The Dead Lights

Tyler, watching the lights from the emergency service vehicles

April 17th, 2026

This post has been updated. See the article below.

"One gun has more power to take a life, than a hundred surgeons have to preserve it."

~Abhijit Naskar 

The Centurion Sermon: Mental Por El Mundo

Friday night in Stockton, California.

Yes, that beautiful glow that my cat, Tyler, is looking at, is indeed a whole neighborhood of police, fire and who knows what else, dealing with yet another shooting, at the same corner that it happened two times previously. Basically, those lights are right under my window. The first time was on September 9th, 2025, when a young man was shot dead, by police, while fleeing from them. He had several illegal weapons in the car with him, and he ran, and two officers opened fire on him. He was 19. Here is the bodycam footage, released by the Stockton Police Department, in October of 2025.   

WARNING: IT'S DISTURBING TO WATCH!

The next incident happened Thanksgiving weekend, when, several persons were killed, 2 under 21, and 2 under 10 years old, plus it left 13 others injured. It was a child's birthday party. All the children there, are now victims of gun violence. They were either injured, or they witnessed a murder. It was more than a tragedy. It was vile, and monstrous and deeply sad. It left me depressed for weeks. Later that evening, five suspects were arrested in the same place, as tonight's drama, and the night Rocco Robinson was shot, and, like I said, basically under my bedroom window. Recently, on April 2nd, there was an update about the birthday party murders, but I haven't heard anything about it since.

And then there was last night. I don't know anything about tonight's events. I will update when I can. Or maybe I won't. Honestly, I am a little depressed. We hear all kinds of sirens in this neighborhood, but just about a week ago, one night in the middle of the night we heard several shots, and it seemed they were nearby. The next night we heard loud machine gun fire, and it was definitely nearby. I was scared to death. I had just got my nerves under control, and now there are nine police cars, crime scene tape, and I expect the coroner will be here soon. 

Honestly, I am so tired. The most comforting feeling in the world is my cats sleeping on the bed with us. Morning kisses are the best. But not if doing so might put them in harms way! One day, someone is going to shoot a gun, and the bullet is going to hit something unintended. I hope it won't be us!

Read The CBS Article Here.

  

My prayers are with the family and friends of this young man.

Chaos At Event In Pennsylvania

 

“Those who wish to be feared seem to forget

 humanity's tendency to kill those they fear.” 

~Wayne Gerard Trotman 

 

I don't want Trump dead. I sure don't want to see innocent rally attendees dead. I want to see him live a very long life in a prison cell. 

 

But this violence is what our country has devolved into, because of a man preaching hate. This is what happens when that same man encourages and indeed rewards political violence. 

 

Did he deserve it? No! But it's not terribly surprising. And I wonder, now that he has been shot, will he rethink the availability of guns? A good guy with a gun, did not save him. A trained man with a gun saved him. I wonder if it will all finally sink in?

More later.

 

Posted To Truth Social This Evening

 

 

 

A Guns And Roses Update

 

“The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.” 

~G.K. Chesterton 

 

See My Previous Post, Guns And Roses

 

 

Okay, call it fate, or an Easter miracle, or even dumb luck, but the bad neighbor who likes to shoot guns at his girlfriend in the middle of the day, has moved. The occupants of the entire condo are now gone! As you can see, this is how they left things as they exited our little bit of paradise, which thrilled everybody to no end. Why did folks do this? They began packing up a LARGE U-Haul truck on Saturday, and it took a full day to create this mess, and finally take their leave. The shooting incident happened on March 22nd, or about 10 days earlier, so either they were kicked out over what happened, or they were hopelessly embarrassed, which I doubt, so what happened? I have been through my share of stressful moves, but damn I never pulled out a gun and pointed it at a loved one! Or even someone I just like! Ultimately it's none of my business, and I don't plan to think about it. They are gone, it's over. No need to think about it again. Now excuse me while I download my, Active Shooter Event Quick Reference Guide, from the FBI.

 

Six more days, and I wouldn't have been a statistic of gun violence. Thanks, guy, for the additional instance of PTSD.

Guns And Roses

 

"Hot Cocoa"rose from my garden.

Autumn 2012

 

“Your photography is a record of your living,

 for anyone who really sees.”

~Paul Strand

 

 

 

It's true, sometimes I take a photograph of a landscape or a beautiful bird, but it's more about how I feel while I use my camera. I always have an emotional connection to my subjects. Some of the photos that I have done, that I have received the most positive feedback on, have been when I have been in the depths of depression, and sometimes it's about fear. Please don't think that has been the emotions behind all of my photography, I am a happy and content person most of the time. I am getting older, and that means a symphony of physical pain, and limitations, but I do my best to accept it and move on. However, sometimes life just throws you in the middle of the, frankly, SHIT, and doesn't give you a choice on how you take it. My niece died in a traffic accident that was not her fault. To make it worse, it was a hit and run. Fuck! A short time later my nephew committed suicide.

 

 FUUUUUUUUCK!

 

Glock

 

And if that wasn't enough to fuck me up, yesterday I thought I was going to die. We were out doing errands for a while, and when we returned home a car was parked in the middle of the alleyway where we park our Mini Cooper. We couldn't get around him without driving over the grass and around to sewage equipment. Suddenly a man got out of his car with a gun, and fired about 4 shots toward his girlfriend's apartment. She was yelling back at him in anger, for shooting his gun towards the apartment where her young children were! Oh Shit! Was he going to shoot us for being witnesses? Were we going to be the latest statistic of rampant gun violence? Was the young woman he was shooting toward be a victim of domestic violence? I was terrified! I decided that if he was going to shoot me, I hoped he would shoot to kill, because I didn't want to be in pain and still be alive. That would be a hell of a FUCK YOU from fate, wouldn't it? Just get it over with! You think about a lot of things when you think your death is imminent. 

 

Who will take care of my cats?

 Will it hurt?

 Or will I just be gone?

Did I put on clean underwear?

Guns don't sound the same as they do on TV and in movies!

 

The my brain turned to...

White car, sedan 4 doors, Honda 

4 shots... I think

Young black man

mid 30's

White clothing

We drove around him as best we could, parked, and went into our condo. I called the police. I gave them all the information I could. I was embarrassed by how much I had forgot between the car and when I went inside. I guess I am not the best witness, but FUUUUUUUUUK he had a gun! It looked like a Glock22 semi-automatic but I don't know anything about guns, it's a guess based on the limited research I have done in the last 24 hours. Isn't it strange that something so scary is so exotic. I think I am going to do more research on the instrument of death to both make me feel less frightened next time and better educated. I need to do better next time, and believe me, I know there will be a next time.  I should have began this paragraph with telling you that I am okay, but a little fucked up this weekend. I was diagnosed with PTSD a few months ago, just after my family died. I have lots of incidents in my past that have caught up to me in my old age. I am getting treatment, but it's a long road, and who knows, I may not ever recover. But I am trying. 

 

Now, what's up with the roses? Well, the errand I was on yesterday was to buy some new roses for my garden. I found a lovely "Peace" rose and to my, absolute delight, I found a "Hot Cocoa" rose! I LOVE that rose! I had one when I lived in the Bay Area, and it was an absolute delight! It was the favorite of all my roses, and I had to leave it behind when I moved. Once we settled in Stockton, I looked and looked at every garden center I could, with absolutely no luck at all, so I gave up. But yesterday, there it was! What a happy turn of events! I will have that beautiful rose growing in my garden once again. Something to help me heal, and then that gun incident had to happen, because everybody has a gun. Will my mind attach that incident to my roses? Will I think of it every time I see a new rose grow on the stem? That remains to be seen, but right now it's hard to think about. The human brain manifests fear strangely... and sometimes it's just lets the negativity go, and it gets filed away. And, of course, that's for the best.

So, it was a guns and roses kind of day. Like the name of the band. Funny thing, I can't remember a single song by them, but I did a little looking around on YouTube and found this song, which I kinda like. I wasn't into Heavy Metal rock, so I passed it all by, but now I think I will have to listen to more of their stuff. Discovering new things, making new memories helps erase the stuff you don't want to think about. Like suicide. Like murder. It should be more music, less murder. More roses, less guns. More healing, less scars. Even if life has other plans. I am trying, I really am.

 

 Anyway, this is a nice song, and I hope you enjoy it.

"November"

By Guns And Roses

I witnessed gun violence yesterday.

 Next time I will try to capture the turn of fate with my camera.

 I guess it was my new experience for March. On to April.

End Of Discussion... AGAIN.

 

“Speaking personally, you can have my gun, but you'll take my book when you pry my cold, dead fingers off of the binding.” 

~Stephen King 

 

Once again, Stephen King makes the most poignant of points.

 

Another mass shooting. 

 

Do I have to say it again?

 

Stricter gun laws must be put in place! No one takes an assault rifle hunting. No one has a "God given right" to own a gun. Open carry is stupid! Do you really need a gun to buy a can of peaches at Walmart? Why can't there be mandatory courses for gun ownership and use? Assault weapons need to be banned... END OF DISCUSSION! Stricter laws for misuse of a gun need to be put in place! Misuse of a gun should mean a mandatory sentence of 50 years only if the victim is injured, if a death is involved life in prison with no possibility of parole. If a gun is not stored properly, you lose your gun for life. If your child takes your gun, and uses it with or without your permission, you get a mandatory sentence of 10 years above and beyond any other charges. 

 

Most voters are ready to move forward with common sense laws regarding guns, but our politicians love the support ($$$$) they receive from the gun lobby more than the will and support of their constituents. A good sign, that perhaps means there is a small movement toward something positive, the NRA has seen a steep decline in membership in recent years. I am not sure if it is due to the virus of gun violence, or if it is because the former CEO of the NRA is a giant crook!

I am done with this post. Currently at least 20 were shot in Kansas City this morning, and 1 death. I am sure that will change, it always does. All these folks were doing was celebrating the amazing historic Super Bowl win of the Kansas City Chiefs. It should have been a fun day. The schools were given a celebratory day off to have fun with it. It was something to be happy about! I know if the San Francisco 49ers had won, I would have been filled with all kinds of pride. I may have even tried to talk dear hubby into going to whatever celebrations being held.

 

 

I have nothing more to say on the subject.

 My heart goes out to all touched by this stupid gun epidemic. 

Sporting events. Schools. Churches. Grocery Stores. Parades.

Where will it happen next? And will you are I be there?

 

Oh and by the way, it is also Valentine's Day, so there's that!

 

Late On A February Night... The Mystery Of Tammy Meyers

Grant Ranch Park, Mt Hamilton Road

San Jose, California 

"It is better to risk saving a guilty person

 than to condemn an innocent one."

~Voltaire

   Zadig

A couple weeks ago, on February 12th, a tragedy occurred. A wife, mother, friend, neighbor, was shot dead, in her own driveway, after what was first reported as a case of road rage. The country, no the world, was shocked and sickened by the thought of someone losing control so thoroughly as that driver must have been, to pull out a gun, and shoot a stranger, in their own driveway. It was, however, an easy scenario to believe. Road rage is a scary thing, and it goes on all around us, in every American community, in small towns and in large metropolitan areas. Anger is on the rise, and the ability to deal with that anger in an appropriate manner is declining. It seems our coping mechanisms have seemingly dwindled. Too much bad information, a rise in terrorism, joblessness, acts of violence against unarmed children by the very people who should be protecting them... you name it, stress is not hard to come by. So road rage seems to be the result of the snapping of our last nerve. The incredible stress we all live under is the reason, but there is NO excuse for the dangerous behavior of road rage, and this case of road rage it was especially terrifying! An angry driver followed a woman home, and killed her, in the driveway of her own home! But it seems that there was a lot more to the story, and things aren't always what they seem to be.

A Basic Example Of Early Reports

Timeline Of Events

Feb 12th, 2015

*Tammy Meyer's takes her daughter out for a session of driver's training. It was late in the evening, and the daughter had NO learner's permit. The lesson is said to have taken place on private property at a nearby school.

*When they finished, Tammy got into the driver's seat and her daughter moved to the passenger side.

As they pulled out into traffic, a speeding car pulled up very close on their bumper, and then pulled alongside their car. That's when the daughter reached over and honked the horn at the car.

*At that point the driver of the aggressive car managed to close the Meyer's car off and a verbal altercation began when the driver of the other car got out and yelled something to the effect of... "I'll get you and your daughter."

*The Meyers daughter says that the man who got out of the car was 6 feet tall, 180lbs, mid 20's, with spiky blond hair. And that he threatened them saying, "I'm going to get you and your daughter." She says he knew she was Mrs. Meyers daughter, because she kept repeating "Mommy, Mommy."

*Meyers and daughter turned their car around, and drove home directly, where she told her daughter to go into the house, and send out her son, who was in legal possession of a handgun..

*At this point, the other car finds them, at their home, and someone in the car opens fire on Mrs. Meyers and her son, hitting the mother in the head. The son returns fire, as the car flees the scene.

*On February 14th, Tammy Meyers is taken off life support by her husband Robert Meyers.

*February 15th. A GoFundMe account is set up for the Meyers family to help with funeral expenses.

*February 16th. Mr. Meyers offers his fully restored Camero as a reward to anyone who can help find the killers of his wife.

*February 17th. Police release a statement that paints a different story then was initially told.

*February 17th. The GoFundMe account is taken down, due to overwhelming backlash over the changing account of events.

5 days after the initial altercation there is an updated account of the Events...

On February 20th Channel 8 News, 

in Las Vegas, 

 prepared an interactive timeline of events.

And the story has changed again since that timeline was prepared.

Updated Timeline Of Events

February 24th 2014

Examiner Online

I haven't checked today, to see if there is still another change in the story, I can't imagine what more could be changed at this point, but somehow it wouldn't surprise me too much to find out something else has changed. Here is what I do know. Tammy Meyers died a senseless death. A young man is in jail and the district attorney is pushing for the maximum charges, and all that the punishment carries. It's possible this young man could be given the death penalty if convicted of what he is being charged with. Tammy Meyers isn't alive to defend herself, and her family is doing her no favors by being caught in lie after lie. I don't remember a case where the victim's family has been caught in as many lies and half-truths as the Meyers family!

I haven't believed one word that Mr. Meyers has said from day one. So what really happened? Why, if Tammy Meyers was an innocent victim, did her son and daughter lie? I can't figure out why they would lie? As for Mr. Meyers, he says his wife knew her assailant, if so, why not just call the police? All the time she supposedly mentored him, did Mr. Meyers also try to help that kid? Or did he just sit by while his wife met with the young man in a seedy neighborhood park, gave him money, and supposedly tried to encourage him. What kind of husband does that? I know Alan wouldn't let me do something like that alone. It doesn't make sense.

If Mr. Meyers is willing to lie about any detail of this case,

 what else is he willing to lie about?

Right now, I believe Erich Nowsch should be found

 NOT GUILTY if this case goes to trial,

 but frankly, he should be released from custody long before that.

Any way you see it, this is just one more American tragedy.

Mood: Quiet

~Me

It Feels Like A New Day

"National parks and reserves are an integral aspect of intelligent use of natural resources. It is the course of wisdom to set aside an ample portion of our natural resources as national parks and reserves, thus ensuring that future generations may know the majesty of the earth as we know it today."

~John F. Kennedy
World Conference On National Parks (June 23 1962)

I was born six days after John F. Kennedy spoke those words. I wish public parks were as important today as they were in 1962. For that matter, I wish there wasn't such a drive to continue to invade and impose into our places of natural beauty for any reason, let alone for the greedy reasons that we tend to hear about most often... drill baby drill.

California has some magnificent parks. From the great big ones where one could get lost for days, to the small ones like this one, Greenridge Park, but more and more they are taking a financial hit, and it came very close to the permanent closure of many California parks after Governor Schwarzenegger's his term in office. Thank goodness, Governor Brown was able to take steps to fund most of the parks, at least in the short term, but there is still a lot to be concerned about. But with a surplus in the budget that California is currently enjoying, there is a lot of possibilities.

Sometimes things work out so strange. I was hoping President Obama would be more proactive with the environment, but he hasn't done much in regards to conservation. And I thought we had a champion in Al Gore, but I don't think I really know what his values are anymore. If I ever really did. I guess some things aren't always what they seem to be, but it really hurts all the same when someone you thought you could count on becomes someone you don't recognize.

When all is said and done, I voted for President Obama, and I wouldn't change my mind for anything. I think I have grown to appreciate the man for his ability to try and now his ability to know when to stop trying. The bible says even God stops knocking at some point. In retrospect, I think the frustration I would feel over President Obama's over reaching in his efforts to reach bipartisan conclusions, forced me to put a little more thought into what I really hold important. Perhaps in the next four years President Obama will do more about protecting the environment, so when I am finally at the age that all I can do is sit on a park bench and feed the birds, there will be a park bench to sit on.

Hope... it does a body good!

It's a strange feeling as I sit here writing this. President Obama was sworn in yesterday, officially, and today he is sworn in again for all to see. In some ways it feels like he is beginning his first term, and not his second. He has shown a lot of strength since the shooting in Connecticut. And a lot of courage to. I know that if the republicans, and the NRA wanted to be a part of a positive change in how we go forward concerning gun ownership, he would have been happy to have their input. Unfortunately, the NRA only wants their way or no way. And they don't care who they threaten. But President Obama didn't cower in fear, instead his is walking into the future and allowing his conscience to be his guide.

Thank You SO Much Mr. President!

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

Sarah Palin once asked... "So, hows that hopey, changey stuff workin' out for you?"

Well, 1/2 term Governor Palin... Pretty DAMN WELL! Oh and by the way, the British didn't want to take our arms, they didn't want us to begin our own nation. Sheesh. And shes allowed to pretend she knows how to sue a gun.



~Happiness :)

~Me

The Acts Of COWARDS!

Sarah Palin removed this graphic from her website today, after the tragic shooting of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (D - AZ) at a Safeway store in Tucson Arizona. I am here to tell you, I won't be forgetting this act of terrorism, which was not only encouraged, but suggested by Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin, and those who suggest violence against others, have NO PLACE IN SOCIETY! She needs to be held LEGALLY accountable for this!

Consider joining me in asking our leaders to declare SARAHPAC a terrorist organization!

-Carly