Friday, March 27, 2015

We v They

"Only one valid law: never belittle others, never belittle yourself."

~Marty Rubin

Yesterday, I needed to take a little trip down to Oakland, to the County Assessor's office to look up the property description for the apartment... um... illegal apartment I am living in. What I found pretty much confirmed things, my apartment unit does not appear in the official legal description of the property! So, it seems that my little cottage will indeed be torn down sometime in the not too distant future. But I found out an additional piece of information, the two units next door to me on the property also don't exist, so that means that this mess is going to displace at least 3 of our neighbors, and possibly more, because now there is some fear that some recent renovations done on yet another unit, the duplex in the front of the property, may have been done illegally as well! It's beginning to seem more and more like the entire property is pretty much going to have to be torn down to the dirt.  Soon it will be a LARGE empty lot, in the middle of the hills. Lonely, and lifeless except for the gopher that loves to dig around in my yard in the back of my cottage. I am going to miss Murray.

So, while this whole thing is pretty awful, and really sad, and completely scary, it's also pretty damn insulting! The property management sent us a notice to vacate in 30 days, which is also illegal. I have lived her 14 years, under the law I am entitled to 60 days notice. Any property management that can read and chew gum at the same time, should be able to look that up on the Internet... or do they think I am stupid? Yeah, I think they probably do, but I am not. I have contacted an attorney, who is reassuring me that we will get through this, and we might even be able to recoup some of our losses and moving expenses. All I want is what I am legally entitled to. Since living here we have paid over $100,00 in rent, on an apartment that was never legal. And now, because of the sudden expulsion from my home, I have been put in a situation where I may have to face giving up my cats. I don't know what is going to happen in the next 2 months, I am just holding on, and taking it like Kimmy Schmidt does, in 10 second increments.

Mood: Hanging In There

~Me :)

Wednesday, March 25, 2015


"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over analyzing
 a situation' trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... 
or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on."

~Tupac Shakur

Okay, well, FUCK! Last night I found a note taped to my front door, or I should say, taped to the front door of a cottage I have been renting for 14 years, giving me 30 days to GET OUT. Why am I being evicted? Because, as it turns out, this cottage has been an illegal apartment since 1965. No permits, no verified inspection certificate, just a "cute, cozy" illegal dwelling! End of story! So, I have been paying for 14 years, and making minor repairs, and treating this place like I owned it, only to be kicked out of it, with 30 days to find not only a place we can afford... in Alameda County... but a place that will allow my three cat children. 

My family. My babies. 

In two months the owner of my cottage will be tearing my my cottage down, as if it never was. As if all the memories we made here... never were... God... like it never fucking existed. It will be like I never put up pretty blue curtains, or painted the walls cornflower blue. My kitchen was painted apricot, or was it? And my bathroom soft lettuce green. Elvis spent his last day in my arms here, and I spent so many afternoons listening to the distant Ethereal Musician playing his saxophone I can't even count them. I lived here when 9/11 happened. On that day there wasn't a single sound anywhere in the neighborhood, except my distant Ethereal Musician playing that tune on that lovely saxophone... 
the tune was... America. And just hearing it, made me feel, safer somehow.

The most frightening thing of all, is having to get rid of my babies.

I can't survive that. I won't survive that.

Later today I am contacting a lawyer, to see what my legal options are. 

After that... we'll see.

Right now, 3:15 AM Pacific Time, all I can do is cry.

Mood: Devastated

~Me :)

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Foggy Thoughts

"At night the fog was thick and full of light, and sometimes voices."

~Erin Bow
Plain Kate

It's been rainy in the Bay Area again. It isn't going to last long, but while it's here I find it hard to think because I am sure that there is something scary just beyond the fog draped trees. Is it scary like speaking in public? Or is it scary like Donald Trump becoming president one day? Who knows? But one thing is for sure, Dylan McDermott, carrying a box of chocolate, never comes walking out of fog... at least not in the horror stories I imagine! I really do need to change my way of thinking! 


Mood: Foggy

~Me :)

Monday, March 23, 2015

A Face In The Crowd: San Francisco Tree Remarking On The Chill In The Air

"In his face, there came to be a brooding peace that is seen most often
 in the faces of the very sorrowful or the very wise.
 But still he wandered through the streets of the town, always silent and alone."

~Carson McCullers
The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter

I kind of remember taking this photo. It was on one of the many days Alan and I spent in San Francisco last October. I think it was late in the day, on the same day, we went to Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum. We had so many wonderful days together, it seems like they have all ran together. It's a pretty cool face... isn't it? It was a windy autumn day, and to me, it looked like the tree was making a statement regarding the chill in the air. At least it seemed that way to me. Maybe it was just a tree.

Mood: Happiness

~Me :)

Sunday, March 22, 2015


Spring passes and one remembers one's innocence.
Summer passes and one remembers one's exuberance.
Autumn passes and one remembers one's reverence.
Winter passes and one remembers one's perseverance.

~Yoko Ono

It's such a pretty leaf. I know it's more dumb luck, than sweet magic that I found my camera, but there is something so amazingly wonderful about finding it in spring. 

I have autumn leaves in spring!

I am half way to October!

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Spring Will Resume Shortly...

"I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields
 that it kisses them so gently?And then it covers them up snug,
 you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says
 "Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again."

~Lewis Carroll
Alice's Adventures In Wonderland & Through The Looking-Glass

For today, and tomorrow, I want to step back into Autumn once again, because there were some lovely photos on my found Nikon camera, and it would be a shame to just stick them in the archives.

Bear with me please, while obsess on autumn just a little!

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

Friday, March 20, 2015

And Spring Went BOING...

"Behold, my friends, the spring is come; 
the earth has gladly received the embraces of the sun, and we shall soon see the results of their love!"

~Sitting Bull
Nikon CoolPix S3500

Well, appropriately for the last day of winter, a little light and color was added to my world. Yesterday afternoon, Alan found my pink Nikon CoolPix S3600 that went missing last autumn! I had only owned it a couple months, when I thought I had lost it forever, a sad occurrence if ever there was one! And I pretty much hung a puss for most of November and December over it, but my loving husband Alan, got me a new one, right around Christmas. It was one of my early gifts. I chose a Nikon CoolPix S3500, this time in purple. While I haven't gotten out very much in the time I have had it, from what I have seen of it's capabilities, it can hold it's own to the original Nikon. So now, with the new old camera back in my life I am very camera prolific! It was quite kind of winter to leave me with a special bit of sun... my gorgeous, girly Nikon CoolPix S3600 in pink. 

A pink camera, and a purple camera, perfect for photographing flowers!

 NIKON S3600
 in Pink

October 24th 2014
Nikon CoolPix S3600
And Welcome To Spring!

Mood: Happy/Silly

~Me :)

Thursday, March 19, 2015

The Guilts

"Calvin: There is no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it worse."

~Bill Watterson
The Complete Calvin And Hobbes

Don't they look like a guilty lot? It's a Peeps line-up, and I am thinking the one on the end did it!

What did it do? You ask...

It seduced me into buying a big box of the delicious marshmallowy chickens... and eating them all!

Party Cake Flavored Peeps... who could pass that up?

And yes, I feel mighty GUILTY... and HAPPY.

Easter shopping season comes but once a year you know.

Mood: Silly

~Me :)

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

More So Than Snot

"It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want... oh... you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so bad!"

~Mark Twain

More So Than Not!

I'm still sneezing... because it's more spring than winter now... and it will be officially soon. 

I'm still sneezing, like it's a hobby or something. 

I'm still sneezing, and making Chocolate Peanut Rice Krispies Treats. 

I'm still sneezing, and realizing sneezing and Rice Krispie Treats have nothing in common.

I'm still sneezing, and watching The Jinx on HBO. I think he did it.

I'm still sneezing and petting my cat Dylan.

I'm still sneezing, and realizing... cats don't like it when you sneeze on them.

I'm still sneezing, and wishing I wasn't.

But it's all good!

Mood: Happy

~Me :)


Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Happy St. Patrick's Day

When after the winter alarmin',
The spring steps in so charmin',
So fresh and arch
In the middle of March,
With her had St. Patrick's arm on

~Alfred Percival Graves

May the Irish hills caress you.
May her lakes and rivers bless you.
May the luck of the Irish enfold you.
May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.

~Irish Blessing

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Mood: Festive

~Me :)

Monday, March 16, 2015

Simulation Of Life

"I want to roll my eyes, but my doctor said if I keep doing it,
 my ocular muscles might spasam and eject my eyeballs."

~Liz Lemon (Tina Fey)
30 Rock, "TGS Hates Women"

Mad Fits Of Eyeball Rolling

It's Monday... and tomorrow is Tuesday! Tuesday is St. Patrick's Day! But if you enjoy that holiday as much as I do, you already know that! You have  5 pounds of potatoes, 16 ounces of shallots, 1 large head of green cabbage, 1 large head of purple cabbage, and, of course, a large corned beef brisket, just waiting to be turned into something delicious! Well, I have NONE of those things, but I will have them by later today. St. Patrick's Day is one of those holidays we never miss! One year, when Alan was in upstate New York visiting his parents for their anniversary, I was home alone, it was just me and our tuxedo cat Elvis. But I still made that corned beef dinner, and set a place for my kitty, and enjoyed the hell out of my own company... and the wonderful quiet. You know the quiet... the quiet that reminds you of what life was like when you were out on your own for the first time, and it was just you, and the sounds of other people, in different apartments around you, making living in apartment noises. I smiled in that moment, and then began missing Alan, deeply, painfully. I also rolled my eyes, because there just seemed to be no way to please me! LOL. I do a lot of eye rolling!

 Goin' To A Snowbilly Circus...

In other news, did you hear, Bristol Palin is getting married! Good for her... and he... I guess. Oh, don't misunderstand, I am happy for the young lady, happy I tell's ya, but when I read her quote about her good news, I kinda had to tilt my head... and wonder. Bristol met her fella when he visited Alaska to film an episode of  her mother's show, Amazing America, and of her new fiance she said... "He met Tripp during that time, and I've seen him in a few places where our paths have crossed since. He's visited us in Alaska, and I've visited his wonderful family in Kentucky," she wrote. "He's wonderful with Tripp and I'm so proud to be marrying him." Good for her and all, but that kinda sounds like she barely knows him, let alone be ready to spend the rest of her life with him. I don't know... what do you think? Am I being nit-picky? I mean ultimately, I couldn't possibly care less about her upcoming nuptials, but one does have to wonder if she will wear a thong wedding dress, like the thong camouflage dress she wore to the Hillbilly-Beatdown-Birthday-Shindig-Brawl last September. Hey, it's a look!

 I'm Bringing Stupid Back

I got all my tests results back from last week's visit to the lab. Blood... Good. Blood Glucose... Passable. Liver... perfect. Kidneys... wait a minute. Sigh. It seems I am in early stages of kidney disease. My numbers were above where they are supposed to be, but not dangerously so, it's a matter of taking my blood pressure pills on time, being a little more diligent with checking the blood glucose, and getting my blood drawn again in a few months. Sheesh! Who knew high blood pressure had anything to your kidneys? Well, I didn't, but I come from a long line of high strung political junkies, who take things way too seriously, like whether or not Bristol Palin will wear a thong wedding dress! I have decided to ignore that one, and concentrate on whether the invitations will be bought at Walmart. Call me a hopeless romantic, but one should NEVER buy wedding invitations at a place that also sells bullets! Am I right?

Uggg... there I go again... (Eyeball Rolling). Good Luck You Guys!

Mood: Curious

~Me :)

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Lemon Meringue Pi

"We must have a pie, stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."

~David Mamet
Boston Marriage

Lemon Meringue Pie

Yesterday, Saturday, was Pi day in the universe, so Alan and I decided to grab a couple slices. He chose his favorite, cherry, but I was having a difficult time deciding between Peach and Lemon Meringue. In the end, I chose the Lemon Meringue because it had been a VERY warm winter day, and Lemon Meringue just seemed to be a perfect choice. It's winter in the Bay Area, and Alan and I are planning on putting the air-conditioner back in the window on Monday. I don't know about you, but that's kinda spooky... don't you think? But I am not stressing about it right now, I have pie.


Mood: Happy

~Me :)

Saturday, March 14, 2015

My Salvador Dali Cat

"Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so affravating, 
but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar they use."

~Mark Twain

Joey never just sits, he kinda melts into the bed, or a chair or a box. He sits very flat, and they drapes his long legs over the side, resting his head down, like you see here. Like he was just painted by Salvadore Dali. He has many silly little quirks, but this one might just be my favorite. I love my boy!

"I believe cats to be spirits come to earth.
 A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through."

~Jules Verne

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

Friday, March 13, 2015

The Peace Lantern

"Peace Lantern"
Japanese Tea Garden
Golden Gate Park, San Francisco

"This 9,000 pound bronze lantern was purchased with contributions from
school children of Japan as a symbol of friendship to the United States.
Yasusuke Katsuno, the Japanese Consul General, formally presented the
Peace Lantern on January 8th, 1953. The gift was a commemoration of the 
US Japanese peace treaty signed in San Francisco in 1951."

~Inscription In The Peace Lantern Plaque 

 Diplomacy As An Abstract Thought

"An eye for an eye will only make the world blind."

~Mahatma Gandhi

Monday, September 10th, 2001, was a very good day. Except for the six weeks or so, immediately following September 11th, when I noticed people saying please and thank you more often. People not only stopped cutting others off in traffic, but would safely pause to let folks in front of them! I remember more smiles and eye contact, and little courtesies like folks helping me get the bread down from the top shelf at the store. A small gesture for them, sometimes the world for me. America was one, and the world understood our grief, and shared our sorrow. But I suppose all the good will wasn't sustainable. Little by little, not only did the selfish and greedy return to their ways, the previously content among us, found an inner bitterness that perhaps they never knew existed. In the last 15 years, incidents of road rage has increased, and now there is an official term for the mean folks that yell at us on social media for having a different opinion then their own, it's called Internet Rage.

I don't know about you, but I need to get off the hate superhighway at the end of the day if I can. I need to turn off the social media, unplug from the 24 hour news cycle, and pretend Sarah Palin, and her hateful buddies are really just living in a fucked up snow globe owned by some grouchy kid somewhere. Yeah, I didn't seem very peaceful just then, did I? Well, this week, especially I guess, I am not. I could give you a list of what's bothering me, but if you know me at all, you probably already know most of it. Frustration over politics. Injustice in Ferguson, Missouri. Fear of international terrorism. You get it, it's probably the same things bothering you. I am really bothered and things only seem to be getting worse, and the most frustrating part is... they don't have to. I am watching America throw away it's common sense, and it breaks my heart. Some days I feel like saying FUCK IT THEN, JUST GO AHEAD AND PRESS THE FUCKING BUTTON ALREADY. But then, invariably, I will have someone come at me on social media, loaded for bear, asking me how I can feel the way I do about something? To which, all I can do is thoughtfully explain my explanation and my position. 

Sometimes that's all that's needed. The "Internet Trolls" reveal themselves to just be folks as frustrated as I am, looking for answers. It's hard in the moment to not want to strike back, but a compassionate answer to someone who is lost, really does work. I wish the GOP understood diplomacy is not an abstract notion, it's a tried and true method that when used in a genuine method, can yield great peace. I don't think ISIS would have any of it, but then you have to remember where their barbaric regime began... the years following an illegal, unnecessary war in Iraq, and the destabilization of the middle east. Hatred for a handful terrorists, and our own politicians who LET our lives change on 9/11 and since. America is so different now, then when I was a child. I never, ever, thought in my fifties I would be sitting up, late at night, worried about the things I worry about. Hell, when I was a child, a republican president, through diplomacy, opened us up to relations with China, and we were safer for it. When did diplomacy, as a mean to protect the United States, both on the world stage, and right here on our own soil, become a tool to be mocked? 

Mood: Frustrated

~Me :)


Thursday, March 12, 2015

Ellipsis Misses: Volume 1 Episode 2

"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity."

~Edgar Allen Poe

Thursday, March 12th, 2015

Alarm Sounds At
7:30 AM

Dr. Shrink
 10:15 AM

Lab Tech Dracula
 11:30 A.M.

Lunch Made Of Chocolate
12:00 PM

Hour Of Pout
1:00 PM

All Better
2:00 PM

Mood: I'm OKAY, You're OKAY

~Me :)