Showing posts with label Lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lessons. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Baby It's Cold And Very Dark Outside

"When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon, or you will be taught to fly."

~Patrick Overton
The Leaning Tree (Poems)

Things are mighty dark at the moment, but you don't need me to tell you that. With each passing day, I get a little more frightened of what will come out of the Donald Trump presidency. Right now, a week after the election, there is talk of deep infighting behind the scenes, and flagrant betrayal of some who supported Trump from day one! ( cough... Chris Christie ). Christie has an approval rating of just 2% in New Jersey, because, I expect, he became a Trump supporter, almost from day one, and lets not forget that bridge scandal (Bridgegate) which just sent some of his closest staffers to prison!

 As if the whole situation wasn't seedy enough, there is the request of unprecedented power for the grown children of Trump, and his son-in-law Jared Kushner. Kushner seems to be running things behind the scenes, and there is NO love lost between he and Christie, as it was Christie who sent his father away for political corruption. Now, if that's not enough, throw in some awkward use of Donald Trump's political standing for the promotion of their own merchandise, and it's a full blown circus! It's tacky. It's unethical and it's wrong, but there you are ladies and gentlemen! American's ignorantly wanted to shake things up, well done, mission accomplished! 

Baby, it's cold... and very dark... outside. 

For the first time, in a very long time, when I try to look into the future, and see what my life might be like a year from now, I don't see anything. It's just darkness. I don't see next autumn like I usually do. I don't see my birthday or the summer months that I love to complain about. I don't see swimming in the pool. I don't see anything. I just see darkness. I can't picture it. Not at all. If it's depression causing this, it's a different kind of depression than I have ever had before. I have suffered from deep bouts of hopelessness in the past, and eventually maneuvered through, but this feels different somehow. The future is just a cold, dark, silent place. All I can see is tomorrow, but next week isn't there. 

Right now its just...
 one dark day at a time.

For now, each day is about finding the solid ground.

Leaf Of The Day
November 16th 2016


Mood: Quiet

~Me


Saturday, June 22, 2013

This Above All...


Carly's Chicken Bella Gusto (my original recipe)


This above all: to thine own self be true
And it must follow, as the night to day
Thous canst not then be false to any man.

~William Shakespeare, Hamlet

My goodness y'all... Paula Deen has had a bad week! Well, actually the last few years have been rough on the lady from Savannah! First came the news that after having lived a rather butter filled life, butter this, and butter that, she had contracted Type 2 diabetes. As much as I don't care for the lady, I didn't jump for joy to find out that she had been given that diagnosis, but what did bother me, a lot, was the fact that she knew she had diabetes for at least a couple years before disclosing it. Does she have to share the intimate details of her life, just because she is a celebrity chef? No! Certainly not, but what was disturbing to me was the fact that she was give the diagnosis and then continued to come up with new and exciting ways to help others contract the disease. It was irresponsible. If she had come out with the fact that she was in for a culinary lifestyle change, and perhaps incorporated some slimmed down versions of her dangerous recipes into her cooking shows, I would have not only applauded her for her honesty, I would have gained a world of respect for the lady. Instead it was revealed that she had been given a nice fat contract to act as spokesperson for a new insulin drug, and that was the true driving factor surrounding the disclosure.

Damn... that's sad.

Well, everyone lost their collective shit over the incident, and things died down, but now here is that southern belle in yet another pickle. This time over allegations of personally using racial slurs, and turning a blind eye to her brother's behavior of sexual harassment and the using of similar slurs as well, therefore creating a hostile working environment! The whole thing blew up this week, and only got worse when Paula admitted to using the slurs in a certain context several years ago. By yesterday, Friday, the damage had been done. The Food Network has fired her! And oddly enough, I feel kinda bad for her. I usually feel bad for anyone who finds themselves in this kind of circumstance. This was a situation that didn't have to happen, had Deen been a little more mindful of other peoples feelings. You know what I mean?

I think all of us have had a moment when we have thought something less than kind towards someone. I can admit right now that I have thought of the bad neighbor I have as being an idiot. Dumb. Useless. Stupid. Mean. You name it... I have thought it, and sometimes said it, especially to Alan, because you can tell your spouse anything, especially when you just need to express some stress. The simple truth however is that you can't indulge in the depths of negativity too long. You see, along with my father teaching me about politics, he also taught me there was a time and a place for everything, but there was never a time for using hurtful language toward someone. Racial jokes aren't funny. Neither are sizest jokes or gender jokes. Does that mean I have never laughed at a blond joke, no, I would be lying it I said that, but the personal jab is where I begin to tune out the comedy.

Sigh.

I am glad we have moved to a more politically correct world than when I was a child. I am a short lady. I am 4'11 on a good day, so I have been the object of many a short person joke. Frankly... I can take a joke. You kinda have to develop a thick skin or sink into despair from the insensitivity of others. It didn't happen over night, but now no one is better at making fun me than me. I know myself better than anyone in the world, including Alan. I know my strengths. I know that because of my Fibromyalgia I will make a mistake with my speech every single day. I am not exaggerating. EVERY SINGLE DAY. So if I can't laugh at myself... well... life would be intolerable.

Laughing at one's self is a strength. Laughing at other people... not so much. The use of self restraint when someone is getting on your last nerve... a strength. Reducing a fellow human to an ignorant racial slur... not so much. Using the counting to 10 method before reacting when someone is upsetting you is a strength. Not putting any thought into the weight your words carry because you are upset and you want to hurt them back... not so much. When you think about it, being politically correct is more for you than anyone else. It's about who you want to be inside. Sitting here, right now, I wish I had stopped while I was in the middle of my angry rant toward my neighbor, I wish I would have tried to express myself on a less angry level, rather than lobbing the expletive filled verbal salad at his head.

He got on my last nerve and the shit literally hit the fan! Of course on the plus side, he merely tries to annoy me now, rather than completely piss me off, which is a good thing... I think!?

LOL.

Will it ever happen again. I hope not. But you never know. Human here. But being human can't be used as an excuse! And believe me, I am trying really hard to remember that.

I imagine things will be difficult for Paula Deen in the next few weeks and months, but hopefully she will take some time to reflect. Perhaps this was a lesson she needed to learn. All the most profound and meaningful lessons seem to hurt us the most. Well, at least that's been my experience. But hey, anything that encourages us to grow as a person can't be all bad. If we remember to forget the blame and accept the lesson. I wish the lady luck. And one day, perhaps not all that long from now, she will be back, a little less butter laden, and a little more mindful.

We'll see.

And now, here's a little dessert. A simple Strawberry/BlackBerry on Buttermilk Biscuit. Type 2 Diabetic friendly of course!



YUM!

Mood: Reflective

~Me :)