expressed in words, has no thoughts, exists completely. That is the price of proximity if you don't see it. Don't know that it's there. Then it's over, then you see it."

-Karl Ove Knausgard 


Yesterday, Alan and I took a drive to Folsom, California, to have a look around the Historic district. We got going a little later than we had intended too, so we didn't have a lot of time to spend there, or visit the tourist sites much, but we did stop by Folsom Prison, for a few minutes, to check the hours at the prison museum. Unfortunately, it was closed for repairs. It was impossible to see the prison, without thinking about the possible legal problems of the current president. I think he thinks about it too, even as he knowingly creates events that could infect folks with Covid-19, aka, super spreader events. A likelihood so possible, that he makes attendees sign a release that says they won't sue him if they contract the disease. Sometimes it seems like he breaks at least one law a day... maybe two. You know him, and history does also, and will not be kind. This place could very will be his new home one day, and Mara-Lago it isn't. He was just bellowing again last night about locking up, among others, Joe Biden. Old bullshit, different day. He thinks he will be able to talk his way out of his problems should an arrest happen, should he be indicted. I am sure his psychotic narcissism wont let him think anything else. So, what happens when the real world, the world he doesn't get to script, doesn't live up to his expectations? When he finally has to answer for what he's done? And are the rest of us ready for it? Are we in mind prisons as well?


October 17th 2020

Stockton, California


Friday, October 16, 2020

Autumn Memories


"Night, which in Autumn seems to fall

 from the sky so suddenly, chilled us."

~Jules Barey d' Auervilly

The Crimson Curtain


My Fibromyalgia had me in so much pain yesterday, that I did very little about roaming around in the autumn sun. Today, I am hoping to visit Lodi Lake, and perhaps Historic Folsom. Two places I have never been, but offer me a chance to climb out of my own head of political nonsense, and see the world around me. It's a sad thing to waste a beautiful sunny autumn day because of mental garbage. So, if you are reading this, do me a favor, visit the world around you today, even if you just look up to the sky, and acknowledge the October blue sunshine. We never know what next October will be like, so never miss the freedom to enjoy October day!


October's From The Past


Carson City, Nevada 2017

Nevada City, 2017

Danville, California, 2013
Carson City, 2005
Virginia City, Nevada, 2005
San Ramon, California, 2005
Carson City, Carroll, 2005
Today's Autumn Leaf Of The Day


Stockton, California
October 16th 2020



Thursday, October 15, 2020

Let There Be Autumn Light



"It was a beautiful bright autumn day,

 with air like cider and sky so blue you could drown in it."

~Diana Gabaldon


Few words. I am really tired. So tired that my body is screaming. I am not sleeping again. Yesterday, when I had been up well over 24 hours, I decided it might be a good idea to begin chasing down some autumn, first in Ione, second in Apple Hill. Bad idea! LOL. Not only did I find very little in autumn color, but it only served to exhaust me even more, but I did get a few nice shots in Ione. My little tree, just to the side of the downtown, has never let me down. It's still producing lovely leaves, and from year to year, I am never sure what color will be prominent, so it's always an adventure. This year it's red! A power color! Hopefully that's a good omen as well. We will overcome all this. We will be strong, and I will sleep again. Maybe as soon as November. 


October 15th 2020

Stockton, California