#3 Halloween... All One Can Do Is Laugh!

 

 

 

 “The wind outside nested in each tree,

 prowled the sidewalks in invisible treads like unseen cats.
Tom Skeleton shivered. Anyone could see that the wind was a special wind this night, and the darkness took on a special feel because it was All Hallows' Eve. Everything seemed cut from soft black velvet or gold or orange velvet. Smoke panted up out of a thousand chimneys like the plumes of funeral parades. From kitchen windows drifted two pumpkin smells: gourds being cut, pies being baked.” 

~Ray Bradbury,

  The Halloween Tree

 

Note: Okay, as sometimes happens a YouTube will remove a video or make it no longer available. All one can do is laugh! So, since this post has changed, here is an alternative idea to stay in the spirit. Whose ready for some Laughs?

 

Jokes!

 

Q.Why don't witches wear flat hats?

 A. Because there is no point to it. 

Q. What did Dracula name his car?

A. Vlad The Impala.

Q. What do you call a ghost chicken

A. A poultrygeist.

 

Find more Halloween themed jokes over at Buzzfeed.

 

I never a John Carpenter movie I didn't love, well, with the exception of Escape From New York, but we will discuss that some other time. Halloween is again, from my time, and it was then, and continues to be now, my favorite horror movie, and that's a difficult thing to determine when you not only love horror to the extent I do, but as I said, love all the movies John Carpenter has ever made. Well, with the exception of... well, you know. LOL.

 

This copy of Halloween is from YouTube, and is the TV version, but it's still fun, and the commercials are kept to a minimum. But it also contains scenes not on the DVD, so that makes it kinda neat to watch, if for no other reason the dated references and nostalgia for the time. And who doesn't love listening to Linda go on about her school books?

 

The Michael Myers house is located in Pasadena, California, and is now a museum dedicated to the movie. I hope to get down to Los Angeles in the next year oh so, probably in October, so I have that landmark high on my list of must visits. Hell, I may put on a costume and walk around the neighborhood whether it's Halloween or not! Perhaps I could get a costume together, similar to the clothes Jamie Lee Curtis wore in the film. She purchased the outfits from J.C. Penney, so how much easier does it get? And I get new clothes! LOL.

 

If you like, let me know in the comments, if this is a good touch for my blog. I know you can look up this stuff pretty easily, and get it with better resolution, and sans commercials, but it's a new way of sharing about what makes me, well, me. So feel free to let me know how you feel in the comments, or if you are a pal, send me an email or contact me on Twitter, or if you prefer to call it, X. By the way, in case you never noticed before, the fictional town of Haddonfield is supposed to be in Illinois, but in actuality it was filmed in Southern California, so be sure to count the palm trees that can be seen throughout the movie. LOL. Cheesy fun! Just remember, Halloween is...

 

The Night He Came Home.

 

 

 

How Many Reindeer Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

"Money's scarce, times are hard, here's your fucking Christmas card"

~Phyllis Diller

I thought it would be fun to change things up a bit by lightening the mood of my blog a bit! We are getting closer and closer to Christmas, and I am really beginning to feel the holiday spirit! Everything is lovely outside, well, except for the lack of autumn leaves, but I did find some pretty wonderful trees, not too far from where I live, and I am going to do some photography outside later today!

I might even do some photography in my rose garden this afternoon, as I got a lovely surprise as I found one small yellow and pink rosebud on one of the newer roses in my garden! It is about to bloom, and I can't believe that the frost didn't damage it! It is so delicate! If the weather holds as it is another few days, I will have a lovely rose to bring in for the bud vase! Is there anything quite as lovely as roses in winter? I am a happy girl! :)

 Now, how about some fun...

Christmas Humor...

Q: What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
A: Anything you want, he can't hear you!

Q: What goes "oh, oh, oh?"
A. Santa Walking backwards

Q. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
A. RUDEolph.

The Four Stages Of Life...

1. You believe in Santa Claus
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus
3. You dress up like Santa Claus
4. You look like Santa Claus

Christmas Mondegreens...

The Christmas Song

(Wrong)
Jeff's nuts roasting on an open fire, check for snipping at your nose; You'll tide carols being sung by the fire, and folks dressed like Eskimos.

(Right)
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose; Yuletide carols being sung by the fire, and folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Good King Wenceslas...

(Wrong)
Good King Wences' car backed out, on the feet of heathens. When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even."

(Right)
Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the feast of Stephen. When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even."

 Christmas Time Is Here...

 

And Now The Answer To The Question Asked In The Post Title...

A: Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!

Just Remember Boys And Girls...

"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer!"
~Mitch Hedberg

Happy Holidays!

Mood: Festive

~Me :)

This Above All...

Carly's Chicken Bella Gusto (my original recipe)


This above all: to thine own self be true
And it must follow, as the night to day
Thous canst not then be false to any man.

~William Shakespeare, Hamlet

My goodness y'all... Paula Deen has had a bad week! Well, actually the last few years have been rough on the lady from Savannah! First came the news that after having lived a rather butter filled life, butter this, and butter that, she had contracted Type 2 diabetes. As much as I don't care for the lady, I didn't jump for joy to find out that she had been given that diagnosis, but what did bother me, a lot, was the fact that she knew she had diabetes for at least a couple years before disclosing it. Does she have to share the intimate details of her life, just because she is a celebrity chef? No! Certainly not, but what was disturbing to me was the fact that she was give the diagnosis and then continued to come up with new and exciting ways to help others contract the disease. It was irresponsible. If she had come out with the fact that she was in for a culinary lifestyle change, and perhaps incorporated some slimmed down versions of her dangerous recipes into her cooking shows, I would have not only applauded her for her honesty, I would have gained a world of respect for the lady. Instead it was revealed that she had been given a nice fat contract to act as spokesperson for a new insulin drug, and that was the true driving factor surrounding the disclosure.

Damn... that's sad.

Well, everyone lost their collective shit over the incident, and things died down, but now here is that southern belle in yet another pickle. This time over allegations of personally using racial slurs, and turning a blind eye to her brother's behavior of sexual harassment and the using of similar slurs as well, therefore creating a hostile working environment! The whole thing blew up this week, and only got worse when Paula admitted to using the slurs in a certain context several years ago. By yesterday, Friday, the damage had been done. The Food Network has fired her! And oddly enough, I feel kinda bad for her. I usually feel bad for anyone who finds themselves in this kind of circumstance. This was a situation that didn't have to happen, had Deen been a little more mindful of other peoples feelings. You know what I mean?

I think all of us have had a moment when we have thought something less than kind towards someone. I can admit right now that I have thought of the bad neighbor I have as being an idiot. Dumb. Useless. Stupid. Mean. You name it... I have thought it, and sometimes said it, especially to Alan, because you can tell your spouse anything, especially when you just need to express some stress. The simple truth however is that you can't indulge in the depths of negativity too long. You see, along with my father teaching me about politics, he also taught me there was a time and a place for everything, but there was never a time for using hurtful language toward someone. Racial jokes aren't funny. Neither are sizest jokes or gender jokes. Does that mean I have never laughed at a blond joke, no, I would be lying it I said that, but the personal jab is where I begin to tune out the comedy.

Sigh.

I am glad we have moved to a more politically correct world than when I was a child. I am a short lady. I am 4'11 on a good day, so I have been the object of many a short person joke. Frankly... I can take a joke. You kinda have to develop a thick skin or sink into despair from the insensitivity of others. It didn't happen over night, but now no one is better at making fun me than me. I know myself better than anyone in the world, including Alan. I know my strengths. I know that because of my Fibromyalgia I will make a mistake with my speech every single day. I am not exaggerating. EVERY SINGLE DAY. So if I can't laugh at myself... well... life would be intolerable.

Laughing at one's self is a strength. Laughing at other people... not so much. The use of self restraint when someone is getting on your last nerve... a strength. Reducing a fellow human to an ignorant racial slur... not so much. Using the counting to 10 method before reacting when someone is upsetting you is a strength. Not putting any thought into the weight your words carry because you are upset and you want to hurt them back... not so much. When you think about it, being politically correct is more for you than anyone else. It's about who you want to be inside. Sitting here, right now, I wish I had stopped while I was in the middle of my angry rant toward my neighbor, I wish I would have tried to express myself on a less angry level, rather than lobbing the expletive filled verbal salad at his head.

He got on my last nerve and the shit literally hit the fan! Of course on the plus side, he merely tries to annoy me now, rather than completely piss me off, which is a good thing... I think!?

LOL.

Will it ever happen again. I hope not. But you never know. Human here. But being human can't be used as an excuse! And believe me, I am trying really hard to remember that.

I imagine things will be difficult for Paula Deen in the next few weeks and months, but hopefully she will take some time to reflect. Perhaps this was a lesson she needed to learn. All the most profound and meaningful lessons seem to hurt us the most. Well, at least that's been my experience. But hey, anything that encourages us to grow as a person can't be all bad. If we remember to forget the blame and accept the lesson. I wish the lady luck. And one day, perhaps not all that long from now, she will be back, a little less butter laden, and a little more mindful.

We'll see.

And now, here's a little dessert. A simple Strawberry/BlackBerry on Buttermilk Biscuit. Type 2 Diabetic friendly of course!



YUM!

Mood: Reflective

~Me :)

Oh Yeah, That's The Spot! An Elvis Update :)

"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life."

-Unknown

Me: Hey Elvis, what do you call a person who steals cats?

Elvis: I don't know mommy, what do you call a person who steals cats?

Me: Glad you asked Elvis, you would call them a purrr-snatcher! LOL

Elvis: Uh Huh.

Me: Hey Elvis!

Elvis: Yes Mommy?

Me: Why did the kid try to feed pennies to the cat?

Elvis: I don't know, why?

Me: Because his mother told him to put the pennies in the kitty!

Elvis: (Rolling his eyes) Oh brother!

My cat Elvis puts up with a lot from me, he is especially patient with me when I tell him silly cat jokes! LOL. He and I have a ton of fun together, our most recent fun has come from a snippet of colorful ribbon, which he loves to chase and catch. He also received a brand new squeaky mouse from his daddy this past week, and we are enjoying that as well. I have attached it to the ring on my desk drawer, and several times a day Elvis tries to pull it away for some chewy fun. Unfortunately, it tends to snap back, but that's ok with my boy, he enjoys a good challenge! :)

Elvis had his second dose of chemotherapy last Thursday, and all seems to be going well. He is eating his meals, and is more playful now then he has been in months. When he was first diagnosed, he was so wee and weak, but he has perked up and is such a joy! Something even more encouraging has been happening the last week or so, he is now back to climbing up on the bed to sleep with us at night again. When he wasn't feeling well, he would isolate himself. That broke my heart. I am afraid I don't sleep as well without that little bundle at my feet watching over me. :)

It's difficult to remember sometimes that he is dying. I know about all the realities, but he is such a good cat. So funny, so happy, so sweet. I don't know if it is particualry helpful to dwell on things when he is enjoying life so much right now. That inevitable day will be here soon enough. Right now the three of us are embracing life. We do a lot of laughing. I think that makes all of us a little healthier. :) I am so thankful to Dr. B and his staff for making this time as positive as possible. I know I am living the miracle I hoped for right now, with Elvis, each time I hear his happy little giggle.

So tell me, does your cat giggle? What is the quirkiest habit your pet has? If you would like to read more cat jokes, just click the link below! :)

Cat Jokes

-OndineMonet
"Oh Yeah, That's The Spot"
Berkeley, California
June 12th, 2008
Morning