Autumn Leaf Of The Day #36/Help Me Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

 “I love the Autumn,
And yet I cannot say
All the thoughts and things
That make me feel this way.

I love walking on the angry shore,
To watch the angry sea;
Where summer people were before,
But now there's only me.

I love wood fires at night
That have a ruddy glow.
I stare at the flames
And think of long ago.

I love the feeling down inside me
That says to run away
To come and be a gypsy
And laugh the gypsy way.

The tangy taste of apples,
The snowy mist at morn,
The wanderlust inside you
When you hear the huntsman's horn.

Nostalgia - that's the Autumn,
Dreaming through September
Just a million lovely things
I always will remember.” 

~Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis 

 

With a little bit more than a week to go, until the election, I am a nervous wreck. My final order from the Harris/Walz store hasn't arrived yet. It's a Kamala Harris poster, and a set of "Ka-Ma-La" campaign buttons. I am hoping it will get here soon, so that I can put it in a frame on the wall. I waited on putting Hillary's poster up, and I was really sad on election night that I hadn't. It was at least a couple years before I finally did add it to my office. And then we had to move, and well, shit happens. We finally put the poster in our upstairs hallway, and now I can see here from my office. I am hoping to put the poster that's coming, next to Hillary, in the hallway, but I might also bring both of them into my office, after the election. We will see how thing go. Anyway... I need strength. And I need my Kamala Harris poster.

 

 Autumn, and Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, help me.

A Third Of The Year

 

"Don't waste time beating on a wall,

 hoping to transform it into a door."

 

~Coco Chanel

 

 

So, it's been almost two months since we have last talked, and in that amount of time a lot has happened. One of my favorite things, which actually might be one of my favorite things for the rest of my life, Donald Jessica (John) Trump was finally arrested by the District Attorney of New York City, Alvin Bragg. In this  case, there are multiple cases against him at the moment, involves the hush money payment made to Stormy Daniels, during the 2016 Presidential campaign. He cheated, of course, but this time it is all coming back to haunt him.The next case, which will go to the jury next week, is the E. Jean Carroll defamation case. It will be a part of history soon, so I don't want to go into detail right now. I have the full complaint against him, if I can get it to embed in this post. I am not terribly savvy at that kind of thing. But all of his arrests are important to me, as will be his subsequent arrests and, I am sure, convictions!

 

 

So, why is this particular thing so damn important to me, that I am writing an entire post about it? Because I have been waiting to see this lawless criminal have his day. The chickens have finally come home to roost, just as they did for Rupert Murdock and Fox News, in the defamation suit brought by Dominion!  Trump lied about the election having been stolen, to their network, and then FOX new anchors repeated them on air, despite knowing and in some cases believing it all to be a lie. LORDY, there are tapes! Carlson is gone from the network now, a huge relief for the truth, why Laura Ingram and Hannity remain is a mystery! Perhaps they will be removed when they reach the lawsuit brought by the other voting machine company they disparaged, Smartmatic. Here's hoping they will be brought down. It's possible Maria Bartiromo, the other Fox news liar will be fired next. There is nothing behind her eyes anymore. She is simply a Trump cultist, and that's all that remains of here "soul".

 

Now, let me explain why there is a lovely Bonaparte's gull at the top of a post like this. You see, he represents hope. I have been doing a lot of birding since January. There have been a lot of birds that I didn't find last year, and in fact so many, that recently I exceeded my number from last year. Presently, I am at 136, besting last year by four. So I know I will end the year with many more, because there are easier to find during the summer and fall. Birding has healed me from a lot of the bad things that have happened the last few years, and really the decade. The first move, the hideous depressing second move, the mental break I suffered, Covid-19 (Omicron) the loss of taste and smell and other LONG-COVID symptoms from last year. The stress of purchasing the condo, and the sudden loss of money we had in the account we had saved from the sale of the house.

We are okay. We have fun birding and finding a bird as beautiful as the Bonaparte's gull excited me greatly. I had never seen one, and so it is always a thrill to discover a bird I haven't seen before. Despite finding so many birds, there has been a dreadful bird virus devastating the bird populations, but it seems like they are fighting back because I am finding more and more of the species that have been most affected, so that's awesome. The Pacific Flyway is closing for the year, but I am sure when it begins again in September, there will large numbers of my favorite avian friends. September is a glorious month for birding. I will never forget the sound of 4 Sandhill cranes arriving in Lodi, over Woodbridge road. It just filled my heart!

While DJT remains in the news, and will for some time to come, I have found some peace. The Proud Boys and Oath Keepers that have been arrested for their part in the January 6th attempted coup, have all be found guilty and that is a healing event as well. Perhaps we will hear GUILTY in regards to Trump as well, but if we do, it will be a while off from now. There is still a long way to go, before I am completely me again. But hey, another big step forward is that my eating has returned to nearly normal. I am able to have salad again! That was huge! And we ate out at Red Robin the other day, another victory! The fish and chips were amazing. To make a long story short, I am beginning to feel alive again, and I owe my bird friends, and all their beauty for helping me along the way. Well, that and the occasional GUILTY verdict!

 

It's all good. And Autumn is only a season away! We are two thirds through 2023, there is a lot more to come.

 

 

Me

 

 

Side A And Side B

"What's meant to be will always find a way."

~Tricia Yearwood

 

With the exception of the Leaf Of The Day, the pictures in this post are from 2016. I took them on vacation, on a spur of the moment trip in our new backyard, the California Central Valley. While we moved here in 2015, the summer and autumn of 2016 was the first chance we had to check out our new hometown, and the surrounding area. 2015 was a very busy year, and it had some demons in it, but things had calmed down by this point last year. The struggles I had last year were mostly about being tired, and still unsure of our financial situation, having just bought a new house, for the first time, in our mid 50's. Let me tell you, buying a new home is terriying, when you have been a lifelong renter. I never really appreciated the difference between renting and paying a mortgage. I do now! 

There are good and bad sides to that story! The good, is knowing after a hard day that the place you come home to is yours! The good is being able to put your unique fingerprint on it, as far as painting and landscaping go. The good side is the money it actually saves you. Believe it our not, you do actually get to keep a lot more of your own money, and if managed well, owning a home makes you feel much more secure about your old age! I have second guessed our decision to purchase many times, because of the circumstance that led us to purchase, but I am more sure now than ever that we did the right thing. The downside... oddly enough is also financial, in that I worry about whether we will be we able to fix the roof, should the shingles go flying or what to do if a mouse should find it's way into the wall, which as it turns out, it did one night!

The mouse story is actually pretty funny, but I will share that in a different post. This post is about owning a house, and the stress involved. And again, stress has different sides. Something can be extremely stressful, and funny as hell at the same time! Like going to a horror movie, that is unintentionally funny! Anyway, last year I was all over the place in my state of mind about my my personal life, and then I was pretty much freaked out about Trump, and the possibility that he could actually win the presidency. With both my waking worlds in turmoil, I think my photograhy suffered. I found solice out in the world with my camera, but I definitely wasn't seeing the world as instinctively as I had in previous years.

But it's a year later, and autumn, and I am heading back out with the camera, and yes, I took a decent photo or two of the full Harvest Moon, and I think, that so far, my Leaf Of The Day project is coming along okay, but I am fighting full on depression this year, so how will that be reflected in my photography? Will I be seeing only cynical darkness? Will the colors look different? Will it actually make my photography better, because I will have to make a greater effort to not just go out and take photos, but I will need to make careful plans to do so, sometimes forcing myself to complete the goal? Our vacation officially begins next Thursday, but I am going for a short ride to the small towns of the valley later today. It will be a chance to stretch that photography muscle. I don't know what I will come home with, but I am just going to load up the cameras, and hope for the best! What else can I do?

 

 #7 Leaf Of The Day

October 7th, 2017

Stockton, Ca 

Mood: Hopeful

~Me :) 

Is It Gone? Yep... HAPPY 2017!

Last photo of 2016

December 31st 2016 

"Hope smiles from the threshold of the new year to come whispering... 'it will be happier'..."

~Alfred Tenneyson 

If you have been reading along, you already know I haven't posted in over a week! You see, Alan and I have been sick with one of the worst colds either one of us has had in a long time. We both had colds last Christmas as well, but nothing compared to this year's fresh hell, but then FRESH HELL is pretty much how their entirety of 2016 could be summed up!

 I am not going to dwell, it's gone, and 2017 has just begun, so I am going to give it a fair chance. It has no fault in the shitshow that was 2016. It's not responsible for all the deaths and destruction. It's just a new year, and while I see a lot of room for catastrophe, lets hold onto the one bit of hope that continues to see me through the pain of 2016...

Donald Trump lost the popular vote by 2.9 million votes.

That means there are still more people

 who think straight than don't.

There is a great deal of hope in that. 

WELCOME 2017!

Don't Let Me Down!

Mood: Encouraged

~Me :)

Walking In Leaves, Walking In Heaven

"I love autumn despite the drench weather. I think it symbolizes the end of misery and the beginning of glee. It gives hopes that sooner or later, flowers will bloom again, green buds will sprout from trees, and that which is dead will come back alive."

~Aishah Madadiy

Bits Of Heaven

It's December... so what? LOL. More than anything I want to hold onto autumn, but I can feel it slipping away. It was so cold the other day I could barely hold my camera. Winter is making a loud, cold fuss, insinuating itself into my late autumn happiness. But there is nothing I can do, but cling to the colors of plum, crimson, and lemon drop yellow, and ignore the cold bitter deathly chill of stupid, inevitable, winter. I am just going to go about my days, kicking up piles of beautiful leaves, and concentrating on my photography!

There will be a lot of autumn left, as winter begins. And I will keep shooting those photos until the last skeleton tree begins to sprout the pink, and white and purple blossoms of spring!

Leaf Of The Day

December 9th 2016

 

 

Mood: Happy

 

~Me :) 

 

 

Can 2016 Just Die Already?

"If you are good at building bridges,

 you will never fall into the abyss."

~Mehmet Murat ildan

Another new night photo as I continue to practice with the new camera! Sacramento's Tower Bridge, taken the night before Thanksgiving. I was pretty happy with how it came out, but I need to do a lot more before I am completely comfortable. It takes time to build self confidence in working with a new camera, but I am trying because it's a nice distraction from worldly messes I have NO control over. Most of the time I believe, even in the darkest times, there will eventually come a time when one looks back and laughs at the circumstances that scared or angered them. The sun comes up every single day, whether we are ready for it or not. Sigh. I don't know that I will ever look back on 2016 and laugh. 2016 needs to just die already! But if I do, I will amend this post.

 

Mood: Quiet

~Me 

History... Made Daily

"Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'"

~Issac Asimov 

We are finally here. When all is said and done, at the end of today, history will be made. We will have elected either the first woman president, or the first reality star to make it to the presidency. Reality TV? Has it finally gotten to the point that folks can't tell what's real and what isn't? Email? Good thing or the DEVIL? And what about Twitter? Should there be an emotional maturity level that has to be reached before you can use it?

Shrug.?.

No matter which way the election goes, we will revisit those questions at some point in the near future. Right now I want to go and edit some photographs I took this past week. I want to get a nice, long, hot shower. I want to pet the cats and play laser mouse with them. I want to eat some popcorn, with extra butter, and play my favorite music really loud! I want to dance. I want to sing into a hairbrush. I want to play WordBird. I want to just relax for a little while before I go to bed, because later today will have it's moments, good and bad, and I can only imagine what the history books will say about this chapter in American politics. In American life. 

Today...

History will be made.

 Just like it does at the stroke of midnight every single day. 

 Leaf Of The Day

November 8th 2016

Mood: Hopeful

~Me :)