Ellipsis Movie Of The Week... Dan In Real Life

 

"You know that feeling in your heart? When you heart is just pounding, like it's actually outside your ribs? Exposed but vulnerable and awful, and heartsick, and alive, all at the same time.

~Dan Burns ( Steve Carell )

Dan In Real Life

I seem to be gravitating to movies about different kinds of love. Which is okay, I guess, but it's just that I am such a lucky person to have found all kinds of love with my husband, and that a rare thing. I think about it more as well, because we are living through such dark, desperate times. So bare with me, I am encouraging myself to branch out and enjoy a larger genre than rom-coms. But to be fair, this is a new movie for me, so yea!

As for, Dan In Real Life, I enjoyed that it dealt with the sometimes messiness of relationships. Lovers, Love at first sighters, brothers and sisters, and of course, our parents. Make no mistake, while it might seem like a comedy from the trailers, it's a dramady, but a well balanced one. It's a good watch. A pleasant one. A quiet movie that's needed right now. But I have to confess, I have loved every movie Steve Carell has every done, so I might be a wee bit impartial.

Say His Name... Alex Jeffrey Pretti

One Headline... Two Different Days

 I don't have a witty quotes for today. I am tired, brokenhearted and really sad. And I admit I found it surreal that the New York Times had the same headline for, Saturday, and Sunday. Forgive me if this is a less than perfect post. History will remember this time, and will not look kindly on these assholes. Say his name, Alex Jeffrey Pretti. He was an ICU nurse at the V.A. hospital, in Minnesota. He was a son. And he was so much more, including a hero, for trying to save a woman who had been shoved to the ground by ICE agents.

 He was the same age as Renee, Nicole Good... 37.

Renee Nicole Good

Murdered by ICE

 January 7th, 2025

Alex Jeffrey Pretti

Murdered By ICE

January 24th, 2026

How many more will have to die, at the hands of the Trump Administration?

The stupidity speaks for itself. Don't let yourself be Gaslighted.

RIP

 Alex Jeffrey Pretti

When Autumn Falls

 
Take no one or anything for granted.

 Love deeply.

 Be gracious. Be Thankful! Grateful for your life!

"Wind warns November's done with. The blown leaves make bat-shapes, web-winged and furious.

~Sylvia Plath

The Collected Poems

Autumn is slipping away now. The trees are beginning to stir grief in me. Loss has been great this year, and the nearly barren trees remind me of Hendrix's death. He was an autumn cat, he was born at the end of September in 2008. Along with Dylan, they were our autumn cats. Hendrix was black, and Dylan was orange. Perfect. They helped in healing from Elvis's death, just a few weeks earlier. I miss Hendrix with a deep sadness that I try to not manifest because I can't live in the pain anymore! Instead, I think of how happy he made, and how loved he made me feel. I am okay, and lucky enough to still own Joey, and now, Simon and Tyler! During this season of thanksgiving, I know, I am truly blessed, but I will miss those leaves, very much. To everything, there is a season.

Halloween Countdown Film #18...

 

Captain Daniel Gregg: You must make your own life amongst the living and, whether you meet fair winds or foul, find your own way to harbor in the end.

 

~The Ghost And Mrs. Muir

 

This movie is a ghost story, sure, but it also a romance that will have you in tears! I like it when horror, mixes with unexpected emotions. The Ghost and Mrs. Muir is also a wonderful tv show, starring, Hope Lang. It's available on YouTube, so watch that too if you get the chance! 

 

 

Halloween Film Countdown #25... The Changeling

 

“Just because something cannot be seen with one’s

 physical eyes does not mean it does not exist.”

 
~Megan Mary,

  The Dream Haunters

 

Questions to ponder...

 

Do you believe in ghosts?

 

Do you believe in the supernatural in general?'

 

Do you believe believe that ghosts are merely the manifestations of unfinished business for the living and, perhaps, the dead?

 

Are ghosts merely the memories we carry with us?

 

Are ghosts regrets, which we cannot allow to heal? 

 

Are ghosts the inability to let accept loss after grief occurs? 

 

What are ghosts?

 

 The movie, The Changeling, will make you ponder the bigger questions of the supernatural, while absolutely scaring the heck out of you! I went with friends to see this movie, all the way back in 1981, and as I said then, I will say now, it's one of the best ghost stories I have ever seen. 

 

Watch it, and ponder, but not alone!

 

Welcome Delicious Autumn, 2025

 

“But when fall comes, kicking summer out on its treacherous ass as it always does one day sometime after the midpoint of September, it stays awhile like an old friend that you have missed. It settles in the way an old friend will settle into your favorite chair and take out his pipe and light it and then fill the afternoon with stories of places he has been and things he has done since last he saw you.”

 

~Stephen King,

  ’Salem’s Lot

 

And Autumn begins. I love beginning the season with one of my favorite Stephen King quotes, and it also happens to be one of my favorite books. I fits. Although this year, it seems that summer wasn't as treacherous as previous years. I am almost... almost... feeling sentimental about it. It was like summer found it's empathy. Maybe that was it's treachery this year, or maybe it was just it was giving me a break, as it let me transition from such deep grief at losing my Hendrix, to my immense joy at finding two more loves in Simon and Tyler. But Autumn is here, and with each day to come, I will feel better and better. Autumn always heals me. And I never have to guess at it's motives!

 

Check back later today for the very first, Autumn Leaf Of The Day, for 2025! 

Love Love Is The Best Time Of Day

 

My kitty was pure love. I will speak more about Hendrix soon, but right now, I just can't. His passing came quite suddenly last Monday morning, and I just need to catch my breath. I was incredibly lucky to know him, and be his mother. He always let me know. I was loved.

 

I miss you, Love Love.

 

 

 

 

 

Autumn Leaf Of The Day #1

 

“Aprils have never meant much to me, 

autumns seem that season of beginning, spring.” 

~Truman Capote

  Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Three Stories

 

Can you believe it? We have finally arrived at the first day of autumn! A welcome old friend. I photographed this leaf in Castro Valley yesterday, after I dropped off some unused food and a test kit Dylan never got to use. Oh my. Autumn will have a much different feel to it this year, but as I have always said, and believe even now, autumn heals me like nothing else, and I am grateful for that! Hopefully it will fill my heart with every beautiful thing, and I will see beyond this overwhelming sense of loss. Sorry to be so maudlin, I won't be like this every day, I promise, but autumn is the season of letting go after a life well lived, isn't it? And all things in their time.

Autumn Begins

Sunday, September 22nd, 2024

5:43 a.m. PDT

 

Goodbye Super Kitty

 

"There will come a day, I promise you,when the thought of your son or daughter, wife or husband brings a smile to your lips before it brings tears to your eye. It will happen. My prayer for you is that day comes sooner than later."

 

~Joe Biden

 

I said goodbye to Dylan yesterday. He died peacefully and we loved and loved each other deeply, as we made eye contact with each other, as he began to slip away. I always knew he would need me at the end, just as he needed me when we made eye contact when I first met him. We always needed each other. And we were there for each other throughout the years. He made me laugh, oh my god how he could piss me off, but he was also a lot of fun to snuggle with, and we shared biscuits with butter. He loved butter. He had a full personality, sometimes he was Dillybean, other times he was Mr. Pissypants!He was complicated, but we found our way. Eventually, in 2020, he began to have health problems, and the end came when he was 16 years old. That's 81 in cat years. He lived a long safe life with us, and his brothers, Hendrix and Joey. There is never a good time to say goodbye, and I will miss him forever. But he lives deep in my heart, and one day we will see each other again, and we will play our favorite game, Super Kitty. 

 

Super kittttty. He flies to the east, and he flies to the west.

 

Heee's Supppper Kitty

 

Goodnight my baby.

 

 

 

The Goddess Of The Season +Autumn Leaf Of The Day #79

 

“It's autumn," I said. "I can see the trees turning through the windows."
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
"It's going to be the Day of the Dead soon," I said.
"Sounds gruesome."
"It's a festival." I looked at him over my shoulder. "The only one that gentry and peasants share. We celebrate Persephone going down to Hades for the winter, they remember Tom-a-Lone getting his head cut off by Nanny-Anna. Everybody makes grave offerings, then there's a great sacrifice to Hades and Persephone, and that night there's a bonfire and they burn a straw Tom-a-Lone dressed up in ribbons.”

 
~Rosamund Hodge,

  Cruel Beauty

 

 

I am doing a lot of reading about the Goddess, Demeter. She is the goddess who governs Autumn and the harvest. Until yesterday I hadn't realized that there was a specific goddess devoted to the seasons, which is embarrassing because of course a higher god, or goddess would watch over the harvest, it's just that I always focus on the god, GOD, as being the one who does all the work to bring my favorite season to life. Shrug. But I love reading about mythology, always have, learning about her is a good and fascinating thing to do. I grew up with the movie Xanadu, which tells the tale of one the 9 sisters of the arts and science, the daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne.

 

 Olivia Newton-John played the muse, Terpsichore, the muse that inspired dance. The film was a was a homage to the wonderful 1947 film, Down To Earth, which starred Rita Hayworth as Terpsichore. Both films are great for different reasons, but hey, what about Demeter? What an amazing tale that would be to watch. She has been imagined in the arts, mostly, as an older woman, and I could see anyone from Meryl Streep in the role. She has truly mournful story. You can read about her life here. It's worth a look see. That leaf is absolutely gorgeous. So pretty it took my breath away. And it's a very nice thought that a lady like me created it, and appreciated all the things about Autumn I do, I think she would also understand my grief as well. That's comforting. Really, Hollywood should do less from the Marvel Universe, and more from mythology.

 

Autumn Leaf Of The Day #31

 

“Their leafy whispers delighted her, and she promised her confidentiality by gently touching the trunks of both trees. They had held her secrets close to their hearts, she could do no less.” 

~Jesikah Sundin,

  Legacy

 

Have you ever just stopped in autumn and listened to the sound of leaves as they glide to the earth? It is music. And it isn't a mere instrumental, it has lyrics too! It's a love song one minute, and the next a marching band. Mostly though, it whispers of love and the joys of a life lived to the fullest. Of no moment left unnoticed and no season taken for granted. I wish I would have lived my life with as much grace as a tree does. I wish I would have allowed myself to learn the timely lessons of letting go, and the healing and renewal that comes from it.

 

 

Sticks And Stones

 

“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”

 
~Albert Einstein 

 

Hundreds Killed. President Biden will arrive in Israel in a couple hours, to meet with Benjamin Netanyahu and to, I assume, try to lessen tensions. But with this event having taken place, I am not sure it will happen. Nothing is inevitable, but it seems like we are closer to catastrophe, than understanding and resolve.

 I pray for the president's safety.

 I pray that he can help make this stop.

 

 My faith is in him.

 

Shadows

 

“That country where it is always turning late in the year. That country where the hills are fog and the rivers are mist; where noons go quickly, dusks and twilights linger, and midnights stay. That country composed in the main of cellars, sub-cellars, coal-bins, closets, attics, and pantries faced away from the sun. That country whose people are autumn people, thinking only autumn thoughts. Whose people passing at night on the empty walks sound like rain.”

 
~Ray Bradbury 

 

I decided to do two versions. I really liked the way the plant in the color version looked with the shadows across from it, but it was late in the day, and the color was not photographing very well. So two versions it is! Both have a vibe all their own, so I just suppose it depends on mood. At the moment I am leaning toward black and white. I am in a quiet mood. Not depressed, just quiet. I am a bit weary. With the brewing war in the Middle East, a difficult summer has carried it's cruelty into Autumn. I dunno, maybe that was why Autumn gave me the gift of beginning early. The Autumn sun was beginning in the first week of August. We found 2 Snow geese at the Cosumnes River, Desmond road, but they shouldn't have been there for a couple months or so. Just stuff like that. Shrug. But here we are. A cruel middle east, and me missing my niece and nephew so much I can barely breathe. God I feel old. I guess that's why the shadows appealed to me so much. In both color and black & white. Both versions definitely say Autumn to me.

I am okay. Just weary.

Autumn Leaf Of The Day #4

 

“And all the lives we ever lived and all the lives to be

 are full of trees and changing leaves…”

 

~Virginia Woolf

 

 A peach colored leaf. It reminds me of the delicious peaches we bought just a couple months ago. I guess summer does have a few redeeming qualities. The amazing fruit. I love fresh peaches and strawberries. Alan has always loved watermelon. Truth be told though, we both love a big fruit salad with something decadent, like sherbet or ice cream. There used to be a restaurant called, Lyon's, and many a summer evening we would walk from our apartment, a third floor walk up, to the restaurant just a cross the alley. We were just married, and made fun out of something as simple as walking to the restaurant or theater, which sat the same amount of steps in the opposite direction. It's a nice memory of being 28, happily married to the love of my life, and enjoying the best of it all in peace. See, that's what my leaves do for me, they help me remember the best of times. I need that right now.

 

 

On The Last Full Day Of Summer... Reflections

 

Mockingbird

Bruceville, Road

September 2023

 

“I think the sun is a flower.
That blooms for just one hour.” 

~Ray Bradbury

  All Summer in a Day

 

Today is the last full day of summer, and strangely, I am not as happy about it leaving as I have been in past lifetimes. I am not sure how I feel about it all. It was a dreadful summer in ever usual sense, and in the sense that I my niece and nephew passed away, way too young. The temperature outside didn't seem as hot as in past years, or perhaps it was just me, floating in a sea of cold thoughts that gave me the chills every night. After we got the news, I wanted more out of the summer, something to make me forget the pain and to help me avoid the sudden bursts of grief that would not only haunt my daydreams, but my sleep as well. But there was very little to fill that need. Although, happily, and quite by misadventure, I went looking for birds on Desmond road one day, only to not find a single one! On the way home, I did find a bridge, with several thousand Mexican Free-tailed bat emerging from beneath!

 

The Mexican Free-tailed bat is NOT a bird, it's a bat, but it was a winged creature and I was intrigued! I came home, did my research, thought about it, and the next night hubby and I went back to see and stand among them as they ventured out for the night. And venture out they did! You know. I posted about it a few posts back, I met the challenge of being around a scary bat, without fear! I got to feel proud of myself, have a lot of fun, and even forget, for just a moment, about the pain I was in. It was a summer gift! Imagine that! Summer has a glorious redeeming gift that I can now revisit every night in July and August next year, if I want, but really, I think a few nights next summer will do! Why not every night? Well, as it turns out I am allergic to mosquito bites. It's called Skeeter syndrome. The bite reactions are itchier and more painful then most folks feel. They also blister. ITS NOT FUN! But Benedryl Gel is excellent for healing them should they blister, so it was all ultimately worth it!

 

So that was my summer adventure. We now kiss summer on the cheek, and send it off to it's well earned sleep. Goodnight summer.

 

 

Limp

“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” 

  ~Anne Lamott  

 

A lot has happened since we last spoke. The next few posts will explain, but this post is about being tired. I am tired of settling this condo. I feel like I have been packing and unpacking for two years, and there is a reason for that... I HAVE. Trump makes me tired every day, which is really nothing new, and add to it all is a feeling of incredible loss and deep grief over the death of a man very special to the world and to me personally. Grief is such a personal thing, we can all feel it, but we do so in such different personal ways. As I said, I will speak more about all this in the coming days, but for right now, sigh, I just have a headache and my eyes hurt, and I just need to rest and clean my house, and yes, continue with my project of unpacking and letting go of all the things preventing me from moving on to a healthier place.

OUATIH

 

"Nah, it was dumber than that."

~Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt) 

Once Upon A Time In... Hollywood 

 

Warning: Spoilers Below

 

Hair will always be my favorite movie, full stop, but in 2019 a new movie came along that floored me, and I find myself watching about as much as I do Hair. It's the 9th film from Quentin Tarantino, Once Upon A Time In... Hollywood. It's smart, funny, violent, gory, sweet, shocking, and downright chilling. In other words, it's a movie by Quentin Tarantino, so as you might expect, it's complicated. But what Tarantino did was to give the audience, his audience, a chance to visit the night of August 8th,1969, and dream of a whatif scenario, like any of us of a certain age did, since the tragedy happened all those years ago. I was 8 years old when the murders occurred. I had been in Los Angeles the year before when my sister and I visited Disneyland with my sister-in-law.

 

 We drove around all over Tinseltown, and marveled at the lights along the Sunset Strip. I will never forget the lights of the city. We drove to Malibu and through some of the canyons on day 2. Benedict Canyon was one of them! Our 5 day vacation was exciting, and wildly fun, and I still daydream about it to this day. My sister and I bonded that trip, and spent some time talking about our bother who was serving in Vietnam. Sis and I had never been particularly close, and we still aren't, in fact we haven't spoken in 25 years, but our first vacation away from our parents was filled with so much innocent fun that I feel a little sad that she and I are no longer friends, or family for that matter, because life is short.

 

Sharon Tate only lived 26 years. She had a younger sister too. Unfortunately they never got to live a lifetime of sisterhood, and here my relationship ended over so much self-inflicted indifference and deliberate malice that it's obscene. My heart aches for the life Sharon Tate never got to have, because of individuals filled with rage, drug induced paranoia and societal indifference. My sister acted out for similar reasons. Sharon was gorgeous, so much so that it's rumored that she was the inspiration for Malibu Barbie! And it's easy to believe, as there was a pretty strong resemblance between the actress and the doll. It's kind of a nice thought. I was a fan, even as a child. When I heard the news of her death, I was so sad, I remember discussing it with my friend Jimmy, my best friend, who would pass away himself a few short months later. 

 

His death left a huge hole in my life, and in the hearts of everyone on our street. The kids didn't play together anymore, and the parents stopped having friendly cookouts together. No dads watching football together, or moms meeting after PTA meetings for gossip and a quick drink before the menfolk got home from work. So many times over the years I have thought about those two uniquely devastating events, and what it would be like had neither had occurred. I have played it over in my head about a million times, but it always ended up the same, that poor lady passed away, and my friend was gone at 8 years old. The End. But as it turned out, there was someone, somewhere, about my age thinking about tragedy too, and in 2019, he gave me an ending I could get lost in, to a great deal of satisfaction. It's fiction. Sharon Tate's story did occur, but as I sit here, an old lady of nearly 60, watching as tragedies happen almost daily, I am grateful to Quentin Tarantino for giving me an alternate reality to step into for a bit of relief. He couldn't bring my friend back and change the events that led to his death, but he did give Sharon Tate a different story.

 

Once Upon A Time In... Hollywood.

 

If you haven't seen OUATIH watch it.

 I can't recommend it enough.