ERA NOW! Or Maybe Later, Who Knows?

 

"Worse than aborting is birthing in instability."

 

~Abhijit Naskar

Hometown Humans: To Live For Soil And Society

 

I don't feel like blogging today, but in the last 24 hours we have seen a historic decision, by the Supreme Court, so I feel like I must. You will read about it in the history books, but basically, Texas just passed a batshit law that sets back a woman's right to govern her own body back to that time I long for so much... mid-century. You know... there are days that I spend most of my time longing for New York City in the 1950's or early 60's. The time when woman wore lovely little white gloves in the day time, and men wore hats. I want to lunch at an automat, search for nifty sales at Gimbals, and then end my day by making Alan a meatloaf. Unfortunately, hiding in all that post war perfection, and the mellow Dean Martin soundtrack, is the fact that if a woman became pregnant for any reason, and she didn't want to continue with the pregnancy, she had to pay someone, often under horrific circumstances, to terminate it. Even if she was raped. By her father. The circumstances I think about the most are cases of incest and rape, but what about those who live in extreme poverty? Where are pro-lifers on the issue of lifting others out of the very circumstances that lead to the need and decision for abortions? You know by now that I am a Democrat, and therefore a Liberal, but the percentage of Texans that supported this dystopian bill didn't even reach 50 percent. Nationally 79% Americans, male and female, DO NOT WANT TO RETURN TO NEW YORK CITY IN 1960! They want abortion to remain legal. So, will the people of Texas fight back? Will America fight back? Remind me, has the Equal Rights Amendment been fully ratified yet? And I haven't even mentioned the nosy neighbor bounty. You have to look up that element of the bill yourself, it is too horrifying to mention on my blog. I won't give that monster air.

 

 

 

~Me

Stockton, California

September 2nd, 2021

 

 

 

Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz...

 

"Life is a celebration.

Being alive on this earth is a celebration.

Learning new things everyday is a celebration.

Being kind and compassionate is a celebration.

Chasing our dreams and goals is a celebration. 

With the right attitude, every action becomes celebration.

Learn to celebrate each and every moment of life."

 

~Purvi Raniga

 

This is a good day, despite all the uncertainty about moving and other scary things left not spoke about. Today, those things don't exist. Today we celebrate being in our house exactly 6 years. We are celebrating the birthdays of all three of our babies. Dylan and Hendrix were born in 2008 and Joey in 2013. They get so big, so fast. And today also marks exactly 32 years of service for Alan where he works. That's a lot to be happy about, and proud of. We need to move, SOON, but I am a little happy that we can celebrate this day in our home. A lot happened in those six years.

 

For one, I was scared to death I would die in a pile of nuclear ash, under my desk! Those were the Trump years. If you go all the way back to the day when Alan began his job, and just look at that era, it would be called the US years, because he proposed marriage to me, just a month later. But if you just focus on the years beginning in 2008, you have a real look at one of those unconventional families you hear about. A childless couple, who couldn't love their fur baby children more if they tried. 

 

Now, bring them all together, and you find, a happy life that I wouldn't change for the world. It's the story of us, but it's unfinished. There are many more memories waiting to be made. A lot of happiness awaits. A lot of celebratory kisses and kitty snuggles. No matter how bad any particular day has gone, Trump or not, we have laughed at some point. We laugh every single day about something. M any time, our little fellas will be the source of our laughter, and for that I am grateful. 

 

But...

 

I am also grateful for the occasional Alka-Seltzer!

 

I have never had it on the rocks, as this ad I found in the August 1966 edition of Playboy suggests, but I don't see why it wouldn't be absolutely delicious! Perhaps a splash of green apple syrup or maybe even watermelon syrup. Just straight has always worked. All I know is, dad kept plenty Alka-Seltzer around, and if I close my eyes, I can see it in it's cool mid-century packaging. A long tube type bottle, with little tablets inside. Do you remember, that awesome little jingle...

 

"Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is."

 

And it was. And it is. And I celebrate that! 

 

~Me

Stockton, California

September 1st 2021

 

But First, A Word From Our Sponsor

 

 

 

"Time was passing like a hand waving from a train I wanted to be on. I hope you never have to think about anything as much as I think about you."

 

~Johnathon Safran Foer

 

A while back, I had the idea of sharing some of my favorite movies from the 1970's and 80's that I had happily found available on Youtube. Then for whatever reason, I promptly dismissed doing so. I am not sure why I drifted from the idea, because I had recently enjoyed bringing a fairly good horror movie to my blog, that had been produced especially for ABC in the early 70's. When Michael Calls, still gives me chills 50 years later. It had ALL the elements of a good horror movie. Damsel in distress. A ghost (maybe). Eerily effective music. And, of course, it was set in autumn, right around Halloween. Oh my, I was in bliss watching it as a child, and I loved that every time it crossed my mind thereafter, I had to sleep with the light on. I exaggerate, but only a little. Who wouldn't enjoy sharing that on their blog, or anywhere else?

 

But fast forward to the here and now. The movie I am sharing this time around, Compromising Positions, isn't horror, rather it's a nifty whodunit from the 1980's, based on a the book, of the same name, by Susan Isaacs, who just happens to be one of my favorite authors. It stars, Susan Sarandon and Raul Julia, and the supporting cast lead by, Judith Ivey and Anne De Salvo, is top notch! If you haven't seen it, give it a watch, it's one of those movies that really should be on DVD by now, but for whatever reason, remains in the backroom of the great Blockbuster in the sky. And that's a real shame. But first, enjoy a word from our sponsor, Swanson TV Dinners, which I was probably eating the night I watched this cool little mystery on VHS. VHS and tv dinners. Of course it was the 80's!     

 

~Me

Stockton, Ca

August 31st, 2021

 

 

 

Past Autumns

 "Keep your face towards the sunshine,

 and the shadows will fall behind you."

~Walt Whitman

One of the things I love most about autumn and winter... shadows. The past few autumns have had that eerie glow from the Northern California wildfires. Hopefully the ones plaguing us this year will be extinguished soon. Unlike the previous years, this year's fires are moving east, toward the Lake Tahoe basin, and so far there aren't any in Napa County. Keeping my fingers crossed that some cooler weather will start soon, that always goes a long way to successfully moving past the most dangerous part of "fire season".

 

~Me

Stockton, California

August 28th 2021

 

Nah

 

"No one can tell what goes on in the between the person you were and the person you become. No one can chart that blue and lonely section of Hell. There are no maps of change.

 You just come out the other side. Or you don't."

 

~Stephen King

The Stand

 

The packing continues, of course, and it's going very well. We have finished packing the garage, and we threw a lot of stuff away. That felt really good, although I plan to throw even more away. once the final sorting takes place. Fortunately, there aren't many boxes and containers that are designated "to be determined". Objects come and go, but of all the treasures I own, books are the most difficult to part with! I know, I know, once they are read, why keep them? Well, it's simple, they are like friends you can contact, any time you need them. I love them. I love how heavy they are. How they look on the right shelf or bookcase. I especially love holding them in my hands, while I am reading in bed! Part with my books? Nah. I simply can't. Sorry... not sorry. I won't throw them away. I won't even donate them. I can't. They are my way out of this world. I love getting lost in them. It's a good feeling to know that after we move, my books will be waiting to be put back in their rightful place, and holding still, until it's time to be taken down and enjoyed on some chilly autumn afternoon to come.

 

~Me

August 27th 2021

Stockton, California

Butterflies, Leaves, Music, Cats, Books, Movies

 

"Another secret of the universe: Sometimes pain was like a storm that came out of nowhere. The clearest summer could end in a downpour. Could end in lightning and thunder."

 

~Benjamin Alire Saenz

Aristotle and Dante Discover The Secrets Of The Universe

 

No, I didn't forget to blog yesterday, I just, frankly, I just didn't care too. We heard from the HOA about heaven on Empress. It wasn't good. Our messed up credit meant, at least to them, that we were basically riff-raff. It seems your life needs to be perfect, in order to put a roof over one's head. I have a rating of 671 - 691. Alan's is a bit lower. Riff-raff I tells ya!!! It didn't matter that our credit was good enough to purchase a home 6 years ago. It didn't matter that I haven't missed a rent or mortgage payment in 31 years. It didn't matter that I haven't missed a single payment of anything in four years. It just didn't matter at all. All that mattered was that we fell off a financial cliff four years ago. Unless something changes soon, when all is said and done, and all goes well with the new buyers, we will clear about $175,000 and be homeless. How fucking ridiculous is that? That was rhetorical, of course, but at the same time, my GOD, I am scared. But, Rosalie reminds us, that was one HOA. All hope is not lost. In fact we are going to see more places in the next few days. Again, I just need to remember what Mark said, "it wasn't meant to be our home"... paraphrased.

 

And until then...

 Butterflies, leaves, music, cats, books, movies and more. 

 

 

~Me

Stockton, California

August 26th 2021

Life Paraphrased Part One

 

"Of all the seasons, autumn offers the most to man

 and requires the least of him."

 

~Hal Borland

 

And so it begins. This pretty leaf is a neighborhood leaf, with just a hint of red, but who knows this could be an orange year. A little hint of red doesn't mean much right now. Also, the Central Valley color is very different from the color in the Bay Area. Weather I guess. I hope to visit my favorite tree in the Bay Area soon, to track the colors there. Before autumn begins anyway. Things are so busy with the move, and now with our first buyer having backed of the deal, I doubt seriously that I will be moved before autumn begins. But as I have said many times, autumn is the great healer, and I believe that, so I am keeping the faith. And who knows, we got an offer yesterday, and Rosalie will let us know about it later today, so that's a good thing. Also, American Horror Story comes back tomorrow night, after being gone two years because of the Covid-19 pandemic, so things are coming together. As my Twitter pal Mark says, things happen for a reason, and in their own time. Paraphrased.

 

~Me

 

By The Way, Happy Anniversary

  

"Why this candle? Why this cake?

 The day of my birth is not today, it was the day you said, 'hey'."

~Kamand Kojouri

 

 

It's August 23rd, and today my blog turns 18 years old. It can now legally vote! And I sure wish it could. I may be "semi-retired" from politics, but it doesn't mean I have given up on things. But that is for a different post. I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating, time flies whether you are having fun or not. A lot has gone on in the last 18 years, but especially since the great Trump administration debacle, and the time of Covid-19. Its been sad the last few years, throw in the Northern California wildfires, that we have come to expect, and I have thought about simply giving up all together. But as soon as the first of August rolls around, there I am, looking for turning leaves and giddy with anticipation of what what amazing beauty will be found as I move through autumn. 

 

 I am grateful to have experienced blogging. The last 18 years have deserved some kind of permanent documentation. My blog was for me, to share the events in my life and marriage, and all things beyond our front door and what it meant to me. If you have been along with we for the ride, all or even most of that time, you know that I am just a person, floating through life. Nothing exciting or special, just life as it happened to me and he. We have had our bits of the extraordinary happen, like being able to purchase our first home. The home we are in now. You will also know how frightened I was of owning a home for the first time, but how I grew into my comfort eventually, and how I grew to love it. Well, things do change don't they?

 

I will love this place forever, but I will love the new place too. I tend to acclimate to my surroundings, which is why I never wanted to live in Tennessee. That was a joke, by the way. Anyway, I can't really picture the place we will land in. It's not clear yet. But we will make it work until time to move on. We lived in our shack in the Berkeley hills for 14 years. A very small. Very unremarkable shack. Then one of those bits of magic happened, and we found out it had been illegal all the time, allowing us to sue for a small amount of cash, that allowed us to purchase the home we are about to sell. It's a cliche, but yes, when one door closes another door opens. Ugh. I hate closed doors.Which is why I will probably be back every year until I go onto my glory, with another anniversary post. So stay tuned, I will always have something to share around August 23 of any given year. And certainly through autumn.

So little blog of my voice... HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. Thank you for all your have done for my frayed nerves and ability to share some creativity. On to Chapter 19, and what happens next.

~Me

Home

August 23rd 2021

And Just Like That...

 

"Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. 

Without them, what would shape our lives?"

 

~Carrie Bradshaw

Sex And The City

Season 4 Episode 1

"I Heart New York"

 

I am borrowing the title for this post, "And Just Like That" from the title of the Sex And The City reboot, that's due to premier on HBO sometime next January, because those particular words have pretty much summed up this year for me. Politically, personally, creatively, in just so many ways they fit, which is why I think it was a brilliant idea to change the title of the show. I am sure that title can be related to by many folks right now. If in no other way than... And Just Like That... a pandemic was raging across the world. Or perhaps... And Just Like That... we decided to sell the first house and only house we ever owned.

 

So that's what I did on Spring break, we got our shit together and listed the house. As of today, we are under contract with a lovely man who is giving us a decent price for the house. He is patient about us finding a new place, and he has decided to keep the theater room and expand on it by adding several rows of theater chairs. He is going to have a lot of fun in that room, but not as much as we did. It brought us an amazing amount of happiness. It was always meant to show wonderful old films, but new ones were also very comforting in times of sadness or insecurities, while I waited for autumn.

 

Things are lining up. 2021 will go down as the year of change, and perhaps even renewal. It has to happen every so often in life, right? I have fought change like HELL in the past, but for whatever reason, I am not fighting this one. I am ready to move on. The new place is smaller than we have been used to, but it's comfy and quiet. It's got a lot of trees so it's cool, and I think it had a happy vibe. I am planning some redecorating and of course picking out some paint will be a labor of love, as long as it's not sold through Home Depot. Now, if I could just hear back from the seller. She was supposed to consider offers a couple days ago, but Rosalie says she has been unwell. 

 

So there's that.

 

I am back now with full blog posts through the spring, and hopefully beyond. I always hope I will return to full blogging, rather than taking six months off at a time. But you never know, this new place might just be the vibe that inspires daily updates again.

 

And just like that... I am back.

 

~Me

Home

August 18th 2021

 

Those Summer Nights

 

"For to be free is not to merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in  way that respects and enhances the freedom of others."

 

~Nelson Mandela

 

Pretty, isn't it? This is the last fireworks photo I will have from our time in this house. We are moving soon. This dream is coming to an end. But was it a dream or a nightmare? I am still trying to figure it out. Oh well, I will share more later. For now lets just enjoy the beautiful photo of the light, and the freedoms, we all share. Its all a great big adventure... isn't it?

 

 ~Me

Those Summer Days

 

"A long time ago, in a kingdom by the sea,

 there lived a princess as tall and bright as a sunflower."

 

~~Jeanne Desy

The Princess Who Stood On Her Own Two Feet

 

Please make it be autumn. 

 

Please.

 

~Me

 

 

 

 

 

June Has An Equinox Too

 "Always hold onto material things with open hands."

~G. Swiss

(Silence)

So that 👆 happened. It was beyond time to trade in our two cars and downsize to one vehicle, at least for a little while. Truth is, since Alan's car stopped running, I haven't had a car anyway. It just made sense to turn the keys over to him during the Trump years. Most days I wasn't in the mood to drive, or really didn't belong behind the wheel. Not because of drugs or alcohol or anything, it was just that I was depressed and unreasonably scared that an ICBM was about to run up the ass of the United States. It was a surreal time. Hard on my physical health, seriously hard on my psychological health. Driving anywhere was not good.

Anyway, both cars were depreciating. Not good. In fact, one in the driveway. Really NOT GOOD. It was time. Just one thing. Actually selling the car that saw me through so much, like the HELLISH move to the Central Valley. Her name was Blair, and she had a personality, not unlike mine, so it was really hard to say goodbye. I was selling me car, and handing over my way out, just as I was now feeling like enjoying life again. It was unfair. That's life in a nut shell... right? It was like Trump was getting one last lick in. 

I learned a long ago, it's just stuff. Everything in life, that isn't breathing, is just stuff. Alan is a living, breathing hunk of man. Hendrix, Dylan and Joey are living breathing love bugs. Blair was a car. A car I loved. So, I was in a rage for a day or so, and then I finally landed back on earth, and as I contacted SiriusXM to confirm our free 3-months of awesome musical wonderfulness, I named the big monster in the driveway, Elvis, after the best cat ever. I think he would have agreed that it was for the best to make friends with the new ride, because being enemies with an inanimate object would be stupid. Elvis the cat was very practical about things.

So, Elvis the car, is a 2014 Chevy Equinox. No, that's not lost on me. I love autumn, and my new ride is named Equinox. But to tell you the truth I was so angry while buying it, I didn't realize until I drove it off the lot, that I had just bought a car named after my favorite moment of any year... the equinox, the time when all things become equal. The moment of universal harmony. But when I calmed down, and thought about all the good staring me in the face, I decided that since we were now living together, we might as well be friends. We will see where we go from here, at the posted speed limit, of course.

 

 

~Me

 

 

 

Does Summer Really Exist? And Other Existential Questions

 

"And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the threes, just as things grow in fast movies, I had the familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer."

 

~F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

It's an undisputed fact that I hate... loathe... detest... no wait... hate is the word. HATE I tells ya... I HATE summer, and today is the first day of it. This unmannered season will be roughly 90 days long, and it basically started during the night last night. It was so hot that I couldn't sleep. Why not turn on the air- conditioner? Well, it can't be on 24/7. I live in California, land of the rolling blackouts, where silly PG&E customers like using the air-conditioner when it's oppressively HOT. Go figure.

 

Yesterday, however, was a whole other season, spring, and the picture above is the last bird photograph of spring. From January 1st, when I officially began birding, I have photographed 99 birds, and that bird the, Ash-throated Flycatcher, is the bird which holds that spot. Roughly the size of an American Robin, and fast, it was a challenge to photograph, which is just how I like it. It feels good to have something of beauty to concentrate on, for long periods of time, or even in jumpy little glimpses, it's all good because it's life and beauty, brand new to my old eyes.

 

Bird watching has done a lot for me. It has allowed me to step out of all the things I carry. I wish I was the kind of person that could let go of stupid shit, decades old. I wish I could stop pining for the 80's and all the fun I had. I wish my body worked like it did back then. I wish old loves and friends would stop coming by my dreams in the middle of the night, especially on oppressively hot nights. I wish. But as my old friend would say, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." I am not completely sure I like that old saying, but it makes the point perfectly, doesn't it? 

By the way, I got my hair cut today. It's the shortest it's ever been, and it feels amazing. And if I am telling the truth, for the first day of summer, it wasn't nearly as hot as the last few days of spring. So is it really summer? I mean does each season really exist, just because someone got hot one day, and in place of calling it HELLISH, they named it summer? Is summer just trying to get on my good side? Do I hate it as much as I think I do? Shrug. I think... sigh... life is for the birds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

~Me

June 21st 2021

Hellllo Down There...

 

"Greet each man with peace, and leave each man with love. Ask yourself... One more enemy, or one more dove."

 

~Suzy Kassem

Rise Up And Salute The Sun: The Writings Of Suzy Kassem

 

Yes, demonstrably I am alive, just a little uninspired, but everything is fine. Truth is I go busy, and time flew by, but I am here, and doing a lot of photography. Birds mostly, but they are keeping me very happy. I haven't branched out from Woodbridge and Cosumnes River yet, but each time I visit I discover something new, so right now I am happy and content with that. I will be posting regular again beginning next Tuesday... I PROMISE. So keep checking back. Birds mostly, which I hope you enjoy seeing. That's just the way it is until things open up again in California. The natural world feels like the only safe place. Covid-19 hasn't budged an inch in San Joaquin County, we are still in the purple (widespread) tier. But with vaccinations happening more often now, I am very hopeful about have a more enjoyable autumn than the last couple years. Vacation is in October, just a little over 6 months away, please cross your fingers for me... well... for all of us!

 

~Carly

A Blossom And A Bee

 

"Or maybe spring is the season of love and fall the season of mad lust. Spring for flirting but fall for the untamed delicious wild thing."

 

~Elizabeth Cohen

The Hypothetical Girl 

 

I love this quote. Honestly, I have never really enjoyed spring, but I am beginning to climb out of my depression, so I am actually looking at spring a lot differently, from more of a creative standpoint. I wish I was in the Bay Area, almost all the time, but I am settled in the valley now. It's just that the Bay Area has so many wonderful places to photograph, no matter what season you are in. The tulips should be in full bloom now at Queen Wilhemina windmill garden, in Golden Gate Park. The Japanese Tea Garden is probably filled with cherry blossoms now too. Oh my, I miss San Francisco so much. I am okay though, I have my birding now, and I am absolutely certain that if I had to move from here suddenly, I would miss it the way I do my home in the East Bay. When I finally put down roots, they go deep. I think I might finally be happy, or at least content. And hey, look what I found in Lodi! And get this... it was in the parking lot of a gas station! It's reminding me that it's way past time for me to be searching with a purpose, because around every corner, there is something waiting to be noticed. Stuff folks are so used to, that it's never really seen. My camera helps me to see things, I think I would miss entirely, if I didn't have the perspective of life through a lens. It makes the little things matter to me. Like the beauty of a bee on a blossom. I am hoping to do a lot more spring photography this year. There is a lot of beauty to be seen.

 

 Spring makes the same amount of noise that autumn does,

it just does it in pastel colors! Spring is the promise of an autumn to come. That thought makes me happy. It's life.

 

~Carly

Black Phoebe Gallery 2021

 

"There is an unreasonable joy to be had from the observation of small birds going about their bright, oblivious business."

 

~Grant Hutchison

The Complete Lachlan

 

Cedar Waxwing

December 8th 2019

Stockton, California

 

At the end of 2019, and a little ways into 2020, there were Cedar Waxwings everywhere. Here in the San Joaquin Valley, all the way to Cull Canyon, in the East Bay and probably beyond. I absolutely loved it, because I had never seen that particular bird before, and as small birds go, they are really striking! But then Covid-19 came along, and that was that, I resigned myself to stay in my cage, it was the least I could do for the bird brained among us who not only couldn't stay home, because after all, 'merica, but couldn't put on a fucking mask. To be honest, I didn't think anymore about my birdie friends, because my time was filled with what would become the final year of Trump fret. At least as far as we know anyway. Im glossing over his second impeachment right now, but I digress. The Cedar Waxwing quickly became a favorite and I figured they would return in late December or early January. Unfortunately as we crossed into 2021, I hadn't seen a single one, so I wrote it off as perhaps low numbers, or maybe there was a heavy concentration of them in the Bay Area, and not here, shrug. I had also noticed that the European Starlings were fewer this year. These things run their course. 

 

This year it became clear that the tiny bird to take it's place would be the Black Phoebe. I love that little bird! It's a little bigger than the Cedar Waxwings, but not as colorful. Mostly black and white with just a hint of red if the sun hits it just right. It's a cute round shape, and a pleasant chirp/cheep sound to it.  It's hard as HELL to photograph because it tends to blend in with the background, and like the Cedar Waxwing, it's a really fast mover regardless of whether it's flying or scampering on the ground. But on the plus side, it hovers from time to time, which allows me to get the camera focused. It's taken me several sessions in the yard, and at the Cosumnes River preserve to get a decent photo, but happily, a couple days ago, I finally got some great shots right in my own yard! I like it when I don't have to make a special trip for a certain bird, because with my Fibromyalgia it's not always easy for me to do. Sometimes things just come together. I don't anticipate doing many more photos of the Phoebe, unless it's for practice, so here is my finished set, as far as the Black Phoebe goes.

 

Enjoy

I finished photographing the Black Phoebe Friday afternoon, and had the camera ready to go so I could try to get a shot of a particularly nasty Scrub Jay that's been haunting the yard, when I saw a group of tiny birds all fly into the neighbor's tree all at once. They looked mighty familiar, could it be? Cedar Waxwings? I did a couple shots without a tight zoom, so I wouldn't lose as many pixels. And there it was. It was indeed a group of them, happily flapping from branch to branch. tweeting, "Hi Miss Lady!" I couldn't really get a good shot, but that's cool, it still counts, and I am looking forward to the chase. It will happen! I will get a good shot, it will just take practice, like I did with the Phoebe. And letting go of Trump fret!

 

 Nasty California Scrub Jay

 Stay Tuned

~Carly

Because... Birds.

 

Cosumnes River

Lodi, California

February 6th, 2021

"Some people are very competitive in their birding. Maybe they'll die happy, having seen a thousand species before they die, but I'll die happy knowing I've spent all that quiet time being present."

 

~Lynn Thomson

Birding With Yeats: A Mother's Memoir 

 

Click to enlarge

Black Phoebe

Stockton, California

February 10th 2021

Nikon
 

Okay, so the second day, of the second impeachment, of Donald Trump happened yesterday, and all I can say is, the current GOP is made of up nothing but soulless monsters! If I didn't quite think it before, I do now. It's a devastating thought that half our government wouldn't care if the Democratic party was completely scrubbed from the earth. And tell me, considering that is their hope/wish/goal, what exactly does that mean for the rest of us? I was raised in a staunchly liberal democratic household in the San Francisco Bay Area, but that is not what makes me a staunch Democrat today. Critical thinking does. A skill taught to me by my father. 

 

It wasn't enough to know what you think, you had to know why you think it. What set of facts lead you to the conclusions you have formed, and can you see other sides to the argument, even if you can't adopt them to your conclusions? It seems like such a simple formula, but apparently, it isn't. The number one defense coming from the insurrectionists, during their legal proceedings is, "the devil made me do it" defense. In this case it is Donald Trump walking in the devil's shoes. They believed they were saving America, when in fact, they were manipulated into doing his dirty work, just like so many before them. See: Michael Cohen. He at least tried to warn us.

The insurrectionists are displaying a small amount of critical thinking in their actions. They answered a call to arms from Donald Trump. They came to the capitol to "Stop The Steal." The problem is, while they knew what their purpose was that day, the allowed a man to dictate all facts. To form the narrative with repetitive false claims and promises of rewards. And lets not pretend that the shadowy figure of Q didn't play a huge part in this mess. He is not really being mentioned in this. Trump and Q"s efforts culminated in one of the darkest days I have seen as an American. The election we just had, had every chance of going Trump's way. We came very close to living under a true fascist regime. And who know what would have come next? Is there such a thing as a modern fascist party? Fascism with just enough democracy, that it can hide it's darkest corners?

Yesterday left me shook. I watched never before security tapes of January 6th. Folks running for their lives. Police officers begging for back-up. Police being beaten. A man stalking Nancy Pelosi with the eerie diabolical taunt of, "Hereeee Nancy." We all recognize that tone coming from a man, don't we? All under the guise of 'patriotism." My heart is broken. I am scared of March 4th and the possibility of what might occur. And I am angry that this is who and what America is now, or at least half of it seems to be.

But all was not lost yesterday. I took a few minutes, and stepped out onto the porch to do some photography of birds in the front yard. To my delight there was a Black Phoebe, and a Blue Jay. The jay alluded me but I finally got a decent shot of the Phoebe. Unfortunately, they weren't in the yard long, because of loud noises, and folks moving about, but that's okay, because there is another chance today. I know that every day gives me a new chance to live the best I can. I am lucky to have that. I will let them give me refuge again, because birds do that for me. Actually nature in general does, but right now, it's the birds. There is a rooster somewhere in the neighborhood, and this morning his songs make my heart sing along with him!

 

 

I will be okay, because... birds.

~Carly

 

 

It's Narcissus Not Narcissist, Dummy!

 

"Rare indeed is the seed who can bury its nightmares

 and still stem and blossom into it's wildest dreams."

 

~Curtis Tyrone Jones

 

 

I could say a lot about the opening arguments of Trump's Impeachment trial, but fuck me,why? I'm so sick of this stupid nightmare. He's out of office and he's putting on a laughable defense all the while inciting, Insurrection: The Sequel, for March 4th. This could have all been over with before he left office, but McConnell held out for this week. Why did McConnell do that? Perhaps to help gin up March 4th? What's March 4th? Apparently that's the day all real presidents are sworn into office. It's history, look it up, LIBTARD! Sorry, I was channeling a Qanon idiot for a moment there. As I mentioned, he is out of office, this Impeachment trial is expected to last a week or so, then there is whatever fresh HELL is about to take place on March 4th. After that, I hope the name Trump will simply go live on a farm in upstate New York, where it can roam free and live happy, like pets and humans, all do one day! If you get my drift.

But in the mean time...

 

Paperwhite Narcissus 

Woodbridge Ecological Reserve

Lodi, California

Nikon

 

~Carly 

Just Past Mid-Winter

 

"This was all in the making a long time ago. You had as much control over these events as a leaf does in the time of it's falling."

 

~Nitya Prakash

 

How about that, a quote about leaves that I don't think I've used before. I hope I remember it, because I really think I will use it again in autumn. Right now, however, it is still winter, which is very nice, but I haven't given up on autumn yet. I find myself still looking for those colors, where I feel alive, energized, and at my very best inside myself. This winter has been warm, so the blossoms are waking up, and I can appreciate that too. Everything in it's time and place. It's just the further away from autumn we get, and as we move into the relentless days of heat that won't end, and when there isn't a migratory bird in sight, the less attached to my surroundings I feel. But I am just beginning my journey of watching birds, so perhaps something new will help me find a bridge. I sure could use it.

 

~Carly

Dude, There's A Bird On Your Head

 

"He never forgot anything, 

but he never bothered to arrange his memories."

 

~John Steinbeck

Cannery Row

 

Yep, that's John Steinbeck with a seagull on his head. The statue is in Monterey, California, in the Cannery Row district of the town. I photographed this duo, October 17th, 2018, but this is the first time posting it on my blog... I think. I may have posted it previously, but not in this context. The context I am referring to here, is working with one photograph, different styles, such as black and white, color and sepia. In this case I liked the black and white style a lot more than the others. Steinbeck looks more realistic, just weathered. Like an old man sitting very still with a bird on his head, but the color version gives all of the photograph's secrets away. The sepia was nice, but made the picture feel depressing somehow, rather than quirky. I think I have would rather not dwell too much in sad images. I am still learning to not be stressed out constantly and it's getting better, so why mess with things? Right? The last couple weeks have felt like they were a couple weeks, with is a strange feeling in and of itself. It's almost as if time is righting itself.

 

 

~Carly

Discover The Delta And Where Is My Book?

 

 

"Photography is what emotions look like."

~Jon Luvelli

 

I can't find my book. Last month, I bought a new book, Twilight, by Stephenie Meyer. Yes, I know, it's about teen angst/romance but it in all fairness, I wanted something different, and besides, I had recently watched just about all of them during a week of unwavering, relentless insomnia, and I thought I would see if the book was better written than the movie was. Shrug. I got through the first chapter, and half way through the second, when it went missing, but up to that point, no, it was fairly spot on. 

 

What does this picture have to do with my misplacing my book? Nothing really, except that the day I photographed this water tower, January 3rd, I was thinking about the story of Twilight. How Bella had just arrived to a new place, Forks, Washington, and felt out of place. I have been in the San Joaquin Delta region now, going on six years, and I still feel out of place. I am only just now finding my way, by discovering the beauty of migrating birds. It's easier for teens to seek the adventure I suppose. To welcome the angst. At my age, not so much. I would be happier with life being normal again. Something like 2013, when we found Joey, and Robin Williams wasn't dead. 

 

One more bit of angst with Trump to get through... the second Impeachment trial, which begins next week. I have no idea how long that will last, or if there will be another day similar to January 6th, but there is some comfort in knowing how it will end because I have very little faith in anyone in the Republican party doing the right thing. They are scared of Donald Trump, He's their vampire. So the horror story will play out as most horror stories in the real world do. History won't be kind to those who seek to harm, we all know it, and they know it too, that's what makes it all so perverse, and yet, when all is said and done, at least there are still things we can all count on. 

 

Republican's are vampires and cowards

and new books will go missing. 

 

~Carly