It's January 4th...

 

"Who are these masked birds? Not Robin Hood's for they live in open woods. They only deal in stolen goods. Like berry futures, cedar cones and sweet, sweet fruit, but leave the stones."

~Janet Yolen

Cedar Waxwings Unmasked

... and there is an elephant in the room. A big, bloated, shitgibbon of an elephant. But there's nothing I can do about his machinations. Just keep watch and hope for the best! Yes, I am stressed out. Sometimes it feels like having any kind of hope for the coming mid-terms seems completely irrational and ill advised. Right now is one of those times. But I am trying to focus on the things that heal me up inside, like birding. One of my favorite birds to photograph, the Cedar Waxwing, showed up in Louis Park a couple days ago. They are beautiful, and challenging, and that's just what I need to get me through... something of natural beauty, rather then all the manufactured drama that fills every single day! So enjoy this little gallery of the delightful little drunk birds, the Cedar Waxwing.

Autumn Leaf Of The Day #88

"Each falling leaf is an act of surrender,

 teaching us to release the old to make way for new beginnings.

~Unknown

It's difficult to post autumn leaves, while grieving the loss of Rob Reiner and his wife. There has been a lot of tragedy this autumn, a lot of deaths. I am not sure what I would have done without my new kittens, who fill our home with joyful life! Ommie used to say, "and this too shall pass" and I have lived long enough to know it's true. The autumn leaves have brought so much color, to an otherwise dark and tearful time. Autumn heals me, and this year it is leaving way too soon, and I will grieve it's loss too, but winter will actually help me heal, by giving me some quiet, black and white photography time, to reemerge into the colors of spring.

No Really, I'm A Nuthatch!

 

“Katy stayed in the treetops, no one ever found her. Except for the squirrels and the birds all around her. At last she was free, just as free as the breeze, And how Katy did love it up there in the trees.”

 

~Bill Peet

The Caboose That Got Loose

 

I spend as much time as I can in tree tops. Not literally, obviously, but what I mean is, I am a birder, therefore my eyes are constantly gazing upwards. It's good for me, because often my moods and body condition leave me weighed down. The other day I was sitting on a bench, at the Cosumnes River Preserve Wetlands walk, when I heard a rustle in the tree above me. I was excited, perhaps this was my chance to finally capture a beautiful photo of a White-breasted Nuthatch! Ummm... nope. It was this gorgeous squirrel making all the ruckus! I was delighted! It was pretty and funny and it entertained me long enough to leave a smile on my face for the rest of the day! Nature is a great healer! Just look at these photos and argue my point!

 

 Go ahead, I dare you!

 

 

 

 

In The Sun In Autumn

“If I were a bird, I would fly about the Earth

 seeking the successive autumns.”

 

~George Eliot 

 

The San Joaquin river flows right near my condo, and the Port of Stockton is right there as well. I get to hear ships in the harbor blow their horns, indicating their arrivals an departures, and it is a wonderful sound, as is the train that goes by, and the fog horns in the autumn and winter months. To my delight, I also get to hear the migrating birds say hello, while they are on their way here and there, and in the park next door, Louis Park, are several of my most beautiful autumn trees I have ever seen. I can actually see several species of birds, without going any great distance. On days like this, when I am sad, that I am brought a strong sense of relief, just by closing my eyes, and appreciating what's going right. Sweaters. Extra blankets on the bed. Hot chocolate. The sound of rain on the windows, are all a part of autumn's healing powers. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that.

 

 

 

 

How I Spent My Last Day Of Autumn 2023 (Part Two)

 

Life is like a train ride.

The passengers on the train are seemingly going to the same destination as you, but based on their belief in you or their belief that the train will get them to their desired destination they will stay on the ride or they will get off somewhere during the trip.

People can and will get off at any stop.

Just know that where people get off is more of an reflection on them, than it is on you.

There will be a few people in your life that will make the whole trip with you, who believe in you, accept that you are human and that mistakes will be made along the way, and that you will get to your desired destination - together, no matter what.

Be very grateful of these people.

They are rare and when you find one, don't let go of them - ever.

Be blessed for the ones who get on at the worst stops when no one is there.

Remember those people, they are special.

Always hold them dear to your heart.

Be very wary of people sneaking on at certain stops when things are going good and acting like they have been there for the whole ride.

For they will be the first to depart.

There will be ones who secretly try to get off the ride and there will be those that very publicly will jump off.

Don't pay any heed to the defectors.

Pay heed to the passengers that are still on the trip.

They are the important ones.

If someone tries to get back on the train - don't be angry or hold a grudge, let them.

Just see where they are around the next hard turn.

If they are buckled in - accept them.

If they are pulling the hand rail alarm again - then let them off the train freely and waste no space in your head for them again, ever.

There will be times that the train will be moving slow, at almost a crawls pace.

Appreciate that you can take in the view.

There will be times where the train is going so fast that everything is a blur.

Enjoy the sense of speed in your life, as it is exhilarating but unsustainable.

There will also be the chance that the train derails.

If that does happen, it will hurt, a lot, for a long time.

But there will be people who will appear out of no where who will get you back on track.

Those will be the people that will matter most in your life.

Love them forever.

For you can never repay these people.

The thing is, that even if you could repay them, they wouldn't accept it anyway.

Just pay it forward.

Eventually your train will get to its final stop and you will need to deboard.

At that time you will realize that life is about the journey AND the destination.

Know and have faith that at the end of your ride your train will have the right passengers on board and all the passengers that were on board at one time or another were there for a distinct purpose.

Enjoy the ride.

~John A Passaro

Life Is Like A Train Ride

 

Trains. Birds. The remainder of the Autumn Leaves. I suppose I spent the last day of Autumn 2023 the way I began Autumn this year, only a bit less maudlin perhaps. Autumn is now, and always will be, the great healer. It has always healed my heart, like no other time of year and this year was no exception. So, there isn't much to say about it, it' just helped me find my footing again, and I am forever grateful. Now, on to the rest of the holiday's!

 

 

The Red Dragonfly Of Summer And The Autumn Leaf Of Late September

 

"Autumn was San Francisco's summer. The days were bright and warm, scented with drying leaves and fading flowers and the ever-present salt air."

 

~Susan Wiggs

The Lost and Found Bookshop

 

 Finally, a dragonfly. I hoped to be able to photograph one over the summer, but either it was too hot to think about venturing outside to do some photography, or when I did get out to the delta and it's sloughs, there was nary a one to be found. Ironic that I saw some along Desmond road yesterday, happily dancing about in the late afternoon sun. Autumn isn't exactly their season. Or is it? I don't know much about them, except that they are pleasant little creatures to photograph, and they eat nasty things like mosquitos. Anyway, I have had several days in a row of happiness, and I hope to keep up that momentum. I just want to be happy again, which I think I will be, I just need more time I guess.

 

~Me 

It Is Said That...

 "It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before your eyes. That is true, it's called life."

 

Terry Pratchett

The Last Continent

 

Okay, here is yet another new post, I am making progress. And a new photo as well. Well, actually it's a new photo in the sense that it was never posted previously. And, in continuing with the theme of "new", I am writing this post from a band new computer. My old computer was damaged last summer from a sudden power surge that blew through the house. How? Well, it was all tied to the move so I am going to just not discuss it. It is all in the past. I am trying really hard to just pick up the pieces from it and Covid. Life can't swing back upwards if I don't. 

 

Anyway, the new computer is awesome.

 It's an HP Pavilion desktop, TP01-2xxx. It's specs are as follows...

 

AMD Ryzen 5700G w/Radeon Graphics GFz

RAM: 16.0 GB

64-bit operating system, 64-based processor

Windows 11 installed. 

 

Windows 11... blech! I would rather have Windows 10 back, but lets be honest, that's just because I was so familiar with how it worked. Windows 11 has a lot of new features, and the interface is completely different. In my opinion, it's just not as attractive as previous Windows systems, but that's not everything I suppose. Anyway, we purchased a separate drive for all the files and images I stored on my old computer so if I need anything it's still close, but the last 7 years isn't in my face every time I sit down to the computer.

 

So, off we go. I have some plans for the computer. Some classes perhaps. Lots of birding, means lots of editing, and photography in general means lots of experiences that will get me outside of the depression. Although, I have always maintained that once life notices you having any fun or contentment whatsoever, it will kick you in the nuts, just to see you cry, but I am willing to see what happens tomorrow. I'll give life one more try. But if you hear a distant scream, and hear an unnerving amount of wailing, that would probably be me. 

Just kidding.

 

Autumn Begins... 3:20 PM EDT

 

"But when fall comes, kicking summer out on its treacherous ass as it always does one day sometime after the midpoint of September, it stays awhile like an old friend that you have missed. It settles in the way an old friend will settle into your favorite chair and take out his pipe and light it and then fill the afternoon with stories of places he has been and things he has done since last he saw you."

 

~Stephen King

Salem's Lot

 

The last photograph of summer in the San Joaquin Valley  

 

The Autumn Equinox is here. Finally. Autumn... the great healer of all the fire, pain, exhaustion, and of course, treacherousness of summer. I know I say it every single year, but the summer of 2021 was a season I tried very hard to not turn my back on. If ever a summer smile on it's face and a knife in it's hand, it was this one. We are selling our home, which means it has been emotionally exhausting, but we are nearing the end of that journey, closing is only a matter of days away, and autumn will heal us. It always does. It did in 2015, after the cruelest summer in decades brought us to Stockton, by way of the desolateness of the towns of Patterson and Turlock. The summer of 2015 tried very hard to break us, fortunately, it was also incompetent, because we are still standing.

 

 Last year, autumn relieved the world of Donald John Trump's presidency. Some healing definitely happened, but then a bitter winter came, and with it, the pain of an insurrection. But in the end, autumn and winter joined hands one last time the day of Joe Biden's inauguration. It meant a lot to me to see not just Biden be sworn in, but also that of the first female vice president of the United States, Kamala Harris. This year, all I ask of autumn is to be gentle with me. Help me find my way. I will be saying more about it later, but all I want for the first week of my favorite season is to enjoy our last week, or so, in our house. To love as much as Alan and I can. Love the kids. Love the movies we watch. Love the meals we share. Love. Autumn is here, and it has indeed kicked summer out on it's treacherous ass! 

 

And now, the first autumn leaf of 2021!

 

Sacramento, California

Nikon

 

Welcome To Autumn 2020 And The Leaf Of The Day

"But when fall comes, kicking summer out on it's treacherous ass as it always does one day sometime after the midpoint of September, it stays awhile like an old friend that you have missed. 

It settles in the way an old friend will settle into your favorite chair and take out his pipe and light it and then fill the afternoon with stories of places he has been and the things he has done since last he saw you."

~Stephen King

Salem's Lot

Finally... we cross over. It's autumn. I feel safer, and yet I have never been more frightened. Worldly events make it seem and feel like if I go to sleep, I won't wake up. Killed at the hands of a madman. I kinda like a world with autumns. Where I can have my cats, my familiars, my photography and home. My love. My morning sun. This is the autumn I need to heal me. But maybe it's too much pressure to put on this one season. Still, if all goes well, I will get a six month nap, and I never sleep better, than I do in autumn, so there's that. But hey, we are here now, so I am going to enjoy the autumn light for as long as fate allows it.

~Carly
September 22nd 2020
Stockton, California

First Autumn Rain Is The Sweetest

"It was a beautiful autumn day, with air like cider

 and a sky so blue you could drown in it."

~Diana Gabaldon

Outlander

Blue Skies

Thursday November 22nd 2018

Thanksgiving

Home

The rain finally arrived on Wednesday, and it was a was such a welcome relief, it was almost as if Mother Nature gave Northern California a gift and something to be truly thankful for! And believe me, we were, and I am betting everyone shared in the joy of those raindrops! We can finally breathe clean air again, and as of last night, the Camp Fire, in Butte County is 95% contained! While that is truly something to be grateful for, the folks of Paradise have a long way to go before their lives will be back to any semblance of normal! It will a hard climb, but we in California are tougher than we seem, and there has been some incredible generosity directed at that community. Prayers really do help, because it's always good to know folks care enough to take it to God, or send some positive energy, when one is down and out. 

I have so much to be thankful for this holiday. Alan, the boys, food in my cabinets, and love in my heart for humanity. The midterms was pretty great too! Politics makes the world go around, and now we have the Congress to keep Trump in check, which makes me feel a whole lot safer! I also have my leaves to be thankful for! I have seen so many lovely leaves this year, that it isn't even possible to photograph them all for this project, but I hope to finish this year, with one big burst of color, that so far, hasn't made it into my postings. I want to celebrate the beauty that is all around me. The beauty that is sometimes in my own yard! I am happy. Really happy. Now, is life perfect? OH HELL NO! There are still some serious financial matters hanging in the air. I have NO idea if we will be here next year, but I do know that with Alan's love, and the boys snuggles, we will be alright. 

 Thanksgiving Dinner

Thursday November 22nd 2018

Home

A Perfect Autumn Leaf

November 17th 2018

Stockton California

 

And another gift of beauty from autumn!

And another...

 #63 Leaf Of The Day

November 23rd 2018

Stockton California

Samsung

~Mood: Thankful

~Me 

At The Haggin: The History Of The Stockton Fire Department

"History, Stephen said,

 is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake."

~James Joyce

 ~Ulysses

My heart continues to go out to the town of Paradise, California, as they continue to battle the raging inferno consuming the community. Almost, if not all, has been lost. It is a distinct possibility that the town of Paradise will never recover. Just cease to be a destination in Butte County, California, and that thought truly breaks my heart, because that area has a special place in my heart, especially this time of year! It is simply breathtaking in autumn, and I have been at the edge of the county many times, while traveling into Plumas, County, where I have done most of my autumn landscapes in recent years.

I don't think about fire much. It just happens to be one of my top three phobias, so avoid it as much as possible. Spiders are phobias number one and two, but fire, well, ever since I was about three years old, has been the thing I fear most. It all started one night in the middle of the summer, in 1965, when my three year old self, watched my father, and his carpool friends, save our neighbors two doors down. When he and his coworkers turned the corner onto our street, the house was already fully engulfed. Dad was the first one to run into the house. 

My sister, who was a good bit older than me, held me in her arms as we watched our dad, save a whole house full of people, a whole family, one by one. I was terrified that he wouldn't come out. Or worse, would my father come out on fire? Thankfully, I never had to see that, and there was no loss of life, but I can imagine all those children who lived in the town of Paradise, and how hard this experience was and will be for them, the rest of their lives. I am praying that the community can heal, and rebuild.

 I wish life didn't have to include times like this, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but I am so glad that I can visit museums, like the Haggin, here in Stockton, and begin to learn not just about my new hometown, but it's rich history, and especially about it's early disaster response. Alan and I had a fascinating look, during our recent visit to the Haggin, and I will be sharing the amazing bits of other historical interests we learned about, but where else could I start this series, but with a little bit about the Stockton Fire Department's early history!

Can you believe that was the way fires were telegraphed in Stockton until 1979?! 

That was the one piece of history I could have lived without seeing, but it seems the town of Stockton, did pretty good with keeping the town and surrounding rural area safe! 

 #55 Leaf Of The Day

November 15th, 2018

Photographed October 14th, 2018

Sacramento, California

~Mood: Okay

~Me