skip to main |
skip to sidebar
"A gourmet who thinks of calories, is like a tart who looks at there watch.-James BeardI haven't done a recipe entry since late January, so I thought this might be a good time to do one. I love eating meatless meals. Since Alan had to work last Sunday night, it was the perfect time to have a nice, big salad and some Macaroni & Cheese. :) Oh don't get me wrong, he likes my vegetarian recipes, but he is a BIG fan of good old meat and potatoes. So am I come to think of it, and I hope to be able to start preparing some BBQ recipes for the blog soon. I have started a recipe file blog to keep track of the recipes I have posted, so that I don't inadvertently post the same one twice. I also thought it might be a nice way for you to be able to find my recipe entries more easily, if one in particular sounded like one you would like to try. :) I first made the following recipe about 10 years ago, it took me several tries to come up with just the right combination, but once I did...yum! :)Ashby Avenue Macaroni & Cheese
1 lb.pkg Macaroni noodles
3/4 cup finely crushed Dorito's chips
1/2 cup Sour Cream
1/2 cup shredded Vermont White Cheddar
1/2 cup shredded Yellow Cheddar
1/4 cup shredded Romano cheese
1/4 cup Prima Donna Gouda
1/4 cup finely crumbled Gorgonzola cheese
1 1/2 tbs ground pepper
1/2 tsp. Ground Nutmeg
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Boil macaroni according to package directions. While the macaroni is cooking, shred and blend all the cheese together, except the Gorgonzola, in a medium mixing bowl, set aside. In a separate bowl, combine the crushed Dorito's and the finely crumbled Gorgonzola. Drain macaroni and place in a 2 qt. baking dish. Slowly, stir in the sour cream, and blend well, stir in nutmeg. Next, stir in the dry cheese mixture and stir well to blend. Add additional sour cream if necessary. Top with the Dorito's/Gorgonzola mixture, and bake for 35 minutes in a 400 degree oven until brown and bubbly on top.
Serves 4 1/2 cup servings-OndineMonetAshby Avenue Macaroni & CheeseBerkeley, CaliforniaMarch 5th, 2006Early Evening
"Of course life is bizarre, the more bizarre it gets, the more interesting it is. The only way to approach it is to make yourself some popcorn and enjoy the show."
-Unknown
Ok...I did it. My Mammogram is over with. What a bizarre day last Friday turned out to be. I was a little uneasy, so I decided to call the Breast Cancer Care Helpline, and speak with a volunteer, just to ask a few last minute questions. I am so glad I did. I spoke with a lovely lady named Sue, who was very patient and answered all my question with kindness and patience. She even made me laugh. I had told her, "I was a little unclear about what everyone meant when they said the test is more about feeling a pressure feeling then actual pain." So, she asked me, "How old are you dear?" To which I replied, "I am 43." "Oh," said the nice lady "well you aren't young anymore so that's good." LOLOLOLOL. I loved it! Finally someone was willing to say out loud, what I had been suspecting for a few years now. All those aches and pains, all that forgetfulness, all those weird noises I make when I get up from a chair...means I am OLD! :) Hey, you know what? As it turns out, older ladies like me, have an easier time with Mammograms because our breasts aren't as dense. My brain yes, my breasts...not so much. :) Cool!
So, off I went to Kaiser to face the test. Oh I was very brave, fretting my way to the appointment, and arriving with four minutes to spare. LOL. I stood in line, and then when it was my turn, went to register , except, YIKES, where was my wallet? I can't believe it...I had left home without my wallet. "Oh well, I guess you can't see me." I reasoned with the receptionist. "Oh no, we can still see you, what's you Kaiser number?" Yes, I knew the number by heart. Uggg. So she entered it into the computer and as it turns out, my test wasn't scheduled for the clinic in Hayward, no, it was scheduled to be done in Union City. It was a scheduling error. Sigh. "I can't get clear down to the Union City clinic in 10 minutes. I guess I will have to reschedule. :) "No, it's ok, we can work you in here," said the nice receptionist lady, "No problem at all." Oh goody. So I went and had a seat, and I was called back in 10 minutes.
The rest was pretty routine. Ugly hospital gown, strange little waiting area that sits at the end of a long corridor. It was all very...normal. I changed into the gown, and went to the little waiting area, and as I sat down, I realized how quiet everything was. No sounds of people crying out in excruciating pain. No bells or whistles going off indicating something dire. No, it was very, very quiet. Once I realized that peace, I felt my shoulders relax. Next the knot in my stomach untied itself, and for a moment I closed my eyes and began my meditation. I began to just let my mind wander. I thought about all the emails, and comments of support I have received from everyone. I thought about how caring the Internet can be in times like this. I even thought about what Karen said about squashing out that nasty Fear Demon. "Just say yeah, yeah and squash him with your shoe." I had to smile when I remembered that advice. :) About five minutes went by and they called my name. And now comes the waiting for the results. I feel really strong now, so waiting for the call isn't scaring me, in fact I am paying very little attention to it. The hardest part for me is now over...the part that was unknown to me. The test was so easy, that I am actually looking forward to next year, when I get to have one all over again, because I know I will be taking care of myself. :)
OK, here is where I get obnoxious. Have you had your Mammogram this year? Is it time to schedule one for yourself? And to my male friends...you aren't off the hook on this. Is there an appointment you have been putting off, that you are either due or overdue to schedule? How about a dental appointment? Or maybe an eye appointment? Let's make the month of March, about taking care of ourselves. Please consider taking care of yourself in some special way this month. Come back here and share with me, and others, what you did to make your future more healthy. If you have health coverage, it is a huge shame to not use it to make sure you are healthy inside and out. There are 45 million American's today, living without health coverage. Sigh. It would be a shame to waste something as valuable as health coverage, if you have it available to you. And listen, if you know someone who is scared, who is worried about their first ever Mammogram, you send them to me. If I can face it, anyone can. It really isn't anything to be afraid of, but to not have the test, to put it off, now THAT is something that should be feared.
-OndineMonet
"My Friday Night Date"
Hayward, California
March 3rd, 2005
Late Afternoon
"Life is a B movie; its stupid and it's strange, it's a directionless story, the dialogue is lame, but in the ' he said, she said' sometimes there's some poetry, if you turn your back long enough and let it happen naturally."
-Ani Difranco
It's OSCAR time. :) I like watching the Academy Awards, although I haven't really paid much attention in recent years. Sometimes, I would flip the channels between whatever documentary was playing on the History Channel, and the OSCARS just to se what everyone was wearing. This year I am missing my old friend June. I have mentioned her before, she was the lady who used to insist I come to her OSCAR and New Year's Eve, fancy, smancy parties, and kick up my heels. I would always reluctantly say yes, and within 10 or 15 minutes after my arrival, there I would be, kicking up my heels. LOL. She knew some interesting people. People from all different backgrounds and cultures. She was an interesting and refined woman, who loved the theatre, the symphony and the ballet. She was a free-thinker, and a democrat. She couldn't stand poor behavior by anyone, but she could certainly let loose and enjoy herself. I miss her, but just when I get way too blue in my grief for her, I can hear her saying to me..."Come on kid, times awasting." :)
So tonight, since Alan is working, I will probably cuddle up with my date, Elvis, and get all snuggly warm in my flannel PJ's and eat something sinfully decadent while I watch the program on television. But if I were going to a local OSCAR party, I would definitely be wearing the black dress on the left! It is a Nicole Miller gown, that I found at Neiman Marcus online, just after New Year's. I know that all the fashion gurus are saying this year's red carpet fashions are going to be about color, red is a favorite, but I love the classic lines of this dress, and black is always a good choice. So, to add a splash of color to the outfit I would probably go with some ruby red pumps with a matching evening purse. Something simple and unfussy. I think with that neckline maybe a ruby choker, or a ruby Y necklace would be perfect. You don't want to over do it.
If I was actually going to the Academy Awards...no doubt about it. You can't go wrong the Badgeley Mischka. Again, I found this dress at Neiman Marcus online. I love the color, and it would need very little as far as accessories go. I think I would wear my hair down however, and maybe wear something fun like a Swarovski crystal dragonfly hair clip or something similar. Can you tell I like girly stuff? LOL . Sigh. Well, I will just have to be happy with my cute little Yahoo Avatar attending the awards ceremonies and parties on my behalf. See her on my sidebar? Tee Hee. She is wearing that gorgeous green evening gown, and has her version of Elvis by her side. :) Don't they make a stylish pair? :) I love that avatar, I like change her clothes everyday to reflect as close as possible what I am wearing (IRL). It's a fun way to let a little more about who I am, and what my personal style is like, to shine through. Do you have an avatar on your sidebar? And if so, are they going to the Academy Awards? :)
Now, on to the nominees, and my picks for the winners in the major categories...
Best Film: Goodnight and Good Luck
Best Actor: Phillip Seymour Hoffman- Capote
Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon- Walk The Line
Felicity Huffman- Transamerica
Best Supporting Actor: William Hurt- A History of Violence
Best Supporting Actress- Frances McDormond- North Country
Best Director- George Clooney-Goodnight and Good Luck
Well, that's my thoughts on the 78th Academy Awards. How about you? Do you watch the show? Do you have a favorite to win? Have you ever gone to an OSCAR party or thrown one? If you could go to the actual ceremony itself, who would you ask to be your fantasy date for the evening? And what delicious meal would you want after the awards show? Something prepared by Wolfgang Puck or White Castle? LOL. I'll share if you will! LOL.
-OndineMonet
"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge, but imagination."
-Albert Einstein
Ok, I know, my sense of humor can be a bit juvenile at times, but I thought this sign was funny. LOL. I have always enjoyed the fine art of the "play on words." So I thought this was a pretty good example of such. Keep in mind, before you think me hopelessly silly, that another thing that made this sign so funny, was that when I first saw it I had just had a minor tiff with Alan, and we were being kinda quiet, but the silence was broke when we both looked up and thought the same thought, at the same time, and we just looked at each other in disbelief and began to laugh. Ahhhhhh. The power of laughter, to soothe the soul. :)
I love the latest Round Robin subject choice. Kimberleigh, author of the journal, "I Shaved My Legs For This," has come up with a winner. :) I have a full file of sometimes humorous, sometimes thought provoking signs I have collected over the years, so I am especially looking forward to this challenge. I say that a lot, don't I? Well, it's just that the Robins have impressed me so much with the subject choices that they have been chosen so far. "Secrets," "Mysterious Doorways," "Cliches," "Wabi-Sabi" just to name a few. I think this might be a lot of fun, after all,who doesn't have a town that contains at least one wacky sign in it? But remember, the sign doesn't necessarily have to be wacky, because Kimberleigh's idea is for us to find a sigh that accurately says something about who we are. "It could be a street sign, a billboard, or even a peace sign. Let's just be creative and have fun with it." Kimberleigh darlin, that sounds good to me! :)
The date for this challenge will be Wednesday, March 15th, As usual you can post anytime between the midnights on that day. You can sign up to play at the official Round Robin Challenges journal. Please take a moment to familiarize yourself with the *Welcome Entry & Rules Of Play.* That entry contains all the information and updated rules for the Round Robin Challenges, it can be found on the sidebar. It's really simple, and a lot of fun. I hope you will join us. You know you want to. ;)
-OndineMonet
"Never Enough"
Reno, Nevada
October 25th, 2005
Late Afternoon
"Dance is the hidden language of the body."
-Martha Graham
Weekend Assignment #101: Name a talent that you don't have, that you wish you did.
Extra Credit: Do you have any completely useless talents?
-John Scalzi
Every since I was a little girl, I have wanted to dance. I saw my first ballet when I was about age 5 0r 6, and I thought it was all so very beautiful. From the costumes, to the music...it enchanted me. Alas, it was not to be. I am an ok dancer, but I am very short, only 4ft 11, on a good day. LOL. So most of the dances like ballet or the tango would have looked a little silly, if a munchkin like me were dancing them. And I must confess, I was never could get used to standing on my toes. I have this thing about my feet. I have perfectly normal feet, it's just that I am sometimes...well...a little...uncoordinated. Tee Hee. Alan will attest to the fact that he once watched me fall out of one room, and land clear across the hall in another, and bounce back out! So, when you are a walking slapstick skit...it's best not to bring a bad name to such a beautiful talent. But hey, I can "Froug" like no one's business. :) LOL.
Extra Credit: Yes, I can recite the Declaration of Independence while standing on my head. If you call that talent! LOL.
-OndineMonet
"Ballerina By A Window"
By L. Bomhoff
"Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity."
-World Health Organization
Well, that was a quick two weeks! Later today (Friday) I will be at my doctor's office having my first ever Mammogram. I am scared to death. Well, no it's not quite that bad, but I do have a deep case of the wiggins. The thing is, if this lump that is currently residing in my left breast does turn out to be cancer, I am lucky because I have health insurance available to me to fight it. Some aren't as lucky I am. Another problem I have with the Bush administration, the lack of affordable health insurance for roughly 45 million Americans. According to the Breast Cancer Site, a woman is diagnosed with Breast Cancer, in America, every 3 minutes, and American males that will be diagnosed with the disease will be about 1% of the population. While Breast Cancer mostly strikes men over the age of 60, it's not unheard of for a younger man to contract the disease. It happens.
I am going to go to the appointment, and I am going to live with the results. It's all about the whatifs that might come into play. Dumb huh? Wasting time and energy on what I might have to face. Well, at the same time, it's honest. I am worried about my future, because I can look back to just a few years ago, when I was little more then a walking shell. Completely empty inside. I recovered from that and now I know what I could lose. I think about all the conversations I have had with Alan in the last couple weeks, and how everything in my life is all in order, no matter what the test results are. Still, I think about the sound of Dan's voice the last time we spoke. How angry he got, when he realized I could have taken an earlier appointment, and didn't. Yes, me much bad girl.
He is a good and supportive friend, who deserves better then for me to not even try to take care of myself. The T'ai Chi and Qi Gong have been great for my well being. I am finding it to be a challenge, but I can already see the benefits. My meditation is coming along nicely, and the Lavender aromatherapy masks I bought at the World Market are helping both my sleep and my meditation. Then there is good old laugh therapy. Yoga starts soon, I love the Yoga mat Alan bought me for Valentine's day. It is a nice shade of medium green and has a silk carrying bag with beautiful dragonflies on it. :) Hey...look at that...I smiled just then. :) But it's not enough. I must be proactive and advocate for myself. Just talking about the things I am doing to ease the pain and frustration I have because of Fibromyalgia, makes me feel better. :) Being proactive, has always made me feel better, because at least I am no longer the wilting victim. :) One of my favorite episodes of, "Buffy The Vampire Slayer," dealt with a "Fear Demon," and how no matter how enormous our fears seem, there is a truth that is bigger. That truth being, that once faced, a fear is revealed to be really quite small in it's actual size, once you face it and understand it.
When the Fear Demon appeared to Buffy, it taunted her with her fear of being abandoned by her friends. "They're all going to abandon you, you know." I suppose that is also in the back of my mind. When I became so psychologically ill a few years ago, I retreated into myself. You already know that I lost all my creativity and my sense of humor. Most of my friends couldn't take what I had become, and most of them left my life, either slowly as to not hurt my feelings, or in a glorious declaration of, We can't stand the pain you are in."
Ok...I let them go. I was so inside myself that I didn't know what to say. I don't really have abandonment issues anymore, but you never really forget what it felt like to have those you love leave you because they love you too much. Shrug. That's the past, and I don't even have a clear diagnosis yet. I have a conversation with my doctor, and whatever results my Mammogram brings to light. I am armed with a lot of information about Breast cancer, I have resources, but I think about Sheryl Crow, and how she is only one year older then I am, and already diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I think about the stunning statistics regarding Breast Cancer in Marin County, which I spend a lot of time in taking photos. I also think about the success stories, and how lucky I am to have health insurance, and husband, and friends who love me...just as I am. It's all balance, just like the advice my friend Shelly gave me when I was first diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. "Carly, it's about finding a balance." Thanks Shelly. :) Fear Demon?What Fear Demon? LOL. Okay everyone, wish me luck! :)
All I wanna do is have some fun
I got a feeling I'm not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
I got a feeling I'm not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard
-All I Wanna Do" By Sheryl Crow
Breast Cancer Care Helpline
1-800-462-9273 Monday-Friday 9-5 CST
Susan G.Komen Breast Cancer Foundation
The Breast Cancer Site
-OndineMonet
"Life Is Just This"
Summer, 2005
San Ramon, California
Photo Explosion Created Impressionist Painting
3/2/06
"We have, I fear confused power with greatness."
-Stewart Udall
Yesterday, while I was sitting in my therapy session with Sarah, there occurred two moderate earthquakes. The first registered 2.8 on the Richter scale, the second one came along less then 10 minutes later and registered 3.4 Both quakes occurred along the Hayward Fault and were centered 4.0 miles east-southeast of Berkeley. That would basically be located beneath the Caldicott tunnel, which connects Alameda County with Contra Costa County, here in the East Bay. My therapy session takes place on the 3rd floor of a lovely old building here in Berkeley, one which had been retrofitted after the Loma Prieta earthquake of 1989. That earthquake registered 7.1 It was a scary moment when that quake hit, and despite all the damage it did, and all the tragety and it's aftermath, I am not afraid to live here in California, the beauty of this state, far outweighs the concerns about natural disasters we Californian's live with. Funny thing however, Sarah and I were talking about New Orleans, and the affect Hurricane Katrina had on that city, and the deplorable way the Bush administration had handled the aftermath. Bodies floating in the streets...weeks later. Starving citizens begging for help, and according to a report issued just the other day, the fact that there are still 2,000 people missing, 130 of which are children under the age of 18. Ironic that we were discussing that subject, just as a gentle reminder hit both of us,indicating that we better prepare ourselves here in the Golden State, because as we know now...there will NO help from our own government to look forward to, shouls the worst happen.
Funny how even now, after all this time Bush and company, can still surprise me in their ineptness. This evening, as I am sure as you have already heard, the Associated Press released video proof that not only did Bush lie through his teeth in the days following Hurricane Katrina, he lied BIG, and he allowed Michael Brown to absorb as much blame as possible to try and deflect any soil from his own hands. It's no longer a suspicion...it's a fact. HE LIED. Bush was more then willing to play Russian Roulette with the lives of everyone along the Gulf coast region. Once again, there was Bush, either in full Monty denial or maybe not capable of understanding the big words being articulated to him, reassuring federal, state and local officials that, "We are fully prepared," And the scary thing? He didn't ask one single question during his final briefing one day before Hurricane Katrina hit. He simply showed up for the conference call, while still on his vacation at his Ranch in Crawford Texas, and gave his pat answer for nearly all questions that come his way..."We are fully prepared."
The White House today urged the American public to,"not read too much into the video footage," of Bush being briefed on the situation, I suppose we should continue to be good little sheep and believe everything he says. Not believe our own eyes, because lets face it, we may not be able to trust ourselves to disseminate information correctly. Pay no attention to the fact that four days after Hurricane Katrina made landfall, Bush declared, "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees." I am sure what he actually didn't anticipate was a video of him being warned of the dire possibilities...repeatedly.
George Bush and the White House has had ample time to own up to what has happened, but instead we have been given story after story about how it was everyone else's fault but the fault of the most powerful man on the planet. George Bush. How much more can America take from a man who will not own up to the devastating condition America has been left in since his taking office? How many more lies will come forth? And how about the fact that his conveniently not here at the moment to answer these question for himself? This man is hell bent on turning over our ports to the UAE. How frightening is that? He didn't even know that deal had been made, until he watched the reports , along with us, on the evening news.
Our president is THAT out of touch. And what does he have to say in a recent interview with ABC News anchor Elizabeth Vargas? "What kind of message would it send, if we say it is ok for one country, such as British to have these contracts and not an Arab country? I don't know about you...but I don't care if we send a message that we are favoring one country over another...I want to feel safe...PERIOD! And when asked about the handling of Katrina and it's aftermath, he continued to make weak justifications. "Listen, here is what happened with Katrina. There was no situational awareness, and that means that we weren't getting good, solid information from people who were on the ground, and we need to do better." He looked Elizabeth Vargas in the eyes...and those of us who were watching the interview, and lied, instead of being a man, standing up, and saying...I take responsibility. It lies with me. I was briefed, and did nothing. I didn't ask any questions during the briefings by the experts, that were trying to warn me, that a devastating hurricane was about to make landfall. George Bush used the words, "situational awareness," no less the three times when trying to justify why the Katrina situation was handled so poorly. Ironic isn't it? And when asked in the same interview how he felt Homeland Security chief, Michael Chertoff was doing, he replied, "He is doing a fine job." Sound eerily familiar to anyone?
And again, as I was typing this, yet another small earthquake happened. This latest one registered 2.6 and was centered roughly the same place as the earlier ones. Sigh. It is serving as a, so far, gentle reminder that disaster can and will strike, either by man or by nature. We had better have learned some lessons after Hurricane Katrina, such as we are each responsible for ourselves, should the unthinkable occur. The simple act of putting together an emergency kit, that is well stocked with food and provisions for our pets as well, will not only save our own lives, but it will be helping to save the lives of those who can't provide for themselves. It will make us one less person to be taxing what recent history has taught us will be an already overtaxed government resource system. Tomorrow, Alan and I will be investing in a newer, larger pet carrier for Elvis, and we will be stocking up on some additional special food he needs for his diet, and some comfort toys. He is a responsibility we don't take likely, so of course we will be taking care of him, should disaster happen.
Sigh. Listen, we in California began the year with storms pounding the Napa region of Northern California, which also did damage all the way down to parts of Marin County. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, was in Washington earlier this week to ask the White House to declare California's levee system a disaster area, and to ask for additional federal funding to shore up our levee system which is currently over 100 years old, and in need to repair and maintenance. Nothing has been said yet by the White House, and the people who were directly affected by the flooding that took place earlier this year, remain "cautiously optimistic." I am not so optimistic, not until I see that our president is actually going to send the funding will I see the light at the end of the tunnel. So tell me, 6 months after Hurricane Katrina, and a lot of truth later, have you prepared yourself for what might happen in your neck of the woods? Don't break my heart and tell me you have become complacent. Share with me what you have done to take care of yourself.
-OndineMonet
"People go to the zoo and they like the lion because it's scary. And the bear because it's intense, but the monkey makes the laugh."
-Lorne Michaels
Sometimes I think I have an entire zoo living inside me. LOL. On some days I am a turtle, moving very slow and hiding in my shell, and some days I could be described as a sun bear, because I love to lie in the sun and just soak it up...just being a bear, so actually there are a lot of animals I could choose to describe my inner animal, but on one particular visit to the San Francisco Zoo, a few years ago, I saw an orangutan make a statement for all to see, that I completely understood, just by making eye contact with him. He was having one of those days!
At the end of a very trying week, Alan surprised me on Saturday morning by packing a picnic lunch for us and whisking me off to the zoo. He knows how much I love spending time with the animals, and getting some fresh air. For a few hours our of that week...no one in the world knew where I was. Ahhhhhh. LOL. My favorite animals at the zoo are the Lemurs, Chimpanzees, and the Ape exhibits. There was a pretty nice bench right in front of this guys enclosure, so I sat down to watch him for a while.
It was early in the afternoon, and the zoo wasn't too crowded, but this orangutan had already had a bad day. Something had happened to upset his feelings, because he seemed a little tired and a little sad. At one point he got completely tired of the gwakers making silly noises and pointing to him to try and get his attention. Well, completely fed up, he grabbed his Rubbermaid garbage can and his warm brown blanket and dragged both of them to the top of his jungle jim, climbed in, put his brown blanket over his head and then peeked out as if to say..."Get Lost!" LOL It was the cutest thing, and oh boy, did I ever admire him for knowing when to say, enough is enough! LOL
I have been trying to figure out one specific animal that best describes my "animal within," ever since Derek came up with this topic, as an idea for this challenge It's hard for me to narrow it down to just one. I love animals, and I think I have at least one for every one of my moods. LOL. I always think of this orangutan whenever I feel overwhelmed by life, and appreciate the lesson I learned from him that day. Now, I never leave home without my blanket. Thanks Derek, this was a lot of fun. :)
Be sure to visit the other Round Robins, to see their interpretations of this challenge. Just click on the link below, and be sure to visit the Round Robin Journal this Thursday to find out the topic of our next challenge. :)
Derek- Derek's Picture of the Day (AOL)
Through My Eye's (Blogspot)
Karen- Outpost Mavarin
Carly-Ellipsis...Suddenly Carly
Deslily-Here There And Everywhere (AOL)
Here There And Everywhere 2nd Edition (Blogspot)
Sara- Animated Seasons
Nancy- Nancy Luvs Pix
Julie- Julie's Web Journal
Kimberleigh- I Shaved My Legs For This?
Dorn- Through the Eyes of the Beholder
T.J.- Photo Inclusions: Every Picture Tells A Story
Steven- (sometimes) photoblog
Tess- First Digital Photos
-OndineMonet
"Enough Was Enough"
San Francisco Zoo
San Francisco, California
"Our happiness depends on the habit of the mind we cultivate. So practice happy thinking every day. Cultivate the merry heart, develop the habit of happiness, and life will become a continual feast."
-Norman Vincent Peale
I was over at my friend Shelly's blog, "The Malt Shop" which is her meme journal, and I found this cute little one called the "Friday Feast." This my first time playing, but y'all know how much I enjoy doing these, so I might do this one again soon. If you want to play along, just click on the link above and go to the journal that originally created this meme. Thanks Shelly, for the information. :)
Friday Feast
Appetizer
Choose one: Moving to another state, having triplets, or never being able to eat chocolate again.
Wow! I don't ever see myself living in another state, but I don't see me being the mother of triplets , so, I guess I would give up chocolate. I like chocolate a lot, but there are other sweets I enjoy just as much. There is still so much of California I haven't experienced with my camera, that I don't think I could just give it up...at least not quite yet. :)
Soup
Name a news story that truly shocked you.
It seems like I am continually shocked at the arrogance and mishandling of everything the Bush administration touches. New Orleans is still hurting so badly that is makes my soul hurt. I guess that was the last big shock I felt, the way New Orleans was handled. :(
Salad
What was your very first job?
Don't hold this against me. LOL. The very first job, just out of college was as a telemarketer. I wasn't obnoxious however, I could take NO for an answer. LOL.
Main Course
If you had the chance to read the diary of someone you're really close to, would you? Why or why not?
No, I think everyone has a basic right to privacy. I think that if I really knew the person, then I already know what I need to. We all have secrets...don't we. We all have secret moments of thought and observation that belong to us, until we share willingly. I would never betray a relationship to satisfy a curiosity.
Dessert
What's something you are looking forward to?
I am already looking forward to the free concert on the beach in Santa Cruz, that starts again . We had such a good time last year, I still smile when I think about it. Alan has decided to take 4 Friday nights off this year so we can go and make a day of it at the Boardwalk, lie on the beach and soak up the sun, go to the concerts then end the day by having dinner at Gilda's, on the Santa Cruz Wharf. :)
-OndineMonet
"A Friday Feast"
Santa Cruz, California
Friday, August 12th, 2005
5:30 PM
"Style is the mind skating in circles around itself, as it moves foreword."
-Orson Welles
Your Monday Photos Shoot: Get something that screams the 1980's. Get it in picture form! This can include things you have around the house that are from the 80's, or alternately, is a picture that is so obviously from the 80's itself.
-John Scalzi
"When the workin' day is done,
Girls just want to have fun
Oh, girls, just want to have fun." -Cyndi Lauper
For girls, the 1980's were about accessories! Clothes mattered, remember when I shared that I practically owned everything in Maddie Haye's closet? But it was the flashy, clunky jewelry, and designer fragrances that made the whole 80's look come together. I never left the house without my hair and make-up just so very 80's. LOL. So what fragrances does a mermaid wear? Well, it depended on the time of day. For daytime, it was Chloe, for afternoon and early evening it was Oscar De La Renta, and for evening it was Christian Dior's Poison. I still wear these fragrances to this day, Poison is my favorite scent, but I have added other contemporary perfumes to my favorites. It can't give up on one of my favorite decades. I had a lot of fun back then, but I am glad I am where I am today. :) One thing still rings true however...
"When the workin' day is done
Girls just want to have fun
Oh, girls just want to have fun."-Cyndi Lauper
-OndineMonet
"80's Flashback"
Berkeley, California
February 27th, 2006
Afternoon
"Though my soul may sit in darkness, it will rise in perfect light. I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
-Sarah Williams
If you have been reading me for a while, you probably know all about my love of lighthouses, and that I am a history buff. Last autumn, I took a short trip down to Jack London Square, in Oakland, to satisfy my interest in both subjects. You see, docked at Jack London Square is not only the presidential yacht The Potomac, but so is the lightship, Relief 605. The Potomac was once dubbed, "The Floating White House," because it is said that President Franklin D. Roosevelt, spent more time on his boat, then he did in the actual White House. Each of these ships possesses a unique and interesting past, but for this entry I am showing you only the lightship. I will save The Potomac for another day. :)
The story of America's lightships began in 1820 and they served our coasts for over 163 years, when the last one was retired in 1983. Between the years, 1820-1983, 116 Lightstations were established along America's three coasts. The first lightship was placed in Chesapeake Bay while the Nantucket station was the last one to be automated. Each of these floating lighthouses have an anchor which weighs 6,500 lbs, and allows the ships to anchor in place through all types of severe weather. Lightstation ships were named either BLUNTS or OVERFALLS. This particular ship was an OVERFALL, and was assigned to a lightstation off the Delaware coast in 1951.In 1960, she was transferred to Cape Mendocino BLUNTS, which was a reef station, along the Northern California coast. It wasn't until 1969 that she became a relief ship, aiding and relieving all of California's remaining lightships. The Relief 605 was decommissioned in 1975 and went through several owners before she was donated to the United States Lighthouse Society, by Mr. Alan Hosking of Woodside, California. The Relief 605 was designated a National Landmark, by the Secretary of the Interior in 1990. She is open to the public for tours, and she is a beautiful. :) If you come to California...you must go and visit her. :)
-OndineMonet
"Relief In Sight"
Jack London Square
Oakland, California
October, 2005
Afternoon
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying."
-Woody Allen
A few years ago, when Costco began selling coffins, I thought it was a creepy idea. I mean who wants to purchase one's final resting place from a place where one can also buy a 50lb. bag of kitty litter, a box of 500 count paper plates, a 24 pack of assorted muffins, 16 pounds of dry beans, the complete DVD set of Sex In The City, a 2 gallon container of polyunsaturated vegetable oil, a 6 pack of Stagg chili, a 12 can case of Libby's Vienna sausage, a case of Ritz Bits, a double box of Captain Crunch,1000 Kotex tampons and the special edition version of Tootsie? I mean, how embarrassing would it be to be standing in line with all those items, plus the deluxe model of the "Comfy Cozy Coffin 4000? Especially if you were to encounter someone you knew. "Hi Carly, doing a little light shopping? Oh, my, is everything ok?" Now there you are...trying to explain that your morbid purchase was simple estate planning. LOL. It could be awkward, although after reading the following story, on AOL News earlier this evening, I have to admit, the idea has taken on some appeal for me.
Three people from Brooklyn, New York, were charged this past week with selling body parts , they obtained from funeral homes throughout the New York area. It seems that a number of death certificates had been forged by the defendants, Michael, Mastromarino, Lee Crucetta, Christopher Aldorasi, and Joseph Nicelli. Mastromarino, was the owner of Biomedical Tissue Services, of Fort Lee, N.J. All four men pleaded guilty to charges of enterprise corruption, body stealing, opening graves, unlawful dissection and forgery. Their indictment is only the first of many to come. The scandal involves a large number of funeral homes and hundreds of bodies, including that of Allister Cooke, former host of "Masterpiece Theatre." Prosecutors said that the ring took body parts from people who had not given their consent for donation, and altered death certificates to indicate that the deceased were younger then they actually were. Then they sold the parts through Biomedical Tissue Services, to tissue suppliers that were eventually used in disk replacements, dental implants, and other procedures conducted across the United States and Canada.
The thought of my own here after has never really bothered me, in fact I have a somewhat morbid sense of humor about it...always have. When I was asked once, in an ethics class in high school, what I wanted my headstone to say, I facetiously replied, "Here Lies Carly, LIke She's Never Been Laid Before." LOL. A couple years ago when John Scalzi asked the same question for a Weekend Assignment installment, I came up with, "Here Lies Carly Known For Her Dot, Dot, Dot, But Now She's Just Not, Not, Not!" LOL. I also thought once upon a time, that it might be nifty to be laid to rest in Tupperware, as long as someone remembered to burp me. LOL. There are things we have no real control over, so I just never spent much time fretting about my future after I am done on earth. Except in the spiritual sense.
I have to say however, I don't think I would want something funky like this to happen to me. Funky happenings in the here after should be my decision, like having my head frozen or donating myself to science, so some cute up and coming physician can practice on me. I would feel useful in that, and since I am not that modest, I wouldn't be embarrassed in the slightest. So, now that I am older, and I know of the expense of such things, I have put some serious thought into my future and beyond, and I have written my wishes down. When I go, I want to be cremated and placed in an urn with Elvis, and Alan, assuming they go first. Alan liked that idea as well, so at least we are on the same page. Lucky for us, Costco also sells urns, yea us! LOL. I'll take a case of Fig Newtons, 100 ct bag of Ling-Ling Eggrolls and the Family Size urn on the left. :) One final note, Michael Mastromarino, owner of Biomedical Tissue Services, went into the tissue business after losing his dental license. Morbid much!
-OndineMonet
"Snow Covered Sky"
North Lake Tahoe, Nevada
February 7th, 2006
Afternoon
"Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you."
-Unknown
When I was blogging exclusively on AOL, I swore that I was a member of the very best journaling community on the Internet. I didn't mind that AOL didn't have all the custom bells and whistles that other blog servers did. I didn't mind that there was irritating quirks from time to time with the software, because I had realized, not too long after I began Ellipsis, that it wasn't the bells and whistles...it was the individual people who wrote in those journals and blogs that made it the best journals community on the Internet.
Friendships formed on the world wide web can be difficult to maintain. The first friend I ever made, I met in a chat room. She was a lovely lady and we shared many things in common. We unfortunately parted ways over a situation that somehow couldn't be resolved, or at least it seemed so at the time. I still think about her often and I always wished her well, and I still miss her happy energy. Sometimes in life things take odd turns and often it really isn't anyone's fault, everyone has a comfort zone or a code of ethics and therefore they must do what's right for them. I miss her however...even to this day.
The next friend I made, I made by accident one day. I was lonely and decided to reach out so I decided to see who was online in the AOL member directory. I saw someone's profile who seemed to share a lot of my interests, and we talked for a little while, and we have been good friends ever since. It was a nice, happy surprise. I was weary of friendships of any kind, I was just beginning to emerge from Anhedonia, and was a little tired. I tried to go out on a limb, I mean, what's the worst that could happen? As a matter of fact...what was the best that could happen? That's right I made a very good friend.
But back to Journal Land. I think an even bigger surprise, then finding a good friend in the sea of strangers that is the AOL Directory, was finding a whole community of friends that shared my passions. Politics, history, art, music, cats, cooking, ghosts, museums, you name it, and along came a friend. I can't tell you how good it felt to learn little by little I was interesting to someone. I now have had some of these friends for nearly three years. People who I can email when I am in a panic and say, "I am scared, will you think good thoughts for me?" People who I can just be myself around, and who already understand before I even say what the problem is. Recently I asked some of my friends to do my Johari Window. I was surprised at how many took a couple moments to help me with that fun little meme. Thanks again everyone. I guess I take it for granted that I am nothing special, not because I have low self esteem, but because I am surrounded with people who possess great talent and who are compassionate and endearing.
When a good portion of AOL bloggers and journalists made the decision to join in the exodus from AOL to other parts of the Internet, I didn't fear for a moment that I would lose anyone who I had come to care about. I brought them with me and they are on my sidebar or in my bloglines listing. I have had some difficulty keeping in touch as well as I want to, but they are in my heart all the same. It's a good feeling to know that I am still among some of the finest people I have ever known.
Recently, when I needed some support due to some health concerns, I received some very special emails and comments, that both informed me about what to expect from my coming Mammogram, and suggestions about how to ease my nerves as the date for the test approaches. See, I wasn't feeling very courageous earlier last week, but with the help of my friends and readers, I feel good about going in for my test next week. And I promise to keep you up to date. In fact, I am taking the digital camera with me, so you never know what photos I might decide to post! WINK!
As if my heart wasn't warmed enough, I got a very nice email the other day from my darling Natalie, she emailed me to ask if it was ok if she wrote an entry about me. I was touched that she thought enough about me to do that, I smiled the rest of the day. After the entry posted, I found out that Paul, author of the journal, "Aurora Walking Vacation," had also mentioned me and my current journal in an entry and Karen said that she had as well. It was overwhelming, but in a very nice way. I have to admit, my first reaction is always, "what do they see in me?" A good friend responded to that question the other night with, " you can make people smile, and you listen...sometimes that all people really want...someone to listen." I like listening, when I do, I hear all kinds of music. Yeah, that's what it's like...each journal author is like a different song, playing for the world to hear, if the world will just take the time to listen. Natalie is a song, Karen is a song, Steven is a song, Paul is a song. I have always enjoyed all kinds of music, and I am so lucky to be just one note in such a beautiful symphony. And yeah, if I had met Einstein, I think he would have liked me. :)
PS If you haven't done my Johari Window yet and would like to join in the fun, just go here. And if you make one and want me to play along either email me the link or come back here and leave me a link. :)
-OndineMonet
Make your own silly Einstein pic here.
Note: I found the fun Einstein site by way of, "By The Way." LOL. Check out John Scalzi's entry here.
"If you want to know your future look at what you are doing right at this moment."
-Tibetan Proverb
Weekend Assignment # 100: Share 10 facts about yourself...from the next five years. Imagine what you see happening over the next half decade and then tell us about it, in interesting fact form. You can be serious, or silly, or somewhere inbetween. But give it some real thought and then take a stab at your future facts. If you find 10 facts too much, just do five. Either way it will be fun.
Extra Credit: So, who will be president in 2011?
-John Scalzi
A Half A Decade Ago...
The "could be" account of the last five years.
(A maybe future as documented in semi-fiction).
It's a little past midnight on February 23rd, 2011. Five years ago, I decided to write down John Scalzi's Weekend Assignment #100: Fact's From The Future, in a special journal to see if indeed I not only made it to this year, but also to see if my dreams and goals actually came to fruition. It's been so long, that I am not sure I remember them correctly, so let's open the special envelope that has held them for half a decade's time. Or is that really a good idea? Oh well, a lot has happened...so let's see if my future dreams came true or if my worst nightmares got in my way...
February 23rd, 2006 12:00 A.M.
Berkeley, California
Weekend Assignment #100: Facts From The Future.
Hmm...10 facts, about me, that will occur in the next five years. Jeepers. Well, I know that right now my number one concern is getting myself into a regular routine of (1) T'ai Chi and Meditation, with that working right for me, then I can finally move on to my goal of(2) attending the Academy Of Art University. I want to earn a degree in Digital Photography, so that I can walk into a gallery, or a magazine office somewhere here in Northern California and interview with confidence in my work so I can begin make a living through my love of photography. In the mean time, I still continue to work on my book, "Silver Key."(4). I have been pleased with the pace I have kept lately, so five years from now I would love to look on my book shelf, that sits above my desk, and actually see it in print. Because it has been difficult lately to take photos and write as much, and they way I would like to, I have taken up drawing. Alan seems to think I do well at it, and I have to admit I like how it relaxes me. The (5th) goal I have is to learn to paint. I would like to transfer some of my floral and still life photographs onto canvas.
On a more practical note. I want to feel better in five years. I will only be 47 and I want some of my energy back, that will mean keeping a commitment to myself to keep up with both my psychological counseling and my body, mind and spirit regimen. That is goal number (6). Goal number (7), would involve being able to finally let go of people, places and things that have hurt me over the years. Looking back is not a good thing, when all it brings you is negativity. There is so much to embrace about life. Maybe I will go back into volunteering. As I sit here right now, I don't have an 8, 9, or 10 prediction of the future. I think I will let future history write itself. When I get to February 23rd, 2011...I will know what those significant moments would have been, and I promise to share every detail, so you will just have to comeback and visit me five year's from today. :)
Extra Credit: I have been happily enjoying the first term of President Barack Obama. He and his Vice President, Barbara Boxer, have worked hard to unite the country and bring us back to hope. It's a good feeling indeed.
-OndineMonet
"Sweet Still Life"
San Mateo, California
February 23rd, 2006
Afternoon
"We ought not to treat living creatures like shoes or household belongings, which when worn with use, we throw away."
-Plutarch
Several years ago, on a warm, sunny autumn day, I was driving in my car, around Berkeley, just taking in all the sights that only occur in fall, only in Berkeley. Leaves of gold, crimson, yellow and dark brown falling silently to the earth, enthusiastic young men and women on their way to and from the grounds of Cal-Berkeley campus, and the mist off the bay, as it slowly floats up into the hills, each day, in the late afternoon. It can be intoxicating, if one just stops to observe it all at once. Clearly, to drink it all in properly, it should be savored slowly, by the observer, experiencing each street, each neighborhood with eyes wide open, to the uniqueness of it all.
Indeed, if you drive throughout Berkeley, you will find something off beat in each neighborhood that will stimulate the senses, be it a single flower in someone's well manicured yard, or an antique hobby horse on a driveway of a house in the hills. It might be an Art Deco sundial sitting near a recycle bin, or even the annual display of discarded sofas that sit, waiting to be recycled, in front of the frat and sorority houses that make up the neighborhood directly in front of the university. As I have emerged from my psychological coma of several years ago, I have come to realize that out that each season, there comes a different phenomena that happens unique to that season, such as the sofas in autumn. In winter, we seem to have a parade of shoes.
I went for a ride in the afternoon, this past Christmas Eve, looking for what Berkeley had to offer in the way of the unique, and mixed with the sights of late autumn, were the sights of the new winter. The sun with that certain glint that only occurs when the sun is close to the earth, there were fancy decorations proclaiming, "Peace On Earth," and "Happy Holidays," and everywhere mixed among the usual observance wishes, were apparent spontaneous displays of shoes. Sometimes they would be in a cluster of 20 or so hanging from telephone lines, or wrapped around the branches of trees, sometimes they would be placed with care at the front gate of a simple house on Collage Avenue. Or like in the case of the shoes in the above photograph, they might simply be placed in an open area, all clean and waiting for their new owner, as if fate would somehow lead the shoes to who they were destined to be owned by.
One incidence in particular I found fascinating, pertained to a pair of sneakers, that were placed on top of a Payless Shoe Source box that was sitting on top of a recycle can on Shattuck Avenue. They were used, but seemed to be in good condition, so I think what might of happened was, someone bought a new pair, took off their old ones, and instead of throwing them away, left them to be picked up by someone who perhaps had no shoes. What a nice thought. Sometimes I can't imagine what life would be like, if I didn't have my camera to see the world by. I think in the hectic flow of day to day life, I would miss a lot of journeys, both my own, and of others, if not for my camera. My camera slows me down, and shows me life has all kinds of views, if you look at it with eyes wide open.
"The journey of 1000 miles, begins with a single step."
-Lao-tzu
-OndineMonet
"The Shoes"
Berkeley, California
December 24th, 2005
Late Afternoon
"The eyes see a thing more clearly in dreams than in the imagination awake."
-Leonardo da Vinci
Is this a cool picture or what? That is the Digital Retinal Scan of my hazel/green left eye. I wish I could say I took the photo, I think it is the coolest thing. I think it kinda looks like the Aurora Borealis. How about you? So tell me, what do you see when you look into my eyes? ;) Leave me your thoughts. :)
-OndineMonet
"My Green Eyes"
Walnut Creek, California
February 9th 2006
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without it's springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road."
-Henry Ward Beecher
A couple more of the books I ordered from Amazon.com, "The Idiot's Guide To Meditation," and " The Idiot's Guide To Yoga," finally came in the mail the other day. I have been reading a lot lately, whether it be to understand my Fibromyalga, or to expand my meditation skills, or even to refamiliarize myself with Qi Gong, it has been a good feeling to learn additional skills in order to care for myself and learn to deal with the changes that have taken place since I was formally diagnosed. For example, I learned the other day, from one of my books, that in India, they use humor as a form of meditation. They take their humor seriously. In fact, they take it so seriously, that they actually have designated squares and parks where one can go and just meditate through laughter. You just start laughing. You don't need to have anything in particular to laugh at, you just jump right in and laugh until it hurts. :) I LOVE that idea. God, doesn't it feel so good to have your sides hurt because something has touched your funny bone just that much?
I learned to laugh at myself years ago. I haven't begun to tell you about all the weird times and situations I have found myself in over the years. Humor is just a part of who I am...and I have to say...I thank GOD for it every day. I wish however, that we American's could have a similar place to go, a park, a town square or something similar to let go of whatever stress we have in our lives, that might be taking not just future moments, but indeed future years off our lives. Stress causes all kinds of physical and psychological ailments to happen to us. Hypertension,and heart disease, just to name a couple examples. Laughter, on the other hand, boosts immune function by raising levels of infection-fighting T-cells, which are disease-fighting proteins called Gamma-interferon, and laughter also releases endorphins, the bodies natural painkiller. Makes sense to me. I have seen it in action in my family. Those who had NO sense of humor, seemed to be sick constantly, while others who DID have a sense of humor were able to kick whatever affliction that may have come along. So I do have some practical examples to follow...and I plan to. :)
The sound of laughter seduces me. I love people who aren't afraid to laugh out loud and as loud as they want to when they feel it well up in them. God it's a good feeling, and really it is one that is to be shared...often. So tell me, when was the last time you made someone laugh? Did you tell them a joke? Did you make a funny face? Did you commit some kind of foible and laugh along with them? Share it with me. Leave your story in the comments section, and let everyone know what you did to help someone live a little longer, by giving them the gift of humor. Come on, if I can share, so can you. I will tell you right now what I plan to do this week, so hold on to your dentures. On whatever day I feel the best this week, I am going to go to the closet, open my box of found, fake boobs, put on an extra pair and go to the mall. Only maybe I will mix and match. You know, a size 32-AA on one side and a size 40-DD on the other. LOL. That will make the one side of my boobages to appear as a 84-DDDD! Yep, I am a 4.11ft and I have 44-DD's how I never tipped over is beyond me. LOL. Who says GOD himself doesn't have a sense of humor? :) Now go be funny...you know you want to. :)
-OndineMonet
"I Don't Care"
Please click on the above image to see the larger version.
"You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star."
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Your Monday Photo Shoot: Take a picture (or find a picture) of something with stars...the "twinkle, twinkle" kind, not the "famous people" kind. However, they don't have to be real stars: Fake stars...like the ones on Christmas trees, on neon signs or on the Hollywod Walk of Fame are just fine, too.
-John Scalzi
Don't you just love Nietzsche. LOL. I think he's right though, I would have to chaos in me if I gave birth to a dancing (star)fish. LOL. I have always enjoyed gazing at the stars, and these stars were beautiful. I stood at the tank, in the museum room at the Point Arena Lighthouse, for what seemed like forever. They just mesmerized me. :) They would stay in one place for a little while, then they would just let go and float for a while. They were lovely. :) It was a truly relaxing way to spend an afternoon...gazing at the stars. :)
-OndineMonet
"The Stars"
Point Arena Lighthouse
Point Arena, California
August 21st, 2006
Afternoon
Just goes to show you, even in the best of marriages, come those moments of total and complete exasperation! :) LOL :)
Precious And Few
By Climax
Precious and few are the moments we two can share
Quite and blue like the sky, I'm hung over you
And if I can't find my way back home
It just wouldn't be fair
Precious and few are the moments we two can share
Baby it's you on my mind, your love is so rare
Being with you is a feeling, I just can't compare
And if I can't hold you in my arms
It just wouldn't be fair
'Cause precious and few are the moments we two can share
And if I can't find my way back home
It just wouldn't be fair
'Cause precious and few are the moments we two can share
Precious and few are the moments we two can share
Quiet and blue I'm hung over you
And if I can't find my way back home
It just wouldn't be fair
'Cause precious and few are the moments we two can share.
-OndineMonet
"Precious And few"
Palace Of Fine Arts
San Francisco, California
Spring, 2006
"Worry does not empty tomorrow of it's sorrows, it empties today of it's strength."
-Corrie Ten boom
The other day my favorite girl in the land, Phinney, sent me a link to The Breast Cancer Site. They have a program running right now where you can help ladies who either have no medical insurance or who are low income receive a free Mammogram, just by visiting their site each day and clicking the appropriate button. That's right...every time you click on the "Fund Free Mammograms" button, or make a purchase at The Breast Cancer Site's store, you generate funding for women in need. It was ironic, Phinney's email came to me at an unusual moment, and a timely one, see I had just made the decision to schedule an appointment for myself to have a Mammogram. It seems that I have a lump in my left breast that wasn't there a month ago, and it is a pretty good sized one, which means it has grown rather quickly.
Yikes. Things might be getting a while lot more interesting for me. I first found it early last week, and immediately went into some very comfortable denial. I am prone to cystitis and therefore that is what it must be, or so I had decided to think of it. By Tuesday, I thought I better talk it all over with Alan. He is pretty level headed and he would more then likely tell me that it was nothing. Nope! He didn't let me off the hook. What a thing to discuss on Valentine's Day. Sigh. Wednesday, I went to see my therapist, and I took my portfolio book with me to show her the new photos I have done lately. It was a wonderful attempt at manipulating the conversation onto a safe topic. Somehow, I ended up telling her about my fears. Silly me. Another someone who wasn't willing to let me off that hook. I promised her I would make an appointment for a Mammogram sometime in the next month or so, as soon as I got my courage up. She was not pleased. :(
I went home, cried some, looked up some Breast Cancer facts on the Internet and called and schedule an appointment for about a month from now. While I was doing my Internet search a good friend "Dan" signed on, and we chatted for a few minutes. He asked me how I was feeling, and I mentioned, in passing, what was going on for me. It was the first time I actually told a friend. He got pretty angry with me. Someone close to him had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer several years ago, but she was lucky, they caught it in time and today she is doing wonderful. "If she would have waited another couple weeks for the Mammogram, it all could have gone a lot worse. These things change quickly Carly." Sigh. He had been the harshest one of all. He spoke straight. Before we signed off he made me promise to change the appointment. Since I promised him I would...I did. My new appointment is in 2 weeks.
It's just that it has been so much the last few years. One thing right after another. Can I handle this also? God, the thought of the test alone has me scared to death. Will it be painful? My current condition of Fibromyalga sends these missignals to my nerve endings telling me I am in pain, when it fact if it wasn't for the condition, it would be a minor annoyance and not the overwhelming aching I have most days. So, when I have my test, will it be unbearable or like I said, a minor annoyance of pain? Sigh. I have had some time to think it all over, and if it is cancer I really only have one option. Face it! Be prepared for additional changes in my life, so many brave women have gone through this, what right do I have to be a coward about it? So, with resolve to take things one step at a time, I got out my Breast Cancer awareness pin, put it on, and circled the date of my appointment on my calendar.
No illness will ever define me. I want to write. I want to take photographs, I want to be the kind of woman that people will be able to say one day, "she always tried her best." It makes me sad to think I might lose my hair, but I guess I could wear hats. It makes me sad that it will be difficult on Alan and Elvis, but they say we will handle it. It makes me sad that I might have to lose time in my therapy with Sarah, but she said we can have sessions over the phone and maybe the Internet. It makes me sad there might be one more reason that I can't take pictures, but like a good friend once told me, I can try setting up the tripod in the bedroom. There is just no good reason to not take care of this, except for the fact that I am scared to death I won't be good at it. Does that make sense?
OK, here is what I need from you. If you have ever had this test could you please leave me a comment and tell me what to expect? How long before I get the results? If they need to do a biopsy...how bad will that be? Please tell me whatever you feel comfortable sharing with me. Help me be more educated on this so I can take some of the fear out of it. The fear of the unknown is my greatest fear. I can hear the word cancer, as long as I have some idea where I go and what I need do next. And one more thing you can do for me...go and click that little button at The Breast Cancer Site everyday for those women who aren't as lucky as I am. Tell me I can do this. :(
-OndineMonet
"Transitions"
Berkeley, California
February 16th, 2006
Late Evening
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us, cats look down on us. Pigs treat us like equals."
-Winston Churchill
I really like the topic for the next Round Robin Challenge. Derek, author of the journals, "Derek's Picture of the Day," and "Through My Eyes," has chosen, "The Animal Within," as our next challenge topic. I like topics that make me think and ponder a bit about what image I will use to properly convey my interpretation. Sometimes an idea will hit me right away, other times I really have to search my creativity to come up with the correct photo. That's why it's a called a challenge I suppose. :)
Derek has set no restrictions for the interpretation of this challenge, so while I know that Dragonflies are in actuality insects, not animals, there is a part of me that idenifies with them closer then most other creatures. In lore, the dragonfly is considered the power of light. When it comes to being an amateur photographer, I like to think that my photos are full of light, and that I bring that ambiance to my blog when I share what I see with you.
Also according to lore, dragonflies inhabit two realms: air and water and the influence of both of these will be felt by people who identify with dragonflies. They will be emotionally passionate in their youth, ( the influence of water) and they will be more balanced and possess greater mental clarity and control as they mature, (the influence of the air). I think this has been very close to the way life has been for me, especially now that I am learning about how important it is to find a healthy center in life, and achieve greater peace through meditation, T'ai Chi and Yoga. It is working wonders for me already. :) I think I will be adopting the dragonfly as my official symbol, but there are a couple animal traits that live inside me, and add to who I am as a person. So you will have to come back here to Ellipsis...Suddenly Carly, on Wednesday March 1st to find out which ones. If you have a guess as to which animals I identify with, feel free to leave a guess in the comments. I would enjoy reading your guesses. :)
If you want to play along with us for this challenge, you would be more then welcome to come along. Just drop by the official Round Robin Challenge journal and leave your name, your blogs name and the complete URL of your journal as your RSVP for attending the challenge. Please take a moment to read the full entry describing the challenge. We have had some recent "Rules of Play" changes that you should be aware of before playing. Nothing complicated I assure you. It's a lot of fun and so are those who play. I hope you will consider joining us, come on, you know you want to. WINK. ;)
-OndineMonet
"Dragonfly"
Berkeley, California
February 17th, 2006
Evening
"The purpose of life is not to be happy...but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that lived at all."
-Leo Rosten
Were one week away from the 100th Weekend Assignment, and for this week's assignment, we have the final AOL member-suggested topic, from Aim2theright:
Weekend Assignment #99: "What do others think they could do to make a difference? It doesn't have to be life-altering, as the smallest conception can bring the biggest results." In addition to things you could do, I'll also add in the if you are currently doing things you think make a difference, you can mention those too.
Extra Credit: Name someone you know who you admire for making a difference.
-John Scalzi
I have this really unreasonable goal in life, simply put, "I want to leave folks better off then when I found them." I decided that this is how I wanted to try and lead my life this way after watching the way my family treated others. Like hurting others was a sport or something. I had to do a lot of damage control, even from a young age, until one day I wised up and realized it wasn't up to me to make up for the shortcomings of people around me, nope, I was only really responsible for my own conduct...not the conduct of others. So, fast forward to August of 2003. I started my journal Ellipsis, with NO idea what to do with it, and then it became apparent. Sharing my life, the things I see and hear, the photographs I enjoy taking, the challenges I face, the joys that fill my soul, loves I left behind, and even the romantic specter, "The Ethereal Musician," all reaches out to those who read me and says, "Hey, your not alone, and neither am I." Isn't that a wonderful feeling? So, at this time in my life, that is what I have to offer. Myself.
It's simple but it's true. If I can make you smile or laugh, if I can make you ponder something you never considered before, if I can share an idea or political observation and you find it interesting or provocative, then I feel like I have done something to make that particular day worthwhile. I know every comment I have ever gotten, including the ones from folks who thought I was oh so wrong, have only made me strive to be a better writer and person. One of the most rewarding entries I have posted to date, was the entry I wrote about the "Port Chicago Disaster," and it's aftermath. I actually received more then one email from readers and friends who said they had never heard that such a situation had ever happened. It felt good to pass on what I had learned, and share that important piece of history that somehow didn't make it into most history books, if indeed any. So, I will toot my own horn here a bit, and say that I think I make a difference by blogging, because I have a lot to share...and learn. See how nice that works out for both of us? :)
"Unless someone like you cares a whole lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."
-Dr. Seuss
-OndineMonet
"What I See"
Westbound HWY 24
Berkeley, California
February 15th, 2006
12:30 PM
"Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made and forgot to put a soul to."
-Henry Beecher
I am tired tonight, and not in the best of moods. I did some T'ai Chi today, and I am pretty sore tonight, but I it's down to below freezing tonight, after a week or so of higher then normal temperatures. February can be a moody month. Hopefully I will get down to Oakland soon to photograph the geese and other birds at Lake Merritt. It's kinda fun to have that to look forward to. If all goes well, I will do some Qi Gong in the morning then go out and do some photos. :) We'll see. :)
-OndineMonet
"From The Rain"
Berkeley, California
February 2006
"If it's not fun, you're not doing it right."
-Bill Blasso
Sometimes I think maybe my "Kick up your heels and let the good times roll," days might be over. But in reality, I just need to pick and choose how I let the good times roll. Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and I woke up ready to celebrate the day. The sun was warm, so I was feeling pretty energetic, and when I went into my office I found I had a big box waiting for me. It was a gift from Alan. That nice man went out and bought me a gorgeous dessert set from Bed bath & Beyond. It is a serving for four and it is a country cats pattern. I was thrilled! See, Alan didn't know it, but I had reserved an ice-cream cake from Baskin Robin's. I called him at work and thanked him for my nifty new present, and told him I had something special for him to pick up on his way home. How does chocolate cake with chocolate mint ice-cream sound? :) I have to say, there is something completely decadent about eating an entire ice-cream cake in the middle of the afternoon, with someone you really kinda like. :) There was one more surprise waiting for me, he fixed dinner for us. A grilled steak and veggies. Ok, so maybe it wasn't party till you drop, but we had a really good time. :) Thanks goes to Tess, for picking such an awesome challenge! Be sure to visit the other Round Robin participants.
-OndineMonet
"Good Times"
Berkeley, California
February 14th, 2006
Afternoon
Round Robins
Tess...First Digital PhotosPosted!
Carly...Ellipsis...Suddenly Carly Posted!
Karen...Outpost Mavarin Posted!
Chris...My Photographic Life
Derek...Derek's Photo of the Day Posted!
Betty...My Day My Interests
Julie...Julie's Web Journal Posted!
Sara...Animated Seasons Posted!
Celeste...My Day And Thoughts
Dorn...Through The Eyes Of The Beholder
Sassy...Sassy's EYE Posted!
Steven...(sometimes) photoblog Posted!
DesLily... Here There And Everywhere 2nd Edition Posted!
"Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love."
-Albert Einstein
Omar Pigglesworth knew it was love the moment he looked into the eyes of one Miss Sophie Jane Pridenporker. Not only did she have the most astounding eyes he had ever seen, but she had a pair of chops that wouldn't quit. See, Omar was a chops man. He tried however, to keep a professional relationship with the delicate, yet comely chanteuse, but he lost his heart when they were requested to perform the song of the ages for all lovers at the Barnyard Valentine's Soiree..."Don't Go Breakin' My Heart."
Don't Go Breakin' My Heart
As sung by Pigglesworth and Pridenporker
Omar: Don't go breakin' my heart
Sophie: I couldn't if I tried
Omar: Oh honey if I get restless
Sophie: Baby your not that kind
Omar: Don't go breakin' my heart
Sophie: You take the weight off of me
Omar: Ah honey when you knock on my door
Sophie: Ooh, I gave you my key
Omar/Sophie: Ooh-hoo, and nobody knows it
Omar: But when I was down
Sophie: I was your clown
Omar/Sophie: Ooh-hoo, and nobody knows it
Omar: Right from the start
Sophie: I gave you my heart
Omar/Sophie: Ooh-hoo I gave you my heart
Omar: So don't go breakin' my heart
Sophie: I won't go breakin' your heart
Omar/Sophie: I won't go breakin' your heart
Omar: And nobody told us
Sophie: "Cause nobody showed us
Omar: And now it's up to us babe
Sophie: Ooh I think we can make it
Omar: So don't misunderstand me
Sophie: You put the light in my life
Omar: Ooh you put the sparks to the flame
Sophie: I got your heart in my sights
Omar/Sophie: Ooh-hoo, and nobody knows it
Omar: When I was down
Sophie: I was your clown
Omar/Sophie: Ooh-hoo, and nobody knows it
Omar: Right from the start
Sophie: I gave you my heart
Omar/Sophie: Ooh-hoo I gave you my heart
Omar: Don't go breakin my heart
Sophie: I won't go breakin' your heart
Omar/Sophie: Don't go breakin' my heart
Yes, alas, it was indeed love at first sight, they both knew it to be true. She was quite a babe, and he now knew he could no longer fight his feelings. The next song he sang that night was, REO Speedwagon's "I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore," and it became their song. Sigh. :) Awww Amore! AMORE!
-OndineMonet
"A happy family is but an earlier heaven."
-George Bernard Shaw
Your Monday Photo Shoot: Show us a picture that represents love to you.
-John Scalzi
Is there anything more romantic then a love that never gets old, never wears thin and withers, and that never dies? When a pair of swans mate, they mate for life, and so does every generation after that. I watched this Swan family all last spring and summer at the Palace of Fine Arts, in San Francisco. There were groupings of about five or six families, but this particular family stayed pretty close to one side of the pond. It was sweet, romantic and life affirming to watch. Now that is what love should represent. Total and complete, unconditional love for each other.
-OndineMonet
"The Family"
The Palace Of Fine Arts
San Francisco, California
Spring/Summer 2005
"Cats are dangerous companions for writers because cat watching is a near-perfect method of writing avoidance."
-Dan Greenburg
I love this cat, but I have to admit the above quote is so true...watching Elvis can use up and entire day. :) I have owned so many pets in my lifetime, dogs, chickens, rabbits, a roadrunner for a brief time, a pair of geese, a hamster, a guinea pig, parakeets, love birds and an assortment of other animals, but Elvis is by far the most charming of them all. I have actually seen folks who swore to me that no cat has ever been worth what a dog is...fall instantly in love with Elvis inside of 10 minutes after meeting him. Maybe because he is a happy boy and anxious to please, maybe because of his gentle nature or maybe because his natural body oils make him smell like baby powder, but he charms those he meets, just like he has Alan and I. I adore this boy...he is my guy! :) Be sure to drop by Steven's journal and see this week's picture of Pickle for Feline Friday. He is quite the charmer as well. This week he is particularly cute. I can only imagine what it would be like to have both Pickle and Elvis in the same room at the same time. Tag team charmers. Ut oh! :) On a literary note, I did manage to gain some forward momentum in my book writing. I had been somewhat blocked, not because of Elvis so much as my lack of energy. I am pleased with them amount I managed to get done. Moving forward...that feels nice. :)
NOTE: Ooops. I mistook Harley for Pickle! LOL. Both kitties are too gorgeous, go have a look see for yourself! :)
-OndineMonet
"My Guy"
Berkeley, California
February 8th, 2005
Evening
"Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil."
-James Allen
The drive to Lake Tahoe last week was stunning. I saw the clear, glistening water in the lake, the snow on the hillsides, so white with sparkling iridescence, and they sky was a shade of blue that I had never seen before. I even saw a few trees, with leaves that looked like they were left over from last autumn. Maybe that was just the color of the leaves for that particular tree no matter what the season is, but for a moment or so, I was back in autumn. For a moment, it was so clear that I swear I could taste warm, spice apple cider in my mouth. It was vivid, but it was only my perspective.
Do you suppose everything is equally specific to everyone? When I stop to take a photograph, it's because I see something specific in it. Something completely unique to me in the moment. Maybe that is why I tend to revisit the same places over and over, and then bring the images back here to my blog. I can see the Golden Gate Bridge, from Fort Point, a hundred times and yet I always feel little when I stand beneath it. The sky never looks the same, nor does the fog as it rolls under the gate. It's always like I am seeing it for the first time...everytime.
I am that way with people as well. I have shared with you about the first time I met the November man. How can 20 or so years can go by and he not look a minute different to me. I look into his blue/gold eyes and I am always hopelessly lost. Sometimes I think that if I could just sit and stare for an hour or so into those eyes, with no words being spoken between us, I would eventually see all there is to see. I don't think I would survive it. I wish I understood how he can have such an affect on me, and the minute I walk the other way, I forget what he looks like. Maybe it isn't poor eyesight on my part, maybe it is just my bad memory.
Memories fill us sometimes, don't they? Vision makes it all come together in color and depth. There are times, and places, and people I would love to forget, but not if it meant never seeing a visual phenomenon, such as an eclipse or the shade of a lovers eyes again. There was this day...forever ago...when I was moving to a new apartment. It was May and there was a warm late spring rain happening. I was moving some boxes to my car and he was helping me. The rain began to pour and I looked like a wet kitty cat. I asked him if he had a hair dryer, and he just stopped, looked at the top of my very unstylish hair, and slowly moved his eyes down to mine, where he just smiled and spoke not one single word. He just smiled, in a moment that lasted forever. In that moment...I was in that moment. How could it be? HE found me beautiful? Funny how sometimes the very best gifts we can get, cost nothing, aren't wrapped in pretty paper with bows, and don't ever have to be given back.
To the casual observer, I was a mess, to the November Man I looked beautiful. How different we all seem to see the same object or person. The beauty in a heart's smile, the ugly in a smug smile. Some go to the water and feel afraid of it's loud laughter, others like me want to join in and laugh with it. Some fear a big wave rushing onto the shore, I want to run out and meet it. It's a funny thing vision, it is all in what we choose to see. I wouldn't give up the bittersweet of knowing him, if it meant I had to give up looking into his eyes, then or now. What I would change I suppose, is that once I care about someone, I care about them for life...my life. Just when I think every single empty room in my heart is full...along comes another thing to stretch my heart further, and that never leaves. Music, pets, art, foods, hobbies, books, life. Jeepers, I am such a schmuck! :)
-OndineMonet
"Looking Out The Window"
Placerville, California
February 8th, 2006
Morning
