Meanwhile

 

"Once upon a time, there were three little girls who went to the police academy... "

~Charlie Townsend (John Forsythe)

Charlie's Angels

Opening credits all 5 seasons

Who didn't watch Charlie's Angels when they were kids? I was 14 or so when this movie first aired, and it was good by 1976 standards, but it wasn't what made the biggest hit with friends and me, it was the way Farrah Fawcett-Majors wore her hair! We all returned to school the next September with variations on her famous haircut! Farrah brought a certain quirky glamour to her character, Jill Monroe, that was more playful then her fellow angels. The TV movie pilot for the show premiered on March 21st, 1976, and it was an instant hit with, America! It didn't hurt that one of the actors who appeared in the pilot was Tommy Lee Jones, of whom I was already a fan of, from his days on One Life To Live! Yep it was television magic for a while, but with the departure of Farrah Fawcett-Majors some of the sparkle disappeared and was never quite found again. The 5th, and final season, was unwatchable in my opinion. By the way, fun fact, the address of the Townsend Agency was, 8619 Sunset blvd, Los Angeles, California.

Meanwhile...

It's Wednesday, and I am weary, so I feel like jumping into the way-back machine, and ignoring the stupid. Charlie's Angels, The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, The Bionic Woman, Vegas, they were all big hits, and an excellent escape from the stupid of the mid-70's and early 80's. But there are a few current shows that do that for me in the here and now. Your Friends and Neighbors, and Widows Bay come to mind. Both can be found on Apple Tv. Your Friends and Neighbors has concluded it's second season, so let the bingeing begin, and Window's Bay will air it's season finale today. I sure hope it comes back. It's got horror, comedy, drama and intrigue all wrapped into a nifty mystery! It's so much fun to watch! If you haven't seen it, go, right now to Apple TV and binge this season. Trust me, it will hook you right in! It will also make you laugh out loud, scare you, and warm your heart.

Widow's Bay review from then New York Times

Okay, Here Goes... Part One: Autumn Friends

 "Death ends a life, not a relationship"

 

~Mitch Albom

Tuesday's with Morrie

 

I said I have two things to share. One will obviously be about the second indictment and subsequent arrest of Donald Trump. That took place on Tuesday, June 13th, but something happened before we all got there. On Monday, June 12th, Treat Williams passed away. It broke my heart into tiny pieces. It was sudden. An accident that never should have happened, but happen it did all the same. A motorist turned into his path, and Treat never had a chance to stop. He was on his motorcycle, and the wearing of a helmet did not prevent other injuries from happening. I thought I would be seeing a tweet from him about the arrest of Trump, but no, he was just gone in the early evening of June 12th. As I sit here writing this it still seems really odd, and surreal that someone so in touch with the joys of life, who still marveled at so much, and who got so much out of the smallest of things, and simplest of moments, is no longer here. 

 

I had followed him on, Twitter, for the better part of a decade. He made me laugh. He made me reconsider my opinions from time to time. I enjoyed seeing his photos from various sets he was on. Movies and tv shows alike. The man never sat down when it came to his craft. I loved seeing his home and family. His property in Vermont was nothing short of paradise. And the trips he took with his various airplanes took my breath away, especially his flights over Vermont during the autumn. From the sky you could get lost in every single color you could imagine, demonstrating autumn wasn't always about earth tones, autumn was vibrant and joyful and beautiful. It was all... so damn amazing, so much so, that the thought of that amazing life being gone so fast, was never in my mind. Why would it be? He was one of the few, if not the only one at times, that didn't dwell on the negativity of life, but rather how to handle it by searching for the light and the joy.

 

That's not to say that he didn't have his moments. Trump could have gotten to Gandhi. One such moment, I don't even know exactly why he tweeted it, but suddenly Treat tweeted, "Shut up and do your job, you big fat baby!" which I have to say, delighted me to no end! I laughed and laughed and used about 200 laughing emojis in the reply form. Sheesh. Maybe my reaction was a little too much, but I felt that way all the same. He had just expressed, what I had always wanted to say, except it was now coming from one of the nicest folks around, which in my mind made it fabulous. It was funny, and appreciated. Then one day, sometime later, I left a comment about one of his autumn flights over Vermont, and something kinda nice happened, if not downright magical, he answered me! A great big movie star answered me, and I blushed, I really did. Treat said he was, "proud to know me". Wait... we know each other?

 

It took me a little while to consider that. It never dawned on me that he knew I was even there, let alone... gulp... know me. Or... yikes... was "proud to know me." Now what? Are we pals? Are we friends? How did he come to that assessment? Was it the things I said in my rambling comments? It's not like one could ask, that would be rude! Imagine this... "Hey buddy... whats that nice comment all about?" Twitter can be a strange place sometimes. Friendships are made fairly easily, and then just as easily folks can disappear from your timeline, for all kinds of reasons, it's never really been something I take too seriously. Life just happens, and it happens on social media too, only with walls that are invisible, but that are as strong as any wall can be. I like walls when it comes to celebrities. On my best day, as a fangirl of 61, I can sound like a nutty stalker, or a childish girl of 16, amazed at the talents of Shawn Cassidy. Who I also follow by the way.

 

So he answered me a few more times, and wished me a "back at you" at Christmas one year, and sweetly sang for us during Covid-19, at my request, although I think he had thought of it first, and was merely,  again, taking the time to answer me. But it was nice. It was always nice. He made folks feel at ease. He made me feel at ease. He felt like a friend. I guess that's okay, right? Do a few interactions over Twitter make you a friend or does the word "hello" followed by a lifetime of happy lunches and intimate sharing of ideas? Things can get fairly deep and philosophical on Twitter, so I know enough to believe we were of like minds, so maybe that is enough, to consider him my friend in the most basic sense of the word. I looked forward to his silly tweets and his opinions. I had respect for him and maybe that is enough.

 

In any case, I know I will miss him forever, he was my friend. He has left a hole in me. No one fills the holes left inside our hearts when loved ones pass, it's the part of us that belonged to someone special. To fill that hole is too much like replacing them. Some folks are irreplaceable. Treat was a part of me, but I will always have the movie, Hair, to watch in the moments when I am feeling blue about things. As scary as things ever got with the world, he had a way of looking at it and reminding us, we could make it through, and we were all connected as part of the tribe. I was so very lucky to connect with such a good person. And how lucky I was that an extraordinary man was proud to know me. I sure hope I made him smile once in a while, because I was so proud to know him too.

 

Goodnight, Treat

God's speed.

 

 

Does Summer Really Exist? And Other Existential Questions

 

"And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the threes, just as things grow in fast movies, I had the familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer."

 

~F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

It's an undisputed fact that I hate... loathe... detest... no wait... hate is the word. HATE I tells ya... I HATE summer, and today is the first day of it. This unmannered season will be roughly 90 days long, and it basically started during the night last night. It was so hot that I couldn't sleep. Why not turn on the air- conditioner? Well, it can't be on 24/7. I live in California, land of the rolling blackouts, where silly PG&E customers like using the air-conditioner when it's oppressively HOT. Go figure.

 

Yesterday, however, was a whole other season, spring, and the picture above is the last bird photograph of spring. From January 1st, when I officially began birding, I have photographed 99 birds, and that bird the, Ash-throated Flycatcher, is the bird which holds that spot. Roughly the size of an American Robin, and fast, it was a challenge to photograph, which is just how I like it. It feels good to have something of beauty to concentrate on, for long periods of time, or even in jumpy little glimpses, it's all good because it's life and beauty, brand new to my old eyes.

 

Bird watching has done a lot for me. It has allowed me to step out of all the things I carry. I wish I was the kind of person that could let go of stupid shit, decades old. I wish I could stop pining for the 80's and all the fun I had. I wish my body worked like it did back then. I wish old loves and friends would stop coming by my dreams in the middle of the night, especially on oppressively hot nights. I wish. But as my old friend would say, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." I am not completely sure I like that old saying, but it makes the point perfectly, doesn't it? 

By the way, I got my hair cut today. It's the shortest it's ever been, and it feels amazing. And if I am telling the truth, for the first day of summer, it wasn't nearly as hot as the last few days of spring. So is it really summer? I mean does each season really exist, just because someone got hot one day, and in place of calling it HELLISH, they named it summer? Is summer just trying to get on my good side? Do I hate it as much as I think I do? Shrug. I think... sigh... life is for the birds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

~Me

June 21st 2021

Looking Out Of The Window

"Enlarge your windows till you get a window where you can see the whole universe with one look!"

~Mehmet Murat ildan

I reached all the way back into the archives for this photo! It's from, 2006. I was at my psychiatrist's office, and we were having a good session. Actually, let me fix that, I was having a good session. We implies she needed to be in therapy with me, but she, of course, didn't need to be in therapy with me, at all. Anyway, it was April, a weird month for me to be doing well, because I can't stand spring, and lets face it, April is dead center in the middle of spring, but for whatever reason, that I can't remember, it was a good day. I was having a good day. How do I know it was? Well, because as I was tip-toeing through the photography archives, I found a different version of this photo, and it was titled...

 "On A Good Day"

I was still pretty inside myself back then. I had the camera, and a blog, but I still didn't feel like engaging with anyone who didn't live in a little box on my desk. But I realized looking at this photo, that as inside myself as I was, I still saw everything in the world in living color. The trees, the house across the street, life on Durant street in Berkeley was in full living color. That was big, in that I had been dealing with Anhedonia in the previous years. Anhedoina is painful, if you live for photography. In my case, I couldn't match colors, everything appeared in black and white. Well, that's not right, see, I saw the colors, they just didn't make any sense to me. 

I couldn't make colors go together properly. Nothing looked right. But by the time I took the photo above, I had been healed. I saw colors again, and understood their meaning. Green trees. Red trees. A blue sky. All things I saw, while I was ill, but couldn't comprehend. It was there, but it wasn't. Anyway, it was a very good day, the day I took that photo. I was happy enough to take a photo of an open window, on a sunny day, in Berkeley, California. And I kept taking photos, but it was all different, because I can pick up the camera on good and bad days now, and the only variable is my energy, and will, to do so and therein lies my continued struggle.

I took these photos, on the same good day, all those years ago, and they still make me smile. Hair is my favorite movie, so it was a lot of fun to spot the soundtrack to it, in a window, in Berkeley. As a matter of fact, it was also out of my therapist's window, on a different side of the office. I thought it was such a strange place to see the soundtrack of Hair! In Berkeley. In a window. In 2006! I wish I could have gotten a clearer picture, but I was dealing with the two windows, a fair distance apart, but it's kinda awesome to me all the same. I snapped the photo, and smiled most of the rest of that day. God, life is mighty strange sometimes. Take my advice, look out of more windows... even if you don't feel like it!

The universe was definitely speaking to me that day.

Side 2. Song 1.

Where Do I Go?

Sung by John Savage

"Hair"

~Mood: Quiet

~Me

 

Faces

"Nothing is a portrait is a matter of indifference. 

Gesture, grimace, clothing, decor even... all must combine to realize a character."

~Charles Baudelaire

I came across this selfie I took back in 2009. My hair is really short in this photo, and I haven't cut it since, so right now it's really long. It's just about time to cut it again! They say women shouldn't wear long hair after the age of 50, but I don't know, Jane Seymour looks amazing with long hair, as does Elizabeth Hurley. Well, actually, Elizabeth Hurley doesn't turn 50 until June, but it wouldn't matter how she wore her hair, she would look fabulous! I like long hair, but I might go ahead and cut it anyway, just so it won't take so long to dry it. Hmmm... will I cut it? I am not sure.

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

A Photo A Day For 6 Months: Day 134~ RRC: Hair

"Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair."

~Kahlil Gibran

Round Robin Challenge: Big Hairy Deal

Yep, that is indeed Harry Hamlin. I don't think I could find a better choice for the main photograph in a photo post about HAIR that to show you HARRY HAMLIN! I had a wonderful time meeting the actor, a couple years ago, when Alan and I sat in the studio audience of the now cancelled Bay Area afternoon talk show, 7 Live. I will save the details for another post of how and when I was able to capture this particular photo, trust me it's an interesting story. Stay tuned to my blog, I will post about meeting Harry Hamlin sometime in October. But for now, let me show you some of my very favorite "HAIR" subjects...

Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there, hair, shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there, momma, everywhere, daddy, daddy

Hair, flow it, show it
Long as God can grow, my hair

~ Lyrics From "Hair"

#1. Beautiful Rodeo Horse... Rowell Ranch Rodeo Parade May 2012
 

#2. The Friendly Neighborhood Opossum Agatha Pendragon. I love opossums.


#3. The Common Hairstreak.


#4. Elvira Mistress of the Dark (Another of my celebrity photos_


#5. Heads On A Shelf. Don't you just love getting your hair done? :)


#6 A Beautiful Autumn Vanessa


#7. Brown Skipper


#8. A Furry or Hairy Aquatic Creature The Otter. When I first saw him sleeping on the water, I thought it was a disgarded rug. LOL.


#9. And Finally... Me. 2012. Not too bad for 50... right?


Okie Doke. That is my contribution to the current challenge. Now that you have seen mine, how about playing along with the challenge. I know Karen would love to have you come by. Simply click the link at the top of this post to be redirected to the RRC official blog where you will find all the information you need to play along. That is also where you will also find the links to the other participants. We have some awesome photographers in the community!

~Me :)

A Photo A Day For 6 Months: Day 80~ Berkeley And The Age Of Aquarius

 

 Aquarius { 5TH Dimension}

When the moon is in the seventh house
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars


This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
The age of Aquarius, Aquarius
Aquarius

Harmony and understanding, 
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revelation
And the minds true liberation


Aquarius. Aquarius

 When the moon is in the seventh house
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars

This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
The age of Aquarius, Aquarius
Aquarius

 


The pictures posted in this entry aren't the best ones I have ever done, not by a long shot, but when I look at them I always smile. I always feel warm inside. It's not the pictures themselves, it's the circumstances around the photos, and the moment, or possibility hour, of perfect serendipity that allowed me to have this bit of luck. Or was it magic? Maybe it was just written in the stars.


One day, in April of 2007, I was in my therapists office, working on some monumentally painful things in my life. Things that now, in complete retrospect, shouldn't have been given nearly as much power and attention as I was giving them. It was long past time for my having moved on from people and situations I had no control over, but being the sentimental person that I was, I was finding it difficult. Moving on isn't easy for a sentimental person, which is not a legitimate excuse by the way, but I think in my particular case, I couldn't let myself move on because I think I was afraid on some level that if I did so, then I would also have to face the loss of the love that would accompany it.


Therapy is hard work. Heartbreak is devastating, and at times damn embarrassing. My main question was, how could something hurt, and embarrass me as much as this did, without actually killing me? Whose stupid system was this? Really? No shit... I wanted to know!


So, in the middle of a paid hour of self pity, with my eyes red and puffy and otherwise swollen shut from the effort to fix my problems, I glanced outside the window of my therapists office, to see what looked like an old record resting in the window of the apartment building next door. Those particular apartments sat just a couple blocks off the Cal Berkeley campus, and as such, there was always something wonderful and unusual that could be found nearby or in the neighborhood. It's just quirky that way.


I had made it a regular part of my visits to my therapist, to bring along my camera, for those times when I would reach a wall/ If that happened I would take the camera out and snap something. A shadow on the wall. A bird that would sometimes come and rest on the small ledge outside the window. Whatever caught my eye, and could serve as a momentary break from the pain I was in. It always worked to help me focus, and then resume the dialog with the therapist.


I was intrigued by the sight on an old fashioned record in the window. What could it be? Was it something magnificently meaningful, like an album of Jack Kerouc poetry? Maybe it was a full album of The Mupputs singing the best of AC/DC. Or perhaps it was William Shatner singing Rocket Man, by Elton John. I sat the rest of the hour, in a lot less pain, because I was more interested in what the record was, then wallowing another second more in my own useless whining. So, when the hour was up, I snapped off a few photos of the window next door, and the record, so I could find out when I got home, what had saved me from myself that day.


 


The record was Side 2 of the soundtrack to the movie Hair. LOL. How cool is that? Here I was, in downtown Berkeley, Hippie East Bay, and that record could have been anything, but it wasn't, it was Hair. You know...the play about the counterculture of the 1960's which overall message was one of anti-war, but also about how one should stop taking life so hard, and embrace it. Life is for the living. Sigh, Messages I really needed that day. Things I really needed to deal with.


I won't go into anymore detail about what specifically was hurting me that day, I will just share that it felt very much like the universe was telling me that yes, it was time to move on. And yes, it was ok to do so.


Sometimes, the universe sends you all you need to know... you just have to be willing to listen.




 And now, a little music... enjoy!


  The Original Motion Picture, Hair, "Age Of Aquarius/Let The Sun Shine"



5TH Dimension...  "Age Of Aquarius/Let The Sun Shine"





~Me :)

A Photo A Day For 6 Months: Day 34~It's A Girl Thing

"Life is an endless struggle of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like."


~Unknown


Why this picture? Why did I choose this picture, for this post? What in the world could inspire me to choose this photo out of the million or so photos in my archive? Simple. It's the universal truth that no matter how perfect one thinks they might be... hair will always tell on you!


Ladies... am I right, or am I right?

"If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library?"

~Lily Tomlin

 

~Me :)


See ya tomorrow.

New Monday Photo Shoot #17: Fur Sure

"Life is an endless struggle, full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like."

-Unknown

New Monday Photo Shoot #17: Photograph something furry or fuzzy, whether it's a textured fabric, an animal (real or otherwise), a beard, a piece of fruit, or something else. All I ask is that the photograph concentrate on whatever it is that's furry or fuzzy, and ignore other features (such as eyes and noses) as much as possible.

-Karen Funk Blocker, of the blog, Outpost Mavarin

Is it hair? Is it fuzz? Is it fur? Whatever it is on the butterfly, it's very soft when it brushes past you, and I found out quite by accident, that butterflies don't mind very much if you very gently touch their mane, if you do so with the utmost respect. :) Have you ever combed the long, well managed hair of a beautiful woman? Was she a Painted Lady? Could she be described as a Cosmopolitan woman? Was she as sweet and beautiful as this Vanessa?

;) WINK!

Note: Please click on the photo to see it in a larger version.

-OndineMonet
Vanessa cardui (American Painted Lady Butterfly)
Conservatory Of Flowers
Golden Gate Park
San Francisco, California
April 23, 2008
Afternoon

Hair... Like A Virgin... Combed For The Very First Time

"Long hair minimizes the need for barbers; socks can be done without; one leather jacket solves the coat problem for many years; suspenders are superfluous."

-Albert Einstein

Ok, what the heck is going on? For the last month or so, I have been seeing BIG 80's hair everywhere I have been. Not on everybody of course, but here and there for sure. Enough so I have noticed. It's so weird. It's like I died, and suddenly I am existing in an alternate New Wave higher, or maybe lower, existence. LOL. Or could it be... fret... that I am finally old enough, that the New Wave style has finally come back into vogue? In either case, this 40-something lady will have no part of it. Nope. I did the Madonna hair, the Stevie Nicks hair. In the 90's I had "The Rachel" look, but now, in 2008, I have "The Carly"... and it just feels nice to have my own style. :)

So tell me, what of this phenomenon? Have you been seeing big hair everywhere also? Is it coming back into style? Inquiring minds want to know!

-OndineMonet

Images From Yesterday

"Those artists who say that somehow therapy or analysis will thwart their creativity are completely misinformed. It's absolutely the opposite. It opens doors."

-Paul Schrader

As you know, Wednesday's are a busy day for me. I have therapy first thing in the morning with Sarah, then I try my best to continue on with my day, as if all was perfectly fine. I do all the normal things. Hmmm... normal things? Sometimes I wonder about what normal means. Does it mean I do the shopping? Go out to lunch? Sign a petition? Prepare dinner? Make the bed? Smile politely when someone asks me, "How are you today?" It is such a pat answer, do any of us really expect any other answer than, "Just fine thank you?"

Truth is, most days, even therapy days, are just fine, although therapy days are perhaps my most challenging of all the days of the week. Yesterday... was challenging. I dealt with some more recent things that have been invading my peace of mind. Recent let downs, and losses. Sarah and I talked about Mr. November, and what it means to let go. We talked about how Alan and I are doing really well... and feeling really close. Not that it was an issue or anything, but with marriage comes those inevitable moments of normalcy, which can impersonate mundane with great ease.

Fortunately he and I talk, and we work on things, which keeps us going the right way. And if for some reason we do start to drift, Elvis will make his feelings known. He will have no part of our family not being happy with each other. That cat has been amazing for our marriage. It felt good to share with Sarah that Alan and I recently had a long talk about where our marriage is, and also be able to talk about the past with ease. It was freeing, still, therapy is work. It's hard work, and it leaves me very sad, and very tired at the end of the hour. Thank goodness Sarah doesn't mind that I bring my camera to every session, because right in the middle of all the sadness, I sometimes see the world differently, because right out the window that sits to my right, is the world. And in the world is art...

Art. Art that is sometimes by mistake, sometimes on purpose. Art that speaks to my soul, and reminds me that life is just what is in front of us. Like the weather, it is constantly changing, and I can adjust myself to be comfortable with it, or I can sit on a couch, in my therapist's office in Berkeley, California, and cry, and complain, and wish that it didn't hurt so bad sometimes. Yesterday, in the middle of wishing, I looked out the window, and I saw a record sitting in the window of the building next door. I couldn't make out what the name of the album was, but I felt something when I saw it, so I listened to that instinctual voice in me, that tells me when to snap a photo, and I did just that... I took the picture.

When I got home, I enlarged the photo, and found it was side 2 of the soundtrack to the Broadway musical, "Hair." I was floored. All around Berkeley these days, you can see the very same sights you would have probably seen in the late 60's and the early 70's, when "Hair" was playing on stage originally. Back then it was Vietnam, today it is Iraq. We are still trying to get the message about the decline environment to be heard.We've made progress with Civil Rights, but lost ground on Civil Liberties. People's Park is still filled with the homeless, do you know that over 50% of homeless are veterans? And as I drove past a certain group of protesters, I was impressed to see that they were senior citizens, who were making their voices heard, about the injustice that is coming out of the Bush administration. Damn Hippies! LOL.

As of April 4th, 2007

Sigh. Life is painful. Life is a series of moments, that somehow become years. Can you believe it's been 5 1/2 years since 9/11? Or 4 years since we invaded Iraq? Sometimes it all feels like just yesterday. Life goes by so fast, and before you know it, well... you know... it moves forward whether we are ready to accompany it or not. Life does not ask our permission for anything, but hopefully, if we are very lucky, when we put it all together we are not so sad, that we can't find the strength to acknowledge the losses, search for our own personal truth, and find the art life, not just the pain.

Easy To Be Hard
From "Hair"

How can people be so heartless? How can people be so cruel?
Easy to be hard, easy to be cold
How can people have no feelings? How can they ignore their friends?
Easy to be proud, easy to say no.

And especially people who care about strangers
Who care about evil and social injustice
Do you only care about the bleeding crowd?
How about a needing friend? I need a friend.

How can people be so heartless? You know I'm hung up on you
Easy to give in, easy to help out

And especially people who care about strangers
Who say they care about social injustice
Do you care only about the bleeding crowd?
How about a needing friend? I need a friend.

-OndineMonet
"Another Wednesday"
Berkeley, California
April 4th, 2007
Late Morning

Not So Much A Bombshell, More Like A Hand Grenade

"I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair."

-Bette Davis

I told you I take my camera everywhere. Tee Hee. Last weekend, I finally treated myself to that "day of me" I had planned. I had my coupon from Supercuts for a free haircut, and my coupon from, La Salsa, for a free, Overstuffed Grilled Burrito, and I was all set. I picked a lovely cut, like the one actress, Diane Lane, wears, and I was all set to go blond, till I got into the chair at Supercuts, and fell into the panic attack from hell! Words that hadn't occurred to me previously, such as, BLEACH, BRITTLE, LOSS OF HAIR, UNNATURAL, were swirling about my ears and brain. "Ummmmm.... gulp.... just make me look like Diane Lane. OK?" LOL

Hmmm? Will Alan be disappointed that a blond bombshell wouldn't be coming through the door that night? "I am such a chicken," I thought to myself. Sigh. As I looked through the color book, I pondered, I fretted, I sighed long, indecisive sighs, until I came across a color I liked very much, "Sunny Auburn." Sounded like a nice day in autumn, and come to find out, it wasn't a whole lot different from my natural color, at least as it appeared when I was in my 20's, or what I like to call my... "pre-gray-haired-nervous-breakdown-years." My late thirties were interesting to say the least. LOL. But I have put that time behind me now. :) Sometimes it's so hard to let go of pain, of loss, grief can be a comfortable place after a while. I know it sounds strange, but it was true for me. I had no idea how far I had climbed into myself. Oh well, like I said, that is all behind me.

I like who I see in the mirror. I like my new hair. I feel secure inside my own skin, and confident in who I am. I have my days, don't get me wrong, but I am OK and happy and every day I get the old me, the confident me, back. It was nice to sit alone, over my freebie lunch, and consider where life has taken me, since the last time I visited a salon, 7 years earlier. First of all, had it really been 7 years? Yep, it had. Sigh. I missed a lot while I was on my vacation from living. The Internet has been instrumental in my recovery, but I have a hunger for living more in the "real world." To meet more people, who don't live in a box on my desk.

Please don't misunderstand, I wouldn't trade the experiences I have had, and friends I have made on the NET for anything, but there is nothing like hearing someones voice, or looking into someones eyes, hearing laughter, feeling rain on my face. Is there anything better than the sound of a friend saying, "I love you?" I felt pretty good when I got home from my special day. When I walked through the door, I said to Alan, "Honey, I am not quite the bombshell you expected, I'm more like a hand grenade." To which he replied, "You look lovely, a little like Diane Lane, and besides, a hand grenade going off in my hand can knock me off my feet as well." LOL. Oh Alan! LOL. Sometimes I get the feeling he kinda likes me! ;)

Glamour...

My former long hair, in a pile on the floor. :(

Is there anything better then a sale on hair care products? :)

I thought about getting the "Spector" look. Nah. :)

Does anyone else think that one bear looks a lot like Phil Spector?

My new color "Sunny Auburn"

This is the style I finally chose. Alan says I kinda look like Diane Lane now. I really like Alan! :)

Music Legend Phil Spector's Murder Trial Begins (ABC News)

-OndineMonet
"Heads On A Shelf"
Berkeley, California
March 17, 2007
Afternoon