Wednesday, April 05, 2017

Yard Rose In Black And White

"Black and white is is a mix of
 toughest simplicity
 and easiest complexity."

~Vikrmn Corpkshetra

I did a walk around the yard yesterday afternoon, but my new friend the pheasant had moved along. Not to be found. But what I did find was this gorgeous red rose by the gate, so I photographed it instead. I have to thank my friend the pheasant, if it hadn't been for him, I might not have pushed myself to pick up the camera. Sometimes life just comes together, and encouragement comes from the strangest, yet perfect sources.

Mood: Quiet


Tuesday, April 04, 2017

Seeing Tomorrow Again

"A photograph can be an instant of life captured for eternity that will never cease looking back at you."

~Brigitte Bardot

My friend the pheasant was back in the yard today. Earlier than yesterday, and I was able to capture a beautiful shot or two. It was very therapeutic. I sure hope he sticks around for a while. He is kind, and quiet... eats bugs and spiders, and so far has been kind about where he poops. In short, he is the perfect guest! I am glad I dreamed about him! He is good for me right now.

Just look at that face...

Hello Gorgeous!

Mood: Happy

~Me :)


Monday, April 03, 2017

Seeing Tomorrow

"The excitement of dreams coming true
 is beyond the description of words."

~Lailah Gifty Akita 

Friday night, into Saturday morning, I dreamed about pheasants. They were just walking all around me. Mostly female, but there was one or two males as well. It was so odd, because it was so specific! I hadn't seen pheasants since moving to Stockton, and I was a bit perplexed about why I would dream something like that. I looked up the meaning of the dream, in an online dream dictionary, and as it turns out it's a pleasant enough omen. It means that I am moving into a more centered existence in both my creative and personal life. I like that! It's been a hell of a couple years, I need this time. I need some contentment.

With the renovations going so well, and the financial situation coming to a clearer place, I think I can finely stop and breathe. And maybe get back out with the camera! I miss that passion. I wish the photo I took last night had come out better, but the pain from my fibromyalgia was hindering my ability to get a really stunning shot of that beautiful bird. Hopefully he will be in the yard again tomorrow, and I will be able to have a really nice session with the camera! Sometimes I dream. And sometimes they come true. Shrug. I guess it happens to everyone once in a while.

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

The First Full Day Of Spring

"She turned to the sunlight
And shook her yellow head
And whispered to her neighbor...
Winter is dead." 
~A. A, Milne
When We Were Very Young

I guess I should have posted my Welcome To Spring post yesterday, but I completely forgot about it! I used to think about photography, and the turning of the seasons. I used to enjoy documenting things like that, but that was before Trunp. As much as I hate to admit it, I find myself either consumed with Trump and his shenanegans, or with working on the house, or with paying bills. It's a tough time right now. I flux between being scared to death and too tired to feel anything. It seems like life was a lot easier before Trump decided to take over the world.

Was it really? Or did it just seem that way? I am not sure. I guess there have always been things to worry about in the news, but with every other president that I can remember, I don't think I went to bed scared every single night. I do now. Will I wake up to the sounds of sirens going off, warning us that a missile is on the way? Did he collude with the Russians? And if he did... is it too late to undo whatever damage that has been done? And what about all the people that are going to lose not just their health care, but the very food out of their mouths?

I flux between feeling deeply sad for them, and resentful that they refused to listen when we told them Trump was a charlatan. It's all so sad... so frustrating. Yesterday, James Comey admitted that the Trump and associates have been under criminal investigation since last July, yet nothing was said prior to the election. Comey sure found a way to plant serious doubts about Clinton, but didn't tell anyone about the Trump investigation. Unbelievable. And yet I believe it! Our own FBI swayed the election toward a man under criminal investigation for colluding with a foreign government attempting to undermine our democracy.

So yeah... I am in a bit of a fog. The seasons are just going by. Hopefully the fog of this past winter will lift soon, and things will be clearer this spring and summer. I hope so.

Welcome To Spring

 Mood: Quiet


Friday, March 17, 2017

Happy St. Patricks Day

"St. Patrick's Day is an enchanted time...
 a day to begin transforming winter's dreams into summer's magic."

~Adrienne Cook

May your blessings outnumber
The shamrocks that grow
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go!

~Irish Blessing

Happy St. Patrick's Day! 

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

"Casting a curious gaze down on planet Earth, extra-terrestrial beings could well be forgiven for assuming that we humans are programmed in every move we make, by a palm-sized, oblong, slab of glass. More perplexing that that, who on earth could convince them otherwise?"

~Alex Morritt
Impromptu Scribe 

Meet my knew cell phone. There was a time when the most sophisticated cell phone out there, had a little animated creature, in black and white, that bounced up and down and crisscross and was called a screensaver. And that was top of the line. I remember the phone like it was yesterday. It was 2002 and it was a cute little Nokia. It was about 4 inches thick, and came with all kinds of goodies. I could change it color just by slipping it into a new cover! It was a great phone... for 2002.

The difference between the phones then and now is how long they last. Like the TV's we all our parents owned,  and see sat glued to growing up in the 1960's and 70's, technology was made to last! You could own a TV for 15 or 20 years, my parents did. But today... forget about it. Two years tops! My last phone was a Samsung 5. It was a great phone, but I filled up those 16 gigs early, and it pretty much began to lose it's mind a year ago, so I have been limping along, waiting until my contract with AT&T was finally over. That day came last weekend, and it was off to the T-Mobile store for a new phone, and a new experience!

So far, so good. Two lines, unlimited TTD. Welcome to 2017. Two free phones came with the deal, and we liked our old Samsung Galaxy phones, so all we really did was upgrade to a newer model. I am having a good time with getting acquainted with my new pal, but I have to admit there are things about my old friend that I miss. Mostly basic superficial things. 

Mind you, I am not interested in going back to my old senile phone, but it's never easy saying goodbye to something, or someone, you love, and let's face it, I love having a cell phone, so I have built many different, meaningful relationships over the years, and because I tend to think of certain inanimate objects as people, I can't bear to part with them when it's time to move on. I have never broken up well. I miss them, or it, and I go through the stages of grief and then one day, eventually, I move on. My last cell phone and I survived a lot together. The most profound being a close encounter with a tarantula. But, at the end of the day... we both knew it was time to say goodbye.

 Most of the time it goes just fine with the new relationship.

 Let's face it, an upgrade is usually a good thing!


We both knew it. So on to better days!

I'm happy, and I will still use my phone for photography!

It's all good!

There is one thing I find myself resenting about my nifty new cell phone, and all the cell phones in my past for that matter, is the fact that they have made wrist watches obsolete, or unnecessary. I really miss wearing a watch. I had a small collection of them and I liked wearing them as a fashion accessory very much. Wearing a watch now doesn't seem so much fashionable as... useless.
 I really miss my watches. But I because of my cell phone, I always know exactly what time it is!


Mood: Happy

~Me :)


Thursday, March 02, 2017

Marching On

"It was one of those March days
 when the sun shines bright and the wind blows cold:
 when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade."

~Charles Dickens
Great Expectations

It's the last few weeks of winter, but you wouldn't know it. The hard rain of this past few months has finally let up, although we are due for a small storm this coming Sunday! The rain has been healing both for my moods, and for the drought damaged Central Valley! Everything is a beautiful green, or if in full bloom, pick, purple, white and a dark pink! It's pretty, and it inspires me to grab the camera and search for beauty. I didn't photograph much of winter, I just wasn't in the mood, but as my mood thaws, so does the earth, and it's just too much beauty to not embrace.

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

Wednesday, February 08, 2017


"I have a dream that one day this nation
 will rise up and live to the true meaning of it's creed.
 "We hold these truth to be self evident
 that all men are created equal." 

~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
"I Have A Dream" 

Last night, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell stopped Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass) from reading a letter, written in 1986, by the widow of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., in which she detailed her opposition of Jeff Sessions appointment to a federal judgeship. Senator Warren was merely reading word for word from the passionate letter, when she was told, basically, to sit down and shut up. But Senator Warren could not be silenced and I admire her courage! Here is a link to both the letter written by Mrs. King, and the full article from the Huffington Post.

Our nation is changing every day, and not for the better. It is losing it's very soul. President Donald J. Trump hasn't been in office three weeks and he is already filling his cabinet with big donors and Goldman Sac's grifters. What has our country come to, and will we survive the deep, devastating damage being done to us? Make no mistake... If Senator Warren has the courage to keep on going, I will do all I can to support her efforts. We must be brave. We must fight, with must rise up with courage, and make our voices heard. Now, more than any other time in my lifetime, is the time to be heard and we will NOT SIT DOWN! WE WILL NOT FORGET! AND WE WILL NOT SHUT UP!



Friday, January 27, 2017

There's Good News And Bad News

"Rarely is the question asked... Is our children learning?

~George W. Bush

Florence, South Carolina
January 11th, 2000

Hey, the good news is we made it a week! Trump has been in office a whole week, although he claims his first real day was this past Monday, but anyway, as of the writing this blog post, we are all still alive! That's better than I thought we would do, so, here's to getting to next Friday alive! And now for the bad news... It seems a plastic rain poncho got the best of Dubya at Trump's Inauguration. That DICK Cheney, shitting behind him in that cheesy cowboy hat, didn't even help him put it on, he just sat there and smirked. The DICK! But that's not the bad news... the bad news is Dubya is still dumb as a stick, but he will always be smarter, and more likable than Donald Trump!

God I Miss George W. Bush!


My life!

Mood: Quiet


Thursday, January 26, 2017

Love Was All Around

I don't have a lot of really good memories from my childhood. It was a difficult time, but I don't dwell on the painful times too much anymore, instead I think about the moments here and there that brought me the most comfort in those painful turbulent times. I did a lot of reading as a child, I almost always had a book either in my hand, or close by, and when there wasn't a book by my side, there was a newspaper. I loved reading, to make sense of the world around me. I also watched TV, especially after my brother left for Viet Nam. I wanted to know why he was gone, why he left me, and if he would be coming back.

As you might guess, I learned to grasp the world around me a little earlier than most kids, and when other kids didn't want to discuss Watergate... lol... I would feel a bit out of place. I always loved TV and I wasn't so single minded about the world that I only watched the news and 60 Minutes, I watched sitcoms, because I also learned at a young age that humor was another great escape from the sadness!

I watched the Monkees, and I had a mad crush on Micky Dolenz. I loved Star Trek, "Space, the final frontier" and who didn't want Rob and Laura Petrie (The Dick Van Dyke Show) for the their parents? I missed that show when it went off the air, but was thrilled to death when Mary Tyler Moore came back to TV in her own show, called, of course, The Mary Tyler Moore Show. From the first episode, I was hooked. Mary Richards was my big sister, and I loved watching along with my real sister, as we tuned in each week to see what was in Mary's closet. Mary had a classic style that could still be pulled off to this day!

I loved every season of the show's seven year run, but my favorite episode came right out the gate, in season one. It was season one, episode three... "Bess Is Your Daughter Now." It was all about Mary bonding with her friend Phyllis's daughter Bess, and the transformation of what had been a strained relationship into what would become a lifelong appreciation for each other. From that episode on, Bess referred to Mary as "Aunt Mary,"and it all came about because Mary took the time to get to know a 10 year old girl,  Bess, and form that friendship. 

I was about Bess's age, and I think I thought of Mary Richards as my TV aunt from then on as well. It impressed me that someone Mary's age would make the effort to not just spend time with Bess, but truly find out about who Bess was. Not everyone has the ability to bond when children, or the patience, at least that had been my experience, and I also had a mother who deeply resented any friendship I attempted to make, including with my peers.  Forming healthy friendships was difficult, so it really impressed me and gave me hope that one day, I might meet someone from the adult world, willing to be my friend, just for the sake of being my friend.

I did. And we discussed politics and world events till we were both sick of it LOL. But we also discussed music and art, and she was a great teacher who was instrumental to bringing me out of my shell. She encouraged my creative side, and she helped me feel less alone. Sometimes I think about that time in my life, and I am glad I had learned the lesson that friendships are sometimes spontaneous things, and sometimes they need time to build, but if you are willing to put yourself out there... Love Is All Around No Need To Fake It. The friendship I made with that teacher continued for years, and I was grateful for it. Always.

Thank you, Aunt Mary!

Side Note... 
The little drawing on my sidebar, is of the poster hanging in Mary's Richard's apartment in seasons 2 through 6.
 ( "Why" By Ben Shahn )

Mood: Quiet


Wednesday, January 25, 2017

It's 3 Minutes Till Midnight... For Now

"Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. We know more about war than we know about peace, more about killing than we know about living. We have grasped the mystery of the atom and rejected the Sermon on the mount."

~General Omar Nelson Bradley

According To The Doomsday Clock
 it is 3 Minutes To Midnight

It's Trump's America. He was sworn in just five days ago, and he has lied, pouted, stood in front of a wall of stars that represented the fallen CIA agents that given their lives for America to remain a free country, only to whine and complain about how shitty his life is. How he would have won the popular vote, had their not been wide spread voter fraud. A lie. How when he took the oath of office their must have been 1.5 million people on the national mall observing his historical moment. Also a lie. Actual estimates put it at somewhere around 250,000. 

We have been lied to about this trivial event, and told that Trump believes in his own "alternate facts." All because he felt threated by the amazing turnout the Women's March had, which was estimated at 3 million world wide. He has shut down the phone number at the White House where you can call to voice your opinions and complaints about the nation you live in. He has suspended the Twitter accounts of the National Park service, because the have tweeted out accurate estimates of the effects of climate change. 

Trump is sick, and he is getting sicker every single day.

He seems to see people who aren't there.

And he carries with him, as all presidents do, the nuclear codes.

What happens when he begins to hear voices that aren't there?

He needs no authorization.

He just needs the right slight and he will press the button.

And the world will end.

I don't really sleep anymore...

As of January 27th, 2017, the Doomsday Clock is 2 minutes and 30 seconds till midnight! 

Mood: Scared


Sunday, January 22, 2017

All Over The World... The Women's March 1/21/17

"A man you can bait with a tweet, 
is not a man you can trust with nuclear weapons."

~Hillary Clinton

Following is an unedited transcript of the tape in which Donald J. Trumprepeatedly made vulgar comments about women. Mr. Trump was filmed talking to the television personality Billy Bush of “Access Hollywood” on the set of “Days of Our Lives,” where Mr. Trump was making a cameo appearance. They are later joined by the actress Arianne Zucker. The transcription is by Penn Bullock of The New York Times.

January 21st, 2017 will be remembered as the day women all over the world stood up, and fought back, because...

Women's Rights Are Human Rights!

Donald J. Trump: You know and ...
Unknown: She used to be great. She’s still very beautiful.
Trump: I moved on her, actually. You know, she was down on Palm Beach. I moved on her, and I failed. I’ll admit it.
Unknown: Whoa.
Trump: I did try and fuck her. She was married.
Unknown: That’s huge news.
Trump: No, no, Nancy. No, this was [unintelligible] — and I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping.
She wanted to get some furniture. I said, “I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture.” I took her out furniture —
I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look.
Billy Bush: Sheesh, your girl’s hot as shit. In the purple.
Trump: Whoa! Whoa!
Bush: Yes! The Donald has scored. Whoa, my man!
Trump: Look at you, you are a pussy.
Trump: All right, you and I will walk out.
Trump: Maybe it’s a different one.
Bush: It better not be the publicist. No, it’s, it’s her, it’s —
Trump: Yeah, that’s her. With the gold. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.
Bush: Whatever you want.
Trump: Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.
Bush: Uh, yeah, those legs, all I can see is the legs.
Trump: Oh, it looks good.
Bush: Come on shorty.
Trump: Ooh, nice legs, huh?
Bush: Oof, get out of the way, honey. Oh, that’s good legs. Go ahead.
Trump: It’s always good if you don’t fall out of the bus. Like Ford, Gerald Ford, remember?
Bush: Down below, pull the handle.
Trump: Hello, how are you? Hi!
Arianne Zucker: Hi, Mr. Trump. How are you? Pleasure to meet you.
Trump: Nice seeing you. Terrific, terrific. You know Billy Bush?
Bush: Hello, nice to see you. How you doing, Arianne?
Zucker: Doing very well, thank you. Are you ready to be a soap star?
Trump: We’re ready, let’s go. Make me a soap star.
Bush: How about a little hug for the Donald? He just got off the bus.
Zucker: Would you like a little hug, darling?
Trump: O.K., absolutely. Melania said this was O.K.
Bush: How about a little hug for the Bushy? I just got off the bus.
Zucker: Bushy, Bushy.
Bush: Here we go. Excellent. Well, you’ve got a nice co-star here.
Zucker: Yes, absolutely.
Trump: Good. After you.
[Break in video]
Trump: Come on, Billy, don’t be shy.
Bush: Soon as a beautiful woman shows up, he just, he takes off. This always happens.
Trump: Get over here, Billy.
Zucker: I’m sorry, come here.
Bush: Let the little guy in here, come on.
Zucker: Yeah, let the little guy in. How you feel now? Better? I should actually be in the middle.
Bush: It’s hard to walk next to a guy like this.
Zucker: Here, wait, hold on.
Bush: Yeah, you get in the middle, there we go.
Trump: Good, that’s better.
Zucker: This is much better. This is —
Trump: That’s better.
Zucker: [Sighs]
Bush: Now, if you had to choose honestly between one of us. Me or the Donald?
Trump: I don’t know, that’s tough competition.
Zucker: That’s some pressure right there.
Bush: Seriously, if you had — if you had to take one of us as a date.
Zucker: I have to take the Fifth on that one.
Bush: Really?
Zucker: Yup — I’ll take both.
Trump: Which way?
Zucker: Make a right. Here we go. [inaudible]
Bush: Here he goes. I’m gonna leave you here.
Trump: O.K.
Bush: Give me my microphone.
Trump: O.K. Oh, you’re finished?
Bush: You’re my man, yeah.
Trump: Oh, good.
Bush: I’m gonna go do our show.
Zucker: Oh, you wanna reset? O.K.
Mood: Happy/Inspired/Encouraged

~Me :)

Friday, January 20, 2017

January 20th, 2017

"There is but one just use of power,
 and it is to serve the people."

~George H. W. Bush

It's here. A day I have been pretending doesn't exist, and therefore wouldn't happen. But it does exist, and it will happen. At noon ET Donald John Trump will become the 45th President Of The United States. What was a nightmare over the summer, has become a frightening reality. I am frankly scared to death, but face it we will, and I and many others won't give up on our principals and core belief values. Never. Ever. So, while it's an uphill climb, we never bend to hatred. We will never bend to fear. And we will never, ever, bow down before Trump! We will remember the words of president's past to keep us inspired to move forward. Today is more than the inauguration of a madman, it's a countdown to the end of his presidency. 2020 isn't that far away! Unless it comes sooner, by his own misdeeds! Either way, we still have plenty to look forward 

 "It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession,
 I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."

~Ronald Reagan

"We all do better when we work together. Our differences do matter,
 but our common humanity matters more."

~Bill Clinton

"You could see blood coming out of her eyes,
 blood coming out of her... whatever."

~Donald John Trump
45th President Of The United States
Speaking about Megyn Kelly
During and interview in August of 2015

My thoughts are not with Trump today, my thoughts today are for the speedy recovery of President George H. W. Bush and his wife, Barbara Bush. Two folks I strongly disagreed with politically, but two people I never doubted loved this nation!

 True American patriots!

 Mood: Quiet


Thursday, January 19, 2017

Being Human

"Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten."

~Neil Gaiman

If it's Thursday, that means this is the last full day things in the world will make sense, at least as much sense as it has up until now. 24 hours from now Barack Obama will leave office, and Donald Trump will be sworn in as the 45th President Of The United States, and any semblance to normality will completely change. Forever. I haven't decided yet whether I will just sleep all day, or get drunk by noon and stay that way, or if I will just drift off into what I think of as the abyss, the allowing my brain the complete and total shutdown of the following of any news, politics, science or the research about any of the things I feel/felt that mattered. In other words... completely giving up.

My world isn't just about politics and news of the day. I love reading about fashion. I love music, so much so, that Alan routinely complains about the volume of noise coming from my office. I like to read too. Biographies. The plays of Neil Simon. Anything by Alice Hoffman, Mary Higgins Clark and Susan Issacs. Reading has brought me a great deal of happiness and peace. I fell in love with it as a small child, and at one time I considered writing, or perhaps journalism, but it wasn't to be. As disappointed as I was, I still had reading as a hobby, and I have ran to it many times when either the world got too loud and stupid, or my own head noise was too loud and stupid.

I am back there right now, and both the world and my own head is nothing but stupid noise. We are about to cross into some dark territory, and there is nothing we can do to stop it. Some supporters of Trump are already having regrets about voting for him, and as funny as that can be, it is also frustrating and infuriating. To be able to say, "I told you so" is really of little help... no, actually, it doesn't help at all. Trump is the 45th President Of The United States, and it's horrible. It's frightening. It's wrong. And... IT'S REAL. Sure, history will put a little (  *  ) next to his name because of Putin's involvement, but by the time his administration is over, will it matter? Will we even still be a nation by that time?

I don't know. 

So, because I have NO idea what comes next, I have decided to adjust my thinking as a way of caring for my frayed nerves, at least for this weekend. I am going to turn the noise off, and curl up with a book this weekend, and when I do it will be with this old book/friend, Making Minty Malone, by Isabel Wolff. Minty is a little bit Bridget Jones, and a little bit Carrie Bradshaw and a little bit of a every girl, everywhere.

I don't want to give too much away, but it's a fun lighthearted read, that frankly I couldn't put down the first time I read it, which, by the way, was back in 2000! I love Minty, and her misadventures. She is written as very human, and who can't identify with that? Being human is something I know about very well, pitfalls, missteps and embarrassing moments and all. I was very pleased to find a hardcover edition on Amazon last week, and it was only .99 cents + shipping! 

It's healthy to turn off the noise from time to time.


I think I will be doing a lot of reading in the near future, but one sure bet... I won't be reading the Art Of The Deal anytime soon. 

Mood: Contemplative