Western Bluebird And The Slant Of Light In Autumn

 

"Leaves doesn't wait for autumn to shed,

 they shed when they are ready,

 bad experiences doesn't wait,

 they leave when you are ready."

~Pushpa Rana

Just The Way I Feel

 

Monday was a beautiful day, filled with a lot of light, but also the shadows that are so unique during winter and autumn. I found a beautiful combination of lighting opportunities, but late in the day was my favorite time. I was visiting the East Bay, Castro Valley, specifically, and decided to visit the park at the Community Center. It has a beautiful slant of cool, filtered light in the afternoon, due to the natural filter of the trees, and the slopes of the terrain of the park. I took the photo above at about the same time I photographed the Western Bluebird at the top. It was lucky that I just happened to be in the parking lot, which sits in the center of the park, which allowed me to photograph both lighting opportunities at once. I was happy with the time I spent there. It was a good day.

 

 

Note: Current Results Of The 2020 Election As Of 4:50 PM PT

 

 

 

 

~Carly

Stockton California

November 5th 2020

1 In 10,000

 "Summer rushes in on the heels of spring, eager to take her turn; and then she dances with wild abandon. But the time soon comes when she gratefully falls, exhausted and sated, into the auburn arms of autumn."

~Cristen Rodgers

 

Earlier this year I spotted my very first black squirrel. A black squirrel is actually a gray squirrel, with different pigmant, but it is fairly rare, especially in California. That has been 2020. Lots of strange surprises and twists of nature. This one was at least a pleasant surprise, I think. They are rare in California, and this is the second I have seen in the same year, and it was in a neighborhood on the other side of Stockton. Black squirrels are about 1 in 10,000, so I am not sure what to think. I have seen the devastating effects of climate change on California in recent years. The extended fire season. The decline of the Monarch's at California sanctuaries. It is going to give me something to study this winter, when it will just be too cold to do much photography outside. I am looking forward to that. In addition to learning more about these squirrels, I also happened to spot a new bird in the East Bay that I haven't seen before, more on that later, so I have several topics to learn about. Vacation is almost over, and it will be nice to spend some time doing research into how California, and the nation, has changed in recent years, speciffically in regards to animal and bird life.

Note: If you are wondering about my thoughts on the election, it will all just have to wait. History and I will document things in their time. It's out of my hands. There is a strong chance that it will be several days before we finally know for sure, and that's if we aren't otherwise distracted by civil war. If I sound like I don't care... no... I do... but I just want to think about the squirrels. And the rest of my vacation. But I will say something when the time is right.

 

 

 ~Carly

Stockton, California

November 4th 2020

Tuesday, November 3rd 2020

 

"The birds will wing from the weather,

 while I stand still as the harvest

 with the sound of Fall in the air."

 

~Carolyn Kizer 

 

 

I pray that those who have yet to cast their vote, do so today with the seriousness that voting in a democracy calls for. I pray that no violence breaks out, and that no one is harmed. I pray for peace. Pray for my friends, my Twitter family, the celebrities I admire, the lady I spoke to, late last spring, who was a Republican from the state of Michigan. She and I had little in common politically, but so very much if we had just been two ladies, who had just met, standing in line at the grocery store. We began our conversation arguing over mask mandates, ended our conversation laughing about seed catalogs and what folks were willing to wear on their faces, while waiting for masks to become available. I don't think I will ever forget her. We had so much more in common, then we had dividing us. That conversation gave me hope, and that meant a lot to me. I had no idea how much worse it would all get, because you can't prepare for the damage Trump is capable of causing, but I knew it would get worse, and it did. All summer long. It was a long, sad, dark summer.

 

 Fast forward. I voted on October 12th, 2020. A crystal clear Autumn day. I have never been more sure of anything in my life, with the exception of marrying Alan. As I sit here right now, I am misty-eyed because the town that carries the distinction of being the very first town to register their votes in the nation, Dixville Notch, New Hampshire. They recorded the results of five ballots. For President of the United States... 5 votes for Joseph Biden. 0 votes for Donald Trump. Does it mean that all is going to go smoothy for the rest of the day? Oh HELL no, but it's a good feeling to know that 5 people in New Hampshire and I would get along, if we met in a grocery store check-out line. See, that's what I have missed most in the last four years... hope. That dumb four letter word. Hope. Maybe we are spelling certain words all wrong. Maybe "Vote" should actually be spelled "Hope". Nah. I HATE Hope's guts!

~Carly

Stockton, California

November 3rd 2020

Scattered Leaves

 

"Early this morning I read about your autumn, and all the colors you brought into your letter were changed back in my feelings and filled my mind to the brim with strength and radiance.

 

Yesterday, while I was admiring the dissolving brightness of autumn here, you were walking through that other autumn back home, which is painted on red wood, as this one's painted on silk." 

 

~Rainer Maria Rilke

Letters To Cezanne

 

As sad as I always am to see October end, seeing this November begin made my heart smile! Yesterday was beautiful! You'd never know that there was anything to fear. For just a little while I didn't feel haunted by the ghost of the presidential election of 2016.

 

 ~Carly

Stockton California

November 2nd 2020

Blue Ties

 

"Happiness is to get lost in an autumn forest,

 and not to be found is an even greater one."

 

~Mehmet Murat ildan

 

Two days to go, more or less.

 

I have been having a recurring dream for three years. It has never varied in all that time. Trump is standing at the window of the Oval Office, just staring outside. Emotionless. I can see the reflection of the day in his eyes. Its a clear day. Sunny. Blue sky. He turns and walks across the room, where he locks the door to his office. As Melania starts to walk in through a door to Trump's left, he shoves her back out and locks that door too. He walks back to his desk and pulls a plastic can of gas from underneath, and proceeds to empty its contents in a circle around the room. He walks back to his desk, takes a long sip of Diet Coke, throws the can at a painting on the wall behind him of a man on a horse, and then strikes a match, and sets fire to the Oval Office.

 

 The dream is pretty vivid, but no detail is more vivid than the fact that he is wearing a blue tie. For some reason, that part of the dream feels like the most frightening part. It's fairly easy to figure out. He has been setting fire to the presidency since day one, but that blue tie must have some other meaning, because even right now, as I sit in my office, feeling comfortable and unafraid, I feel uneasy sharing that specific detail. I have had the dream many times since 2017, so you would think I'd be used to it by now. It's the minds way of processing things, that can't be dealt with in the clear light of day.

 But I am sure you can imagine how I felt that day last summer, when Trump did his melodramatic photo op with the Bible at, St. John's Church, in Washington, D.C., to prove how big and brave he was. He was wearing a blue tie that day, that was uncomfortably similar to the one in my dream. 

Well that stunt, using God, pushing the church's pastor around, not only using the Bible as a prop, but holding it upside down, did nothing for him, or his approval ratings, and no one that I know of, found it to be particularly manly. It failed miserably, as it should have! But that stupid stunt worked in one aspect, it scared the shit out of me because of that fucking tie! He wanted to scare someone,  anyone, and he succeeded, even if it was just me. He's irrational. How do you stop being afraid of an irrational person with nuclear codes and no sense of humor? Okay, I know, I'm the one being irrational right now, fretting over a blue tie, but GOD I pray he isn't wearing it on election night. Or any other day until after Joe Biden is sworn in as the 46th President of the United States, on January 21st, 2021.

 

Vanity Fair

Surprise: No One Is Impressed By Trump's Tough-Guy Church Photo Op!

 

 

~Carly

Stockton, California

November 1st 2020

Inhuman Monsters

 

"Sometimes human places, create inhuman monsters."

~Stephen King

The Shining

It's October 31st, the day I love most to fear. Halloween. Otherwise known as my favorite holiday. This is a special Halloween, than any I have spent in my life so far. See, not only is Halloween, but tonight is the second full moon of the month, making it a blue moon, and it will be visible in all three time zones! That hasn't happened since, October 31st 1944. This year the holiday, is mostly lost to Covid-19 and Donald Trump. He has taken yet one more thing from me, and all adults that are still children at heart, but with any luck, Tuesday will be the beginning of the end of his failed, miserable career as a politician, and the beginning of his career as an inmate in whatever federal prison is lucky enough to find themselves burdened with him next year at this time.

 Maybe I am hoping for too much, after all, the black cat is out of the bag, he doesn't plan on going anywhere, he will cheat his way into staying in the Hell of his own making. What a sad human he is. In the human place of politics, he really is the inhuman monster, completely created out of other peoples desires, and ambitions. Hatred and greed. Sometimes I think Stephen King is more of a prophet than author of horror. But I imagine Mr. King would say... who didn't see that evil coming one day, it's not like humans listen to their better angels. No matter, Trump may have caused Halloween to sit a year out, but he can't change the cycle of the moon, and if past full moons are any indication, he will have all the bats, in his mind's belfry, dancing the Time Warp for most of Halloween. 

 

Happy Halloween! 

 

Carly

Stockton, California

October 31st 2020

 

 

Autumn 2005... Revisiting The Lady In The Quartoscope

 

"I try to remember when time's measure painfully chafes, for instance when autumn flares out at the last, boisterous and like us longing to stay... how everything lives, shifting from one bright vision to another, forever in these momentary pastures."

~Mary Oliver

American Primitive

I went tiptoeing through the archives the other day, and I was happy to find a file from 2005, that I thought I had lost years ago. It was of our trip to Nevada, in autumn of that year, and specifically our visit to Virginia City, although I think I enjoyed Carson City more. Virginia City is a strange place. It can feel really laid back and welcoming one year, and downright hostile the next. I don't visit there much any more, I got a distinctly hostile vibe in 2016, with Trump signs here, and Trump signs there, and sideways glances at us. I guess we were putting out a liberal vibe or something. Don't take me serious, that was a joke, but it didn't feel like the cool "old west" novelty town that it once did, instead it was more like a town that just wanted to be left alone.

 

It's a shame, really, because I found some really cool stuff to photograph all over town. Historical stuff, and the cool touristy stuff like a really awesome kettle/caramel corn popper, and the lady you see in the photo above. In one of the "Olde Time" museums, was an antique Quartoscope, that showed a blush worthy movie, which played out on mechanized flip cards. A very cool thing from the late 1800's... I believe... and hopefully, one day, I can own one. I love antiques, but I'm not really into the "Old West" style, although living in the Central Valley makes it almost impossible to ignore, but quirky coolness will always be interesting to me. I think I posted about that lovely lady before, but when I came across her, it was like finding an old friends photo, in a box of photographs you didn't know you had. Hey, I am a cinephile, movies matter to me, even slightly racy ones done on a Quartoscope. Hey, that's a bit of history too!

 

Here is an example of one, and how it works. 

Carly

Stockton, California

October 30th 2020

 

37, 38, Autumn Catch-Up

"For art, she had thumb-tacked hundreds of autumn leaves on one of the cracked walls.

~Eleyne-Mari Sharp

Inn-Lak'ech

 

Leaves. That's all. Just leaves. I didn't get to do a post yesterday, because of painting my office, so this a day I will spend getting caught up. Pictures tomorrow or Saturday of my newly redecorated office, but for now, Autumn leaves.

Leaf Of The Day #37

Leaf Of The Day #38

~Carly

Stockton, California

October 29th 2020

 
 

Autumn Be Still

 

 

"After the keen still days of September, the October sun filled the world with mellow warmth... the maple tree in front of the doorstep burned like a gigantic red torch. The oaks along the carpet of jewels, emerald and topaz and garnet. Everywhere she walked the color shouted and sang around her... In October any wonderful unexpected thing might be possible."

~Elizabeth George Speare

The Witch Of Blackbird Pond

Feeling: Quiet

 

7 Days To Go.

 ~Carly

October 27th 2020

Stockton California

Then The Trees...

 

"Then the trees, after their long silence, began to talk again, in yellow and red. And the days began to shrink under one's very eyes."

 

Mirrlees, Hope

 A little later today, I will be painting my office, Behr Color #MQ4-59 aka Purple Gladiola. I bought the paint five years ago, but because of assorted nasty incidents, I never got the project done. That's all behind me. It happens today, and by tomorrow, my office will finally reflect my taste and that I am finally home. I live in Stockton, and that's not the death I once thought it was. I am incredibly lucky. I have friends. I have love. I have my cats, and Alan. I have my own office, in the house I fell in love with, on an unbearably hot day, in early August, 2015. And then come to find out that it was first sold on June 29th, 1962. My date of birth! I am pretty sure it has been waiting for me. It took me a long time to let go of the life I had in the Bay Area, like someone who passes away, and then clings to the mortal coil. But finally, I made my way to the light of a this new life and I am okay. In fact, I am better than okay. I am home. All that time passing it on the freeway, when driving to and from the Sierra to do photography, it was waiting for me all along, and to think, I tried to push it away. We were meant to meet, and be family.

 

~Carly

October 26th 2020

Stockton, California

Mid-Century Cocktails, Cafes, Bowling And Life

 

"Autumn is an honest month; it does not delude man like spring does! 

It shows him the dark face of life, the tragedy, the rot, the separation, the sadness!"

~Mehmet Murat ildan

 Two new examples of Mid-Century excellence! I have been eyeing this first awesome building, since before we settled in Stockton. I first noticed it when we were still looking at properties. We passed it one day, when we went to see the magnificent Elm st. mansion. What a cool that place was! Two stories, with gorgeous turn of the century crown moulding, and chandeliers throughout. Not usually my style, but it worked in this place. A full-sized wood carved bar off the living room, and a really nice private office that faced the street. It was impressive at $200,000, and it was in our budget, but it was too much house for us. The stairs would have been hard for me, given my arthritis, and it was right on the street with no yard, and if that wasn't enough, it was right near Harding, which is a really loud street. It was just all wrong. Ultimately, we ended up across town, in a really nice mid-century, ranch style, with a pool and really great early 1960's charm. Perfect... for us! But this building, with the cool sign was never far away from my thoughts of doing some photography, once I got settled. I bet this was a snazzy bar back in it's day, it seems closed now, but the cool sign lives on!

 

This one is the second of two bowling lanes in Stockton. Situated a little closer to where I live, it's a bit newer sign than most of my previous ones, but this one has some fairly cool lines all the same. Places like this are still closed in San Joaquin County, so I have never seen the inside of any of the buildings I have photographed so far, but maybe one day I will be able to venture in, to see if there is any original advertisements or decor. That would be really fun to find and photograph! I love that the sign is shaped like a bowling pin. I know it's pretty much a given, but it's making me happy inside somehow, I don't know, I am just happier over all these days. Shrug. Maybe it's being able to get out with the camera, or perhaps because I have found so many terrific subjects to photograph, I am not sure, but I am doing better, and for that I am grateful. I will hold onto that as long as I can, and continue looking for autumn leaves, and mid-century life, and try my best to not live in the past, except for when it comes to my love for the kitschy styles of the 50's and 60's.

~Carly

Stockton, California

October 25th 2020