The Death Of Amateur Politics, Pandemics And Punditry

 

"On a withered branch 

A crow has alighted: Nightfall in autumn."

 

~Matsu Basho 

I didn't do as much photography as I wanted to on this vacation. So much was working against me. Two days of furlough money being deducted from Alan's paycheck, meant we had less money to spend. Covid-19 meant that we couldn't go to restaurants, not even Denny's, without making reservations way in advance, due to restrictions on how many can be served, and who knows if we would have felt like it when the time arrived. Covid-19 also derailed a lot of small traditions, like walking into somewhere like Old Navy or Ross and purchasing a t-shirt for the upcoming season. No movie theaters open. No comedy clubs. Nothing fun was open downtown, like ghost and zombie haunts. Life just didn't exist this vacation, and now it's almost over, and my life feels like it is being eaten alive, waiting for the results of the election. I pray that a year from now we will all be back to living. I swear, as soon as Joe Biden is sworn in, I am officially retired from amateur political punditry. With any luck, so will other people!

 

Make. It. Stop.

Just someone, please, call the fucking election already. 

~Carly

Stockton, California

November 7th 2020

Letting The Leaves Fall Where They Will

 

"I love autumn despite the drench weather. I think it symbolizes the end of misery and the beginning of glee. It gives hopes that sooner or later, flowers will bloom again, green buds will sprout from trees, and that which is dead will come back alive."

~Aishah Madadiy

Bits Of Heaven 

 

Well, there still isn't an apparent winner of the American presidency, as of 8:00 pm, Thursday, November 5th, 2020. If truth be told, however, I think before the sun comes up tomorrow morning, the race will be called for Joe Biden, by way of Pennsylvania. Shrug. There are a couple other paths as well, but who really knows? There are 5 battleground states remaining, but the Associated Press and Fox News have both called Arizona for Biden. Trump has filed... and lost... several lawsuits across the country. He gave a press conference that was belligerent, filled with lies, and a dog whistle to his cultist to interfere any way they could. Stop the vote in one place, demand the votes be counted in others. A situation that, like so many others, I plan to leave to history to document. I am too tired. We are almost at the end of the most terrifying time of my life, and I can see the finish line, but I am so tired that I can barely function. I am grateful that it's autumn though, because the leaves are falling in their own time, and no matter how I, or anyone else, feels about it, they fall where they will, just the way God, Mother Nature, and American politics intended. 

 

Falling Leaves In A Time Of American Politics

~Carly

Stockton, California

November 6th 2020

Western Bluebird And The Slant Of Light In Autumn

 

"Leaves doesn't wait for autumn to shed,

 they shed when they are ready,

 bad experiences doesn't wait,

 they leave when you are ready."

~Pushpa Rana

Just The Way I Feel

 

Monday was a beautiful day, filled with a lot of light, but also the shadows that are so unique during winter and autumn. I found a beautiful combination of lighting opportunities, but late in the day was my favorite time. I was visiting the East Bay, Castro Valley, specifically, and decided to visit the park at the Community Center. It has a beautiful slant of cool, filtered light in the afternoon, due to the natural filter of the trees, and the slopes of the terrain of the park. I took the photo above at about the same time I photographed the Western Bluebird at the top. It was lucky that I just happened to be in the parking lot, which sits in the center of the park, which allowed me to photograph both lighting opportunities at once. I was happy with the time I spent there. It was a good day.

 

 

Note: Current Results Of The 2020 Election As Of 4:50 PM PT

 

 

 

 

~Carly

Stockton California

November 5th 2020

1 In 10,000

 "Summer rushes in on the heels of spring, eager to take her turn; and then she dances with wild abandon. But the time soon comes when she gratefully falls, exhausted and sated, into the auburn arms of autumn."

~Cristen Rodgers

 

Earlier this year I spotted my very first black squirrel. A black squirrel is actually a gray squirrel, with different pigmant, but it is fairly rare, especially in California. That has been 2020. Lots of strange surprises and twists of nature. This one was at least a pleasant surprise, I think. They are rare in California, and this is the second I have seen in the same year, and it was in a neighborhood on the other side of Stockton. Black squirrels are about 1 in 10,000, so I am not sure what to think. I have seen the devastating effects of climate change on California in recent years. The extended fire season. The decline of the Monarch's at California sanctuaries. It is going to give me something to study this winter, when it will just be too cold to do much photography outside. I am looking forward to that. In addition to learning more about these squirrels, I also happened to spot a new bird in the East Bay that I haven't seen before, more on that later, so I have several topics to learn about. Vacation is almost over, and it will be nice to spend some time doing research into how California, and the nation, has changed in recent years, speciffically in regards to animal and bird life.

Note: If you are wondering about my thoughts on the election, it will all just have to wait. History and I will document things in their time. It's out of my hands. There is a strong chance that it will be several days before we finally know for sure, and that's if we aren't otherwise distracted by civil war. If I sound like I don't care... no... I do... but I just want to think about the squirrels. And the rest of my vacation. But I will say something when the time is right.

 

 

 ~Carly

Stockton, California

November 4th 2020

Tuesday, November 3rd 2020

 

"The birds will wing from the weather,

 while I stand still as the harvest

 with the sound of Fall in the air."

 

~Carolyn Kizer 

 

 

I pray that those who have yet to cast their vote, do so today with the seriousness that voting in a democracy calls for. I pray that no violence breaks out, and that no one is harmed. I pray for peace. Pray for my friends, my Twitter family, the celebrities I admire, the lady I spoke to, late last spring, who was a Republican from the state of Michigan. She and I had little in common politically, but so very much if we had just been two ladies, who had just met, standing in line at the grocery store. We began our conversation arguing over mask mandates, ended our conversation laughing about seed catalogs and what folks were willing to wear on their faces, while waiting for masks to become available. I don't think I will ever forget her. We had so much more in common, then we had dividing us. That conversation gave me hope, and that meant a lot to me. I had no idea how much worse it would all get, because you can't prepare for the damage Trump is capable of causing, but I knew it would get worse, and it did. All summer long. It was a long, sad, dark summer.

 

 Fast forward. I voted on October 12th, 2020. A crystal clear Autumn day. I have never been more sure of anything in my life, with the exception of marrying Alan. As I sit here right now, I am misty-eyed because the town that carries the distinction of being the very first town to register their votes in the nation, Dixville Notch, New Hampshire. They recorded the results of five ballots. For President of the United States... 5 votes for Joseph Biden. 0 votes for Donald Trump. Does it mean that all is going to go smoothy for the rest of the day? Oh HELL no, but it's a good feeling to know that 5 people in New Hampshire and I would get along, if we met in a grocery store check-out line. See, that's what I have missed most in the last four years... hope. That dumb four letter word. Hope. Maybe we are spelling certain words all wrong. Maybe "Vote" should actually be spelled "Hope". Nah. I HATE Hope's guts!

~Carly

Stockton, California

November 3rd 2020

Scattered Leaves

 

"Early this morning I read about your autumn, and all the colors you brought into your letter were changed back in my feelings and filled my mind to the brim with strength and radiance.

 

Yesterday, while I was admiring the dissolving brightness of autumn here, you were walking through that other autumn back home, which is painted on red wood, as this one's painted on silk." 

 

~Rainer Maria Rilke

Letters To Cezanne

 

As sad as I always am to see October end, seeing this November begin made my heart smile! Yesterday was beautiful! You'd never know that there was anything to fear. For just a little while I didn't feel haunted by the ghost of the presidential election of 2016.

 

 ~Carly

Stockton California

November 2nd 2020

Blue Ties

 

"Happiness is to get lost in an autumn forest,

 and not to be found is an even greater one."

 

~Mehmet Murat ildan

 

Two days to go, more or less.

 

I have been having a recurring dream for three years. It has never varied in all that time. Trump is standing at the window of the Oval Office, just staring outside. Emotionless. I can see the reflection of the day in his eyes. Its a clear day. Sunny. Blue sky. He turns and walks across the room, where he locks the door to his office. As Melania starts to walk in through a door to Trump's left, he shoves her back out and locks that door too. He walks back to his desk and pulls a plastic can of gas from underneath, and proceeds to empty its contents in a circle around the room. He walks back to his desk, takes a long sip of Diet Coke, throws the can at a painting on the wall behind him of a man on a horse, and then strikes a match, and sets fire to the Oval Office.

 

 The dream is pretty vivid, but no detail is more vivid than the fact that he is wearing a blue tie. For some reason, that part of the dream feels like the most frightening part. It's fairly easy to figure out. He has been setting fire to the presidency since day one, but that blue tie must have some other meaning, because even right now, as I sit in my office, feeling comfortable and unafraid, I feel uneasy sharing that specific detail. I have had the dream many times since 2017, so you would think I'd be used to it by now. It's the minds way of processing things, that can't be dealt with in the clear light of day.

 But I am sure you can imagine how I felt that day last summer, when Trump did his melodramatic photo op with the Bible at, St. John's Church, in Washington, D.C., to prove how big and brave he was. He was wearing a blue tie that day, that was uncomfortably similar to the one in my dream. 

Well that stunt, using God, pushing the church's pastor around, not only using the Bible as a prop, but holding it upside down, did nothing for him, or his approval ratings, and no one that I know of, found it to be particularly manly. It failed miserably, as it should have! But that stupid stunt worked in one aspect, it scared the shit out of me because of that fucking tie! He wanted to scare someone,  anyone, and he succeeded, even if it was just me. He's irrational. How do you stop being afraid of an irrational person with nuclear codes and no sense of humor? Okay, I know, I'm the one being irrational right now, fretting over a blue tie, but GOD I pray he isn't wearing it on election night. Or any other day until after Joe Biden is sworn in as the 46th President of the United States, on January 21st, 2021.

 

Vanity Fair

Surprise: No One Is Impressed By Trump's Tough-Guy Church Photo Op!

 

 

~Carly

Stockton, California

November 1st 2020