Here's Your Fucking Christmas Card ( Rated R For Colorful Language )

"Money's scarce and times are hard

 so here's your fucking Christmas card."

~Phyllis Diller

Disclaimer: If colorful language gives you the vapors, move along, because there is enough in the post to... well... give you the vapors!

I wish I hadn't waited so long to come across that quote, because I swear I would have sent Trump as nice Christmas card, with just that quote written inside! Do I dare and Tweet it to him on Christmas Eve? Will the Twitter gods, kick me off Twitter for a third time? Can you believe it? I have been put in a Twitter corner twice, for being disrespectful to our DEAR LEADER. Honest to Gingerbread men, what the actual fuck? We have free speech in America, at least we did. Honestly, I don't know about that anymore. He routinely breaks their TOS, but no one else can. Sometimes it feels like Twitter is one of Trump's biggest enablers, and in a way, they are. He can't be kicked off their platform, because the president's tweets are newsworthy. I guess it will be newsworthy when he bombs the shit out of North Korea, provided there is anyone around to read about it on Twitter... if Twitter still exists.

But that wasn't what this post was going to be about. I was going to write about how much I enjoy sparkly Christmas ornaments, and how much I would like to be able to collect enough to fill the Christmas tree eventually, but once again, all I can think about is the horror that sits in the White House, and who insists there is a War on Christmas, which of course, there isn't! But the insane GOP Right in this country insist it does, and each year, into battle they go, and then they make a stop at Amazon.com, to purchase a Trump, MAGA/Made in China, piece of shit ornament! Because everyone knows that the three wise men brought the baby Jesus, gold, frankincense and myrrh, and an ornament from the Trump campaign store!

Sorry, as I said in my last post, I am not feeling the holiday spirit.

But I wish I was.

Tomorrow, when I wake up, I'm going to try again. Really I am.

#16 Leaf Of The Day

December 16th, 2017 

Berkeley, Ca

 Mood: GRRRR

~Me 

Dance Of Depression Plum Fairies

"THE HOLIDAYS ARE RUINED!

This book is one page long and just contains that one sentence."

~Amy Poehler

Okay, whether I like it or not, I have to face Christmas! But I am not in the mood... I am just not. It has been such an odd year, everything has seemed upside down, and it feels like every day might begin, but end before it naturally should. Trump can't stop running his mouth, North Korea has a missile pointed at us, and... .

I could give the long list about everything he does that scares the ever loving SHIT out of me, but why?

Bitching won't make my depression magically disappear. It won't make it 2016, on the night of the election, when Hillary Clinton won. It won't make any of it make any sense at all. Bitching, at most, will relieve a little bit of the tension, I feel in my mind and my body. Reality, is reality. Hey, at least the last few days have had some bright moments to them. Omarosa has been fired from her "job" as "White House Liaison for African American Outreach". That's been an amusing tale, and I am sure it was quite the political and holiday spectacle, but that's one Christmas party I am happy to have missed! Anyway, it made me smile, so there's that.

Over all, I'm tired, that's all, I am just really tired, but I am hanging in there, waiting for someone to ride in and save the country, like a shining knight saves the damsels at the end of most animated movies and children's books. I wished I really believed that would happen. Deep down. But every day there are rumors of Trump, firing the one person who could actually save us, Robert Mueller. If that happens, there would be an immediate Constitutional crisis, throwing us further into chaos, and making us even more vulnerable to hostile foreign nations. And then there are our other problems, which again, we don't have a lot of control over, but hopefully, some of this will be straightened out, when the clock strikes midnight and 2017 becomes, 2018. 

There are a couple more weeks left in 2017, and I am going to try to get through them, with a smile on my face, and a little bit of joy, here and there. We are putting up a few decorations later today, and tomorrow we plan on visiting the Christmas Carousel in Tilden Park, and then perhaps we will visit either San Francisco, or Sacramento, on Sunday, to see what kind of festive decorations they have going on there! I think that leaving the house, and jumping into some seasonal bliss my help the cloud I am in. We'll see. Wish me luck, okay? I am really going to try to put a happy face on all this, and who knows, maybe it will stick!

#15 Leaf Of The Day

December 15th 2017

Stockton, California

Mood: Tired

~Me

Tiny Dancing Diamonds

"I love autumn despite the drench weather. I think it symbolises the end of misery and the beginning of glee. It gives hopes that sooner or later, flowers will bloom again, green buds will sprout from trees, and that which is dead will come back alive."

~Aishah Madadiy

Bits of Heaven

Here is the last of the photos from my trip to the Haggin Museum and Victory Park. There were several water fountains in the park, but it was this one, just to the left of the entrance, that I enjoyed the most! The sun was shining down, almost directly over it, and the sky was so blue, that it just looked like diamonds dancing in the air. It was lovely. It was peaceful, and as I mentioned before, in a previous post, I could have stayed there all day! Bright sunny days are great for photographing fountains, but I have never photographed a fountain in the fog! 

Hopefully, I will be able to this winter! I really hope it will be a, cold and foggy, Christmas day, because who wants 70 degree weather for Christmas? I guess, a lot of people on the east coast do, and I guess I take California weather for granted sometimes, but just once I would really love to spend a Christmas, in a place with lots of snow. To me, that would be a bit of Heaven. Alan, the boys, and me, all cuddled up, with all the lights out except for the Christmas tree, watching the snow come down. Heaven on earth... definitely Heaven on Earth!

#14 Leaf Of The Day

December 14th, 2017

Stockton, California

Mood: Happy

 ~Me :)

Dark Leaf Collection

"Leaves grow old gracefully, bring such joy in their last lingering days. How vibrant and bright is their final flurry of life."

~Karen Gibbs

So, I've decided to try working with different textures as backgrounds, for my Leaf  Of The Day photos. Ordinarily I like to photograph them, exactly where they land, but, if necessary, I will sometimes position them in a different area. Working to find the most eye pleasing natural backgrounds, inspired me to try some fabric backgrounds to give them a more interesting appearance. I started out with a plain black background, because the leaves I picked last Sunday were so dark, and moody. Some leaves end the season with a big blast of color, others die quiet and solemn.

The leaves have seemed much darker this year, than in previous autumns. From the start in September, I noticed that almost everywhere I went, they had a distinctly darker color to them, and  some were almost completely black. It has been a nice surprise for me, because of the depression I have been fighting. The leaf colors have made me feel more comfortable, like they shared my mood, and understood! It has been nice. It has given me new ideas, like trying fabric backgrounds. Autumn ends, but my project continues until I find my last leaf. Sometimes I can still find some wonderful leaves, well into January, so I have a lot to work with, to help me process the way I think of things in my life, and it also helps me by inspiring with new approaches for my project next year. 

2017 Dark Leaf Collection

Hope You Enjoyed The Collection!

#13 Leaf Of The Day

December 13th, 2017

Stockton, California

 Mood: Inspired

~Me :)

Autumn And My Friend The Duck

"Rest your eyes well before September

 because with all it's colors autumn is coming to visit them!"

~Mehmet Murat ildan

Another look, at the time we spent in Victory Park last Sunday. The fountain to the left side of the museum, made an already stunning landscape, all the more charming, and the beautiful ducks that were alternating between swimming and sunning themselves, brought it all together, to make for the best autumn afternoons I have had all season! I wish I had that day back right now because, to be truthful, I could live in that day for the rest of my life, at least that's how I feel right now, but who wouldn't want to live in a warm day in autumn, filled with every color imaginable, a slight coolness to the air and delightful wildlife to share it with? 

My new duck friend looks pretty happy!

#12 Leaf Of The Day

December 12th 2017

Berkeley, California

Mood: Happy
~Me :)

The Haggin Museum And Victory Park

"Come said the wind to the leaves one day, 

Come o're the meadows and we will play.

Put on your dresses scarlet and gold

and the days grow cold."

~1880's Children's Song

For the first time since moving to Stockton, in 2015. I ventured out yesterday to see, and photograph the outside of the Haggin Museum! It sits in the middle of the GORGEOUS Victory Park, and too my delight, provided me with a lot to enjoy, and photograph! It is definitely one of my favorite places, now, because I need the amazing comfort it brought me! All the colors of the trees, kissing autumn goodbye, and amazing pond, with some very cooperative and photogenic ducks, and water fountains, and several folks walking adorable dogs, on leashes of course, all decked out in the finest holiday sweaters! Is the anything more fun then seeing a dog, rock a really great sweater? 

The sun was perfect, by the way, warm, but not summer oppressive, and not winter cold. It was one of those perfect autumn days! Alan and I sat on a bench, for about 45 minutes, just drinking it all in, then I walked around, and just lived in the moment, with my camera, preserving forever, a day I really needed! As beautiful as it was, I hope I will be able to see it again, through the lens of my camera, on a nice foggy day, before autumn is officially gone. Autumn trees take on a sad beauty, that helps me let go of the one season, I truly live for. The color of the remaining leaves, at the end of a year, gives me a strange kind of hope for the year yet to come, even with it's uncertainty!

Years can take some odd twists and turns, but I can get through it by focusing on the last season of the year, and my hopes for the next new start! I will be visiting the Haggin Museum and Victory Park again, hopefully in December, but maybe when January rolls around I will venture in to see the variety of exhibits! It has quite an eclectic collection of art, exhibitions, and it even touches a bit on the history of Stockton. For now, at least until January, I want to focus on the incredibly beautiful park surrounding it! I have to hold onto every last minute, of the autumn of, 2017!

 I will be featuring a different set of pictures from this photo shoot each day this week, so be sure to check back!

Lady Walking Dogs In Sweaters

Autumn Tears

Little Lady Bug Friend

#11 Leaf Of The Day

December 11th 2017

Victory Park/Haggin Museum

Stockton, California

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

Autumn Roses And Curses

"Autumn, that season of peculiar and inexhaustible on mind of taste and tenderness, that season which has drawn from every poet worthy of being read, some attempt at description,

 or some lines of feeling. She occupied her mind as much as possible in such like musings and quotations."

~Jane Austen

I reached into the archives for this rose photo, from 2013. My current December files are a bit anemic! I need to get back out with the camera, and maybe I will later today, we'll see what the day brings. I am trying to ignore the fact that it is December 10th, a slightly amusing, and slightly dreaded day in our house, because of all the hilarity over the years, and of course the fact that it's cursed. 27 years in a row, we have some kind of financial boo-boo occur. It's been everything from getting robbed... twice... to someone renting a car in my name, and then crashing it, to last years adventure. 

We stopped into our local Bargain Market, to pick up some plastic food containers, and a few other items, but when we went to the check out, sure enough, it happened... the total for 3 small items came to $109.89! Alan and I started laughing, because we knew what it was, but the checker, well, not so much! It took roughly 30 minutes to find out what had gone wrong with the scanner! The containers should have scanned at $9.00 but obviously, they didn't! Then to make it all more fun, it was ultimately discovered that, only the set we picked up had the problem! The rest of the same lot was fine. Oh December 10th, it just wouldn't be the holiday season without you!

#10 Leaf Of The Day

December 10th, 2017

Stockton, California

Mood: Amused

~Me

Taking Down Decorations

A bare tree stands

with roots at both ends

in December days

~Kiran Bantawa

Bare Trees

Alan and I were talking things over last night, about the holidays, and if we really wanted to do anything about it at all. Any decorating, or playing of board games, or visiting our favorite haunts like, Union Square, in San Francisco. Our moods have been dark and heavy lately, politics overwhelms everything! Should we buy gifts this year? Because if Trump's tax plan passes, well, we are going to be in a financial pickle come the new year. And then there is the fact that we are just getting over colds. Both of us sick, for most of the last week!

Yep... we are in a funk. I think we will push through this, but it didn't help that I got a rather large mailer from a local Funeral and Memorial service provider! And not just any one, the one that currently hosts my dad! Don't those people know that this is the time of year when suicides rates are at their highest? Come on guys, you can't get rid of me that easily! I'm just trying to think of that unfortunately timed ad as a, Fuck You, and Happy Holidays, from my dear old dad! He had that kind of sense of humor!

We will push forward. We will put up a holiday tree and some decorations, and we will find the spirit. I know we will. We just have to make an effort. That's the hard part. Making the effort. Anyway, we are about to turn to a new year, 2018, and hopefully some really nice turn of events will happen... call it a 2018 miracle! You never know, maybe 2018 will completely make up for all the pain of 2016, and 2017. It could happen, and if it does, I will put the damn holiday tree up in May, if that's when Trump is finally removed from office! You. Just. Watch. Me! 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

TREASON WILL BE THE REASON FOR THE SEASON!

#9 Leaf Of The Day

December 9th 2017

Cull Canyon Park

Mood: Sarcastic

~Me

Darkness And Light/Plus Leaf Photo Catch Up

"December, being the last month of the year,

 cannot help but make us think of what is to come."

~Fennel Hudson

A Meaningful Life

Fennel's Journal No. 1

Did you miss me? Yes, I took a few days off, to be sick as a damn dog! Alan and I both were. Coughing. Fever. Chills. Sick to our stomachs... wait... that wasn't about having a cold, that was about politics. Once again, politics couldn't help but drown all of us, in it's seedy waterfall of despair. I don't really want to talk about it, but I will share to the extent that I am fed up with witch hunts, lack of due process, and fear on a national level, of boogeymen, and clowns! There is a lot of REAL things to be afraid of. Once such thing to fear, and may have, indeed, got us here is tribalism. Don't think so? Look around. This season's theme of, American Horror Story: Cult, has pretty much nailed the current political, and social climate.

Women are becoming cultists, and hey, it's not that I don't get it. I experienced the same kind of evil, as the women coming forward have. Rape. Sexual Assault, and harassment in the workplace, and I even feel like the men who perpetrate these crimes and uncomfortable situations, should be brought into the light of day! But not because of false equations, not because politicians, who find their political roads to the top, by using fear, political fear, intimidation, of anyone, or appearance of "moral high ground." That's a little easy, don't you think? Al Franken was forced to retire from the U. S. Senate yesterday, and denied DUE PROCESS, that HE REQUESTED, after the first accusation, because Democrats want to gain ground on the senate race in Alabama.

I want that too, but to sacrifice one of our own, with NO proof and without hearing both stories, is wrong, and always will be. To fire every man, or woman, for that matter, who finds themselves in the same situation as Al Franken did, without due process, doesn't help women like me, survivors of sexual violence, it sets us back! Years! Right now, we have to hold onto everything that makes us America, and as painful as it can be, DUE PROCESS is part of that! America is falling away, more and more, and becoming something I don't recognize. Something that we might truly need to fear. So, when I read the quote I used for this post, I knew it summed up how I felt completely, and definitely bears repeating...

"December, being the last month of the year

cannot help but make us think of what is to come."

I don't think I am looking forward to 2018.

 #8 Leaf Of The Day

December 8th 2017

Tilden Park, Little Farm,

Berkeley, California

 Leaf Gallery 

( Click Each To Enlarge )

#5 Leaf Of The Day

December 4th, 2017

Cull Canyon Park

#6 Leaf Of The Day

December 5th, 2017

Tilden Park, Berkeley, Ca

#7 Leaf of The Day

December 7th, 2017

Stockton, California

Mood:Worried

~Me

 

The Full Cold Supermoon In The Constellation Of Taurus

"I, swear, the reason for full moons is so the gods can move clearly see the mischief they create."

~Michael J. Sullivan

Age Of Myth

It's December's Full Cold Moon, it's in the constellation of Taurus, it's, the last full moon of 2017, and it is a supermoon! That's a lot for one lunar event, but it explains some things too. President Trump's insane twitter rampage this weekend, and I am betting his Tweeting will only get more outrageous, as we get closer to the morning! Also in full moon events, The Philadelphia Eagles lost to Seattle, and Alan and I BOTH have head colds!

It's the perfect merging of events, set up in the sky to knock my mood and my body flat of it's ass! Still, I loved looking up at that moon, it was cold outside, not freezing, but definitely cold, but what a sight! It made me long for Twin Peaks in San Francisco, because it would have been an amazing place to watch it rise, over the East Bay hills. I miss San Francisco, but photographing something that amazing, from my own yard, was pretty wonderful too! I'm grateful, and I miss San Francisco. See, I can do two things at once!

 #4 Leaf Of The Day

December 4th, 2017

Cull Canyon Park

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

The Sweetest Season

"Wind warns November's done with.

 The blown leaves make bat-shapes, web-singed and furious."

~Sylvia Plath 

I was in Quincy, in late October, and I was losing the light quickly. I had to hurry to get all the pictures I could, and play in those beautiful leaves as long as possible! Truth is, there would never be long enough of any autumn day for my liking. The seasons of summer and autumn always seemed backwards to me. Summer gets the long hot days, when you can't think straight from the oppression of heat, and the only real color is green.

What was God thinking, putting this overwhelmingly beautiful season in front of us, and not giving us enough time to see it at our leisure? I am basically in the autumn of life, and I want to cling to it. I am smarter now, then at any other time of my life, and wouldn't go back to stupid spring for anything. Autumn is wisest season, but by the time one realizes it, it's cold and dark, and winter comes, and time goes deeply quiet. I am going to photograph autumn, for as many years I have left!

Never, ever, waste an autumn day, 

no matter what the weather is, or how much sun is left.  

It's all a gift. 

 #3 Leaf Of The Day

December 3rd 2017

Placerville, California

Mood: Quiet

~Me