1 Of 10,000

"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."

-Seneca

I Won! Won! I Won! Yes, I did! Are you anxious to know what I won? Are you on the edge of your seat? Are you biting your nails in anticipation? Are you thinking it might be the California Lottery? Maybe Powerball? Or it could be Carly has won the Democratic Nomination in blogging! ROFLMAO! Nah... it's nothing that amazing, really, but it was kind of fun, and it proves something, people have a certain kind of luck in their lives, good, bad, it's all in how you view things.

A few days ago, Alan came in from the mailbox, with a small square brown box, addressed to me. I hadn't ordered anything, so it was a bit of a mystery. What could possibly be in the little box? I looked it over for a return address, and there was one, but it was completely smudged, so I grabbed the scissors and cut the sides away, to find a nifty new OneTouch Ultra Mini glucose meter... in my favorite color... Pink Glow! Just like the one I got a couple week's ago as a free upgrade to my current OneTouch Ultra2 meter! LOL. It seems I had won the OneTouch Ultra 2 Colors contest, back in November, and I had NO idea. I never recieved a letter or email telling me I had won, but sometime around November I was 1 of 10,000 who did. Now I have two mini meters in Pink Glow, and one Ultra2 in the standard Navy Blue and Silver. :)

Alan and I laughed and laughed. It was only a couple week's earlier that I checked for the free upgrade, because I thought I hadn't won. It was still a fun little moment to realize I won, and it brought with it the distinct feeling of Deja vu. See, a similar thing happened back in the 90's. I was in great need of a bedside clock. I didn't want anything too fussy, but I also didn't want one that just BEEEEEEEPED either. I finally settled on a smart little woodgrain clock radio. It was small and sleek and worked really well. It was nice waking up to Sheryl Crow and Sarah McLachlan. :) Music makes me smile.

I was happy with that little clock. About a week after I purchased it, I got a call from my bank, it seems I had won a little contest I had entered to "Choose The Bank's Team Softball Colors." I picked Dark Green/Light Green... you know... like money. :) Well, other's chose that combination also, so there were multiple winners. The grand prize winner was chosen by the time of day the entry was made. But anyway, can you guess what I won? Yep, that's right, I won a nifty new clock radio, the very same clock radio I had purchased just a week earlier! LOL. I loved that clock. Actually, I loved both those clocks. Both were stolen from me, when we stored our belongings temporarily. It made me a little sad, I know it was just a clock, but it was my clock, and it helped me be on time for some important things in my life. Silly, I know, but I come by my sentimentality honestly... I am a Cancer after all.

If you look in the above photo, you will see that I once got a fortune that said, "You will be lucky in autumn." LOL. I got that fortune in the spring of 2006, and I kind of assumed it meant the Autumn of that year, but hey, that was me making an assumption. LOL. It said, "the autumn," it didn't say which autumn. LOL. So now I have a glucose meter that I can carry in both of my purses, and one that will always sit on my desk. The OneTouch company is coming out with even more colors for the OneTouch Ultra Mini, and one of them is a gorgeous purple. I might just pick that one up, when it is made available. I am such a fashion puss, and besides, purple is the hot color for spring this year! :)

-OndineMonet
"You Will Have Luck In Autumn"
Berkeley, California
Spring, 2006
Afternoon

Butterflies Flying In Formation

"Nerves and butterflies are fine - they're a physical sign that you're mentally ready and eager. You have to get the butterflies to fly in formation, that's the trick."

-Steve Bull

I have been experiencing some butterflies recently. The stress has been coming in waves. I don't know, a lot is going on for me I suppose, and I only have three more sessions with Sarah, before I officially retire from therapy. Sometimes when the stress gets bad, I wonder how long it will be before I go back to therapy, as opposed to standing on my own two feet, and apply what I have learned when times get rough. As bad as those moments of self-doubt can be, I know that I will be ok. I tell myself that I am not alone, and that everything I am experiencing, while new to me, isn't any different then what many others have gone through as well. Thank goodness those dark moments don't come around all that often. For the most part I have been visiting websites with information about diabetes, and learning for myself, at my own pace, what comes next.

Yesterday, I got a call from my doctor's office, telling me that she had ordered my new, OneTouch Ultra-2 starter kit, contains the meter, the test strips and the lancets. It was ready for pick-up at the Kaiser Pharmacy, so all I had to do was pick it up. Sigh. I had a full day planned, which is almost always so on Wednesdays, so I decided to pick it up on my way home from San Francisco. I needed my day in Golden Gate Park. It is my down time, after therapy. So, off I went to my appointment with Sarah, ready to face the fear of the day, learning to work my new glucose meter. I had some butterflies in my stomach most of the day, I know it won't be all that bad learning to work the meter, the fear I have is if I fail somehow. If my diabetes gets worse, even if I do the best I can to watch my intakes of sugars and carbohydrates. Sometimes, it has crossed my mind not to eat at all, because how can I go wrong that way? LOL. Yeah... I know... that would be pretty dumb. :)

So anyway, I planned out my dinner, which was take-out from Boston Market. Alan never asks me to cook on Wednesdays. :) I chose lean Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, Sweet Potato Casserole, and some veggies. I looked up the nutrition guide on the Internet before I left the house, so I could pick up something that would fit within my dietary guidelines. Isn't it neat the age we live in? We have it so much easier now then ever before, for most things. That is another thing helping me feel better about my situation, the fact that I can do a little research, and plan what to eat before I leave the house. No worries that I am about to consume something that will be very, very, bad for me. LOL.

Everything was all set. I started my day, and put the fear of picking up the meter behind me, for most of the day. I had a few butterfly moments, a couple big ones, but like the above quote, I was reminded that I was alive, and aware of the new challenge. By the time I got to the pharmacy, I was all set to pick it up, and have a consultation with the pharmacist, where I assumed they would teach me how to use the kit. LOL. Nope. When I got to the consultation window, the pharmacist told me that I needed to bring the kit to my diabetes class, which is on August 15th. Silly me. I should have realized that is when I would be learning how to use the meter. Jeepers... I need to get a grip. LOL. It's strange being diagnosed with diabetes, everything seems like it has to change right this minute. All these changes have to occur right now... and yet... there is time to go slow, and learn your way. So that's what I am doing, going slow, and learning my way. Tonight, for the first time in a couple weeks, I feel like the butterflies are flying in formation.

:)

-OndineMonet
Cabbage White Butterfly
Dahlia Garden
Golden Gate Park
San Francisco, California
August 1st, 2007
Afternoon