Dreams Of Summers Past

"Let us dance in the sun, wearing wildflowers in our hair... "

~Susan Polis Schutz

Yesterday was the Summer Solstice, and the longest day of the year, but today is the first full day of summer, and the time is now moving back toward those dark autumn days I love so much! Despite the sun, and the hot temperature, it was beautiful along Desmond road, at the Cosumnes River Preserve, and it gave me the chance to pick up the photos for this post! I was only out a little while, but it was enough to tire of the hot summer sun, and to pray that autumn will come early, as it did last year. I felt like I was melting, and it made me homesick for rides along the coastline, in summer, when the sky is clear, and the air is filled with the smells of the wildflowers and the ocean. I am trying to find what's special about the here and now. I live here after all, and this will be my 11th summer, so I can look back all I want, but it will just make me heartsick, and that's no way to live. The summer always makes me feel this way, it must be the temperature or something. I know that as I ease into summer, I will be right again. I always am.

Anyway...

Now That Everything's Been Said

 

"Music gives a soul to the universe,

 wings to the mind,

 flight to the imagination

 and life to everything."

~Plato

When I was a little girl, I loved the Mod Squad, and I still do to this day! I mean, how groovy were they? My neighbors lovie that show too. I can remember sitting outside, on an especially hot night in August, listening to my friend's parents discussing trivial things. Grown up trivia. But when they began talking movies and tv shows, my ears perked up! I was really curious about what they watched and why! My friend Wendy had some chic parents, at least by my reasoning as an 7 year old. Mrs. Greg lived for the Mod Squad, and she was miserable that she couldn't just survive the house to watch it. No air-conditioner, meant you toughed it out inside, or took it outside, even if it was still blistering hot at 10:00 pm! I don't why that memory is so sealed in my mind, but it is. I guess it's just one of life's mysteries, what you remember and what you don't. Anyway, years later I bought the full series on DVD for hubby, because he had never seen the show! Can you believe it? So, if you are like darling hubby and you have never seen the amazing hip coolness, of the Mod Squad, here is a particularly wonderful clip of Peggy Lipton, from 1969, singing, Now That's Everything's Been Said, by Carole King. It's truly wonderful. It's peaceful. We need that right now. I need that right now. And the nostalgic feeling and memories it brings up aren't bad either.

Carole King

Now That Everything's Been Said

Autumn Maple

 

“When everything looks like a magical oil painting,

 you know you are in Autumn!” 

~Mehmet Murat ildan 

 

Everything is beginning to show more color. I am not usually a fan of gold, but this tree in Cull Canyon park simply took my breath away! My family had a Big Leaf Maple in our yard when I was a child, unfortunately it became diseased and it had to be cut down when I was about 4 yrs old. Oh boy, was I angry! I never forgot that tree. I think of it in autumn, and all the times I spent having autumn tea parties with my friends under that tree. The naps I took with various pets, and leaves I collected. It was my best friend. After it was gone, my parents planted an apple tree, and it was great. We had a pear tree in our backyard too, so the fruits were wonderful, but my memories always go back to that lovely, golden, Big Leaf Maple. This one, in the park, isn't my friend from childhood, but it's a good tree, and it makes me feel good inside whenever I see it, but especially in autumn.

 

 

 

  

 

 

Sitting Up A Tree

 “You live in your head too much, you curl up and shut shit out and spend so much time doing it, you forget to live your life. You can’t live your life in your head. That isn’t living.” 

 
~Kristen Ashley

  Mystery Man

 

 It's so weird. This is the second Red-shouldered hawk I have seen in the last few days. I went most of last year without seeing one, except for a single one I saw perching on a phone line deep in the valley. Strangely, it was across the street from an Osprey nest sitting high atop a different pole. The Osprey wasn't being particularly combative about it's presence, so I guess it wouldn't be considered too strange, but it intrigued me. This little Red-shouldered hawk is chilling in an old tree at the Stockton Rural Cemetery. I would have loved to have studied him longer, but it was pouring down rain, and even with no wind, it seemed like it was coming at me in all directions. That's what it is like to live in your own brain too much. Information, experiences and events you want to enjoy are sometimes drowned by one single thought or a at times a deluge of unrealistic fear. The "what if's" can burden one to a devastating level. But it's 2024, the year I embrace living in the moment, instead of the fear! Friday, for example, we are heading to Bodega Bay where, hopefully, I will come up with enough birds to reach 75 in this year's bird album. But really, 80 is a nicer number! Hey, it could happen, I reached 54 yesterday!Not bad for 3 days of searching! I can't wait to see what's waiting for me next!

 

The Ghost Of Chocolate's Past

 

“Memories warm you up from the inside.

 But they also tear you apart.” 

 
~Haruki Murakami,

  Kafka on the Shore

 

Finally, the spare room is finished! To celebrate it actually being livable, and the last reminder of that god awful move behind us, we decorated it for Christmas, and went to Ghiradelli in Lathrop for some chocolate, a bottle of sea salt caramel topping and bag of peppermint baking chips. I wish I had been at Ghiradelli in San Francisco, because as I remember, they had a lot more choices of products, like my hubby's favorite, chocolate covered coffee beans, and the chunks of chocolate in a barrel, and it's San Francisco! My dad used to buy me the big chunks of chocolate whenever he visited the city. I was thinking about him the other day, he loved to grab a sundae there. All it took was a big Hot Fudge Sundae to put a smile on his face. Ghiradelli's chocolate is very distinctive. The Hot Fudge is amazing but our favorite sundae was the Hot Peanut Butter. They don't have it anymore... darn it!

 

Funny, it isn't even my memory, and yet I can see him sitting at one of their little tables enjoying the view, and devouring that delicious sundae. That was dad. Gosh, I sure am missing him right now. I think he would have enjoyed the Sugar Cooking chocolate squares I bought this year. Oh my... anyway, as chocolate goes, I enjoy it but by no means am I a chocolate fiend or anything, but there are definitely some memories around it. Like the memory of my sister always having a BIG box of See's candy on the table for Christmas eve. I did love so the Milk Bordeaux, and I don't know if I ever told her how awesome it was that she did that. Smooth, sweet the candy melted in your mouth. I haven't had one of those in ages. She and I were never close, and after a certain point we never spoke again, but she is gone now too, and I am thinking about her this Christmas too. Oh boy... sigh... I think I see another post about chocolate, and family dynamics, coming! 

Lathrop sure isn't San Francisco.

 

San Francisco Fleet Week 2023

 

 

“What could be more exciting than an October day?

 It's your birthday, Fourth of July and Christmas all rolled into one.” 

~ Peggy Toney Horton 

 

 

San Francisco Fleet Week

 

It's Fleet Week, and yesterday it was practice day for the Blue Angels, and I enjoyed watching them zigzag across the bay. One moments soaring over the Bay Bridge, the next moment... literally... they were doing all sorts of diving acrobatics over the Golden Gate. The was silvery. It was late afternoon, so the sun was well into the western sky, and this being October, the sun and the bay twinkled silver. If I had been on the San Francisco side of the bay, I would have had a different, more of a blue background, but I decided at the last minute it would be nice to see if I could find a decent vantage point.

 

 I was in the east bay, which is fine, because Emeryville has several spots on the bay and I got to include San Francisco in the background if I could just find a spot. And I did. Thank you little blue handicapped placard. It almost makes having a bad knee worth it! Any time I can see San Francisco makes me feel wonderful inside, but having the Blue Angels in the photo is especially nice because it brings back memories of going to the airshow when I was a very little girl.

 

 

 My dad worked at the Alameda Navel Air Station, and therefore had one of the best seats on the bay to watch. The military base where he worked. I will never forget the insanely loud roar as the planes departed the nearby aircraft carrier, even the noise canceling headphones I was wearing didn't completely muffle it. I looked forward to our little October tradition, and then one year we just stopped going, who knows why? Maybe I just got too old for it, or maybe dad did. I don't know which, but it was dad's birthday yesterday, and he would have turned 105 years old. We would have enjoyed seeing them again, and I do wish he could have been with me yesterday. I miss him.

 

 

An Autumn Place And Autumn Leaf Of The Day #70

 

"The music of falling leave, the autumnal story to tell, 

as I drink in its nostalgic smell. The flash of red, the flash of gold. 

 Yesterday is past, yet, the tale did not grow old."

 

~Jayita Bhattacharjee

 

I had a favorite tree in the East Bay. It was in a park I used to visit when I could, which in autumn seemed to be at least once a week. I would take my lunch there and just breathe in the sights and sound of autumn. I love that Halloween happens right in the middle of all this beauty. There are so many memories surrounding that old tree. It makes me terribly sad that I can no longer visit it on a whim, but this tree in Stockton is definitely easing that pain. The leaves are completely different, and in truth, I feel a lot less safe in this park, but look at that light! October never passes away as long as I have that color and that light, and my heart holds on with such appreciation.  I love this tree, we are friends. It felt my pain last year, and it held out it's hand and said to me... come here, sit beside me, and let it all out. My branches are strong enough to hold you. Everyone should have a place like this to go to. I have two!

 

 

~Me

Autumn Memories

 

"Night, which in Autumn seems to fall

 from the sky so suddenly, chilled us."

~Jules Barey d' Auervilly

The Crimson Curtain

 

My Fibromyalgia had me in so much pain yesterday, that I did very little about roaming around in the autumn sun. Today, I am hoping to visit Lodi Lake, and perhaps Historic Folsom. Two places I have never been, but offer me a chance to climb out of my own head of political nonsense, and see the world around me. It's a sad thing to waste a beautiful sunny autumn day because of mental garbage. So, if you are reading this, do me a favor, visit the world around you today, even if you just look up to the sky, and acknowledge the October blue sunshine. We never know what next October will be like, so never miss the freedom to enjoy October day!

 

October's From The Past

 

Carson City, Nevada 2017

Nevada City, 2017

Danville, California, 2013

 

Carson City, 2005

 

Virginia City, Nevada, 2005

 

San Ramon, California, 2005

 

Carson City, Carroll, 2005

 

 

Today's Autumn Leaf Of The Day

 

~Carly

Stockton, California

October 16th 2020

 

 

 

Wouldn't It Be Nice

"Then the trees, after their long silence,

 began to talk again, in yellow and red.

 And the days began to shrink under one's very eyes."

~Hope Mirrlees

That's how I used to think about autumn. Like the the trees begin to speak again, when mean-spirited, oppressive summer is ready to lie down and sleep, but the weather this year is challenging my ideas. This year, this summer, shows no indication that it's cruelty will be backing down anytime soon. The temperature the last few days has broken records all over the state, and in my little corner of the world as well. The coming week is supposed to be a bit cooler, but not by much, and the state is still experiencing wildfires, which is playing havic with the air quality. Things are better than a couple weeks ago, but it really all depends on which way the wind is blowing.

This was the last unofficial weekend of summer. When I was a kid it was exciting because that meant that school was beginning in a couple days, most years anyway, it was the Wednesday following Labor Day. Everything smelled like new clothes and pencils. There was something about that, that made it all exciting somehow. Maybe it was because it was almost like it was a secret, but at the same time, if was a secret, it was more the worst kept secret in the world! But it was special at the time, and in my memory as well. 

Sitting here, with my childhood behind me for too many decades to mention, I find myself lonely for how simple and unafraid I was. We didn't have the wildfires we have today. There was no such thing as whole communities burning to the ground. In effect the entire state of California has been on fire for weeks, that was unheard when I was a kid. We also didn't have to worry about a mentally ill, out of control president, getting us all killed in our sleep. It's all so surreal. Both the natural world, and the world of politics, seem more like some sort of waking nightmare than any kind of possible reality.

I remember the last day, of the last weekend, of the summer of 1978. It was Monday, so of course I watched the Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon. Well, it was on my portable TV in my room, but I was preoccupied with the week ahead. I was busy choosing my new denim skirt, pink peasant blouse, denim purse, brown boots and brown canvas book bag for first day of school on Wednesday. I was excited and wanted to be sure that's what I wanted to wear. There was a guy, Scott, that I wanted to impress on our first day back. Little did I know I would see him smoking a cigarette, after Home Room the following Thursday, and fall completely out of the crush I had been carrying for most of the summer. Easy Come. Easy Go.

Fast forward...

I wish I wasn't so scared all the time. 

I feel like there isn't much more that can be said. At least not in this mean-spirited political season.

I remember having the jitters so bad, that I called KFRC on that Labor Day evening, back in 1978, and requested a song. One of my favorites that always made me smile, and feel happy and safe just by hearing it. Wouldn't It Be Nice, By The Beach Boys. It sure did that night, all those years ago. Wouldn't it be nice if things were still that simple?

~Carly

September 8th 2020

Stockton, California

Cottonwood Leaf

Stockton, California

September 6th 2020

Nikon

ABC MOVIE OF THE WEEK 1972 WHEN MICHAEL CALLS

   

"I am like a small creature swallowed whole bu a monster, she thought,
 and the monster feels my tiny little movements inside."

~Shirley Jackson

The Haunting Of Hill House

Well, I said I might be showing a movie or two this year, and it seemed like a good day to do just that, especially in that Blogger isn't allowing me to upload the picture I would have been posting. Shrug. It happens. I don't know, maybe it's a good thing. Movies are a big part of my interests, especially horror movies, and this one is definitely one of my favorites, since childhood.

It first aired as the, Saturday Movie Of The Week, on February 5th, 1972, although this recording is the, Tuesday Movie Of The Week. I suppose it was a repeat of the original broadcast. But that's fine, because I remember loving it so much, that I am pretty sure I would have watched the rebroadcast, and I am fairly sure dad was sitting on the couch right next to me. Watching scary movies with my father, are some of the most rewarding memories I have of being a little girl. Dad and I had a difficult relationship, but he and I shared a lot too. We had the same sense of humor. We both loved horror movies, and we both enjoyed cooking. He loved autumn as much as I did. His birthday was in early autumn, and always included the first pies of the year.

My father passed away, August 29th, 1995, and while I don't watch for the date on the calendar, I do tend to miss him a bit more. He loved the color of the early autumn sun, and I finally saw that autumn light coming through the bedroom window yesterday. It's here. Autumn is here, and it's just a matter of the official hand-off from summer to autumn in a few weeks! I just wish dad was here to enjoy it with me.

 Dad would be the first to say, don't look back, just enjoy where you are, right this moment, so I am excited to immerse myself into the season, and vacation this year, and look for as much beauty as can be found. I feel a bit more optimistic, but I am not being naive, I know that positive outlook will probably come and go. So, for right now, I am going to roll with all the happiness a favorite old movie or book can bring. I have never read the book, so maybe I will do some looking around, perhaps I can find a copy of it at a used bookstore.

When Michael Calls, is based on the 1967 book of the same name, by John Farris. It's equal parts ghost story, and detective story, but more than anything else it's just good all around storytelling. A few twists, that might be a bit predictable, and would otherwise leave me cold, is negated by the excellent acting of Michael Douglas, Elizabeth Ashley, and Ben Gazzara. The story was sufficiently spooky, but not so much that it would have given me nightmares as a child. Of course I learned at an early age to see the story through, so I could arrive at the explanation of what was actually going on, because, after all, there are no such things as ghosts, right?

Having watched the film, I know whether or not there was a ghost, but you don't, so you will just have to sit back, hit the play, and enjoy a really good film that will put you in the mood for autumn. 2020 has been a truly dreadful year so far, so it owes us all one. I am hoping that autumn, as it leads us into the last couple weeks of the year, will have gently corrected everything that has gone wrong, or caused pain. Perhaps I am pinning to much on autumn, but I think it's okay to embrace a little hope.

Now, go watch the movie, and if you feel like it,

 tell me what you think of it in the comments.

Enjoy

~Carly

Stockton, California

September 1st 2020

The Ethereal Past

"The ethereal past had blinded him, and the

 highest happiness he could dream was a return to it."

~E. M. Forester

Maurice

It's Monday. The first Monday in January, and the first Monday of the new year, and I feel like I have already lived a month of Monday's just since New Year's day, last Wednesday. History will document the events of this past week, in great detail, but I will touch lightly on it a bit, just for clarity, you see, we are probably standing on the precipice of World War III, and yes, it was indeed caused by, you guessed it, Donald John Trump! As if that comes as a surprise. The thing is, I don't know why I am not more scared than I am. Yes, low energy. No real desire to do anything. Not putting any planning into anything, including getting out of bed, or out with the camera, but mostly, I don't feel any particular need to cling to Alan, or sit in a corner and cry. I just feel like missiles could be flying over at any moment, and really, I don't particularly care if they are, or if it kills me!

I don't know if the anti-depressants are finally kicking in, I have only been taking them since the day James Comey was fired, back in 2017, or if I have finally matured in the fact that I can't do a single thing about my death, whether it happens in 50 years, or Thursday of this week, at 11:21PM. It's out of my hands if it comes by a nuclear missile hitting my pool, or I am attacked in my driveway by a band of rabid dogs. I can't control how, or when, I will die. But the thought that it might be Trump that causes it, still remains so insulting to me. Death, is a part of life. Period. But you also know that there are better ways than others to leave this world. Take, for example, that I have come to believe that one day, some beautiful autumn October afternoon, I will be standing in a big pile of beautiful leaves, and will be bitten by a gorgeous, highly poisonous spider, and die right on the spot. But if I did, at least I was enjoying beautiful autumn, the season that makes me feel most alive, when it happened. And oh the irony!

LOL.

But I don't want to go at the hand of that ignorant, stupid asshole. If I have to murdered, couldn't it be by someone with as much charm as Ted Bundy? Or the someone with the mildly attractive looks of Scott Peterson? Sigh. Nah, they aren't great choices either. Maybe if one is going to be murdered, it should be by the hand of a stranger. Yes. That does seem more interesting and exotic. Murdered by a stranger, and that's not even a bad title for a book either! Maybe I should write a book, or at least a short story to get my mind off things? Maybe if I stop thinking about nuclear annihilation, I can get back to crying over stupid shit, like Trump's presidency in general. Or maybe I can just let the feelings come, as they find their way to the front of my consciousnesses. Good plan!

Also, I am beginning a new category in my photography... "Mid-Century Style". I am beginning with the photograph above. I took it in November of 2019, near a cemetery I was doing some late autumn photos in. Our house was built in 1962, and has a really lovely mid-century style and vibe to it! Things from that era have been catching my eye for a long time, and so now that we live in the Central Valley, with all these lovely old buildings, it seems that this is the right time to take advantage of my location. And it's a good way to not give up on photography completely, while I struggle will the lack of will to enjoy what life I have left.

Do you remember the ethereal musician? I miss him. He would play his sax, and my mood would improve 100%! It was fine that I never found out who he was, he remains a magical mystery to this very day, but I sure do miss him... and his music. There were days when I was so sad that I didn't think I would ever smile again, and then suddenly, through the back door, in the middle of the day, came his music, and I would feel happy again. I am so nostalgic for those times. Me and Elvis and the ethereal musician, all sharing music and the little things that make life worth holding on to.  If I close my eyes, I can almost hear "You're a Friend Of Mine" being played on the saxophone, and feel Elvis's fuzzy paw pressing on my cheek, waking me up from our afternoon nap. He loved the music too. This memory has me so nostalgic for that peace of mind, if I close my eyes, I can almost touch it.

Sigh. I guess there is something to be said for living in the moment.

 

#PhotoByRequest "Final Resting Places" In Autumn

"Autumn colors remind us we are all one dancing in the wind."

~Lorin Morgan-Richards

This week's #PhotoByRequest subject is "Final Resting Places." I have collected quiet a few different photos of cemeteries over the years, but I want to expand it over this next year. Hopefully next vacation, next October, we will be able to get over to Colma, to the cemetery that Harold and Maude was filmed in, and perhaps the cemetery in Oakland that is the last resting peace of the Black Dahlia, Elizabeth Short. But for now, this post contains a few new, and some previously posted. And in one case, not a cemetery, but rather a small rock garden, in front of the home used in Mrs. Doubtfire, in San Francisco, at the base of a beautiful tree, kindly set aside for fans of Robin Williams, such as myself, to remember the man. He was cremated, so we can't visit his grave, so this little space allows us to say, hello and thank you, to a really great artist. Damn I miss him. I will always miss him, but I will also be forever grateful too. Sigh. And every now and again I visit that rock garden, and bring a couple army men, he liked army men. Anyway, on to the photos. 

The Autumn Leaf Of The Day

#60 Leaf Of The Day

November 21st 2019

Nevada City, California

Nikon

~Mood: Quiet

~Me