Guns And Roses

 

"Hot Cocoa"rose from my garden.

Autumn 2012

 

“Your photography is a record of your living,

 for anyone who really sees.”

~Paul Strand

 

 

 

It's true, sometimes I take a photograph of a landscape or a beautiful bird, but it's more about how I feel while I use my camera. I always have an emotional connection to my subjects. Some of the photos that I have done, that I have received the most positive feedback on, have been when I have been in the depths of depression, and sometimes it's about fear. Please don't think that has been the emotions behind all of my photography, I am a happy and content person most of the time. I am getting older, and that means a symphony of physical pain, and limitations, but I do my best to accept it and move on. However, sometimes life just throws you in the middle of the, frankly, SHIT, and doesn't give you a choice on how you take it. My niece died in a traffic accident that was not her fault. To make it worse, it was a hit and run. Fuck! A short time later my nephew committed suicide.

 

 FUUUUUUUUCK!

 

Glock

 

And if that wasn't enough to fuck me up, yesterday I thought I was going to die. We were out doing errands for a while, and when we returned home a car was parked in the middle of the alleyway where we park our Mini Cooper. We couldn't get around him without driving over the grass and around to sewage equipment. Suddenly a man got out of his car with a gun, and fired about 4 shots toward his girlfriend's apartment. She was yelling back at him in anger, for shooting his gun towards the apartment where her young children were! Oh Shit! Was he going to shoot us for being witnesses? Were we going to be the latest statistic of rampant gun violence? Was the young woman he was shooting toward be a victim of domestic violence? I was terrified! I decided that if he was going to shoot me, I hoped he would shoot to kill, because I didn't want to be in pain and still be alive. That would be a hell of a FUCK YOU from fate, wouldn't it? Just get it over with! You think about a lot of things when you think your death is imminent. 

 

Who will take care of my cats?

 Will it hurt?

 Or will I just be gone?

Did I put on clean underwear?

Guns don't sound the same as they do on TV and in movies!

 

The my brain turned to...

White car, sedan 4 doors, Honda 

4 shots... I think

Young black man

mid 30's

White clothing

We drove around him as best we could, parked, and went into our condo. I called the police. I gave them all the information I could. I was embarrassed by how much I had forgot between the car and when I went inside. I guess I am not the best witness, but FUUUUUUUUUK he had a gun! It looked like a Glock22 semi-automatic but I don't know anything about guns, it's a guess based on the limited research I have done in the last 24 hours. Isn't it strange that something so scary is so exotic. I think I am going to do more research on the instrument of death to both make me feel less frightened next time and better educated. I need to do better next time, and believe me, I know there will be a next time.  I should have began this paragraph with telling you that I am okay, but a little fucked up this weekend. I was diagnosed with PTSD a few months ago, just after my family died. I have lots of incidents in my past that have caught up to me in my old age. I am getting treatment, but it's a long road, and who knows, I may not ever recover. But I am trying. 

 

Now, what's up with the roses? Well, the errand I was on yesterday was to buy some new roses for my garden. I found a lovely "Peace" rose and to my, absolute delight, I found a "Hot Cocoa" rose! I LOVE that rose! I had one when I lived in the Bay Area, and it was an absolute delight! It was the favorite of all my roses, and I had to leave it behind when I moved. Once we settled in Stockton, I looked and looked at every garden center I could, with absolutely no luck at all, so I gave up. But yesterday, there it was! What a happy turn of events! I will have that beautiful rose growing in my garden once again. Something to help me heal, and then that gun incident had to happen, because everybody has a gun. Will my mind attach that incident to my roses? Will I think of it every time I see a new rose grow on the stem? That remains to be seen, but right now it's hard to think about. The human brain manifests fear strangely... and sometimes it's just lets the negativity go, and it gets filed away. And, of course, that's for the best.

So, it was a guns and roses kind of day. Like the name of the band. Funny thing, I can't remember a single song by them, but I did a little looking around on YouTube and found this song, which I kinda like. I wasn't into Heavy Metal rock, so I passed it all by, but now I think I will have to listen to more of their stuff. Discovering new things, making new memories helps erase the stuff you don't want to think about. Like suicide. Like murder. It should be more music, less murder. More roses, less guns. More healing, less scars. Even if life has other plans. I am trying, I really am.

 

 Anyway, this is a nice song, and I hope you enjoy it.

"November"

By Guns And Roses

I witnessed gun violence yesterday.

 Next time I will try to capture the turn of fate with my camera.

 I guess it was my new experience for March. On to April.

Autumn Leaf Of The Day #89

 

“I am captivated by the beautiful colors of Fall,
Show me,show me, Show me All!
Orange, yellow, purple, reddish-brown,
And the rustling of the leaves as they fall to the ground.” 

~Charmaine J. Forde 

 

Purple is a color of Autumn. In fact, it might just be my favorite color of Autumn. If I could, I would surround my condo with trees that explode with color in Autumn, and at least every other one would display some kind of purple color. I have yellow roses on my porch, and this last summer I added a pot of French lavender. They look very nice together. Perhaps next spring I will add another plant like a Pumpkin Patch rose or maybe a purple Hydrangea. It makes me really happy to think about it. Adding a little extra beauty around me is a healthy step forward. And hopefully it will make others smile as well! Maybe I will look for plants and container shrubs that show their color all year. He... that's a GRAND IDEA!

Morris Chapel

"'Truly, Autumn is my season," the scarlet breast chortled. "Spring and Summer and Winter all begin with such late letters! But Autumn and Fall, I have loved best, because they are best to love.'"

~Catherynne M. Valentine

The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland

 In A Ship Of Her Own Making 

As I mentioned in a previous post, I visited the ground of the University of the Pacific this past weekend, and was treated to some amazingly beautiful architecture. All the buildings are unique in their own way, but this beautiful chapel is definitely at the top of my list! There were no buildings I didn't enjoy, and to be honest I would be hard pressed to chose just one, but this one comes close to being a favorite. It has an amazing vibe in person, my photos don't do it justice at all! Morris Chapel, I think I will dropping by to photography you a lot more often!

#47 Leaf Of The Day

November 8th 2019

Cull Canyon

LG Stylo 5

~Mood: Happy

~Me  :)

Roses That Sing

"Maybe there's a whole other universe where a square moon rises in the sky, and the stars laugh in cold voices, and some of the triangles have four sides, and some have five, and some have five raised to the fifth power of sides. In this universe there might grow roses which sing. Everything leads to everything."

~Stephen King

"IT"

Alan bought us some roses for Christmas! They weren't just for me, they were for Hendrix too! Hendrix has always loved the taste of roses, and in fact, cries for them if he sees them anywhere in his line of sight! It all started one day, when we were living in the cottage in Berkeley. I had a rose garden, surrounding a Japanese Maple tree. There were roses of every color! Of all of the different kinds, I think my favorites were the white ones, followed closely by the Hot Cocoa roses. As it turns out, the white ones were his favorite too, because one day he decided to take a big bite... CHOMP... of the prettiest white rose in the garden! He ate those petals with such glee, that it was hard not to laugh, even though I had spent the better part of a year, caring and shaping them!

 I checked with several online sources to see if he was in any danger from that big bite he took, and as it turned out, roses are not one of the flowers that are fatal to cats. That was a huge relief! So, from time to time, we buy him some roses, and let them dry slightly, so he gets to eat them like potato chips. Taking that big bite was all it took, for him to form a lifetime taste for rose petals, which he now eats like potato chips! He only gets 3 petals every few days, as I can't go out and buy them as often as I would like to, but watching my little cat enjoy them over Christmas, has inspired me to put more thought into getting him a rose bush this spring!

He loves them so much, that's not a lot to ask for, considering how well he takes care of us! I only use organic soil and plant food, so he never gets exposed to anything that might harm him. I don't know for sure what type of rose I might get, perhaps I will try a new one, but my goodness, I sure do miss the Hot Cocoa roses, and truth be told, I miss all the varieties that I had in my garden. But there was a pumpkin colored rose that I had always wanted, but could never find, maybe this is the year to search for it! Regardless, I know my little boy will be happy with any rose I choose!

From The Archives

My Rose Garden

Apricot Nectar

Hot Cocoa

 Mood: Happy

~Me :)

Yellow Daylily In Early Morning

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"When you only have two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other."

~Chinese Proverb

I am really appreciating the flowers this spring. Nothing improves my mood quite like photographing a really beautiful flower. The last few weeks Daylilies (Hemerocallis) have been catching my photographer's eye. They are so alive and vibrant! I wish I could have some in the yard, but they are highly toxic to cats, and I will feel awful if one of the neighborhood vagabonds was accidentally hurt by one. So, I admire the flowers elsewhere! Maybe some day I will have one of the amazing outdoor greenhouses where I can grow all the things I wish I could now. It's a good dream I think.

Mood: Quiet

~Me :)

 

My Rose Garden Update June 17th 2013

"I believe in roses. And I believe in putting roses into a vase and sitting the vase on the table. I believe in getting lost and being found, I believe in going barefoot, and in laughter! My religion is to laugh at myself whenever I can! I believe in the sunlight and in grey skies with big, beautiful clouds!"

~C. JoyBell C.

To my delight, my rose garden has burst with color. It's ready to take on summer in a few days, as are the plum tree and the pear tree! The garden is also showing the first of the Heirloom tomatoes! I have something special planned for them!

Stay Tuned!











Mood: Happy

~Me :)

Round Robin Challenge: Before And After

"Think about the photo before and after, never during. The secret is to take your time. You mustn't go too fast. The subject must forget about you. Then, however, you must be very quick."

~Henri Cartier-Bresson

RRC: Before and After

See that cutie above? That's my Dylan. You might say... we picked each other out. LOL. The day we met, he was sad, having just been left behind when his mother was hit by a car, and I was sad to, having just lost my cat Elvis just a few weeks earlier. I think we connected through our shared grief. Elvis was the last kitten in his mother's litter, so when she died he needed to know he wasn't alone, he needed a mother, and I needed a little boy who needed me. It's love. We are family.

But Before Dylan... Came Hendrix...


He is my boy to, but he and Alan bonded first. Alan is his person. But when he needs a mommy, he comes to me. LOL. They are my two boys! :)

Now, here are the rest of my Before And After subjects...

A Beautiful Butterfly


Potatoes Ready For Planting And The Leaves A Few Weeks Later


Fireworks From 2005...


Dahlias From The Golden Gate Park Dahlia Garden 2012


Okay, that's my contribution for this round. Be sure to go see what everyone else has posted for this challenge! We have some wonderful photographers who participate in the Round Robin Challenges! Just click the link at the top of this post to be redirected to the official Round Robin blog, where you can find the list of participants, and all the information you need to play along!

~Me :)

Round Robin Photo Challenge: Gardens

"A garden to walk in and immensity to dream in... what more could he ask? A few flowers at his feet and above him the stars."

~Victor Hugo, Les Miserables

RRC: Gardens

I had a difficult time deciding whether I wanted to feature flowers, or vegetables for this Round Robin Challenge. I thought about visiting one of the many community gardens in the Bay Area to feature the lovely way they dress up a neighborhood, but in the end I decided to do a round up of some of the prettiest flower gardens I have been to in my travels with my digital cameras over the last 10 years.

Enjoy! :)

Let's begin with the photo featured at the top of the post!

Pastorino's, Half Moon Bay, California


Mission Santa Barbara, Santa Barbara, California


Conservatory Of Flowers, Golden Gate Park, San Francisco, California


Queen Wilhelmina Tulip Garden, Golden Gate Park, San Francisco, California


Japanese Tea Garden, Golden Gate Park, San Francisco, California


Capitol Rose Garden, Sacramento, California


A Lovely Balcony Garden, 20th st. San Francisco, California


The Brazilian Room Garden, Tilden Park, Berkeley, California


Now that you have seen my gardens, please be sure to visit the other Round Robin participants. Please click the Link at the top of this post to be redirected to the official Round Robin blog. :)

Mood: Creative/Happy

~Me :)