Monsters

"It was written... I should always be loyal

 to the nightmare of my choice."

~Joseph Conrad

Heart Of Darkness 

 

We are living in strange days. A presidential election in America had become something that I had never seen in my lifetime. A deeply divisive, dark Shakespearean play of dirty tricks and lies which led to Donald Trump's celebrated but unlikely win, and in less than a week, he will take the oath of office and become the next president. Since the election, two months ago, things have gone from depressing, to downright scary. In November, when the unlikely happened, I began to grieve. Hillary had lost to a man who promised everything to his supporters, with no details how it would be accomplished. Hillary had not promised everything, but did give a lot of details about what she knew she could change for the better. It all should have been a no-brainer for American voters. Experience. Concrete plans. Wisdom. Instead America had decided to go with Donald Trump, all because he promised to "shake things up" in Washington D.C. and beyond, and had brought the right tone of hatred to feed his supporters the red meat they craved so much.

But make no mistake... Donald Trump's win came by way of the Electoral Collage. He didn't win the popular vote by 2.9 million votes, but we have to stand by the voting system in place, so while most American's, who bothered to vote wanted Clinton, what we are apparently stuck with is Trump. Or are we? Things surrounding Trump has taken a strange turn. So strange that life right now feels like all of us are minor characters in a spy novel. We have an actual MI6 spy, Christopher Steele. We have a covert dossier on Trump, complete with salacious details, can you say... "golden showers?" We have international intrigue. And finally we have a bigger than life villain, bigger than Trump himself, Vladimir Putin. 

Trump will take the oath of office on January 20th. It's my fear that we are living in the last week of any kind of normal for quite a while, if ever again. It's my fear that when Trump takes the oath, our country will become something completely different than the free land I grew up in. Something spooky. Something less free. Something strange and lost. I feel this way because of the revelations that have come out this past week, contained in the information discovered by Christopher Steele while he was performing opposition research for one of the candidates running against Trump in the republican primaries.

There is something much worse than "golden showers" in that dossier. Something dark and unnatural. Something that apparently spooked the former spy to the point that he decided that it needed to be seen by the FBI. That implies a crime... a serious one. We all know right now that American's can no longer trust the FBI, at least the FBI under the leadership of James Comey. That fact was made perfectly clear Friday evening by democrats, upon leaving a closed door meeting with Comey on Capitol Hill. 

As Americans we all should have the right to know what shook everyone up so much. But you can't unlearn a fact, once it's in the open. When Trump's Access Hollywood tape came out, and I listened to his stupid voice bragging to Billy Bush about grabbing women's genitals, I actually tensed up so much I hurt my back and neck. It was like no other pain I have every experienced in my life. And to this day, it hurts every single time I think about what Trump said on that tape. Once it was played, once I heard it, there was no going back. Life changed.

Life is about to change again when Trump takes office. And it will change yet again when the investigation into the Russian influence on our democracy is all said and done. We won't be able to un-ring that bell. It will be horrific. It will be devastating. And it will change America forever. It will always be a part of our history, and it will probably change our path forward. And we won't be able to not know it. The America I find myself in now, is not the America I grew up in. On it's own that is normal. It's expected. But when I was a child, someone as unprepared as Donald Trump is on the surface, would never have gotten this far, but then when I was a child there was no such thing as "fake news." Or "reality TV." And Donald Trump wasn't even on the map. One thing that hasn't changed since I was a child. Monsters. And the evil deeds they do.

Will America recover, when all is said and done? 

Shrug.

I wish I knew.

Rachel Maddow said last night on her show that

 "knowing is better than not knowing."

 I hope she's right. 

 Mood: Quiet

~Me

 

 

Love Sure Has Changed Since I Was A Child

"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."

~William Shakespeare, All's Well That Ends Well

How weird is this? Duck Dynasty valentines? Duck Dynasty? Who gives someone they love, Duck Dynasty valentines? What about these people... says... love? Don't get me wrong, I am sure as a family they have a strong love for each other, and I am sure they love their true fans, but beyond that... what?

Thoughts?

Mood: Inquisitive

~Me :)

Cruel Summer

"One day can change your life. One day can ruin your life. All life is is three or four big days that change everything."

~Beverly Donofrio

Maybe you are into pop culture, perhaps not. But you would have to have been living under a rock to have not heard about the indictment and arrest of Joe and Teresa Giudice, of the Real Housewives Of New Jersey. The indictment was handed down on Monday, and on Tuesday the reality star couple faced a judge and heard the 39 counts, mostly for fraud, that's been leveled against them.I am not sure why my jaw dropped when I heard the news, there has been a lot of sketchy behavior from the two, but I have to admit, to this extent, and that they could each be sentenced to up to 50 years in prison if convicted of their crimes, well... yes... it's shocking... I find it shocking for so many reasons. Not the least of which is that they four daughters, the oldest turned 13 earlier this year!

You may have read a post I wrote, almost a year ago, about how the cast of the Real Housewives Of New Jersey visited Half Moon Bay, and Napa on a working vacation and spent time outside in the natural beauty of the California coastline, but somehow failed to see anything of around them. Not the gentle, blue Pacific Ocean, not the crisp morning air, not the amazing sunsets, not the sight of grapes of every color,  maturing on the vine at the rolling vineyards throughout Napa and the surrounding towns  in Napa County. Instead they continued with what keeps that particular chapter of the Real Housewives franchise going... friendship betrayal, ignorance, gossip, lying, and a host of other devastating behaviors that feeds the ratings, while damning the future of not just the "adults" but the children who are clearly caught in the middle.

To make the latest situation all the more difficult for the Giudices, Teresa in particular, it was disclosed that Joe is not even a U.S. citizen, which means that if he is convicted, and serves time, he will almost certainly be deported back to Italy upon his release... oh but wait... I am not talking about convicted of these 39 counts of fraud... I am talking about the fraud case he was indicted on in a different New Jersey county a couple years ago. His trial for fraudulently obtaining a driver's license in his brother's name, begins in late October of this year. If convicted, he could serve 10 years for that particular case of fraud alone.

It's a mess, but is it a tragedy? Yes. It most certainly is! It's tragic when one day life is going along fine, maybe not perfect, but okay, and a decision is made that changes the course of one's life so profoundly that it can't be fixed. I think about what their wedding day must have been like. They woke up that day, two single people, and finished the day as a married couple, with the whole future ahead of them. Marriage vows include the good times and the bad, rich and lean, and every couple, on their wedding day, believes in forever. Don't they? And every couple looks at each other on that day as if they are the only people in the room. Don't they?

So, if that's true, how could this have happened? When did the day come that brought with it the idea to put it all at risk? When the first daughter was born, didn't both Joe and Teresa look at her and see forever? How about when the second, third or fourth came along? Why did material things become more important than their daughters financial and emotional future? That is the tragedy! It's tragic that those girls may lose their parents to prison. No mom to pick out their own wedding gowns with one day. No dad to be there to walk them down the aisle. No grandparents for their children. None of the special moments, moments and rights of passages spent with the people who gave them life.

"We pass through this world but once. Few tragedies can be more extensive than the stunting of life, few injustices deeper than the denial of an opportunity to strive or even to hope, by a limit imposed from without, but falsely identified as lying within."

~Stephen Jay Gould, The Mismeasure Of Man

Call me a schmuck, but I can't help but feel devastated for these people, and the problems they have created for themselves. I find their continued denial of guilt, not just tragic, but indeed infuriating. If they could just face REALITY, perhaps they could find the peace they yearn for. But, unfortunately, it might already be too late, but who knows? I don't want to just throw away the key, but I do wish I could understand what set all this fraud in motion, not to mention asking why she has actively worked at destroying her relationship with her brother Joe, who is probably the one family member she was closest to in the whole world.

Reality TV can be blamed for a lot of things. To some extent I believe it was the pressures of Reality TV that contributed to the suicide of Russell Armstrong, husband of Taylor Armstrong, of the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. But like the Giudices, the Armstrong's troubles began years before they became a part of the show, in fact, the show only highlighted their clawing their way up the social latter and their incessant need to keep up with the mansion dwellers next to them. Taylor, in the opening for last season quips... "I have worked too hard for this zip code to go home now." She can say that after the suicide of Russell?

Tragic?

Yes.

Now, here are a few of my own photos of the California Coastline, and a few from Napa, to show you what the cast of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey missed on their trek up the coast.

Half Moon Bay...



Point Montara, California



Ocean Beach, San Francisco California



Glen Ellen California



I am not sure why, but July was a month of tragedies. From Anthony Weiner, an otherwise talented political figure, who worked diligently for his constituents, but couldn't control his personal life, to the crash of Asiana Flight 214, to the death of Glee actor, Cory Monteith and the revelations of his personal demons. And then there was verdict in the trial of George Zimmerman. There are different schools of thoughts about the jury in that case, and the conclusion they came to, but in my own mind the law has acted as a fool, and Florida needs to reconsider the "Stand Your Ground Law" and the conditions for finding someone guilty under that law.

So, sigh, it's been a rather cruel summer, and we are only half way through. I don't remember this much bad news happening in a single month before, but I am sure there is one if you look hard enough. It's all so sad. And most of it so unnecessary. And that's the worst part. :(

 

 "Actions are the first tragedy in life, words are the second. Words are perhaps the worst. Words are merciless... ."

~Oscar Wilde

Mood: Sad

~Me

Today An Arm, Tomorrow The Leg

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."

~George W. Bush

Well... it's all his fault...it's all George W. Bush's fault... right? The latest political bullshit, also known as the Sequester. It's his fault. Again I ask... right? Well, no. No it's not. As much as I would love to make a case for how it's his fault, I can't. No, the blame belongs firmly and exclusively with Obama, and the Republican party. While admire the president's show of political balls in his offer of a 2 for one compromise, he didn't try to give them everything! He is learning that terrorists can't be negotiated with, even when you give them what the want! But it distresses me that he still seems to be oblivious to the fact that the REPUBLICAN PARTY WILL NOT WORK WITH HIM... EVER!

The effects on each individual state will vary, but it will be devastating regardless of which state you live in. Here are just a few examples of how my state, California, will be affected this year alone...

California

1. California will face a loss of about $87.6 million in funding for primary and secondary education, which will put about 1,200 teachers and aides jobs at risk.

2. The Head Start Program
 Services for about 8,200 children in California will be eliminated.

3. Protections for Clean Air and Clean Water
- $12.4 million in environmental funding to ensure clean water and air quality.

4. Law Enforcement and Public Safety Funds for Crime Prevention and Prosecution
 $1.6 million in Justice Assistance Grants that supports law enforcement, prosecution, crime prevention and education, correction and community corrections, crime victim and witness initiatives.

5. Job Search Assistance to help those in California find Employment and Training.
- $3.3 million in funding for job search assistance, referral, and placement, which results in about 129, 770 fewer people will get the help and skills needed to secure employment.

6. Child Care.
About 2,000 fewer disadvantaged children will have child care that allows their parents to work.

7. Vaccines for Children.
Around 15,810 fewer children will receive vaccines for diseases such as measles, mumps, rubella, tetanus, whooping cough, influenza, Hepatitis B.

8. Public Health.
- $2.6 million in funds to help upgrade it's ability to respond to public health threats including infectious diseases, natural disasters, and biological, chemical, nuclear and radiological events.
Also
-$12.4 million in grants to help prevent and treat substance abuse, resulting in around 9,400 fewer admissions to substance abuse programs.
-$2 million loss to California State Department Of Health Services, resulting in about 49,000 fewer HIV tests.

9. Stop Violence Against Women Program.
 -$795,000 possible loss in funds that provide services to victims of domestic violence, resulting in up to 3,000 fewer victims being helped.

10. Nutrition Assistance for Seniors.
-$5.4 million loss for programs that provide meals for seniors.

And, of course, the nationwide cuts to federal programs affects everyone. The CDC. The FBI. FEMA and the F.A.A. are just some of the programs that will see significant cuts.

I don't know my country anymore! The levels of greed and selfishness are epic and embarrassing. When will the republicans end their incessant need to bend to the will of the top 1%? When will the republican party do the right thing, be it work in good faith with the president to balance the budget, or decide to be a part of the change for the better for future generations by voting for true gun reforms such as reinstating the Assault Weapons Ban? Now that can be blamed on George W. Bush! He has a lot of blood on his hands, as does any politician who puts a false idol above the life of even 1 American.

And as for President Obama... he should have stood up to the Republican party from day one, and he didn't! When he tried to deal with Republicans and they turned away, that is when he should have stood up to them, not turn the other cheek. I feel like the president has changed his tactics since the election last November, and that is a good thing, but I am afraid it is too late now. The sequester was a bad idea, and I said so when it was introduced, but what can I do? There was NO incentive for the special group of senators to reach a deal. I am only one small peep on the Internet, but I am pretty sure I wasn't alone in my belief that President Obama needs to move beyond his fantasy of some sort of a grand bargain. It's like America has become some sort of a cheesy reality show, and all of this drama and nonsense is scripted for ratings mindless entertainment consumption.

But to answer the question you are probably wanting to ask...

The answer is YES. YES I am glad I voted for President Obama a second time. Why? Because I would rather have someone in the White House who DREAMS of hope, and fairness and change, than someone who you only hear from during your NIGHTMARES.

Washington Post
White House Releases State By State Breakdown Of The Sequesters Effects

Mood: Frustrated

~Me :)