Ellipsis Word Of The Week... Forplaint

 

"Never tell your problems to anyone... 20% don't care

 and 80% are glad you have them."

~Lou Holtz

Forplaint is a rare and obsolete Middle English word

 meaning, "wearied with complaining."

Forplaint used in a sentence... 

Trump's constant complaining about everything from what he deems the fake news, to how unfair it is that the congress doesn't just hand him billions for his stupid ballroom, has left me more than a little forplaint.

Dance Of Depression Plum Fairies

"THE HOLIDAYS ARE RUINED!

This book is one page long and just contains that one sentence."

~Amy Poehler

Okay, whether I like it or not, I have to face Christmas! But I am not in the mood... I am just not. It has been such an odd year, everything has seemed upside down, and it feels like every day might begin, but end before it naturally should. Trump can't stop running his mouth, North Korea has a missile pointed at us, and... .

I could give the long list about everything he does that scares the ever loving SHIT out of me, but why?

Bitching won't make my depression magically disappear. It won't make it 2016, on the night of the election, when Hillary Clinton won. It won't make any of it make any sense at all. Bitching, at most, will relieve a little bit of the tension, I feel in my mind and my body. Reality, is reality. Hey, at least the last few days have had some bright moments to them. Omarosa has been fired from her "job" as "White House Liaison for African American Outreach". That's been an amusing tale, and I am sure it was quite the political and holiday spectacle, but that's one Christmas party I am happy to have missed! Anyway, it made me smile, so there's that.

Over all, I'm tired, that's all, I am just really tired, but I am hanging in there, waiting for someone to ride in and save the country, like a shining knight saves the damsels at the end of most animated movies and children's books. I wished I really believed that would happen. Deep down. But every day there are rumors of Trump, firing the one person who could actually save us, Robert Mueller. If that happens, there would be an immediate Constitutional crisis, throwing us further into chaos, and making us even more vulnerable to hostile foreign nations. And then there are our other problems, which again, we don't have a lot of control over, but hopefully, some of this will be straightened out, when the clock strikes midnight and 2017 becomes, 2018. 

There are a couple more weeks left in 2017, and I am going to try to get through them, with a smile on my face, and a little bit of joy, here and there. We are putting up a few decorations later today, and tomorrow we plan on visiting the Christmas Carousel in Tilden Park, and then perhaps we will visit either San Francisco, or Sacramento, on Sunday, to see what kind of festive decorations they have going on there! I think that leaving the house, and jumping into some seasonal bliss my help the cloud I am in. We'll see. Wish me luck, okay? I am really going to try to put a happy face on all this, and who knows, maybe it will stick!

#15 Leaf Of The Day

December 15th 2017

Stockton, California

Mood: Tired

~Me

All I Need To Know

"Fear is always with us,

 but we just don't have time for it.

 Not now."

~ Hillary Clinton

Living History

There was a video 9 years ago, that was so endearing, so perfect, that it sealed how I felt about Hillary Clinton as a leader, and how I saw her as a potential president. I have thought about that video many times over the years. It was a tongue in cheek parody of the Sopranos. It ended similar to the Sopranos ended, with us choosing the outcome. And the rest you know. But it's been difficult, especially in the hardest times, not to look back and wonder what might have been. 

So, here we are, a couple days after the first debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump and while most outlets give her the debate by a wide margin, I wake up to find that Trump supporters have engaged in silly shenanigans by rigging non scientific online polls to unfairly project Donald Trump the winner. It's stupid. It's petty. And it doesn't fool anyone. Mostly, at least for me, it just makes me sad.

Hillary prepared for the debate. Donald Trump didn't. It's a part of history now, but to see the continued refusal of his supporters to call him on his lies, misogyny, or any of his ridiculous behavior just hurts my heart. When did that kind of behavior become acceptable? When did we give up on the truth? On civility? On rational thinking? On manners? On each other?

 I don't think the debates to come will do much to sway voters. If you don't know by this point how you feel, then you are incapable of knowing what you want for breakfast. I doubt I will post many more posts specifically about politics, at least until close to the election. It takes too much out of me. I can't keep hurting myself on a daily basis by drowning in the negativity of this election season. The harshest, saddest, most frightening of my lifetime. I have my mind made up. I decided 9 years ago when Hillary ran the first time, that she was what we needed then, and she still is!

This told me all I need to know about Bill and Hillary Clinton.

 

Leaf Of The Day

September 28th, 2016

Mood: Quiet

~Me 

Where The Love Is

"Shit happens. Doesn't mean you have to step in it.

 But if you do, I would buy a new pair of shoes."

~Kilburn Hall

Stuff happens in life. Sometimes stupid, meaningless stuff. Stuff there is no excuse for or understanding of. I don't think I will ever fully understand what all has gone on this year, so I am learning to live with it. Isn't that what they say to do? If you can't change a circumstance, try to change how you feel about it? Well, for me, it means simply learning to live with it. I am trying my best, but it's a matter of taking one step forward, and away from it, every day. I think I have moved passed the panic and frustration. I am moving past the depression a little more and more with each passing "normal" movement, like fixing a meal or making the bed. In other words moving on. The depression began to scare me a bit... well... a lot... but I think it was the depression that helped me come to terms with all of it. I experienced the full five stages of grief, which from what I have read, is a perfectly normal response under the circumstances. I am now in the acceptance stage, and while I have a blue day here and here, and I am still a little worried being able to swing the ability to own a home, I go to bed at night incredibly grateful for whatever time we end up spending here.

 A year, two, maybe five years... it's all good. If we should find that we need to sell and go a different route I am okay with that also. But in the mean time, this new house has taken me in somehow. It has a wonderful nurturing vibe to it, in fact both Alan and I felt it from the first moment we saw the place. We looked through a lot of houses, and none of them made us both smile the way this one did! The house was meant to be ours, for however long it is meant to be, and it takes good care of us. I have been reluctant to feel love for the place, but it's wearing me down. I am pretty much in love, and I don't even know when I let the emotion in, but I did. Stockton, California has it's challenges, but it has been getting better in the last couple years. The neighborhood is Lakeview, and it sits in north Stockton. It is the third best neighborhood, the best neighborhood is about 2 blocks west of us. LOL. So it's in a stable, reasonably safe part of the city. Stockton is a big city, so yes there is crime, but it's all about knowing where you can go, and any given hour of the day, and being aware of your actions and surroundings.

We all have to do that anyway. After the terrible tragedy in San Bernadino last week, the point was driven home that one can't be too diligent. We can't live a normal life if we dwell on stuff, but being aware of your surroundings just makes sense. So, I am no longer "just making the best of it" I am settling in. We are making the house ours, and it feels good. Any place Alan and the boys are will be home for me. They fill the place with so much silliness and love that it would be impossible to not love the place. I think that's how we made it in the little Berkeley cottage for so long. It wasn't the cottage, it was the love inside. Alan and Elvis, and then Hendrix, Dylan and finally the little brother Joey. 

Our house is a home, no matter where we are, 

but I am kinda digging the new place!

Now, if I could just motivate myself to get the unpacking done! 

Leaf Of The Day

December 6th 2015

Mood: Relaxed

~Me :)

Blame It On The Devil

"October proved a riot to the senses and climaxed

 those giddy last weeks before Halloween."

~Keith Donohue

The devil did it! Well, it's as good as explanation as any I suppose. The problem is my AT&T Uverse. You see, since we had it installed in the middle of September, it has gone our six times! We have had 14 different technicians out and they keep scratching their heads over it. Sigh. It's been just one more thing weighing on me. I will plan to relax in front of a wonderful old movie like, Arsenic And Old Lace, and poof... that little red light of doom will appear on the gateway box and out goes the TV and the Internet! 

It's not very helpful, especially when I hear tech after tech say they can't figure out whats causing the problems. The latest techs were out on Sunday and they say it is fixed once and for all, but they have said that before, so right now I just have my fingers crossed. In the grand scheme of things it's not the end of the world, but when you need a quiet little escape like an old movie, and suddenly the Uverse goes out, it can be the proverbial straw that breaks the camels back! I have already decided that if it goes out again I will simply call and exorcist... I mean we have tried everything else! LOL. 

And yes, I am kidding. 

 

Something Pretty...

 

 

Leaf Of The Day

October 25th, 2015

Leaf Of The Day

October 26th, 2015

 

Mood: Happy/Not Happy

~Me :)

 

Enough Is Enough

"I had a dream about you. Our relationship faded from red to white and somewhere in the middle, in the pink zone, I told you I loved and you and you returned it.

 However, at white, our relationship went black and I sought red in the arms of another woman."

~Jarod Kintz, 

Dreaming Is For Lovers

It's a red day. By the end of business hours today, we will know whether or not my former landlords are going to pay us what is rightfully ours... or if Alan and I have to file suit in Superior Court to get our money back. Sigh. We are really hoping we won't have to do that. We don't want to do that. Sigh. We don't want to devastate anyone, we just want what's fair for us. 

We didn't ask for this situation. 

Sigh.

  There comes a time in life when you have to say... 

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

And NO, the quote doesn't really fit the words of the post, but it does remind us that life changes color sometimes, and so do relationships. Sometimes things really are BLACK AND WHITE.

Mood: Quiet

~Me :)

We v They

"Only one valid law: never belittle others, never belittle yourself."

~Marty Rubin

Yesterday, I needed to take a little trip down to Oakland, to the County Assessor's office to look up the property description for the apartment... um... illegal apartment I am living in. What I found pretty much confirmed things, my apartment unit does not appear in the official legal description of the property! So, it seems that my little cottage will indeed be torn down sometime in the not too distant future. But I found out an additional piece of information, the two units next door to me on the property also don't exist, so that means that this mess is going to displace at least 3 of our neighbors, and possibly more, because now there is some fear that some recent renovations done on yet another unit, the duplex in the front of the property, may have been done illegally as well! It's beginning to seem more and more like the entire property is pretty much going to have to be torn down to the dirt.  Soon it will be a LARGE empty lot, in the middle of the hills. Lonely, and lifeless except for the gopher that loves to dig around in my yard in the back of my cottage. I am going to miss Murray.

So, while this whole thing is pretty awful, and really sad, and completely scary, it's also pretty damn insulting! The property management sent us a notice to vacate in 30 days, which is also illegal. I have lived her 14 years, under the law I am entitled to 60 days notice. Any property management that can read and chew gum at the same time, should be able to look that up on the Internet... or do they think I am stupid? Yeah, I think they probably do, but I am not. I have contacted an attorney, who is reassuring me that we will get through this, and we might even be able to recoup some of our losses and moving expenses. All I want is what I am legally entitled to. Since living here we have paid over $100,00 in rent, on an apartment that was never legal. And now, because of the sudden expulsion from my home, I have been put in a situation where I may have to face giving up my cats. I don't know what is going to happen in the next 2 months, I am just holding on, and taking it like Kimmy Schmidt does, in 10 second increments.

Mood: Hanging In There

~Me :)