'
"Autumn is the time of year when Mother Nature says,
"Look how easy, how healthy,
and how beautiful letting go can be.'"
~Toni Sorenson
I have the hardest time letting go! Letting go of places I have lived, pets and friends when they have passed on, ideas that never quite came to fruition, even restaurants that I have loved, that have eventually closed, and TV shows that get cancelled! You name it, I don't like to let go of it! Every single year, I have the same melancholy feeling from the day after Halloween, that stays with me until at least a couple months into winter! I go out and continue to look for leaves, until I photograph the very last one I find, because knowing it is the last one, makes it all the more lovely, even if it's less than perfect!
Obsession much? Perhaps, but it does something else for me, it gives me time outside with the camera, and it keeps me focused on life away from the things that scare me, like whatever the next scary thought our president has, that I have no control of! There is nothing I can do about his decisions. Nothing. So searching for leaves, gives me a nice respite from worrying. If I don't find autumn leaves in late December, it's okay, because I might find something completely unrelated to autumn, that will encourage or inspire me. So no worries!
I have depression. It's that simple, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Like I said a few posts back, it had been in remission for about 20 years, but it's back now, and it's been good for me to get out with the camera. I am going to do that as much as possible, but I wish autumn would hang on a little longer, because it brings some beauty to the sadness, and makes me a better photographer. I know when I accept that fact that autumn is gone for another year, I have done my best to capture it's beauty forever in my photos. All the life affirming beauty of autumn leaves, reminds me that there is an unmistakable beauty in letting go, and moving on.
The end of autumn, gives me a beautiful sadness,
but it's important keep moving forward.
#25 Leaf Of The Day
November 25th, 2017
Apple Hill, Camino, California
Mood: Quiet
~Me
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