So Happy I'm In Love With My Best Friend...

From For Ellipsis

"I love being married, It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

-Rita Rudner

True story... I fell for Alan all over again yesterday. Let me explain. You see, we have been having a lot of problems with our HP computer. It's less then 2 years old, but within the last month or so a major display driver has apparently stopped working. I have done everything I can think of to fix the problem, short of taking it to a qualified professional. That will be my next step, but in the mean time I am coming to you via my old, very slow, aged back up putt-putt computer I affectionately call "Meghan the 1st." Yesterday it became crystal clear that I needed to just shut down the HP and plug in the putt-putt, which is what I did. Alan, suggested that after I finished all the updates, downloads and uploads to Meghan the 1st, we go to Best Buy and do some computer shopping to see what's out there and available for when we are ready to make the purchase. It sounded like a great idea, so off we went.

I walked out the front door first, and Alan was right on my heals. I managed the 2 steps down, turned to ask him a question, when IT happened...

We both fell.

Well actually, Alan missed the last step, and fell into and then onto me!

OUCH!

OH MY ACHING BUTT!!

Damn... That was too funny!

There I sat, flat of my bum, on the cold funky cement, with a rather large man on top of me, and all I could think to do, even through the pain in my butt, shoulder, wrist, and knee, was to laugh. My sick sense of humor found it hysterical. LOL. Alan was scared to death that I had hurt myself, and as any excellent husband would do, repeated "Carly, are you ok?" over and over and over, but I couldn't answer him because I was laughing too hard! WEEBOLES WABBLE BUT ALAN DOESN'T!" ROFL! Even today, as I sit here telling you the story, I am completely laughing about the whole thing! My back hurts, my shoulder hurts, my bum really hurts... but it's still too funny!

So, opinions, opinions, am I just crazy or is there really some kind of sick humor in two grown people falling down? You know, Whoopie Goldberg once said that you can't have comedy without some kind of drama being involved. Take the case of someone slipping on a banana peel... to the person falling it's high drama, but to the person across the street it's slapstick humor! Gosh, I wish I could have seen us yesterday... I bet I would have laughed just as hard. And now Alan thinks I am the coolest wife ever because I didn't think him a silly oaf. :)

Have you ever been involved in a moment of spontaneous humor? Do you laugh at your own foibles? Tell me what you think.

Oh, and by the way, I am now off to do some nice safe new computer research from the comfort of my donut pillow, with my codeine by my side, at C-NET. Wish me luck!

-Carly

Alan Will Do Anything To Avoid Seeing Sex And The City!

"Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole in one."

-Unknown

As the title of this entry says, Alan will do anything to avoid seeing the new movie, Sex And The City. I have been asking, pleading, and subtly hinting at him for weeks, that I wanted him to take me to see the movie on it's opening day, which was yesterday. When I would ask however, he would change the subject. He would kiss me, pet the cat, make himself tomato soup, turn the channel on the TV to CNN, clean the grill, make Jalapeno Poppers, go out for sushi, all of these things and more, rather than commit to seeing the ultimate chick flick that is Sex And The City. Funny thing, I seem to remember that when I watched the show, when it aired originally on HBO, Alan would sit and laugh, and gaze at Kim Cattralls BOOBs and sometimes join me in a little outrage as one, or more of the men, especially Mr. Big, did something... well... jerky! I mean even Alan knew Aiden was a creep for breaking up with Carrie on a Post-It note! LOL.

I think I knew that going to the movie was a long shot, but even yesterday I held out a little hope until Alan pulled out all the stops to avoid going. He dropped a crescent wrench on his head! LOL. Ok, well, that isn't really accurate, it wasn't really self inflicted, it fell on the top of his head in a freak accident in the garage, but man, the timing couldn't have been better. Alan had called me earlier in the day, and relayed that he wasn't having the best of days, so I told him to just come home after work, and we would have a quiet evening. No biggie. On his way in, he stopped in the garage to see if there was room to hang a bike holder, and that is when it happened. He thought he had put the wrench on the shelf, but he had missed it by that much!

"Carly, don't make a big deal out of it... I think I hurt my head a little bit," he says. "Alan, you need to go get that looked at." "No, nope... it's not that bad." "Yes, yes it is Alan." After a few minutes of heated debate, I grabbed my camera and photographed the top of his head. " Well crap! Ok Carly, call the doctor." LOL. And within 20 minutes we were on our way. He was right, it looked a whole lot worse then it was. No stitches needed, not tetanus shot needed, and we were home in a few hours with a Chinese food and root beer feast. :) I missed the movie opening, but Alan is well, and that makes me happy. Besides I can see the movie anytime this summer, and in 6 months or so it will premiere on HBO. I'll ask him to watch it with me then... except I will hide all the wrenches! LOL.

-OndineMonet
"Alan At The Hospital"
Kaiser Hospital
Oakland, California
May 29, 2008
Late Afternoon

Have You Ever Stubbed Your Head?

"There will be rubs and disappointments everywhere, and we are all apt to expect too much; but then, if one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better; we find comfort somewhere..."

-Jane Austin

Have you ever stubbed your toe? Of course you have! Stubbing ones toe is one of those wonderful human traits that all humans share. At some point we have all stubbed a toe. I have come to believe that God gave us certain parts of our bodies for reasons only he can fathom. The appendix is a good example. It doesn't really do much of anything but sit there and wait to perforate. You don't forget THAT pain if it has ever happened to you. I remember it like it was yesterday, but in fact, it was when I was 7 years old. It hurt. Large! And I still remember it. I remember the hospital stay, and I remember all I wanted when I got home after a two week stay away, was a big plate of my mother's homemade French Fries. Ahh yes, that's the stuff. LOL.

And then there's the spleen. Now that part of our bodies does actually perform a duty, but I learned from watching soap opera's in the 1970's that if you are in a car accident, and your spleen is damaged, you can live a full, healthy life without one. LOL. Didn't it seem like a lot of soap character's seemed to loose their spleens? Every time there was a car accident on one of those fantastic flights of afternoon fantasy, I just knew the spleen would be lost yet again. LOL. I wonder if Soap Opera Digest has ever done a round up of which characters have fallen to this fate? Hmmm... I may have to send them that request.

Anyway, I am thinking about stubbed toes and spleens, because this past week, something unusual took place in our house. We all three stubbed our heads. I went first, you see, Alan and I have been making friends with our new computer, and that requires that we eventually get around to hooking up all the hardware such as the printer and the headphones and the speakers and such. All the outside things that goes with computer ownership. And that is where the hilarity begins.

I was under the desk the other day, trying to find the power strip, when Elvis came over to assist me. I didn't know Alan had let him in the house, so imagine my surprise when a giant, black, hairy, tail decided to swat my unsuspecting face. LOL. YIKES! TWACK! BANG! Yes, not once, but twice I stubbed my brain against the edge of the desk. (Insert unladylike swear word here). LOL. I had hit my head so hard, I saw bubbles. Some people see little birdies swirling about their head, not me, I see bubbles. I got over it quickly, and Alan, Elvis and I had a good giggle about it, but man did my head hurt.

Very early the next morning, Elvis decided he was hungry at the ungodly hour of 3:30 AM. I usually try reasoning with him, which sometimes work, but on this day he would have none of it. Breakfast was being demanded... now! "Alan, the baby wants breakfast," I whispered loudly, "Can you feed the baby?" YAWN. "Ok Carly, I will feed him," Alan said sleepily. Ordinarily we feed Elvis around 6 or so, and then give him his insulin within a couple hours of that, but since he was eating early today, we would have to adjust the clock so we don't miss giving him his medicine. Alan was very sweet to get up for me.

I heard Alan pour the crunchies into the bowl, and then I heard a distinct TWACK! Swear word, swear word, swear word!!! "Alan, what happened?" "I stubbed my head Carly, where did those containers come from?" Ut oh! I forgot I had stacked some freshly packed some large plastic packing containers just the day before. Poor Alan. He had hit his head on the corner of one of the containers. As he climbed back into bed, I saw that he had quite a scratch across his forehead and a tiny bit of blood was already oozing from it. :(

He and I talked for a moment or two, and then fell into laughter about how clumsy we had been in the last 24 hours. We both now had bruises and scars across our foreheads. What would people think? And as we laid there giggling at ourselves, we hear Elvis run head first into the entertainment center, as he chased his invisible mouse. But that's nothing new, he has been doing that since he was a wee baby kitty. I am surprised he can think as straight as he does. LOL. That's just us, we do everything together! Including stubbing our heads. ;)

-OndineMonet
"I See Bubbles"
Berkeley, California
March 29, 2008
Afternoon