"And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the threes, just as things grow in fast movies, I had the familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer."
~F. Scott Fitzgerald
It's an undisputed fact that I hate... loathe... detest... no wait... hate is the word. HATE I tells ya... I HATE summer, and today is the first day of it. This unmannered season will be roughly 90 days long, and it basically started during the night last night. It was so hot that I couldn't sleep. Why not turn on the air- conditioner? Well, it can't be on 24/7. I live in California, land of the rolling blackouts, where silly PG&E customers like using the air-conditioner when it's oppressively HOT. Go figure.
Yesterday, however, was a whole other season, spring, and the picture above is the last bird photograph of spring. From January 1st, when I officially began birding, I have photographed 99 birds, and that bird the, Ash-throated Flycatcher, is the bird which holds that spot. Roughly the size of an American Robin, and fast, it was a challenge to photograph, which is just how I like it. It feels good to have something of beauty to concentrate on, for long periods of time, or even in jumpy little glimpses, it's all good because it's life and beauty, brand new to my old eyes.
Bird watching has done a lot for me. It has allowed me to step out of all the things I carry. I wish I was the kind of person that could let go of stupid shit, decades old. I wish I could stop pining for the 80's and all the fun I had. I wish my body worked like it did back then. I wish old loves and friends would stop coming by my dreams in the middle of the night, especially on oppressively hot nights. I wish. But as my old friend would say, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." I am not completely sure I like that old saying, but it makes the point perfectly, doesn't it?
By the way, I got my hair cut today. It's the shortest it's ever been, and it feels amazing. And if I am telling the truth, for the first day of summer, it wasn't nearly as hot as the last few days of spring. So is it really summer? I mean does each season really exist, just because someone got hot one day, and in place of calling it HELLISH, they named it summer? Is summer just trying to get on my good side? Do I hate it as much as I think I do? Shrug. I think... sigh... life is for the birds.
~Me
June 21st 2021
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