Okay, Here Goes... Part One: Autumn Friends

 "Death ends a life, not a relationship"

 

~Mitch Albom

Tuesday's with Morrie

 

I said I have two things to share. One will obviously be about the second indictment and subsequent arrest of Donald Trump. That took place on Tuesday, June 13th, but something happened before we all got there. On Monday, June 12th, Treat Williams passed away. It broke my heart into tiny pieces. It was sudden. An accident that never should have happened, but happen it did all the same. A motorist turned into his path, and Treat never had a chance to stop. He was on his motorcycle, and the wearing of a helmet did not prevent other injuries from happening. I thought I would be seeing a tweet from him about the arrest of Trump, but no, he was just gone in the early evening of June 12th. As I sit here writing this it still seems really odd, and surreal that someone so in touch with the joys of life, who still marveled at so much, and who got so much out of the smallest of things, and simplest of moments, is no longer here. 

 

I had followed him on, Twitter, for the better part of a decade. He made me laugh. He made me reconsider my opinions from time to time. I enjoyed seeing his photos from various sets he was on. Movies and tv shows alike. The man never sat down when it came to his craft. I loved seeing his home and family. His property in Vermont was nothing short of paradise. And the trips he took with his various airplanes took my breath away, especially his flights over Vermont during the autumn. From the sky you could get lost in every single color you could imagine, demonstrating autumn wasn't always about earth tones, autumn was vibrant and joyful and beautiful. It was all... so damn amazing, so much so, that the thought of that amazing life being gone so fast, was never in my mind. Why would it be? He was one of the few, if not the only one at times, that didn't dwell on the negativity of life, but rather how to handle it by searching for the light and the joy.

 

That's not to say that he didn't have his moments. Trump could have gotten to Gandhi. One such moment, I don't even know exactly why he tweeted it, but suddenly Treat tweeted, "Shut up and do your job, you big fat baby!" which I have to say, delighted me to no end! I laughed and laughed and used about 200 laughing emojis in the reply form. Sheesh. Maybe my reaction was a little too much, but I felt that way all the same. He had just expressed, what I had always wanted to say, except it was now coming from one of the nicest folks around, which in my mind made it fabulous. It was funny, and appreciated. Then one day, sometime later, I left a comment about one of his autumn flights over Vermont, and something kinda nice happened, if not downright magical, he answered me! A great big movie star answered me, and I blushed, I really did. Treat said he was, "proud to know me". Wait... we know each other?

 

It took me a little while to consider that. It never dawned on me that he knew I was even there, let alone... gulp... know me. Or... yikes... was "proud to know me." Now what? Are we pals? Are we friends? How did he come to that assessment? Was it the things I said in my rambling comments? It's not like one could ask, that would be rude! Imagine this... "Hey buddy... whats that nice comment all about?" Twitter can be a strange place sometimes. Friendships are made fairly easily, and then just as easily folks can disappear from your timeline, for all kinds of reasons, it's never really been something I take too seriously. Life just happens, and it happens on social media too, only with walls that are invisible, but that are as strong as any wall can be. I like walls when it comes to celebrities. On my best day, as a fangirl of 61, I can sound like a nutty stalker, or a childish girl of 16, amazed at the talents of Shawn Cassidy. Who I also follow by the way.

 

So he answered me a few more times, and wished me a "back at you" at Christmas one year, and sweetly sang for us during Covid-19, at my request, although I think he had thought of it first, and was merely,  again, taking the time to answer me. But it was nice. It was always nice. He made folks feel at ease. He made me feel at ease. He felt like a friend. I guess that's okay, right? Do a few interactions over Twitter make you a friend or does the word "hello" followed by a lifetime of happy lunches and intimate sharing of ideas? Things can get fairly deep and philosophical on Twitter, so I know enough to believe we were of like minds, so maybe that is enough, to consider him my friend in the most basic sense of the word. I looked forward to his silly tweets and his opinions. I had respect for him and maybe that is enough.

 

In any case, I know I will miss him forever, he was my friend. He has left a hole in me. No one fills the holes left inside our hearts when loved ones pass, it's the part of us that belonged to someone special. To fill that hole is too much like replacing them. Some folks are irreplaceable. Treat was a part of me, but I will always have the movie, Hair, to watch in the moments when I am feeling blue about things. As scary as things ever got with the world, he had a way of looking at it and reminding us, we could make it through, and we were all connected as part of the tribe. I was so very lucky to connect with such a good person. And how lucky I was that an extraordinary man was proud to know me. I sure hope I made him smile once in a while, because I was so proud to know him too.

 

Goodnight, Treat

God's speed.

 

 

Mr. November... And Suspension Of Disbelief

"Sometimes she sat and let her mind go blank and her eyes go out of focus, so that she watched the slow, jerky movements of the motes that floated across her pupils. They amazed her as a child. Now she saw them occasionally bumping into another body without acknowledgment,

 and then floating on, free and alone."

~Robert Goolrick

A Reliable Wife

I was out leaf peeping around Berkeley the other day, when I spotted a single leaf, seemingly floating in mid-air. I was fascinated. I wanted to just stare at the leaf, and take it's picture, and pretend it was indeed, somehow, floating in the blue space between the trees. Unfortunately, I knew deep down that it wasn't the case, it wasn't some kind of supernatural miracle, but the obsession was amazing while it lasted.

 I allowed the temporary suspension of disbelief for a moment or two, then I took a clearer look forward and found the leaf was resting on the thinnest of silk spider web strands. Apparently the spider and I share a fondness of Autumn leaves. LOL. And impossible situations. It's days like this that he crosses my mind. I wonder where Mr. November is. I wonder if he is happy, and I wonder what it would be like to see him again, even after I have gone to great lengths to never be in his web again. 

Why do I still do that?

Floating On Air

Is suspension of disbelief

Like Autumn leaves, people float in and out of your life... but some are unforgettable!

Leaf Of The Day

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

Art About Town: Berkeley... "In Topaz" By Toyo Suyemoto

"Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt, and poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen."

~Leonardo da Vinci

Here is one more poem, from the Addison street poetry panels. I like this one very much, but then again, most of the poems in this project speak to me. 

In Topaz
By Toyo Suyemoto

Can this hard earth break wide
   The stiff stillness of snow
And yield me promise that
    This is not always so?

Surely, the warmth of sun
  Can pierce the earth ice-bound,
Until grass comes to life,
  Outwitting barren ground!

The eastern states have had a dreadfully snowy season, and I am sure that the first warm spring day will feel like a little piece of heaven! But this poem speaks to me beyond the obvious. It gives me hope that like cold days, cold relationships don't always last forever. Eventually the sun comes out, again, and that cold is nowhere to be found. Not on the mind. Not in the season.

Just forgiven.

Just forgotten.


Mood: Happy

~Me :)

The Love Story Of Donny And Nina (Not Their Real Names) Part II

"It's not lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."

~Friedrich Nietzsche

The graphic above shows where we left off with The Love Story Of Donny And Nina!

The graphic below brings us up to date...



I can't believe they got married! Just last July she was calling him a, "FUCKING ASSHOLE" and threatening to leave his "ASS." And he was willing to "CALL HER A CAB." So, was marriage really the right decision? By the same token, who am I to say what they need to do to fix their problems? That may have been just what they needed to repair whatever wasn't working. I would like to hope for the best for them, but somehow, I don't think their getting married will change much.

And that makes me kinda sad for them.

In a little less than a month, Alan and I will have been married 23 years! Alan is my best friend. My lover. My protector. My champion. He is my love! And we began our relationship as friends, then best friends, then we fell in love. There has never been any disrespect between us... ever. Mistakes yes! Disrespect? No!

Stay Tuned! I don't think we have seen, or heard, the last chapter in the "Love Story Of Donny And Nina!"

"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed."

~Albert Einstein

Mood: Reflective

~Me

Taking A Lamp For A Walk

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do you ever feel like you are walking around, carrying a lamp? I do. Especially in the last week or so. Let me explain...

#1. BART FART

"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple."

~Dr. Seuss

Lately, there have been little bursts of stress coming at Alan and I. Some of it has to do with the on again, off again, sometimes looming, BART strike. BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) literally makes the Bay Area go round. So, the freeways, while congested enough, faces the very real threat of becoming significantly worse. There is nothing that can be done. The situation is in the hands of the union, and BART management, who I have NEVER been impressed by. For now, the strike is on hold through this coming work week, as Governor Brown has ordered an investigation into the last 7 days of negotiations. On the one hand... good news... on the other hand... a dark cloud looms, and with it, quick and sudden changes to Alan's schedule.

#2. THE PARENT TRAP

"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win."

~Stephen King

Sigh. Several years ago, I had to gently help my mother come to the understanding that she wasn't physically, mentally or intellectually able to drive a car any longer. I wrote about the situation on my original AOL Ellipsis blog, in a post titled, "Loving Them Through It." I need to do an Ellipsis Flashback post sometime soon, featuring that post, as I think it might have been one of my very best in the entire 10 years I have been blogging.

Anyway, both my parents are gone now, and there is no need to fret and worry about them. But Alan's parents are both still alive, thank God, because I love them both very much, but like my mother, they are facing the time of life when it's time to begin worrying about their health and well being. But the sticky part of the situation is... they don't want us to worry... so they don't tell us when something goes wrong.

I found out over this past weekend that my parent-in-laws lost a significant... A TRULY SIGNIFICANT sum of money, pretty much their life savings, an amount of money some folks make in a year, when someone that was hired to care for their interests stole it. My Mother-In-Law reported it to the police, a report was taken, but the circumstances are such that it's difficult to prove. I can't say much more than that. But keep in mind, this didn't happen recently, it was almost a year ago, and we just found out this weekend. We found out through a distant relative, that found out a short time ago, and wanted to know if we knew, and see what we could do to help them get it back.

When we found out what happened, Alan and I immediately began Googling agencies and resources, and trying to think of all the possible avenues we could investigate to try and seek both justice, and recoup at least some of the money, but his parents are afraid of retaliation, and therefore will not help in anyway with our efforts. Stress. Age. Frail Health. Need I go on? Mom-In-Law just had surgery for a pacemaker replacement, and will be off her feet for six weeks. Did I mention they live in upstate New York and we live in California? Mom-In-Law called today, crying, and demanding we cease anything we might be doing or try to do to help find the... ahem... asshole skank thief ... who stole their money... as the distant relative calls her.

I have never felt so helpless in my whole life.

Do I honor Mom and Dad or do I go behind their backs and seek justice through the legal system?

I have never felt so helpless in my whole life.

#3. The Traveling Dress

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

~Mark Twain

About 3 weeks ago, I found 2 dresses on an online outlet site. I paid a whopping $14.94 for both dresses, including tax and shipping! One of the dresses is a silver animal print tunic dress, the other is a copper sequined dress, with a silk overlay. If I would have paid full price, the two would have cost well over $300! It was an amazing bargain, and no one loves a bargain more than I do, but there is a downside to ordering bargains, like it taking 3 weeks for the dresses to arrive! The waiting is hard, but watching the dresses as they have gallivanted about the country has been very entertaining. I won't go into details of their itinerary now, I am planing to do a follow up on them later this week, but let's just say, I wish the dresses had the ability to take photos of the cities they visited. LOL.

#4. Excuse Me, Have You Met My Penis?

"Reality continues to ruin my life."

~Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

If you have known me for any length of time, you know I am a Progressive/Liberal/Democrat/Bleeding Heart/ did I say liberal? LOL. Several years ago, I became impressed with a certain congressman from New York. Let's call him... Wanthony Aeiner. Just try and crack that code. LOL. Anyway,  that very same congressman decided one day that it was a nifty idea to send an... ahem... personal message to a woman he met on Twitter, and not just any old message, he decided to message her is DICK. Well a picture of it anyway. But instead of it being a private message, it turns out the genius posted the picture on his Twitter feed for all to see.

His political life exploded. His private life exploded.

I have never believed that sex scandals should ruin any career, let alone political careers. Let's face it, politicians and sex scandals are as old as politics. So, I figured the politician would get out of the spotlight, take some time off to repair his personal life, learn his lesson, and reemerge, ready to get back to work, and that is exactly what happened. And everything was really going well, and he was even the front runner for the Mayor-ship of Metropolis, and then it happened again, and if possible, his latest escapade is worse then the original DICK pic parade. THE DICK.

So now, a promising career, of a truly talented politician, who I still believe is genuinely committed to helping his constituents, is over because he can't stop being stupid! He is like some kind of Idiot/Savant. But clearly the IDIOT is in charge, while the SAVANT is in a self induced shit storm coma. And here is the thing, in the original scandal, he had a lot of women he flirted with, and or had keyboard sex with. Most of which he met on Twitter. I am on Twitter. I was one of his followers. Yet he never engaged with me once, either before or after the original incident!

Should I be insulted? I mean, I am not 20 anymore, but I am not 90 either. Hmmm. But really, all kidding aside, if he had hit on me I would have been flattered, but bottom lining things, I love Alan, and would never jeopardize us, over the likes of a horny politician. The SCHMUCK. And I would have said so had he asked. Who knows why he never hit one me, maybe it was because I was married, and he has a moral code when it comes to marriage. Yeah... that was probably it! All better now!

Schmuck.

#5. Taking The Lamp For A Walk

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and to high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The other day, while in San Francisco, I saw a lady walking down the street, carrying a lamp. It didn't look like a special lamp, but she seemed to like it. She was probably on her way to have it repaired or something, but who knows? Maybe she simply went for a walk with her lamp. After all, would you try to rob a woman with a large brass object in her hands? LOL. I thought about all the possibilities. Was it a weapon for self protection? Was it a gift from someone she loved? Was it her favorite lamp to read by? Had that lamp been her favorite source of light, when things in her life seemed dim? This week, more than ever, I get the need for repairing things that are broken, rather than throwing them away.

I have met some lamps I have refused to give up on.

Relationships are difficult.

The key is to not give up.

Sometimes all you can do is take the lamp for a walk, and hope everything can be fixed.

Sigh.

Mood: Reflective

~Me

A Photo A Day For 6 Months Day 39: Common Interests

"Many realities hidden behind wall of perception."


~Toba Beta, Betelgeuse Incident


I love this picture. I had the best time watching these two... then I saw it... the rhino and the little brown duck are kind of similar in appearance. The coloration and the spots. Both weren't moving very fast, and I noticed that they pretty much stayed close to each other the entire time I spent observing them. I couldn't help but wonder what the two were thinking.


Were the rhino and the duck best friends? Was the rhino the bigger, older, sibling the brown duck had always wanted? Was the brown duck the understanding pal the rhino always wanted? The friend who was secure in their own identity? Maybe the duck and the rhino were both dreamers who wondered what life was like on the other side of the zoo? 


In the end, who knows. I guess I am thinking a lot about family and friendships because of this season of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. The underlying tone of the show has always been about relationships, both the ones we choose to have and the ones we are born into. Some say a friend is better than a family member because you cant pick your family but you can pick a friend.


Yeah... that's true. But sometimes friends can hurt you every bit as much as a family member. I have had my experience with both dynamics. I suppose there is no relationship that doesn't bring the risk of hurt, which is why I tend to go very slowly with relationships. It's an odd feeling to look back over those who have come and gone and know how much I still miss them. Some have passed this world, some moved and some went yelling and screaming in a mad dash out of my life. (Like Mr. November) LOL. I exaggerate... but it kinda felt that way at the time.


I don't know. It's just what it is. I know I like watching animals and their interactions. There is a lot that can be learned I think. Watching the RHONJ has some lessons in it to. I am just sad that those lessons are such devestating ones. I feel bad for the ladies. Life is too short. If only we all had a little brown duck, or a big protective rhino. Right?


"The question is not what you look at, but what you see."


~Henry David Thoreau


~Me :)


I can't believe I have already arrived at day 39! I think it will be easier than I originally thought to reach my goal. Well, so far so good anyway. The key to reaching any goal is to begin with something realistic. I did and then added a month to it. LOL. So, we'll see. 


My pal JR has been posting along with me, and it would be great if you want to join us! Go see what he has posted for today, it's always something great, he is an awesome photographer. Oh, and by the way, coming some time this week, I am going to post some photos of my cameras and the equipment I use in my photography. That would be a great way to join in, so please feel free to participate! Thanks again JR for the inspiration!


JR
http://jrclinephotography.blogspot.com/2012/06/apadf6-38.html

Do You Know What Would Be Really Weird?

"Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude."

-William James

Know what would be really weird? What if Levi Johnston married Kate Gosselin?

Hey, I'm just saying...

Wink

-Carly