"Illness is the night side of life, a more onerous citizenship. Everyone who is born holds a dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick. Although we all prefer to use the good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, for identify ourselves as citizens of the other place."
~Susan Sontag
Illness As Metaphor
The last time I posted here was on January, 18th. Just about eight weeks ago. So much has happened in that time, but it's Trump time, which is time that seems to move differently than any other measure of time, because of his knack for creating a NEW FRESH HELL daily, and the last eight weeks have been no different. But in addition to his bullshit, other things have happened. In no particular order, I learned that I am now in late, stage three, Chronic Kidney disease. Valentine's Day happened, which was great this year, because Alan and I got to spend the day together, and he gave me my first Valentine's day card in years. Spring officially began last Friday, and along with all the rest of it, came a pandemic.
It is believed that the Covid-19 virus (novel coronavirus) began late last year, in China, but that is somewhat unclear in detail. Right now that is just the theory, because it's not definite how the first human contracted it. Trump, in his usual racist form, likes to refer to it as the Chinese virus. A term which is not just wrong, but again, racist. Blatantly so. So, as you might imagine, his speaking daily, alongside his coronavirus task force, helps no one. He speaks, down goes the stock market. He speaks, a whole community of Americans are put into danger from racist assholes. He speaks. He lies. He puts folks in danger from so many directions it's staggering.
I've been dwelling on my childhood, and the little memories that seem like a billion years ago, but also, somehow, feel like a couple days ago. I miss little things. Like eating on Christmas eve, at the little fish and chips restaurant, that my family loved so much. I remember eating there, on the first day of autumn, in 1976, after I went shopping for back to school clothes. I can remember everything about that meal, and about the clothes I purchased that day. I had chosen a brown cardigan sweater, and two skirts. A solid plum colored skirt and the other one was black and covered in tiny gold flowers. I bought a long sleeved green sweater to wear with that one. Also in the bag, I had a new pair of tennis shoes and a new pair of boots. A new purse and some folders and pens. And now I am hungry for a restaurant that hasn't existed since 1984.
But...
back to today. I am not sure why I am dwelling on those memories, except that it feels like my mortality is in serious play. Covid-19 tends to hit folks who have compromised immune systems. Between my Fibromyalgia and my kidney disease I feel like it's just a matter of time until it comes for me. The Trump administration has bungled the response to the pandemic.... thoroughly. All of it surrounding Trump's ego and pride, but fortunately individual governor's have really stepped up! Like Gavin Newsom. He was the first governor to shut a state completely down to all non-essential gatherings, including work. The state is closed, which means stay home unless you need to visit a grocery store or your doctor. It's an eerie feeling, and an even eerier sight, but that's the order, and it's so little to ask, if it will help stop the rampage of this deadly virus.
Before his order went into affect, folks throughout America panicked and cleaned out the grocery stores of everything, from toilet paper to canned food. We have driven the state up and down trying to find one package of toilet paper, and can't. It's not available on Amazon either. We are down to our last two rolls, and then we will have to do something fairly unpleasant, but workable. I don't want to think about it. We have food and for the most part supplies for us and the boys, and that is what matters. We are fairing a lot better than the hospitals, which at the moment, can't get masks, ventilators and other much needed equipment. Trump knew in late December what was coming and did nothing about it. He is about a dangerous man who has ever lived. These sure do seem like the last days, but I don't want to think about that. Why? It's not like worrying will stop the apocalypse... right?
Oh well. That gets Ellipsis caught up on the most important changes that have taken place. I will touch on everything as we move along going forward. Right now, here are some photos in order of what inspired me since January 19th. Small steps as we go. Right? Okay, moving on to some images, beginning with the sunsets. There will be more sets to come, in fact, some upcoming posts will simply be sets of photos until I get things caught up.
Keep checking back.
Set #1 The Sunsets
~Mood: Sad
~Me
