Lake Tahoe On A November Afternoon

"The river this November afternoon

Rests in an equipoise of sun and cloud:

A glooming light, a gleaming darkness shroud

It's passage. All seems tranquil, all the time."

~Cecil Day-Lewis

The Complete Poems Of C. Day Lewis

As I write this post, I am absolutely exhausted! Alan and I took a long drive to Lake Tahoe, and Carson City, Nevada on Monday, and I didn't have my pain medication with me, so I had to work extra hard to get some decent photographs, but I think I did okay. I was happy, for the most part! I will be sharing them as the week goes by. 

Most of the leaves are gone now, at least in the Sierra and Nevada, but Sacramento seems to be making a beautiful mess, so I will also be spending some time there, and perhaps even some time in Napa and Marin, and Sonoma Counties, where you can find touches of autumn, late into the year. It's all up to Mother Nature, but I feel good about the possibilities!

We'll See! 

#7 Leaf Of The Day

November 7th, 2017

Carson City, Nevada

 Mood: Tired/Happy

~Me :)

 

In November... Sticks And Bones

 "In November, the trees are standing all sticks and bones. Without their leaves, how lovely they are, spreading their arms like dancers. They know it is time to be still."

~Cynthia Rylant

In November

I'm quiet tonight. History will record why, but I will share anyway. Another shooting in America. The loss of life is staggering, as it always is. Still, nothing is being done about gun control, banning the sale of assault weapons, bump stocks. No new funding for psychological help for veterans, in fact under the Trump budget funding for veterans will be cut. And I don't imagine tomorrow, or the next day, things will be any different. Nothing will change in the near future that will make any real difference to make us safer! But, at some point in America's future, it will take something truly unspeakable, something so horrific that I, thankfully, can't begin to imagine, will take have to take place, we will grieve deeply, yet again, but we will learn from it, and change.

I hope.

I dream. 

I wish. 

And yes, I pray.

All I want to do is love my husband forever. Photograph Autumn leaves, drink big mugs of hot chocolate, go to movies, watch old black and white spooky movies on tv, eat a mug of warm tomato soup, pet my cats, nap under my favorite cold weather throw, and put on my favorite sweaters, without worrying about being shot to death in the middle of an average day.

That's all I want.

"You may say I'm a dreamer,

But I'm not the only one.

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will live as one."

~John Lennon

"Imagine"

#6 Leaf Of The Day

November 6th, 2017

Knight's Ferry, California

Mood: Sad

~Me

Dark Horses

"A frightening possibility occured to him: maybe sometimes things didn't just go wrong and then stop; maybe sometimes they just kept going wronger and wronger until everything was totally fucked."

~Stephen King

"IT"

Last week, while we were in Quincy, enjoying the incredible beauty of the leaves, and sheer quaintness of the small town in Plumas County, in the middle of the stunning beauty, suddenly more than one thing stuck out to me as being quite ominous. The dark horse on their street lights, and the movie playing at what seemed to be their only movie theater, Stephen King's "IT." 

In past years, I found the street lights, of Quincy, kind of charming, but this year there was a certain feeling down in my bones, something feeding my fears and dread so deep, that I was thankful for the darkness, and loss of light to photograph the leaves we drove three hours to see. Last week, Quincy had a different feel. It was less quaint, and definitely more Derry, Maine, the town that Pennywise terrorized every 30 years.

Please don't get me wrong, the people of Quincy are quite lovely! They depend a great deal on leaf peepers and avid shutterbugs, such as myself, for a good deal of their tourist income. No, it was something in me, not them or really even the town. I don't know what to call it. Fear. Dread. Maybe even my good old friend depression, but something inside of me felt a cold chill when I looked at that horse, and then noticed through it, that IT would be playing all weekend.

I have been feeling those very feelings since before last year's election, with brief moments of respite, but I felt the same feelings again on Friday when I read about Donna Brazile's book regarding Hillary Clinton having rigged the primary against Bernie Sanders. And then when it was given validity by Elizabeth Warren, someone who I had considered a hero, but now I no longer feel I can trust. A Brazile's book has been widely debunked over this weekend, but I fear that some damage has been to the chances of two upcoming gubernatorial elections taking place next Tuesday in Virginia and New Jersey. 

How much darker will this country grow? Who are the good guys? Who are the bad guys? And how much longer until we find out who and what Pennywise actually is? Most of the time, I think of Donald Trump as Pennywise, because of his strong penchant for fear mongering. I know I now live in constant fear that the west coast will be wiped off the map, in the middle of the night by a nuclear missile from North Korea, but maybe Donald Trump isn't Putin's end game. Maybe it' something so unspeakable, I don't want to even speculate here, be carry around in my own conscienceness, and that I try to put out of my head whenever it yells... BEEP BEEP CARLY!

I don't know. 

God, how I wish I did.

One thing I do know, Donald Trump blocked Stephen King on Twitter some months back, so for now I know he is who I will listen to about defeating the fear, so that it's possible to defeat the clown. Alan and I are going next week to see the reboot of IT and maybe I will pick up some new tips, or maybe it's still the 1990 version, which was a pure masterpiece, that still holds the key of standing up to what scares us the most. I guess I will find out!

Quincy Scrapbook

October 28th, 2017

 #5 Leaf Of The Day

November 5th, 2017

Quincy, California

Mood:Weary

~Me

Autumn Dwellings

Knight's Ferry, California

October 26th, 2017

"NOVEMBER, Noun, The Eleventh Twelfth Of A Weariness."

~Ambrose Bierce

Devil's Dictionary

I am beginning to not hate spider webs, as long as they aren't on me, or too close by. This one was a few feet from me, on the day I photographed it, and it had a beautiful appeal to it, with it's jewel and earth tones, shining with the warm autumn sun resting on it, but it was quite large, therefore I was reluctant to get too close to it. I was sad about that, because in a creative way I would have appreciated seeing the spider, or spiders, that worked so hard on it! It was clearly old in parts but there was also what appeared to be brand new silk, I think this had been a multi-family dwelling. It was decorated nicely, in most of the colors I gravitate to this time of year, so whoever lived there, they clearly have a talent for decorating!

 

I enlarged the photo somewhat, and did some sharpening, and finally spotted one tiny occupant of this autumn house.

 Do you see the spider?

#4 Leaf Of The Day

October 28th, 2017

Quincy, California

  

Mood: Creative

~Me :)

 

The Darkness Comes

Autumnal

Pale amber sunlight falls across

the reddening October trees, that

hardly sway before a breeze as soft as summer;

summers loss seems little, dear! On days like these.

Let misty autumn be our part!

The twilight of the year is sweet:

Where shadow and darkness meet

Our love, a twilight of the heart

Eludes a little time's deceit.

Are we not better and at home

In dreamful Autumn, we who dream

No harvest joy is worth a dream?

A little while and night shall come,

A little while, then, let us dream.

Beyond the pearled horizons lie

Winter and night: awaiting these

We garner this poor hour of ease, 

Until love turn from us and die

beneath the drear November trees."

By

Ernest Dowson

The Poems And Prose Of Ernest Dowson

I am in a dark mood. The whole world feels upside down. Politics on an average year can be challenging to process, and almost expected, but as we approach the one year mark of the 2016 election I feel tired, scared, and sometimes it's like I am not really alive. It's so surreal to learn of the first criminal charges of the Trump administration, in what will probably end up being the first true case of treason by an American president in our history. Shrug. Who knows? I know the fall of an American presidency is nothing to cheer about, but when this mess does fall, I hope it will be a relief and not just the beginning of an even more terrifying time. 

And then there is the fall of man. No, not that fall. And I am not referring to us being in the middle of autumn, no I am talking about the almost daily revelation that celebrities. Journalists, Bloggers and all across professional spectrum exists a culture of rape and sexual assault, that I had NO idea existed. I thought for years, that I was mostly alone in the darkness in all that's happened to me, throughout my life, but no, quite to the contrary... I am far from alone. And that is just one more thing, in an already terrifying world I find myself in that is so disappointing and surreal, that I am finding it difficult to be anything but depressed most of the time.

I miss truly boring days.

I miss truly average days.

I miss my life making sense.

I miss... me.

This autumn feels like a deeper death. 

A death of not just another year, but a death of life as we knew it.

American normalcy.

American values.

Or maybe the myth.

But tomorrow, I will be out again with my camera, in hopes of holding onto the last of what makes me feel alive. Clinging to the colors, of the death of another year, which in the past, brought hope for a new beginning, but now only serves as a chilling reminder that sometimes death is forever. Sometimes things don't come back. Sometimes there is no natural corrective. And the wind and rain and snow coming into Northern California beginning tomorrow only puts a deeper chill to the whole feeling of the surreal existence of truth. 

#3 Leaf Of The Day

October 3rd, 2017

Little Farm

Berkeley, California 

Mood: Sad

~Me 

November Crows And Foxes

"November crows are approaching...

 wounded leaves fall to the ground."

~Sir Kristian Goldmund Aumann 

We have been in our house a little over a year, and we are finally getting around to adding some scarecrows for our harvest season decorations! We had a lot of scarecrows at our old place in Berkeley, and we had them for a long time... so long in fact... that one year I used some black and white photography to turn them into zombie scarecrows! They were old and falling apart, but I just couldn't resist the chance to get one last bit of fun out of them! We had a good laugh, and they looked awesome on some home security video swaying back and forth in the wind a few days before Halloween.That year, the must watch spooky video was not 

Night Of The Living Dead

It was...

Night Of The Living Dead Scarecrows 

It will be a few years before the sequel can be shot, but I am already planning the script, and the music. I have already hired the actors, they are definitely under contract!

;)

#2 Leaf Of The Day

November 2nd 2017

Stockton, California 

Mood: Happy

~Me :) 

The Day After Halloween

"There is October in every November and there is November in ever December! All seasons melted in each other's life."

~Mehmet Murat ildan

November is here. My favorite month, October, has gone to sleep for another year, and I miss it already! But it will be back in less than a year, so I have it to look forward to, so I am okay about that, but when October left, it also took the first part of Autumn with it. Yes, my favorite season is officially half over, and there is only about 6 weeks left to enjoy gathering leaves for my Autumn Leaf Project, and appreciate the slant of light that only shines during this time of year, and the slight chill in the air, on bright sunny days! While I love the colder weather, there is just something perfect about a bright sunny day, with just enough cool in it, to enjoy the warmth of my favorite sweater, and my favorite warm throw. 

I bet you've guessed by now, that I live for this time of year, and it is really the only time I feel alive! It's like the earth has a smile on it's face, as it drifts off into a waking dream state for a year that we will never see again. I was so happy when 2016 finally died, I never want to see another year like it. So many artists passed away, and the 2016 election was... well... nothing short of devastating, but that is all in the past, and in a couple months we will move on to another year, and who knows what that will bring? I have decided to not deal with it right now. I choose to focus on one day at a time, and find beauty wherever it is. Whimsy too. Do I sound optimistic yet? 

The Whimsy Of Halloween 2017

 Punky 2017

Punky Enjoying Dinner Before Duty

 Punky On Duty Scaring Goblins Away!

The Candy 2017

The Beauty Of The Last Week Of October 2017

#1 Leaf Of The Day

November 1st 2017

Quincy, California

Mood: Happy
~Me :)  

Happy Halloween!

"I was born on the night of Samhaim, when the barrier between the worlds is whisper thing and when magic, old magic, sings its heady and sweet song to anyone who cares to hear it."

~Carolyn MacCullough

Once A Witch

I wasn't born on the night of Samhaim, I was born on June 29th, on a rather dull, hot day, in early summer. A nothing special day. But I have always wished that October 31st had been my birthday, as it is my favorite day of the year! Free candy. The possibility of seeing a ghost, and a day when it's okay to admit that sometimes I dream about events that haven't happened yet. Or know things about people that I have just met, without them telling me! Or sometimes I know that the phone is about to ring, and sometimes I dream about the future... and sometimes those dreams are eerily accurate! Like earlier this year, when I dreamt about being surrounded by pheasants, and later that evening a pheasant appeared in our backyard. It stuck around in the yard, for about 3 days later. But on the third day, when I went looking for my new friend, it was gone, and I haven't seen it since!

I shrug it off, because all the women in my family have these flashes of insight. It was passed down to at least three generations! My husband, Alan, has come to enjoy it when it happens, he always says I should try for the California Lottery numbers, but that isn't how things work. I just have little flashes of truth, sprinkled with whimsy. Am I witch? Nah, I don't think so. But sometimes I have to admit, I wouldn't mind that label so much. After all, I don't have a long spooky nose, I don't ride a broomstick, and I don't cook up gross slimy things in my big black cauldron, also known as a Crockpot.

I'm just me, and whatever it is that causes the occasional insights I have, isn't something to fear, or ignore. It's fun, and one day it may just stop happening, so for right now I will just enjoy it, and enjoy the fact that I, and the women in my family, like the women in the book Practical Magic, we are a little different then other folks. It's just a finer tuned instinct than most folks have, and I thank GOD for it! It has been a cool source of fun, and it has, at times, literally saved my life. What can I say, I am just me, and Halloween let's me feel like I can just be me, with or without a costume! I am free to just be happy in my own skin!

 "Always throw spilled salt over your left shoulder. Keep rosemary by your garden gate. Add pepper to your mashed potatoes. Plant roses and lavender, for luck. Fall in love whenever you can."

~Alice Hoffman

(Sally Owens)

Practical Magic

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

 

Jumping Wildly Into The Middle Of Autumn

"Ah, lovely October, as you usher in the season

 that awakens my soul, your awesome beauty compels my spirit to soar like an leaf caught in an autumn breeze

 and my heart to sing like a heavenly choir."

~Peggy Toney Horton 

 "After the keen still days of September, the October sun filled the world with mellow warmth. The maple tree in the front of the doorstep burned like a gigantic red torch. The Oaks along the roadway glowed yellow and bronze. The fields stretched like a carpet of jewels, emerald and topaz and garnet. Everywhere she walked the color shouted and sang around her... In October any wonderful unexpected thing might be possible."

~Elizabeth George Speare

The Witch Of Blackbird Pond

"The smell of burning firewood and molding of organic, earthly substances reminded her jumping wildly into the enormous leaf piles of autumns past and she suddenly wished that it was appropriate for someone her age to do such a thing!"

~Abby Slovin 

Letters In Cardboard Boxes

Mood: Happy

~Me :)