The Animal Within...A Round Robin Promotion

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us, cats look down on us. Pigs treat us like equals."

-Winston Churchill

I really like the topic for the next Round Robin Challenge. Derek, author of the journals, "Derek's Picture of the Day," and "Through My Eyes," has chosen, "The Animal Within," as our next challenge topic. I like topics that make me think and ponder a bit about what image I will use to properly convey my interpretation. Sometimes an idea will hit me right away, other times I really have to search my creativity to come up with the correct photo. That's why it's a called a challenge I suppose. :)

Derek has set no restrictions for the interpretation of this challenge, so while I know that Dragonflies are in actuality insects, not animals, there is a part of me that idenifies with them closer then most other creatures. In lore, the dragonfly is considered the power of light. When it comes to being an amateur photographer, I like to think that my photos are full of light, and that I bring that ambiance to my blog when I share what I see with you.

Also according to lore, dragonflies inhabit two realms: air and water and the influence of both of these will be felt by people who identify with dragonflies. They will be emotionally passionate in their youth, ( the influence of water) and they will be more balanced and possess greater mental clarity and control as they mature, (the influence of the air). I think this has been very close to the way life has been for me, especially now that I am learning about how important it is to find a healthy center in life, and achieve greater peace through meditation, T'ai Chi and Yoga. It is working wonders for me already. :) I think I will be adopting the dragonfly as my official symbol, but there are a couple animal traits that live inside me, and add to who I am as a person. So you will have to come back here to Ellipsis...Suddenly Carly, on Wednesday March 1st to find out which ones. If you have a guess as to which animals I identify with, feel free to leave a guess in the comments. I would enjoy reading your guesses. :)

If you want to play along with us for this challenge, you would be more then welcome to come along. Just drop by the official Round Robin Challenge journal and leave your name, your blogs name and the complete URL of your journal as your RSVP for attending the challenge. Please take a moment to read the full entry describing the challenge. We have had some recent "Rules of Play" changes that you should be aware of before playing. Nothing complicated I assure you. It's a lot of fun and so are those who play. I hope you will consider joining us, come on, you know you want to. WINK. ;)

-OndineMonet
"Dragonfly"
Berkeley, California
February 17th, 2006
Evening

John Scalzi's Weekend Assignment #99: Making A Difference

"The purpose of life is not to be happy...but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that lived at all."

-Leo Rosten

Were one week away from the 100th Weekend Assignment, and for this week's assignment, we have the final AOL member-suggested topic, from Aim2theright:

Weekend Assignment #99: "What do others think they could do to make a difference? It doesn't have to be life-altering, as the smallest conception can bring the biggest results." In addition to things you could do, I'll also add in the if you are currently doing things you think make a difference, you can mention those too.

Extra Credit: Name someone you know who you admire for making a difference.

-John Scalzi

I have this really unreasonable goal in life, simply put, "I want to leave folks better off then when I found them." I decided that this is how I wanted to try and lead my life this way after watching the way my family treated others. Like hurting others was a sport or something. I had to do a lot of damage control, even from a young age, until one day I wised up and realized it wasn't up to me to make up for the shortcomings of people around me, nope, I was only really responsible for my own conduct...not the conduct of others. So, fast forward to August of 2003. I started my journal Ellipsis, with NO idea what to do with it, and then it became apparent. Sharing my life, the things I see and hear, the photographs I enjoy taking, the challenges I face, the joys that fill my soul, loves I left behind, and even the romantic specter, "The Ethereal Musician," all reaches out to those who read me and says, "Hey, your not alone, and neither am I." Isn't that a wonderful feeling? So, at this time in my life, that is what I have to offer. Myself.

It's simple but it's true. If I can make you smile or laugh, if I can make you ponder something you never considered before, if I can share an idea or political observation and you find it interesting or provocative, then I feel like I have done something to make that particular day worthwhile. I know every comment I have ever gotten, including the ones from folks who thought I was oh so wrong, have only made me strive to be a better writer and person. One of the most rewarding entries I have posted to date, was the entry I wrote about the "Port Chicago Disaster," and it's aftermath. I actually received more then one email from readers and friends who said they had never heard that such a situation had ever happened. It felt good to pass on what I had learned, and share that important piece of history that somehow didn't make it into most history books, if indeed any. So, I will toot my own horn here a bit, and say that I think I make a difference by blogging, because I have a lot to share...and learn. See how nice that works out for both of us? :)

"Unless someone like you cares a whole lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."
-Dr. Seuss

-OndineMonet
"What I See"
Westbound HWY 24
Berkeley, California
February 15th, 2006
12:30 PM

Tired, Tired of, Or Just Tired

"Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made and forgot to put a soul to."

-Henry Beecher

I am tired tonight, and not in the best of moods. I did some T'ai Chi today, and I am pretty sore tonight, but I it's down to below freezing tonight, after a week or so of higher then normal temperatures. February can be a moody month. Hopefully I will get down to Oakland soon to photograph the geese and other birds at Lake Merritt. It's kinda fun to have that to look forward to. If all goes well, I will do some Qi Gong in the morning then go out and do some photos. :) We'll see. :)

-OndineMonet
"From The Rain"
Berkeley, California
February 2006

Round Robin Challenge: Laisser le Bon Temps Rouler (Let The Good Times Roll)

"If it's not fun, you're not doing it right."

-Bill Blasso

Sometimes I think maybe my "Kick up your heels and let the good times roll," days might be over. But in reality, I just need to pick and choose how I let the good times roll. Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and I woke up ready to celebrate the day. The sun was warm, so I was feeling pretty energetic, and when I went into my office I found I had a big box waiting for me. It was a gift from Alan. That nice man went out and bought me a gorgeous dessert set from Bed bath & Beyond. It is a serving for four and it is a country cats pattern. I was thrilled! See, Alan didn't know it, but I had reserved an ice-cream cake from Baskin Robin's. I called him at work and thanked him for my nifty new present, and told him I had something special for him to pick up on his way home. How does chocolate cake with chocolate mint ice-cream sound? :) I have to say, there is something completely decadent about eating an entire ice-cream cake in the middle of the afternoon, with someone you really kinda like. :) There was one more surprise waiting for me, he fixed dinner for us. A grilled steak and veggies. Ok, so maybe it wasn't party till you drop, but we had a really good time. :) Thanks goes to Tess, for picking such an awesome challenge! Be sure to visit the other Round Robin participants.

-OndineMonet
"Good Times"
Berkeley, California
February 14th, 2006
Afternoon

Round Robins

Tess...First Digital PhotosPosted!
Carly...Ellipsis...Suddenly Carly Posted!
Karen...Outpost Mavarin Posted!
Chris...My Photographic Life
Derek...Derek's Photo of the Day Posted!
Betty...My Day My Interests
Julie...Julie's Web Journal Posted!
Sara...Animated Seasons Posted!
Celeste...My Day And Thoughts
Dorn...Through The Eyes Of The Beholder
Sassy...Sassy's EYE Posted!
Steven...(sometimes) photoblog Posted!
DesLily... Here There And Everywhere 2nd Edition Posted!

Happy Valentine's Day

"Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love."

-Albert Einstein

Omar Pigglesworth knew it was love the moment he looked into the eyes of one Miss Sophie Jane Pridenporker. Not only did she have the most astounding eyes he had ever seen, but she had a pair of chops that wouldn't quit. See, Omar was a chops man. He tried however, to keep a professional relationship with the delicate, yet comely chanteuse, but he lost his heart when they were requested to perform the song of the ages for all lovers at the Barnyard Valentine's Soiree..."Don't Go Breakin' My Heart."

Don't Go Breakin' My Heart
As sung by Pigglesworth and Pridenporker

Omar: Don't go breakin' my heart
Sophie: I couldn't if I tried
Omar: Oh honey if I get restless
Sophie: Baby your not that kind

Omar: Don't go breakin' my heart
Sophie: You take the weight off of me
Omar: Ah honey when you knock on my door
Sophie: Ooh, I gave you my key

Omar/Sophie: Ooh-hoo, and nobody knows it
Omar: But when I was down
Sophie: I was your clown
Omar/Sophie: Ooh-hoo, and nobody knows it
Omar: Right from the start
Sophie: I gave you my heart
Omar/Sophie: Ooh-hoo I gave you my heart

Omar: So don't go breakin' my heart
Sophie: I won't go breakin' your heart
Omar/Sophie: I won't go breakin' your heart

Omar: And nobody told us
Sophie: "Cause nobody showed us
Omar: And now it's up to us babe
Sophie: Ooh I think we can make it

Omar: So don't misunderstand me
Sophie: You put the light in my life
Omar: Ooh you put the sparks to the flame
Sophie: I got your heart in my sights

Omar/Sophie: Ooh-hoo, and nobody knows it
Omar: When I was down
Sophie: I was your clown
Omar/Sophie: Ooh-hoo, and nobody knows it
Omar: Right from the start
Sophie: I gave you my heart
Omar/Sophie: Ooh-hoo I gave you my heart

Omar: Don't go breakin my heart
Sophie: I won't go breakin' your heart
Omar/Sophie: Don't go breakin' my heart

Yes, alas, it was indeed love at first sight, they both knew it to be true. She was quite a babe, and he now knew he could no longer fight his feelings. The next song he sang that night was, REO Speedwagon's "I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore," and it became their song. Sigh. :) Awww Amore! AMORE!

-OndineMonet

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Love!

"A happy family is but an earlier heaven."

-George Bernard Shaw

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Show us a picture that represents love to you.

-John Scalzi

Is there anything more romantic then a love that never gets old, never wears thin and withers, and that never dies? When a pair of swans mate, they mate for life, and so does every generation after that. I watched this Swan family all last spring and summer at the Palace of Fine Arts, in San Francisco. There were groupings of about five or six families, but this particular family stayed pretty close to one side of the pond. It was sweet, romantic and life affirming to watch. Now that is what love should represent. Total and complete, unconditional love for each other.

-OndineMonet
"The Family"
The Palace Of Fine Arts
San Francisco, California
Spring/Summer 2005

Steven's Feline Friday

"Cats are dangerous companions for writers because cat watching is a near-perfect method of writing avoidance."

-Dan Greenburg

I love this cat, but I have to admit the above quote is so true...watching Elvis can use up and entire day. :) I have owned so many pets in my lifetime, dogs, chickens, rabbits, a roadrunner for a brief time, a pair of geese, a hamster, a guinea pig, parakeets, love birds and an assortment of other animals, but Elvis is by far the most charming of them all. I have actually seen folks who swore to me that no cat has ever been worth what a dog is...fall instantly in love with Elvis inside of 10 minutes after meeting him. Maybe because he is a happy boy and anxious to please, maybe because of his gentle nature or maybe because his natural body oils make him smell like baby powder, but he charms those he meets, just like he has Alan and I. I adore this boy...he is my guy! :) Be sure to drop by Steven's journal and see this week's picture of Pickle for Feline Friday. He is quite the charmer as well. This week he is particularly cute. I can only imagine what it would be like to have both Pickle and Elvis in the same room at the same time. Tag team charmers. Ut oh! :) On a literary note, I did manage to gain some forward momentum in my book writing. I had been somewhat blocked, not because of Elvis so much as my lack of energy. I am pleased with them amount I managed to get done. Moving forward...that feels nice. :)

NOTE: Ooops. I mistook Harley for Pickle! LOL. Both kitties are too gorgeous, go have a look see for yourself! :)

-OndineMonet
"My Guy"
Berkeley, California
February 8th, 2005
Evening

Vision Changes

"Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil."

-James Allen

The drive to Lake Tahoe last week was stunning. I saw the clear, glistening water in the lake, the snow on the hillsides, so white with sparkling iridescence, and they sky was a shade of blue that I had never seen before. I even saw a few trees, with leaves that looked like they were left over from last autumn. Maybe that was just the color of the leaves for that particular tree no matter what the season is, but for a moment or so, I was back in autumn. For a moment, it was so clear that I swear I could taste warm, spice apple cider in my mouth. It was vivid, but it was only my perspective.

Do you suppose everything is equally specific to everyone? When I stop to take a photograph, it's because I see something specific in it. Something completely unique to me in the moment. Maybe that is why I tend to revisit the same places over and over, and then bring the images back here to my blog. I can see the Golden Gate Bridge, from Fort Point, a hundred times and yet I always feel little when I stand beneath it. The sky never looks the same, nor does the fog as it rolls under the gate. It's always like I am seeing it for the first time...everytime.

I am that way with people as well. I have shared with you about the first time I met the November man. How can 20 or so years can go by and he not look a minute different to me. I look into his blue/gold eyes and I am always hopelessly lost. Sometimes I think that if I could just sit and stare for an hour or so into those eyes, with no words being spoken between us, I would eventually see all there is to see. I don't think I would survive it. I wish I understood how he can have such an affect on me, and the minute I walk the other way, I forget what he looks like. Maybe it isn't poor eyesight on my part, maybe it is just my bad memory.

Memories fill us sometimes, don't they? Vision makes it all come together in color and depth. There are times, and places, and people I would love to forget, but not if it meant never seeing a visual phenomenon, such as an eclipse or the shade of a lovers eyes again. There was this day...forever ago...when I was moving to a new apartment. It was May and there was a warm late spring rain happening. I was moving some boxes to my car and he was helping me. The rain began to pour and I looked like a wet kitty cat. I asked him if he had a hair dryer, and he just stopped, looked at the top of my very unstylish hair, and slowly moved his eyes down to mine, where he just smiled and spoke not one single word. He just smiled, in a moment that lasted forever. In that moment...I was in that moment. How could it be? HE found me beautiful? Funny how sometimes the very best gifts we can get, cost nothing, aren't wrapped in pretty paper with bows, and don't ever have to be given back.

To the casual observer, I was a mess, to the November Man I looked beautiful. How different we all seem to see the same object or person. The beauty in a heart's smile, the ugly in a smug smile. Some go to the water and feel afraid of it's loud laughter, others like me want to join in and laugh with it. Some fear a big wave rushing onto the shore, I want to run out and meet it. It's a funny thing vision, it is all in what we choose to see. I wouldn't give up the bittersweet of knowing him, if it meant I had to give up looking into his eyes, then or now. What I would change I suppose, is that once I care about someone, I care about them for life...my life. Just when I think every single empty room in my heart is full...along comes another thing to stretch my heart further, and that never leaves. Music, pets, art, foods, hobbies, books, life. Jeepers, I am such a schmuck! :)

-OndineMonet
"Looking Out The Window"
Placerville, California
February 8th, 2006
Morning

Curious Carly's Foot Goes To The Eye Doctor

"You can't depend on your eyes, when your imagination is out of focus."

-Mark Twain

Ok, so I had to go to the optometrist's office the other day, because I have been having a lot of headaches and some blurred vision. Going to the eye doctor is no big deal for most folks, for me...blech! I am not crazy about strangers playing with my feet or my eyes. I always wonder if I will be the lucky one who gets an appointment, the day my eye doctor goes nuts and decided to put acid in my eyes instead of those funky drops that makes the world look like wide egg noodles for a couple hours after they are administered. Hey don't laugh...I have that kind of luck. Which is why I have avoided going to the eye doctor for as long as possible, until yesterday, when Alan nagged me into going in for a drop-in appointment. I was having one too many headaches. People with Fibromyalgia do experience a lot of headaches, but Alan reminded me that I had taken a lot for granted this whole past year when I thought my symptoms were either all in my head, or Epstein-Barr related. So, off we went on yet another adventure in medicine.

I was seeing a new eye doctor, because my former optician had recently retired. New office, in a new town. I had NO idea what to expect. That's always fun. The fear of the unknown trips me up every time. I can handle knowing the awful truth, I can handle knowing that everything will be fabulously wonderful, but NOT knowing what to expect always gives me the wiggins. And what about these headaches I have been having...I wonder if it is a brain tumor, or maybe worse yet, maybe it is a "brain cloud" like Joe had in the, 1990 Tom Hanks movie, "Joe Verses The Volcano." Now there was a thought! Would I be told I only had 6 months to live? Would I soon be sailing for a south seas island to join the Waponi Woo and then save the island by throwing myself into an active volcano? My goodness, now THAT would make for good blogging now wouldn't it! :)

As it turned out, my appointment turned out to be a whole lot less exotic and exciting then that. I did have some nifty things happen however, like I found out that there is a pretty cool new gadget that digitally scans the retina now, so one doesn't have to tolerate those uncomfortable eye drops. I will be receiving the picture of my eyeball by email in a few days. I was kind of impressed with it, the inside of my eyeball looks like a brilliant green nebula. According to my doctor, I am pretty healthy over all. He was able to tell just by looking into my eyes that my blood pressure was fine and that my cholesterol was at normal levels. I thought that was pretty cool. I had already known those things, but to know that the eye doctor could tell just by looking, was nice to find out. It's good to know that there are more ways to catch potential problems then ever before. So what was causing my eye troubles?

Simple, since the Fibromyalgia has become a problem, my eyes have changed a bit. I was advised to get two pairs of glasses. One pair for working on the computer and one pair to help with my long distance sight, for driving at night. Sometimes I have trouble, especially with the lighting around dusk. The doctor says that maybe in a few years I might consider getting bi-focals, but that is a few years off. So, as appointments go I guess that trip to the doctor's office wasn't so bad, and I got a nifty new picture to share with you in a few days. All in all, not a bad day at all. Thankfully, there seems to be no south seas island in my near future :)

-OndineMonet
"Carly's Foot Goes To The Eye Doctor"
Walnut Creek, California
February 9th, 2006
Afternoon

John Scalzi's Weekend Assignment #98:Utterly Useless Web Sites

Click on the above photo to see an enlarged version.

"Who wants to become a writer? And why? Because it's the answer to everything. To "why am I here?" To uselessness. It's the streaming reason for living. To note, to pin down, to build up, to create, to be astonishing at nothing, to cherish the oddities, to let nothing go down the drain, to make something, to make a great flower out of life, even if it's a cactus."

-Enid Bagnold

Weekend Assignment #98: "List the most utterly useless website you have ever visited." Suggested by AOL Journaler Rispina.

Extra Credit: "Tell us all about why you can't stop going there."

-John Scalzi

"Ghosts were people once too." -TAPS

I have a favorite web site, and actually it is also one of my favorite television shows as well, it is the web site of the Atlantic Paranormal Society, aka Ghost Hunters, when they are showing on the SCFI-Channel. Actually, I suppose it's really only useless if you don't happen to believe in ghosts. :) Otherwise it's kinda nifty! See, I happen to be a believer in all things...spooky! :)

Extra Credit: I keep coming back week, after week, because like I said...I 'm a believer. I like the guys of TAPS. They are hard working Roto-Rooter men by day, and Ghost Hunters by night. I believe them when they say the have experienced some pretty profound encounters with the spiritual world, because I have as well. I also enjoy the very human interaction between the hunters themselves, as they travel the East Coast in search of restless spirits. Very cool stuff. I would love to see them come out here to California to try and make contact with the "Blue Lady of Moss Beach. Her ghost is said to have been haunting the Moss Beach Distillery for many years, as well as the gorgeous beach that sits directly beneath it. Cool huh? Like one of the banners at the TAPS web site says, "Here ghostie, ghostie, ghostie." :)

-OndineMonet
"Moss Beach/ Moss Beach Distillery"
Moss Beach, California
Spring, 2005
Late Morning

The Rest Of The Story

"I prefer winter and autumn, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape, the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn't show."

-Andrew Wyeth

We drove to Lake Tahoe today, to see the snow. I have never seen snow before, it was softer then I even thought it would be. The water in the lake was amazing! So clear, so cool and so very blue. The beauty was nearly blinding...it made me want to come back to the lake, to see it in all the seasons, to see the rest of the story. :)

-OndineMonet
"Winter"
North Lake Tahoe, Nevada
February 9th, 2006
Noon

Mavericks

Click on the above photograph to see a larger version.

"Surfing soothes me, it's always been a kind of Zen experience for me. The ocean is so magnificent, peaceful and awesome. The rest of the world disappears for me when I am on a wave."

-Paul Walker

We had an incredible day yesterday. Temperatures in the Bay Area were in the mid-70's which meant there were record temperature highs. Perfect weather and conditions for the annual Mavericks Surfing Contest, held in Half Moon Bay, California. The annual contest draws surfers from around the world to compete, with the top prize at $30,000. This year the winner was from South Africa. Grant Baker was named the winner for having scored two perfect 10's for his wave riding. "That's the best I have ever surfed," he said, "it's the best I have ever done." The second and third prizes were awarded to two local men.

It was magnificent. The water was a gorgeous, clear aqua blue...and not a bit of fog or mist. It wasn't the typical February day. :) My the ocean producing waves that at times reached over 25 feet. The sun...oh the sun...and the bathing suits. It all came together to give me a much needed break from the painful joints. I had a very good time. And when we were finished at Half Moon Bay, watching the waves, it was time to head up the coast to San Francisco to see the waves at Fort Point.

There is nothing like sitting under the Golden Gate Bridge, watching those huge waves coming breaking around the corner into the bay. :) It was a lot of fun to watch the local surfers ride the waves under the Golden Gate and avoid the rocks along the waters edge. Not to mention the fact that just sitting on the water front under the bridge is an experience like no other. You feel so little and at the same time you feel like you can just reach right up and touch the bridge. This place is one of my favorite places to feel good. The water, the sun, the waves, the bridge and the winter sun. Now that is a Zen experience. :) And last night...I slept without pain.

"South African's Perfect Rides Lock Up Maverick's Title" KTVU

Visit my Photo Journal to see my evening photographs from Twin Peaks!

-OndineMonet
"Surfing Moments"
Half Moon Bay, San Francisco, California
February 6th, 2005

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Cloudy Days

Click On The Above Photo To See The Larger Version.

"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storms, but to add color to my sunset."

-Unknown

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Show off a picture of some really interesting clouds. The only caveat: don't use pictures you've previously posted-make them new, or at least new to the rest of us.

-John Scalzi

I know, I know, I have posted photos of the Golden Gate Bridge about a 1,000 times before, but the day I took this photo I was particularly aware of the clouds. They were stunning! Because the weather changes so rapidly from one minute to the next because of the Bay Area microclimates, clouds can appear white and fluffy one minute and silver and glistening the next. I love it! I am pretty sure I haven't posted these particular photos before.

The Blue Photo in the upper right hand side is the view from the top of Mt. Tamalpias, in Marin County. I was standing at one of the vistas looking down into San Francisco. Just sharing the space with the clouds. It's fun to be up so high the clouds are literally at your feet.

The sunset photo is of a nice, late autumn sunset over the hills of Marin County, near the town of Pt Reyes. I love the way the colors play off the water, but the way they seem to turn silver over the dark mountainside is also relaxing and peaceful to watch.

The photo on the bottom right was taken while I was on my way to Nevada, late last October. The sky is so blue and so striking. I took this photo as we traveled along HWY 80. Not bad considering I was moving 75 mph down the highway! LOL. :)

-OndineMonet

"Clouds"

San Francisco, Mount Tamalpias, Pt Reyes, Tahoe City,

Autumn/Winter 2005

For Idiots :)

"What's encouraging about meditation is that even if we shut down, we can no longer shut down in ignorance. We see very clearly that we're closing off. That in itself begins to illuminate the darkness of ignorance."

-Pema Chodron

I am beginning a little light winter reading, lol, "The Idiots Guide To Fibromyalgia," and, "The Idiots Guide to Tai-Chi & Qi Gong." LOL. Both are a part of my new lifestyle changes that are required since being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia last December. I don't know, sometimes it all seems so overwhelming, but then I try to remind myself that this isn't the first time I have had to reinvent myself. The last time I had to start all over was when I went nuts a few years ago. At that time it was a matter of working on a more healthy thought process, this time it will involve the whole of my being. Mind, body and spirit.

I bought these books, on the recommendation of my medical doctor, because they are so easy to read, written in plain English and contain exactly what I need to begin this new journey. I am thinking of them as a road map. Along with the books, I am also beginning some meditation and yoga, plus doing some aromatherapy. I have done some mediation in the past, that isn't really new to me. I did some Qi-Gong when first went a little nuts back in 1999. I didn't appreciate it as much back then as a tool to help me heal. That was short-sided on my part. I had become profoundly ill, very quickly and I didn't understand how that particular philosophy would help me heal. I think I wasn't ready to give up the overwhelming pain I was in. See, pain had become safe somehow.

My bad. I, of course, became even more ill...to the point I couldn't talk anymore. Ok, lesson learned. LOL. I see my therapist once a week, she has helped me find my voice. It isn't always so painful to go to those sessions. Sometimes it's ok to just go in, sit down and laugh our asses off for the hour. That helps make it ok for when I need to work really hard on the stuff that has lived inside me, tormenting me for my whole life. Those sessions are a little like pulling my spleen out my armpit. LOL. It's unfortunately true..."No Pain, No Gain." Someday, it won't hurt anymore, if I can just face it today.

The unfair part, the part that makes me want to whine, and throw things, and get really mad, is that stress tends to exacerbate the Fibromaylgia. "So what is Fibromayalgia anyway?" you ask. Good question. I don't actually know too much about it myself, but I will explain to you the way the good book explains it. Fibromyalgia comes from the Latin words fibro, my, algia. Which translated means fibrous tissues, muscles, and pain. Yep...that's it! My body feels like I have been in some kind of accident. My joints hurt, my hands swell sometimes so much it feels like they will burst. I can't type, I can't hold a book to read. Sometimes I wake up and my hands and legs will be asleep, but the tingling feeling that happens when a limb will fall asleep with be amplified. LARGE. My right foot swells. Just my right foot, not my left one. That's irritating because my shoes don't feel too good most of the time, although the shoes I bought off an EBAY auction feel really good on my feet, and they used to belong to Alyssa Milano. LOL. They are Charmed. LOL. We both wear a size 6. :)

Ok, so, chronic pain in my tendons, ligaments, and the muscles, that run throughout my body. Swelling in my joints. Migraines, Restless Leg syndrome, which feels like there are bugs running up and down my legs, that causes a strange twitching and painful sensations. It sometimes it hurts to have someone just touch my skin. A hug, a kiss, even the slightest caress. That part hurts my feelings because I am a touch person. It feels good to have human contact. They say you live longer, when you are open to human contact like hugging and holding hands, or paws. :) Elvis and I would sleep holding paws...not so much anymore. :( I think he understands, because he curls up with me after Alan leaves in the morning. He will scoot under the covers and rest on Alan's pillow.

It's the cognitive difficulties that hurt my feelings the most. I forget words, I lose my train of thought. I make loads of spelling errors. Errors I wouldn't have made ten years ago. Sometimes, when I realize how often I make mistakes writing in my blog, I can't believe you still read me. Sigh. I am working on it. I have to, I can't just give up...right? I have had to fix a lot of deep crap in my life, in order to get up and keep going, but isn't that the way it is? Challenges come along for everyone, and we have two choices on our course of action. Whine, give up, put ourselves down and insist we will never be better then we are right now, embrace every negative notion we can about ourselves we can find. "I am fat and will never look any different." "I am a loser who can't do any better with my life." I have to second guess myself, because I am not able to choose a proper path for myself." Or care enough about ourselves to get up, and do what we have to do to keep going.

I have to say, it infuriates me to hear negative things coming from people I find impressive. It is like they are saying, "You have terrible taste in people you admire, because you choose to admire me." It is lazy of people to give up on themselves and accept the path of least resistance. Will we EVER reach perfection? Hell no! But trust me, I have been down in the deepest of wells, believing that I couldn't get up, but I did finally get back up because once you realize that you must go through winter to reach summer...you can find that inner drive to get well. Now mental illness is a lot different then chronic physical ailments...or is it? Depression is ususally chronic. Oh, you find ways of coping, and you will go for long periods of time where things are very normal, even blissful, but there will be relapses which can occur for many reasons. And we always have that choice to make. Will I get back up? It only took one time to figure out I had the perfect suicide plan, to realize how completely selfish it is to even think about going through with it. Never again.

So, like with mental illness, I will educate myself on why I feel so full of pain all the time. I will meditate and clear myself of negativity. I will learn to cope with how I feel honestly. I will make the effort for myself first, so I can care for those who love me. I will give myself a break. I will let myself learn new things. God I love the view of new things! I will enjoy the hell out of the new possibilities...like practicing yoga in the park this next spring and summer. Sleeping with a lavender scented mask on, that Alan says is sexy ;)Making fabulous new meals that are good for the body and soul. Don't ya just love whole fruit smoothies? And more then anything I plan to love...a lot. Myself and others. And if one day I am too tired to embrace it with all my senses...well that's ok too. :) I hope you don't mind if I share this journey I am on with you once in a while. Tell me what you think.

-OndineMonet
"Tools"
Berkeley, California
February 5th, 2005
Late Evening

Art About Town...Foster City, California

"Much violence is based on the illusion that life is a property to be defended and not to be shared."

-Henri Nouwen

This sculpture and gazebo are part of the 20 acres that make up the, Leo J Ryan Memorial Park, in Foster City, California. The park is dedicated to the memory of U.S. Congressman Leo J. Ryan who was murdered, in 1978, on an airstrip just outside the Jonestown compound near Georgetown, Guyana, by members of the People's Temple, which was led by Rev. Jim Jones. Before he became a congressman, Mr. Ryan served as the mayor of South San Francisco. This park, and the memorials to him, are a poignant reminder of the peaceful man that Congressman Ryan was.

An environmentalist, animal rights advocate and an investigator of religious cults, Ryan had an impressive record for his time in office. In 1970, he used a pseudonym for his name and had himself arrested, in order to investigate conditions inside the California prison system. He was awarded posthumously the Congressional Gold Medal for his service in congress. He is the only member of congress, to date, to have been killed in the line of duty.

"Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages."

-Thomas Elva Edison

-OndineMonet
Leo J. Ryan Memorial Park
Foster City, California
February 1st, 2006
Early Evening

"Let The Good Times Roll"...A Round Robin Promotion

"All we need is music, sweet music
There'll be music everywhere
There'll be swingin', swayin', and records playing
And dancin' in the streets."
-From Dancin' In The Streets

Sometimes there is simply nothing like, letting your hair down and kicking up your heals! I love the topic of our next Round Robin Challenge, because that is just what it encourages us to do. Kick up your heels, and "Let The Good Times Roll." Tess, author of the journal, "First Digital Photos," chose for us, this fun and good times subject, and I am really looking forward to it. It has been quite a while since I have been to an official celebration, unless you count Elvis's birthday parties that we throw for him each year. LOL. Last year he had two feline friends drop by, his best buddy, Ernst, and his opossum friend, Agatha. There was balloons, Strawberry & Cream cake, and even an appearance from R2D2! LOL. This year will probably be just as fun, Elvis likes to be fussed over, and of course any occasion to wear a hat is just fine with him. In our house, even the cat knows how to "Let The Good Times Roll."

I was looking through a box of goodies the other day, when I came across the mask in the above photo. I wore that mask to a Mardi Gras party back in the mid-1990's. It was at a good friends house, and it was wonderful. There was Jazz music, fabulous New Orlean's cuisine that she had catered, and lots, and lots of people having a good time. That is an important part of life...not taking it all so seriously. It's healthy to break out of the gloom and doom and just celebrate life! If Mardi Gras doesn't happen to be your bliss, it's ok, there are many ways to celebrate fun.

How about attending an Oscar party? It has been at least four years since I went to an Academy Awards party. So, I was thinking about maybe going to one this year. Jan Wahl, movie critic for KRON in San Francisco, is hosting an Oscar party at San Francisco's Pan Pacific hotel. It sounds like it might be a hoot. Appetizers, a three-course dinner, and a silent auction will be some of the events of the evening. My goodness, the chance to put on the ritz a bit and go out for the evening sounds dreamy. LOL. I don't know if I will have enough energy to be able to, but I think that even if I don't, I will find a way on Oscar night to make it special. Prepare a gourmet dinner, maybe open some Champaign, and sit at my desk, and thank goodness I don't have to be wearing 4-inch high heals. LOL.

So tell me, how do you like to, "Let the good times roll?" Do you enjoy parties, or cozy get togethers? Are you into rubbing elbows with the stars or do you like to go to sports bars? Are birthday parties where you have the best times? How about made-up holiday's tell us about it! Or better yet...show us with your photos! Join us on Wednesday, February 15th for the Round Robin Challenge, "Let The Good Times Roll." You can find out all the information you need over at the official Round Robin Journal. If you want to come along, we would be happy to have you! Come on...you know you want to!

-OndineMonet
"My Mask"
Berkeley, California
February 2nd, 2005
Late Evening

John Scalzi's Weekend Assignment #97: Your Own Movie Awards

"If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job."

-Woody Allen

Weekend Assignment #97: Make up a movie award category and tell us who or what ought to win." What an excellent suggestion. Since NZforMe left the parameters of this fairly open, let's keep it that way. Create any sort of category you want, and you can select your nominees (and winner) from the entire history of film. You don't have to go all out and list nominees (you can just go straight on to the winner), but it's fun to have fun with."

Extra Credit: What was the first film you ever saw in a movie theater?

-John Scalzi

Best Cameo performance In A Motion Picture.

The nominees are:

1. So I Married An Axe Murderer...Phil Hartman, as Alcatraz tour guide, John Johnson...but you can call him "Vicky."

2. Superman The Movie... Rex Reed says "hello" to Lois Lane & Clark Kent.

3. Starsky & Hutch... David Soul & Paul Michael Glaser reprise their roles at the end of the film. Still funny after all these years!

4. When Harry Met Sally...Estelle Reiner. She delivered the best punchline of the movie, when she uttered the words, "I'll Have What She's Having."

5. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me...Elvis Costello & Burt Bacharach. I love the two of them performing the song, "I'll Never Fall In Love Again," as Austin Powers and secret agent, Felicity Shagwell dance in the street.

6. The Birds...Alfred Hitchcock getting off a Muni bus, in San Francisco, in the beginning of the film.

And The Winner Is: Estelle Reiner! In my opinion it is one of the truly perfect moments ever in film. The delivery of the line, "I'll have what she's having," was the perfect line to follow the hilarious scene immediately before, in which Meg Ryan's character, demonstrated how the perfect faked orgasm would appear. It was the perfect punchline to the perfect joke.

Extra Credit: The first film I ever saw in a theater was, "Peter And The Wolf." I saw it at the famous, Grand Lake theater in Oakland, California. Loved the music, loved the colorful animals.

-OndineMonet
"Grand Lake"
Oakland, California
Summer, 2005
Afternoon

100

"The best six doctors anywhere
And no one can deny it
Are sunshine, water, rest, and air
Exercise and diet
These six will gladly you attend
If only you are willing
Your mind they'll ease
Your will they'll mend
And charge you not a shilling."

-What The River Knows

I feel like the horse in the above photo. It has been one of those days. Sigh. So, I am on my way back to bed. Sigh. I am so looking forward to spring and summer this year! The trees are already showing signs of spring, I saw several cherry trees in bloom. So pretty! :) Anyway like I said it's time for me to go back to sleep, but I had to get up and make this entry...it's a goal I intend to keep. I update everyday...rain/shine/sickness or health. :) Writing and blogging make me happy. Thank you for coming by to visit me and read my musings. As of this entry, I have posted 100 entries in my new space. I couldn't have done it without you! :)

-OndineMonet
"It Seemed Like A Good Idea"
Pleasanton, California
Spring, 2005

Round Robin Challenge: Silly Animals

Click on the above image to see enlarged version

"Mary had a little lamb, and the doctor fainted."

-Unknown

Good, I finally get to show off some of my very favorite animals, and I think a nice combination of digital and my older, non-digital photographs. The photos of the Lemur, White Bengal Tiger and the Giraffe were taken at the Oakland Zoo with my Minolta 35mm camera with a Quantaray Tech-10 MX AF 70-300 1.4-5.8 LDO Macro lens. The Ostrich, Turkey and the Opossum were photographed with Konica/Minolta DImage Z1 with a x10 optical zoom lens.

I love photographing animals. They are relaxed, friendly subjects, how else could I possible capture a photograph of a Bengal Tiger smiling? Or an Ostrich laughing, or how about an Opossum out in the light of day? That last one was my favorite animal photo of 2005. See, that isn't just any old opossum, that is a photograph of Elvis's pal, Ipson Pendragon. Ipson was born in our back yard last spring, and has lived here with his mother, Agatha, ever since. Ipson is truly to silliest of the opossums, he has a sense of humor and absolutely no sense of time. Opossums are nocturnal by nature, yet there at the back door everyday at 2:30 PM came Ipson. It seems, Ipson, had discovered that if he came to the door before his siblings, he just might get a piece of cheese pizza. We found out one day how much he enjoyed cheese pizza.

Elvis and Ipson became very good friends. LOL. One night I was sitting at my computer in my office, working on some bills, when I heard a little, "peep-peep, ipp-ipp" sound. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from, so I returned to what I was doing and thought nothing more of it. The next night, at about the same time, I heard it again. This time I was going to find out what it was! I looked all around the room, as Elvis sat on the rocking chair in the corner of my office looking amused...yet somehow...bored. Then I saw it! Ipson peeked his head out from around some boxes. Tee Hee. That little guy had spent the night with us! Slowly I shooed him out the back door and I told him to go and find his mother, Agatha. That was rather naughty of Elvis to invite a sleepover guest and not tell us! Heck, if I had known...I would have ordered a large cheese pizza from Straw Hat! LOL.

Thank you Celeste for choosing such a fun Round Robin topic. Please pay a visit to the other Round Robin participants to see their unique interpretations of each subject. Just click on their links below! :)

Round Robin Linking List

Celeste...My Day And Thoughts
Posted!
Carly...Ellipsis...Suddenly Carly
Posted!
Karen...Outpost Mavarin
Posted!
Derek...Derek's Photo Of The Day
Posted!
DesLily...Here There And Everywhere 2nd Edition
Posted!
Becky...Where Life Takes you
Posted!
Robin...Search The Sea

Julie...Julie's Web Journal
Posted!
T.J. ...Photo Inclusions: Every Picture Tells A Story
Posted!
Tess...First Digital Photos
Posted!
Kat...Prima Luce

Steven...(sometimes photoblog)
Posted!
Alan...F-Stop
Posted!
Kimberleigh...I Shaved My Legs For This
Posted!
Patrick...Patrick's Portfolio
Posted!
Nancy...Nancy Luvs Pix
Posted!


I hope you will consider coming along for our next Round Robin Challenge. It is really fun and easy to play along. Just pay a visit to the official Round Robin Journal and read the *Welcome Entry & Rules Of Play.* All the information about the how to play along is in that entry. Then if you decided to join us, just go back to the challenge entry and leave your name, the FULL URL of your journal and the correct name of your journal. Then we will come by to see your entry on the day of the challenge. I hope you will come along for the good times, with good friends.

-OndineMonet
"Animal Fair"

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Things You Have Other People Probably Don't

"If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary."

-Jim Rohn

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Take a snap of something in the house you're pretty sure other people aren't likely to have in their house. Pets and people are not included (we're pretty sure your pets and kinds aren't in most other people's houses). For the photo shoot we're looking at things...strange objects, curios, odd keepsakes and just generally weird stuff.

-John Scalzi

Here are just three items from my collection of the strange. :) Shall we start from left to right? LOL.

The Guy In The Red Suspenders...

The guy in the red suspenders is Bob of Bob's Big Boy Hamburgers. Bob is a piggy bank and not just any piggy bank. Bob holds my change and sometimes paper money as I save to buy my gourmet tidbits. Godiva chocolate, a specialty cake pan, a cheesecake from the Carnegie Deli. I open Bob every six months and then have a little fun with my savings. The best part of this bit of wackiness is the anticipation, and online window shopping. :) We no longer have any Bob's Big Boy restaurants here in the Bay Area, at least none that I know of, so I guess this bank is kinda special. :)

The Guy In The Yellow Hawaiian Shirt...

The guy in the yellow Hawaiian shirt is Micky Dolenz. I love Micky Dolenz. Oh not like I love David Duchovny mind you, but more like the really cool brother I always wanted, instead of the really stupid brother I got! Actually, my real brother isn't that stupid, he is a sword swollerer in the circus after all. LOL. But enough of him, and back to Micky. Micky Dolenz is my good luck pal. He singlehandedly lifted the "Curse of San Cruz" for me by doing nothing more then performing a free concert on the beach last August. I know no one else has that photo on their desk, because I took that picture myself. That is a wonderful memory for me...that concert was so much fun, fun I really needed to have. :) Same time, same place this year Micky? :) I can't wait!

The Guy In The Tuxedo...

That very cool black and white cat on the far right, playing the saxophone, is non other than Clinton cat. I won him as a door prize at a Democratic fundraiser hootinnanny. LOL. He is a cherished possession. I keep him on my desk, and he always inspires me. Just like my neighborhood spirit friend the Ethereal Musician. It's kinda cool to look at my Clinton cat when the Ethereal Musician is playing...and imagine the spiritual sound coming from the cat. How's that for an imagination? :) Oddly enough my spirit friend was playing "I'm A Believer" on the sax. It was cold and raining...and he was playing away, paying no notice to the moody day. Ahhhh...

So, there you have it. Think these are original items? Well, maybe, maybe not, but I like them because each one has a fond memory attached for me. :)

-OndineMonet
"Three Moments"
Berkeley, California
2006