Simulation Of Life

"I want to roll my eyes, but my doctor said if I keep doing it,

 my ocular muscles might spasam and eject my eyeballs."

~Liz Lemon (Tina Fey)

30 Rock, "TGS Hates Women"

Mad Fits Of Eyeball Rolling

It's Monday... and tomorrow is Tuesday! Tuesday is St. Patrick's Day! But if you enjoy that holiday as much as I do, you already know that! You have  5 pounds of potatoes, 16 ounces of shallots, 1 large head of green cabbage, 1 large head of purple cabbage, and, of course, a large corned beef brisket, just waiting to be turned into something delicious! Well, I have NONE of those things, but I will have them by later today. St. Patrick's Day is one of those holidays we never miss! One year, when Alan was in upstate New York visiting his parents for their anniversary, I was home alone, it was just me and our tuxedo cat Elvis. But I still made that corned beef dinner, and set a place for my kitty, and enjoyed the hell out of my own company... and the wonderful quiet. You know the quiet... the quiet that reminds you of what life was like when you were out on your own for the first time, and it was just you, and the sounds of other people, in different apartments around you, making living in apartment noises. I smiled in that moment, and then began missing Alan, deeply, painfully. I also rolled my eyes, because there just seemed to be no way to please me! LOL. I do a lot of eye rolling!

 Goin' To A Snowbilly Circus...

In other news, did you hear, Bristol Palin is getting married! Good for her... and he... I guess. Oh, don't misunderstand, I am happy for the young lady, happy I tell's ya, but when I read her quote about her good news, I kinda had to tilt my head... and wonder. Bristol met her fella when he visited Alaska to film an episode of  her mother's show, Amazing America, and of her new fiance she said... "He met Tripp during that time, and I've seen him in a few places where our paths have crossed since. He's visited us in Alaska, and I've visited his wonderful family in Kentucky," she wrote. "He's wonderful with Tripp and I'm so proud to be marrying him." Good for her and all, but that kinda sounds like she barely knows him, let alone be ready to spend the rest of her life with him. I don't know... what do you think? Am I being nit-picky? I mean ultimately, I couldn't possibly care less about her upcoming nuptials, but one does have to wonder if she will wear a thong wedding dress, like the thong camouflage dress she wore to the Hillbilly-Beatdown-Birthday-Shindig-Brawl last September. Hey, it's a look!

 I'm Bringing Stupid Back

I got all my tests results back from last week's visit to the lab. Blood... Good. Blood Glucose... Passable. Liver... perfect. Kidneys... wait a minute. Sigh. It seems I am in early stages of kidney disease. My numbers were above where they are supposed to be, but not dangerously so, it's a matter of taking my blood pressure pills on time, being a little more diligent with checking the blood glucose, and getting my blood drawn again in a few months. Sheesh! Who knew high blood pressure had anything to your kidneys? Well, I didn't, but I come from a long line of high strung political junkies, who take things way too seriously, like whether or not Bristol Palin will wear a thong wedding dress! I have decided to ignore that one, and concentrate on whether the invitations will be bought at Walmart. Call me a hopeless romantic, but one should NEVER buy wedding invitations at a place that also sells bullets! Am I right?

 

Uggg... there I go again... (Eyeball Rolling). Good Luck You Guys!

Mood: Curious

~Me :)

 

The Predictability Of A Plain White Dinner Roll

"The world is full of people

 who will help you manufacture tornadoes

 in order to blow out match."

~Shaun Hick

The Predictability Of The Plain White Dinner Roll

When It Comes To Sarah Palin, 

The Most Disingenuous Question Asked Most Often Is...

 Why All The Hate?

A couple weeks ago, I had a moment of shock and awe. Sarah Palin, the onetime darling of the far right had made a surprise appearance at the 40th Anniversary of Saturday Night Live, and engaged in a mildly amusing sketch with Jerry Seinfeld. It was basically a tease about how much, Loren Michaels, might or might not, be prepared to pay Sarah to run for the presidency in 2016. Like I said... it was amusing, and I found the sketch less a knee slapper and more of a cute expected moment, given the amount of jokes SNL has made at Sarah's expense over the years. The shock and awe wasn't at the predictable joke, but rather at what Sarah showed up wearing to the shindig. In an earlier post I ranted a bit about the outfit, of which she completely lifted from her daughter Bristol's closet. And I shared my opinion on whether or not it's a good idea to go about wearing clothing designed with a much younger woman in mind. 

It stinks, but we ladies of 50 and older need to cover things up, whether or not we are "hot." I hate it, I wish it wasn't true, but it is. IT JUST IS. Fortunately, we ladies have many, many ways of putting our best foot forward, while maintaining some fashion dignity. We have designers now, that our mothers never had, and fashion for ladies our age has evolved to show us in our best light, again while maintaining some dignity. But enough about that. What this post is about has nothing to do with that outfit per se, what it does have to do with is the inexplicable question about why Sarah Palin is hated so much, a question asked of me after a Tweet I wrote about the now famous white dress she wore that night, particularly by someone such as myself who dares to share a negative opinion regarding anything she does. 

First of all, let's get something straight... I didn't always hate Sarah Palin. Even now, as I write this, I wonder if it isn't more accuate to say, I don't hate Sarah Palin the woman, I hate the things Sarah Palin the woman says and does! But isn't what you say and do the best example of who and what you are? Maybe. Maybe not. I will let you decided if you think I hate the woman, that's up to you, but I think I would also like you to consider the fact that more than anything I don't understand the her. I don't understand someone who throws extraordinary chances, opportunites, and goals away, opting for shortcuts to nowhere, verbal digs, and lazy excuses. Instead of finding her own voice, she rides the coattails of Bill O'Reilly, by writing a book, similar to his, regarding the ridiculous notion that there is some kind of war on Christmas. Instead of taking a step back, after the abysmal 2008 campaign, did she take a little time to educate herself in the areas she had trouble with? No she bashed Katie Couric for being unfair, by asking her the simplest of questions... "WHAT DO YOU READ TO STAY INFORMED?"

Allow me to share a fuller picture of the many things about Sarah Palin I don't understand. Just a series of questions really, that if I had the answer to, I might understand the woman better.

1. She has five beautiful children, yet each of them seemed to have nothing but bitter and perpetually disrespectful attitudes.

There is plenty of evidence to support this. From Bristol teaching her child to say homophobic things, to the ridiculous physical fight they engaged in at a friend's birthday party last September. 

2. Sarah Palin, and her family, live in one of the most beautiful, majestic places on earth. They could be champions for conservation and the natural beauty that is Alaska. So, with the shocking way Global Warming (Climate Change) is affecting the planet, and specifically Alaska, you would think they would be leading the cause of preserving the natural wilderness around them, so why isn't she?

3. Sarah Palin's youngest child has Down Syndrome. He is a beautiful child, and clearly loved deeply, so why hasn't Sarah, used at least some of her time, since 2008, to do anything to bring awareness to the Down Syndrome community? She, again, has the chance to be a champion, and yet her silence is deafening.

4. If she hates the liberal media so much, why does she make appearances on culturally significant programs such as Saturday Night Live?

It really comes of as hypocritical to bash something and then turn around and embrace it. I wonder how that might feel to her supporters?

5. Why doesn't she form a specific, well informed series of opinions on the issues she cares about? 

  

Sarah Palin has been given chance after chance, across different platforms, to distinguish herself and bring her own opinions, and world views to light. But instead of actually doing that, she uses her time, such as on her latest venture, The Sarah Palin Channel, to spout nonsensical digs at the left, and share nothing of any real value as to how to fix the problems we are all facing. Her speeches are just one snide dig after another, but no real solutions, at at times characterized, even by some of her most staunch supporters as incoherent. Sometimes it seems like what she is really doing with that channel is simply using it for bitching, we all do from time to time, about things out of our control. That makes her understandably human, except most of us don't charge $9.95 a month to our subscribers. 

In my opinion, why ask folks to pay for something, namely her recycled opinions on any given subject, that can pretty much be found anywhere on the net for free. Who doesn't know, by now, how Sarah Palin feels about President Obama's policies? And yet, can you tell me what her policy is on dealing with... oh say... North Korea? How about how she would put people back to work... specifically? How about Infrastructure? What would Mrs. Palin do about fixing our roads and bridges? Where in the grand scheme of things would she even prioritize the problem of infrastructure? How about the homeless, of which about 50% are veterans, how would she get them the physical, mental and practical help they deserve?

There's no need to go on... is there?

I don't understand why she doesn't educate herself. I don't understand how she can carry on with the attitude that if she just bullshits her way through the toughest of questions, she will be fine. We both know, you and I, that it's not enough to have a random answer to the questions in our lives... you must know when you give the answer why you feel the way you do, and a clear idea how to move forward with it. As I sit here, the whole thing makes me terribly sad. Sarah Palin has so much potential. She has had the world in her hands, she could be a beacon of real hope, she could be a leader of the conservative party, and yes, on a minor scale she had an opportunity to show up at the SNL 40th Anniversary special, dressed appropriate for the occasion, and set a fashionable example for conservative woman all over the country. But she couldn't be bothered to go shopping, her daughter Bristol reasoned.

Several days after the whole "DressGate" thing settled down, Bristol Palin came to her mother's defense on her blog, saying her mother looked hot and no one should be caring about what she wore. Well, here's the thing, the situation didn't keep me up nights, but I do feel bad that apparently Sarah never learned, and therefore is not teaching her children that how you dress, and your appearance, is what people know first about you. Before you open your mouth, people see your clothes and how you carry yourself. That's why we are encouraged to dress for special circumstances, with respect for our audience. Imagine Sarah Palin's impression on the world, had she stepped onto the national stage, dressed in Daisy Dukes and a crop top! Funny isn't it? Or is it sad? Sarah Palin was invited to the SNL 40th Anniversary special, and rather than showing it the proper respect it deserved, she went for the shortcut. She decided put as little effort into the opportunity as she could, while once again, basking in the attention that she claims to dislike so much, by the people she blames for her negative reviews. If for no other reason, I would have thought she would have wanted to dress nicely to put her best foot forward!

It's never Sarah Palin's fault.

She is as predictable as a plain white dinner roll.

"If God had not wanted us to eat animals,

 how come He made them out of meat?"

~Sarah Palin

Mood: Quiet

~Me :)

Idiosyncrasies

 "Trendy is the last stage before tacky."

 ~Karl Lagerfeld

 WTF?

No seriously, what the FUCK?

What was Sarah Palin thinking, wearing her daughter's dress, right out of the closet, to the Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary celebration? My first thought was that perhaps she was trying to follow in the footsteps of another tacky reality star, Kris Jenner, of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Kris has been seen many times in "borrowed" clothes that belong to her daughters. Sometimes the clothes have worked well for the Kardashian "Momager," but more often than not, it just comes off sad. It makes me want to say... Kris, Kris, Kris... get your own style! And by the way, there is no disgrace in not only acting your age, but dressing your age as well! Stop making yourself a punchline, and set a style example for other women your age! Go ahead... be the style setter, not a style joke! And that is what I find so frustrating about both Kris Jenner, and Sarah Palin in general, they have all kinds of rare opportunities in the palm of their hands, and they will throw them away every single time!

When Sarah Palin hit the national stage, I admired her style, as far as her clothing was concerned. I had no idea until sometime later that, in fact, she was being dressed by her political handlers and not by her own personal style choices. Never mind who chose the clothes, she looked good in them, and she was beginning to not just be recognized strong self assured politician, but a strong style example for women our age group. It wasn't meant to be however, because like with everything else she touches, she brought a distasteful spin to it, for no other reason than to give a voice to her inner bitter middle-age political wanna-be. To admit style is to apparently have all your values mixed up, and we can't have down home Sarah doing that! So... style sense be gone... simple Sarah is on the case!

Of course true style doesn't have to mean expensive labels. A pair of jeans, a cozy sweater, just the right pair of boots, I would avoid American flag shit kickers, but that's just me, and you are good to go. Again, dressing your age is a good idea, pick up a Vogue, or consult wonderful websites like Rachel Zoe, In-Style, Stylist or even Pure Wow, as they can give a lot of guidance on what will make you shine, and be at your best when it most matters. Hey, there are plently of blogs where all you have to do is put the event that your are going to, into the search engine, and out will pop several examples of what to wear. I have been reading Vogue since I got my first job, and now I know the difference between what I like, verses, what actually looks good on me, and what will make the proper statement.

If my mother would have taken a cocktail dress out of my closet when I was 25, and wore it to a media event, I would have been mortified! I feel a bit sorry for the Kardashian girls, and Bristol in particular when it comes to that dynamic. While the Karhashian girls may have become numb to the idiosyncrasies of mom Kris, this must have been a new hell for Bristol. It couldn't have felt good to see her mom in that dress, but on the other hand, maybe she got a secret jolly out of seeing her mother look ridiculous... who knows? Sarah has kinda stolen some of Bristol's thunder over the years, although I am sure Bristol wouldn't admit that. Shrug. Again, who knows? What I do know is that the choice of dress was bizarre, and for the life of me I can't understand why Sarah wouldn't have wanted to make her own style statement that night.

White Dress

+

Black Dominatrix Boots

+

Brown Fur Purse

= Disaster!

"Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak."

~Rachel Zoe

PS... Don't forget to comeback tomorrow to see my picks for the Oscars, to see my fantasy outfit! Fair is fair, if you hate my style choices for my Academy Awards look, feel free to chime in! You will be welcome to play Fashion Police, and share your picks for the Oscars!

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

Jumping The Shark And Other Political Pursuits...

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy."

-Mahatma Gandhi

Okay, I know, Santa will probably put me on his naughty list for this, and if so I will take my lumps but the thing is... IT'S JUST SO FUNNY... It REALLY, REALLY IS! To hear FOX NEWS go on and on about how critics everywhere have panned Sarah Palin's new reality show, "Sarah Palin's Alaska" made me a little giddy. As they openly mocked her, I not only enjoyed it for a moment or two, it made my whole day! I smiled for hours! But please, let me explain. I don't approve of folks bullying each other. I don't care for name calling, or talking behind someones back, because I know how it feels to have someone treat you like you are dumb or irrelevant. So please understand, it's not that I condone this treatment of Sarah Palin. The reason why I smiled all day was because everyone, including Sarah Palin, was given the opportunity to learn what FOX NEWS really thinks of her. You see, when you have the full information you can begin to make intelligent decisions. Like who you want to associate with. Who you want representing your ideas and ideals, and you also get the chance to learn who your friends really are.



What Sarah Palin will do with the information isn't really clear. I couldn't find a link to her response to the mocking. I thought I heard that she called them "lamestream" media as well, but I could be wrong. If you know a link to what her response is feel free to leave it in the comment thread. All this is interesting to me because, like most humans, I have had to let myself learn some lessons in life, some of which were quite painful. I have a couple scars from those lessons, but I thank GOD for them everyday because I am a smarter, more confident person for it. I don't know about Sarah, and the lessons she has let herself learn, but this week alone, both Sarah and her daughter Bristol have had a chance to not just learn, but to grow and unfortunately, both seemed to have made a decision to pass on the chance.

Deep down, Bristol Palin has to know that she hasn't really earned a spot in next week's finale of Dancing With The Stars. It has been confirmed that a number of conservative websites have been bragging about manipulating the rules and voting for Bristol in blocks. On one site I read a comment from a man who was bragging about voting for Bristol over 900 times! If that's true, ABC should know the truth, and if it has registered an inordinate amount of votes for Bristol, then it should make it known and act accordingly. Bristol had a real chance this week to show what she is about, and instead of addressing those claims, and appealing to her followers to vote fairly, she denied the claims of cheating, and then she, and her sister Willow engaged in homophobic comments on Facebook aimed at a commenter who didn't think much of her mother's new reality show, "Sarah Palin's Alaska." The behavior of Bristol and Willow is a clear indication of how these two girls have been raised. It gives the world an honest glimpse into what their values really are. Not just by how the girls behave but by how their parents respond to their actions.

Bristol has said she deserved the DWTS mirror ball trophy because she has come a long way, and she has I agree. She has also said that she deserves it because she is "relatable" to average people because she isn't "one of those Hollywood types." Bristol, dear, the show is called DANCING WITH THE STARS, hon, you, by definition, are NOT A STAR, so in reality, no pun intended, you don't qualify. But ABC made a decision to include you, and now everyone has to deal with what it meant to allow someone, who doesn't fit the definition of STAR, to compete. I feel like all those teabaggers, who decided to manipulate things on her behalf are the cruelest ones of all. By cheating, the teabaggers have robbed this young woman of the chance to grow as a person. The bigger message here is that hard work and talent really doesn't matter, as long as you have someone to help you buck the rules.

I used to enjoy Dancing With The Stars. I enjoy the artistry of dance. I love the ballet, and I love to bust a move myself once in a while. That usually amounts to me dancing around the house as I do my chores, it's not something I would take to the national stage to do. LOL. But I love watching DWTS to see all the different dances and enjoy the music. It always brings back dear memories of cuddling with my Elvis as I watched it. Elvis loved music, and he loved to cuddle, so that's what we would do on Monday nights, while Alan worked overtime. As soon as the theme song played, Elvis would settle into my arms and we would enjoy the show together. He actually watched the TV right along with me. He is gone now, and my two new fellas sit with me the same as he did, which is nice, but there was something about watching it with Elvis that I miss terribly. Now, add in the controversy from this season, and I don't know if could ever feel the same about the show. If Bristol Palin wins DWTS next week, because of politics, I think it will definitely be official, DWTS will have JUMPED THE SHARK! And, I fear, if Sarah Palin does make it to the White House one day, America will have JUMPED THE SHARK as well.

By the way, can someone explain to me how Sarah Palin can bash reality shows, and those who compete on them, and then sign a deal for one of her own, and praise Bristol for joining one? How does that work again?

Hey, just askin'.

I miss my Elvis every single day. And after next week, I will be missing Dancing With The Stars as well.

:(

-Carly