Driving Is The Only Way To Fly

"Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men."

~Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice And Accurate Prophecies Of Agnes Nutter, Witch

There are times when I dearly wish I was a witch! Not a mean, green witch with a wort on my nose, who dines on children, but a witch in the tradition of Samantha Stephens. A good witch! A witch who used her powers for the good of humanity, but who also wasn't above showing a man or two a few things about how a woman should be respected! She knew the perfect balance of things, Samantha understood that human's weren't a lower life form, merely a different life form than she was, funny how some "human" men, even in 2014, can't wrap their consciousness around that concept!

You see...

A couple weeks ago, after years of staunch debate in our house, Alan and I finally came to an understanding that we needed to unload the 2007 Saturn ION Deathtrap that we owned. We had sold our other one a 1 1/2 ago after that car came to a sudden and devastating vehicle death by stroke... or maybe it was automotive Alzheimer's... I am not quite sure what to say, but I am pretty sure it was all due to the fact that it pretty much stopped working properly 3 days after the warranty ended! Hand to God... no joke! 3 days after the warranty expired, the car stopped working and it was repair bill, after repair bill after that!

Anyway, because Alan thought it would be nice to not have 2 car payments to make for a while, he decided he didn't want to replace both cars at the same time. A decision I have been vehemently against, because of all the reading I had done about problems with the 2007 Saturn ION's. But it was his decision to make. We traded the one car in, and he gave me the new car to drive. He continued to drive his car, which made me completely insane with worry, but we don't railroad each other. I learned to live with his decision.

Fast Forward to... ahem... April's Fool's Day of this year, and the quick decision was made to get rid of the Saturn, pretty much with the third or fourth word out of the mouth of the new C.E.O. of General Motors, Mary Berra. Finally, Alan got it... the cars are dangerous! They had been lemons since we bought them. So, with the new enlightenment, came the decision to purchase another Chevrolet Spark. We have been quite happy... so far... with our Spark, it's in our price range, it gets great gas mileage, and has plenty of room for us and our daily needs. So, it was off to the dealership.


R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

When we walked onto the dealership lot, and were greeted by a car salesman named "Karl." Not his real name. We conveyed our needs in a new car and asked to see a 2013 model. They had one. It had what I wanted, and it was a 2LT. Check. It was "Priced to move" because it was a 2013 model. Tip: You get a good price for buying a model from the previous year. Yes, it's last year's model, but it is still a new car, plus you have a whole year to see what the car is like once it has been broken in! Always check cars out through Edmond's, or Car and Driver... HELL any car rating site, but don't stop there, read the forums and see what problems are being reported by current drivers of the model you want! Another plus... when you go to sell it, it will have a year less in mileage than might be expected!

Anyway, I did the deal, and got what I wanted. I was offered $3,000.00 I said NO! I wanted $3,700.00 or $3,500 at the very least. DEAL. The dealership said I could only count on a $500.00 Chevy incentive, I said, "Oh really?" One hour later, it was a $1,000 incentive! The Saturn ION was listed in Kelly Blue Book with a value of $4,000 top value... the car was not in top value... so I was expecting $1,500.00 especially given the fact that the congressional hearings were airing, which pretty much told the world the cars were a dangerous pain in the ass, if driven with the key on a FOB.

SHIT.

Anyway, I did the deal. Alan and I were happy with how things went. I looked the dealer in the eye and told him I was going to be the driver. I am the one the car's name is in as the primary driver and it is registered as such. I am the one who found the scratch on the dashboard, and endured the skeezy salesman asking me if ..."a free tank of gas would make things right?" A free tank of GAS? "How fucking much do you charge for gas?" I asked the skeezy salesman! I was then offered free "Butler Service" for one year? Or maybe I would like some nice, clean oil changes? NO... skeezy salesman... "you are going to replace the dashboard. It's a brand new car. I deserve to have a brand new car without a scratch on the dashboard... make it right."

And they did... eventually. It took 10 days for the new dashboard to come in. And come in it did... with 4 scratches on it, deeper and longer than the scratch that was on mine! I was told it would be another 3-5 days, and that they would request the order be expedited. 5 days turned into 9 days... and finally my car was finished, and ready for pick-up. It looked great. Good! Now I never had to see that dealership again. Fine. Good. Whatever. But yesterday, I got, or rather Alan got, a card in the mail, addressed to him, THANKING HIM FOR DOING BUSINESS WITH THE GOOD FOLKS AT CHEVY!

It was like I was never there.

I didn't do the deal.

I didn't demand that the dashboard be made right.

I didn't sign the loan or registration papers.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. The salesman did, after all, make his very first question to me "Which color are you interested in?"

I had to nearly bite my lip in two not to respond... the red... I hear they get better gas mileage! Or maybe the blue... I hear they are especially chill!

Sexism is a theme at that particular dealership, if you read YELP you will see it's true. What a shame in 2014 some men still woefully underestimate women on a daily basis, and how embarrassing for the male sex as a whole! The whole sexist attitude is just embarrassing and sad. Yes, that's it. I wasn't sad for me yesterday, I was sad for the salesman who sent the Thank You card, because clearly he is lacking in SELF RESPECT.

The Mad Men Effect: What's The Deal With Other-Era Sexism?
 (Forbes) 3/24/2012

Mood: Disappointed

~Me :(

Samantha's Driving Lesson 
Bewitched 
Season 1. Episode 26.
1965

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That!

"Humor is a very serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost."

-James Thurber

Well, humor has taken quite a beating this week... hasn't it? The whole mess with Don Imus, and those ill advised "humorous" remarks he made have caused quite a stir. It has brought about a national debate about race relations, sexism, and what constitutes "poetic license," in America. What weight do our words carry? Does it matter if we speak them or sing them? Is it acceptable for a certain race to utter raciest and demeaning words, if it is referring to their own race? Where are the lines drawn?I have been thinking about all the dynamics of the situation with Imus, and I have to say, in that particular case, I keep going back to one of my favorite quotes...

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

-Eleanore Roosevelt

I am a Woman, a Democrat, a Liberal, a Christian, and a Housewife. I am Short, Caucasian, and I have big BOOBS. All things which are the subject of humor from time to time. Is it insensitive? Yes. Does it hurt my feelings? Not too often. Sometimes, something will be said that will strike a cord in me, and I will feel sad, mostly because it can be frustrating to feel like I am being defined by whatever stereotype that is being flung at me. On the other hand, I have seen the humor in every one of the above examples of what describes me, because I can see the truth in the joke. There has to be some truth in most humor, to make a joke truly funny. All those things on their own, do not define me. I am also creative, intelligent, funny, caring, sarcastic, and Jewish.

LOL. I am Jewish. I found out that little bit of information when I was 36. That was quite a day. Seems that my mother, who had suffered from mental illness her whole life, decided not to share with me or my siblings that little fact. Sigh. I laughed that day, at how funny life can be sometimes, and I cried a bit about how sad life can be sometimes. Life is both. In almost every situation, we have both comedy and tragedy. That's Life. Life, on it's own, will never change people who are consumed with hate. It will never change the sexist man or woman, who refuse to consider the other human in the dynamic. It will never stop someone from remarking on our personal appearance, if they feel we don't fall into a perfect mold of perfection, at least by their standards. So, what's a human to do?

Well, to begin with, we need to stop wasting time allowing ourselves to be victims. There's a reason I didn't listen to Don Imus very often, I simply didn't care to listen or watch him when he aired. Others offend me on a regular basis. Bill O'Reilly for example. He does a "serious" news show. He, in my opinion, is mean spirited and nasty. He has said things I believe could be interpreted as treasonous. I wouldn't mind seeing him kicked off the air, but I have to admit, it's because I am tired of his big mouth, not because I feel he doesn't have a right to say whatever stupid thing he wants, unless of course, it is truly treasonous, which apparently is in the eye of the beholder, a lot like humor is.

I think Don Imus should have apologized to the Rutger's Women's Basketball team, because what he said was hurtful, especially considering their vast accomplishments, but it should have been left between those ladies and Imus. Al Sharpton had no place getting involved. Those ladies didn't need a champion to act for them, they are strong enough to stand up and say... "No Mr. Imus... we want an apology, you went too far!" I think they showed a great deal of courage and grace to accept his apology... I can't say the same for Rev. Sharpton. To ask for an apology, then refuse to accept it, is a slap in the face to God. It is a fundamental responsibility as a Christian to forgive. As a human, it is the first step in healing, after we have been hurt by another. I can tell you from deep personal experience, true healing begins, when you allow forgiveness to take place. It took a lot of character on Imus's part to admit he was wrong, and offer an apology in earnest. He was sorry... and he meant it. How often will someone admit they were wrong, let along say, "I'm sorry."

I was the victim of a crime a few years ago. Everything changed for me overnight. I was sad, scared, and as a result of my experience, I climbed inside myself and closed off the world. I hurt so bad, I stopped feeling all together. I wished Elvis would run away, because I couldn't bring myself to care whether he was here or not. I pushed Alan away, I pushed my friends away. I stopped leaving my own house, because I was so afraid that I might be hurt again. I made myself a victim. Any time we allow the actions of another, to change how we feel about ourselves, or diminish our plans for a happy and fulfilled life, we become victims. If I were to advise the Rutger's girls, I would tell them that, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Stand up for yourselves, ask for an apology and then move on with your life, safe in your own knowledge of your own self worth.

My humor runs the gambit. I find a lot of different things funny. I make some folks who visit me here on Ellipsis laugh, and I have gotten emails from some who have been offended by me. What can I do? Some times I have put myself in the other persons shoes and try to see why, or how they were offended. Sometimes I have gotten my feelings hurt, after all, I am not out to hurt anyone when I attempt humor, but in actuality, I have no control over how my words will be interpreted. Humor, beauty, politics, hatred, and life are in the eye of the beholder, we have the right to tune out what offends us, but who do we want in charge of our thoughts? Who has the right to tell us what's funny or not? Who has the right to tell us what to feel and when to feel it? And who dictates what defines us individually? I don't think we Americans are playing the "race" card or the "sexist" card as much as we are playing the "victim," card.

***On a lighter note, there is a new poll on my sidebar. Go take it. It is a simple poll about which comedian makes us laugh the most. :) For the results of last months poll, "Who Had The Best Hair Style Ever" click here.

-OndineMonet