A Big Sun In A Small Sky

"The magic of autumn has seized the countryside; now that the sun isn't ripening anything it shines for the sake of the golden age; for the sake of Eden; to please the moon for all I know."

~Elizabeth Coatsworth

Personal Geography: Almost An Autobiography

It was a beautiful, if not apocalyptic appearing, sunset last night, as smoke from the fires continue! I believe the firefighters have the upper hand, finally, and Mother Nature will be helping out over Thanksgiving, with some much needed rain. That will be good for clearing the air, and in extinguishing the fires, but it will also present a whole new tragedy, as it will make it difficult to continue to search for remains among the devastation. And in Southern California, the rain will present a whole new nightmare in the form of mudslides. 

Honestly, I am not sure how much more can happen to California, except we haven't had an earthquake in a long time, and I am becoming nervous. I need to call our insurance company and add some specific earthquake insurance to our policy. It makes sense if you, own a home, and live in California. You just never know when a natural disaster will come knocking at your door! Sigh. I am tired. I am sad. I feel stressed for the survivors, but Alan and I did give a small donation last night, through a charitable account our mayor, Michael Tubbs, set up to help the victims. It felt good to do something! I hope as we move along over the next few months, we can do more!

As I said in a previous post, Donald Trump came to Paradise last Saturday, to meet the firefighters and first responders, and offer his support. It was what was expected of him, and of course he never misses a chance for a photo op, but if he was going to come, why, WHY, couldn't he have at least gotten the name of the town right? When I heard he couldn't even get the name right, despite being told three times in front of the press,  I wanted to just scream into the night...

It's PARADISE, California not PLEASURE, California! MOTHERFUCKER! 

He called the town, PLEASURE!

Motherfucker.

Sigh! 

#59 Leaf Of The Day

November 19th, 2018

Tilden Park

Little Farm

October 29th 2018

Samsung

~Mood: Angry

~Me

 

This Autumn's Sorrow

October 29th, 2018

Ione, California

Samsung

"The wind I hear it sighing, with autumn's saddest sound; withered leaves all thick and lying, as spring-flowers on the ground. This dark night has won me to wander far away; old feelings gather fast upon me."

~Emily Bronte

The Complete Poems Of Emily Bronte

Volume 1

 

Where to begin? I feel selfish for being so sad about my own  feelings about not being able to enjoy autumn the way I want too. The air is still thick with smoke from the multiple fires raging in California. As the tragedy continues, the death toll has climbed to 77, and about 1,300 are missing, and that total has only climbed the last couple days, so I fear by tomorrow at this time, there is a strong likelihood it will go even higher, so what the actual HELL am I doing complaining?

Having to be indoors on an autumn day, has always broken my heart! Whether it be from illness, or work, or any reason actually, being inside, when every leaf outside is bursting with amazing, individual, joyous life of color, saddens me touches something deep down, and I've never known why. It simply does. It's like a creative knife to my inside. It hurts. I remember, when I was about four years old, throwing a shit fit the size of the moon, after my parents cut down a Maple tree in our front yard! They had to, it was messing with the underground pipes. It wasn't their choice, but with each sound of the branches hitting the ground, I kept a mental track of how often I would get them back for daring to cut down a tree!

I never sought revenge. But I was one mad four year old for a long time. I think until I turned about 40, when I planted a Japanese Maple tree in the backyard of my cottage in Berkeley. That made me feel better, but again, another tree and I had to part ways when we moved to Stockton. It's was okay, it was healthy and on it's way to a good long life, and the tree and I had a good long cry before I left. We parted friends. 

But back to the fire.

The Paradise fire has been so destructive, it's left a wound in California that more than likely won't heal in my lifetime. The winds tomorrow could gust to as much as 35 mph! That is going to cause further devastation, and I am praying the firefighters will be able to get the upper hand before that happens. It seems as if the people of Paradise just can't catch a break. But again, I am putting some prayer in for them, and Trump has promised to get some federal disaster funding their way. And that's all I care to say about the horse's ass. Except... HE'S A HORSES ASS!

So, again, why do I have any reason to mope like a brat, when I have a home, and husband who loves me, and three little furballs who also love me, and keep me warm? Last night, Joey came in the theater room, and sat between Alan and I. It was so wonderful. We watched, Once Upon A Time In America! It was the first time either of us had seen it, and we enjoyed it immensely, but from time to time, as the smell of smoke made it's way into the house, I felt nothing but sadness. Sad for the people of Paradise, California, and sad for myself.

What the HELL do I have to feel sad about?

Why does autumn cause me to lose all reason?

Fire scares me. It has since I was 3 years old.

I did make it out last night for a little while, but the smoke drove me back in after only about 20 minutes or so.

 Here are a few photos from my walk.

The smoke is turning everything an unnatural shade, but this is what autumn looks like this year in Northern California. 

Pray for us!

 #58 Leaf Of The Day

November 18th 2018

Tilden Park

Little Farm

Berkeley, California

October 11th 2018

 ~Mood: Sad But Grateful

~Me

 

Maybe Late Afternoon Is Autumn

"Maybe late afternoon is autumn; summer's retreat not being archived, but suspended, as the feathered vane of the bird wings it's way across the avenue."

~Michelle Cahill

The Accidental Cage 

It makes me sad to have to dig though my October files, to be able to post a little autumn, but it's what has to be done, until the rain comes in late next week, and clears the air of the heavy toxins lingering from the fire up north. I used to enjoy it when the air turned cold, and I could smell the wood burning fireplaces in the neighborhood, but at the moment it just makes me terribly sad. My goodness, a roaring fireplace is as a part of all the wonderful memories of late autumn, as leaves pumpkin pie and hot apple cider are. There air is so thick with smoke, my eyes are burning, and as nightfall comes, it only gets worse. I am devastated for the victims of the fire in Paradise, it's a complete HELL space there. A lot of natural beauty was lost, and it will be years before it's restored, if it ever is! So, I expect, for the remainder of my autumn journey, I will be posting my Leaf Of The Day photos, but perhaps not very many landscapes. Not this year. Maybe I can learn to find autumn elsewhere for a little while.

 #57 Leaf Of The Day

November 17th 2018

Photographed October 11th, 2018

Samsung

~Mood: Tired

~Me

But You Can't Plead With Autumn

"But you can't plead with autumn. No. The midnight wind stalked through the woods, hooted to frightened you, swept everything away for the approaching winter, whirled the leaves."

~Yevgeny Zamyatin

We

The season of autumn, in California, has officially turned chilly. Thanksgiving is less that a week away, and all I really want to do is drink a hot cup of cocoa, and nap with my cats. I love autumn, but it's getting painful now. The arthritis in my hands is interfering with what I would like to be doing, which is, of course, being out with my camera daily. I haven't been out in a few days, but I did make it out to my porch early last night, even if it was painful. I have been trying to keep an eye on how the smoke from the fire up north, is affecting the appearance of the moon. The air in the Central Valley is still listed as unhealthy, and I have been having trouble breathing, but apparently the air in the Bay Area is even worse. Because of the smoke, and my physical pain, I am not sure how much more natural autumn I will be able to experience this year, but I will find it when and where I can. You know me, if there is an autumn leaf still on a tree, I will find it. In the mean time, snuggles with the cats is a pretty nice part of autumn too!

 #56 Leaf Of The Day

November 16th 2018

Photographed October 29th 2018

Stockton, California

Samsung

~Mood: Quiet

~Me

 

At The Haggin: The History Of The Stockton Fire Department

"History, Stephen said,

 is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake."

~James Joyce

 ~Ulysses

My heart continues to go out to the town of Paradise, California, as they continue to battle the raging inferno consuming the community. Almost, if not all, has been lost. It is a distinct possibility that the town of Paradise will never recover. Just cease to be a destination in Butte County, California, and that thought truly breaks my heart, because that area has a special place in my heart, especially this time of year! It is simply breathtaking in autumn, and I have been at the edge of the county many times, while traveling into Plumas, County, where I have done most of my autumn landscapes in recent years.

I don't think about fire much. It just happens to be one of my top three phobias, so avoid it as much as possible. Spiders are phobias number one and two, but fire, well, ever since I was about three years old, has been the thing I fear most. It all started one night in the middle of the summer, in 1965, when my three year old self, watched my father, and his carpool friends, save our neighbors two doors down. When he and his coworkers turned the corner onto our street, the house was already fully engulfed. Dad was the first one to run into the house. 

My sister, who was a good bit older than me, held me in her arms as we watched our dad, save a whole house full of people, a whole family, one by one. I was terrified that he wouldn't come out. Or worse, would my father come out on fire? Thankfully, I never had to see that, and there was no loss of life, but I can imagine all those children who lived in the town of Paradise, and how hard this experience was and will be for them, the rest of their lives. I am praying that the community can heal, and rebuild.

 I wish life didn't have to include times like this, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but I am so glad that I can visit museums, like the Haggin, here in Stockton, and begin to learn not just about my new hometown, but it's rich history, and especially about it's early disaster response. Alan and I had a fascinating look, during our recent visit to the Haggin, and I will be sharing the amazing bits of other historical interests we learned about, but where else could I start this series, but with a little bit about the Stockton Fire Department's early history!

Can you believe that was the way fires were telegraphed in Stockton until 1979?! 

That was the one piece of history I could have lived without seeing, but it seems the town of Stockton, did pretty good with keeping the town and surrounding rural area safe! 

 #55 Leaf Of The Day

November 15th, 2018

Photographed October 14th, 2018

Sacramento, California

~Mood: Okay

~Me

 

Autumn Adventures

"Plunge boldly into the thick of life,

 and seize it where you will, it is always interesting."

~Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

I moved to Stockton, California, in 2015. It wasn't by choice. I have never been a fan of the Central Valley, with it's miles and miles of farm land, and heat, but thrust into the valley I was nonetheless!  The Bay Area has Karl the Fog to cool things down, but the Central Valley has nothing but dust, cows and heat. So moving here made me a little depressed to say the least. I am coming out of it, and beginning to feel the roots take hold, but God I miss my former home! The Bay Area has everything you want, within a 20 minute drive. Stockton has plenty right here in town, but it's not... well... terribly exciting! It's definitely come a long way since I moved here in 2015, and especially since Mayor Michael Tubbs was elected in 2016, but it's the Central Valley, and at the end of the day, it is what it is. Farmland. Miles and miles of farmland.

Farmland all the way to Sacramento.

Farmland.

But Stockton does have a couple other unique things going for it. It is not only home to the wonderful Bob Hope Theater, but it has a lot of California history to it, and it is also the hometown of Stan Lee's The Fantastic Four! But what's even cooler than that, it's the home of Indiana Jones! Now, the Fantastic Four being residents of Stockton is non-disputed history, and with the passing of Stan Lee a couple days ago, I thought it would be fitting to do an upcoming post about his tribute to my city, but lets keep things a little more lighthearted in the mean time, shall we?

While the Wiki for Raider's Of The Lost Ark  states Dr. Jones, works as a professor of Archeology at Marshall College, the exterior of the college shown in the movies was shot at the University of the Pacific, right here in Stockton! And in the very first movie of the Indiana Jones franchise, Dr. Jones is seen leaving for his quest to find the ark, from an airport that takes him on his flight path, directly under the Golden Gate Bridge. Therefore, there is only one conclusion that can be arrived at, Marshall College, is a cute nickname for the University of the Pacific, that just never caught on!

Dr. Henry (Indy) Jones jr, hails from Stockton, California!

Now, I ask you, how fucking cool is that?

It's the one exciting thing the Bay Area can't claim

Indiana Jones!

And there you have it!

:)

I admit, I posted a similar musing about this a couple years ago, but still, it's worth repeating every once in a while, especially since we seem to be fighting Nazi's again! By the way, has PUNCH A NAZI DAY come around yet? God, I love that holiday! Just kidding!

Actually... NO, NOT KIDDING! ;)

 #54 Leaf Of The Day

November 14th 2018

Photographed October 21st

Cull Canyon California

~Mood: Happy
~Me

My Hair And Alan And An Autumn Leaf

Autumn has come

and reason has gone.

Yesterday, I sold the sun for you

and tonight the stars are running away from me.

When you spoke

you slowly annihilated my world.

Your mouth was like the sea

in your kisses I sank.

Your hands were like the ocean

in your caresses I sank.

I ask for no salvation on this moonless night.

I only ask for more autumn.

~Kamand Kojouri

Vacation is officially over. Time to resume real life for another year! No all day movie-a-thons. No more late night, disgusting snack runs for nachos and ice cream. No more just jumping in the car and going where it tells us to go. No, it's back to real life. Responsibilities. Fear of Trump. Fear of paying the mortgage and utilities. Real life. But thank goodness that in that real life, there also exists the love of my life, Alan. Oh, and there is still some autumn to be discovered, so the vacation might be over, but the adventure continues... with Alan, autumn, and my hair apparently. But gosh, when the alarm clock sounds in the morning, I will feel just a little sad, that he won't just be down the hall. I love that man! 

#53 Leaf Of The Day

November 13th 2018

Phtotgraphed November 12th 2018

Stockton, California

~Mood: Happy/Sad

~Me :)

 

Fire In The Sky

Fire wants to burn

Water wants to flow

Air wants to rise

Earth wants to bind

Chaos want to devour

Cal wants to live.

~Cassandra Clare

 The Iron Trial

The light you see, is the reflection of the sun, bouncing off the tower of Preston Castle, in Ione, California. The sun has changed into an eerie red color, that I have photographed only a handful of times, mostly when there have been out of control wildfires, like we are experiencing right now in California, but honestly, this is the absolute worst I have ever seen it!

Alan and I live in Stockton, which is about 180 miles from the biggest fire, the Camp Fire, in Paradise, California. It has already been determined that this fire is the deadliest fire in California history! And the smoke has turned the air quality in the state into an unhealthy mess. But that isn't what hurts me. The loss of life does.  The lost of dreams. And all that's coming from is disparagement from out JACKASS of a president. 

History will record his words.

 I won't darken my blog quoting him!

Gallery

November 11th 2018

Communities of Galt

Ione

Lodi

Stockton

The Moon, turned blood red, by the smoke!

From 180 miles away!

Stockton, California

Ione, California

Ione, California

 Stockton, California

 #52 Leaf Of The Day

November 12th 2018

Photographed October 14th 2018

Cull Canyon, California

Samsung

~Mood: Sad

~Me

Tears In Autumn

Saturday, November 10th 2018

4:30 pm.

"Tears are words that need to be written."

~Paulo Coelho

California is on fire. From the community of Paradise, to the fire in Malibu and Thousand Oaks, it is one big tragedy. Where is President Trump, well, he's in France insulting everyone who fought in WWII and pouting in his hotel room, because he doesn't want to get his hair wet!

Forget it. I don't want to deal with his useless ass. I am so sorry that my fellow Californians are going through these wildfires.We have been very lucky in the Central Valley, but one has to wonder how long that luck will last. 

We are clearing brush. We are going to keep paperwork handy in case we need to get out quickly, and beyond that I thank GOD for homeowners insurance. TVs, Clocks, and computers can be replaced, Alan and the boys can't.

Pray for California please.

 #51 Leaf Of The Day

November 11th 2018

Photographed November 10th 2018

Stockton, California

~Mood: Sad

~Me