Have A Large Glass Of Holiday Whine...

"Once upon a time, the Reindeer took a running leap and jumped over the Northern Lights. But he jumped too low, and the long fur of his beautiful flowing tail got singed by the rainbow of the aurora. To this day the reindeer has no tail to speak of. But he is too busy pulling the important sleigh to notice what is lost. And he certainly doesn't complain."

What's your excuse?"

~Vera Nazarian

The Perpetual Calendar Of Inspiration

I have never needed a reason to complain during the holidays. Lets get some out of the way, shall we?

1. It's too damn cold!

2. I want it all and I want it now! What? I can't have it NOW? BAH HUMBUG!

3. Why is everybody so gripey? 

4. Did I mention it's cold?

5. Did I mention it's TOO DAMN COLD?

 6. Not another pair of slippers! Why do I keep buying myself slippers?

Wait... I can't take it no more! I can't stand to hear my own whining anymore!

It's December 1st!

Cheers!

If you have anything you would like to whine about, feel free to share it in the comment thread! Anything! Consider it my gift to you for this holiday season!

 Happy Holidays!

Leaf Of The Day

December 1st 2015

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

How Many Reindeer Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

"Money's scarce, times are hard, here's your fucking Christmas card"

~Phyllis Diller

I thought it would be fun to change things up a bit by lightening the mood of my blog a bit! We are getting closer and closer to Christmas, and I am really beginning to feel the holiday spirit! Everything is lovely outside, well, except for the lack of autumn leaves, but I did find some pretty wonderful trees, not too far from where I live, and I am going to do some photography outside later today!

I might even do some photography in my rose garden this afternoon, as I got a lovely surprise as I found one small yellow and pink rosebud on one of the newer roses in my garden! It is about to bloom, and I can't believe that the frost didn't damage it! It is so delicate! If the weather holds as it is another few days, I will have a lovely rose to bring in for the bud vase! Is there anything quite as lovely as roses in winter? I am a happy girl! :)

 Now, how about some fun...

Christmas Humor...

Q: What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
A: Anything you want, he can't hear you!

Q: What goes "oh, oh, oh?"
A. Santa Walking backwards

Q. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
A. RUDEolph.

The Four Stages Of Life...

1. You believe in Santa Claus
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus
3. You dress up like Santa Claus
4. You look like Santa Claus

Christmas Mondegreens...

The Christmas Song

(Wrong)
Jeff's nuts roasting on an open fire, check for snipping at your nose; You'll tide carols being sung by the fire, and folks dressed like Eskimos.

(Right)
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose; Yuletide carols being sung by the fire, and folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Good King Wenceslas...

(Wrong)
Good King Wences' car backed out, on the feet of heathens. When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even."

(Right)
Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the feast of Stephen. When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even."

 Christmas Time Is Here...

 

And Now The Answer To The Question Asked In The Post Title...

A: Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!

Just Remember Boys And Girls...

"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer!"
~Mitch Hedberg

Happy Holidays!

Mood: Festive

~Me :)