My New Pink Glow

"Just because you are not sick, doesn't mean you are healthy."

-Unknown

I am a member of the OneTouch Gold community, and recently I decided to see if I qualified for a free upgrade of my diabetes monitor. I do. The upgrade they are currently offering is the OneTouch UltraMini, which now comes in colors. So, I chose, Pink Glow, for my new meter. It's a pretty color, very pink, which will be nice for spring, and it is a lot smaller then the one in the photo above, the OneTouch Ultra 2. It will be less to carry around with me. I like that because I like to have my meter with me when I go out with the camera. Every once in a while we grab a bite out, and I try to be good about checking my blood reading before and after each meal.

I know this is going to sound silly, but it is a nice little lift to my spirits to have something a little more feminine to check my blood with. The OneTouch Ultra 2 meter is wonderful, I am so glad that is the one my HMO gave me, but this new one almost feels more like a fashion accessory, then a blood glucose meter. There are some pluses to the new meter, such as it's pretty color and it's slender design, but a definite minus is the fact that it only saves 50 results as opposed to the OneTouch Ultra 2 which holds 500. Still, if all goes well at my upcoming appointment, I will get the all clear for testing less often. That's the goal anyway.

My next A1C test is coming up in a month. A month from today to be exact. And I think everything has been going really well. I am sure my test result will reflect how serious I have taken things, but still there is that dread of the unknown, random thing that could muck it all up. LOL. Actually, except for the occasional weird moments when my blood starts to drop for some unknown reason, I have been recording fairly consistent numbers. Here are what my current readings are...

All Results Average: 119 mg/dl

Before Meal Average: 97 (for the last 7 days)

Last 14 Days: 102

Last 30 Days: 104

After Meal Average: 135 (for the last 7 days)

Last 14 Days: 134

Last 30 Days: 130

Not bad. I have managed to keep it within 5 points up or down, but I keep working toward the lowest possible reading. It's work, especially when I am less active in the wintertime. Sigh. I am keeping my weight within boundaries, and I am always experimenting with new recipes. Alan gave me a nifty new cookbook for Christmas, that I highly recommend to all diabetics, Better Homes and Gardens,Simple Everyday Diabetic Meals. The recipes are easy, and a lot of fun, not to forget delicious. Tonight, for example, I am making "Egg and Potato Casserole", for dinner, and "Maple-Nut Baked Apples" for dessert. Yum. And don't forget the Fat-Free whipped topping on top. :) Perfect for a cold winter night. It's little things, like a guilt-free dessert, that makes a diabetics day a happy one! Especially if you have a sweet tooth like I do.

I have to send a BIG raspberry sound out to Starbuck's this week, for discontinuing their Light Blended Cream Base. What were they thinking? I was just telling you a couple weeks ago, about how delicious the Starbuck's Green Tea Light Blended Frappuccino was, and within a week I found out I can't get it any longer in it's light form. BOOOO! HISSSSS. Hopefully they will bring it back by this summer. I can order the regular version, but it wouldn't be the healthiest of choices. Sigh. Man, I really loved that drink... a lot! I wrote the company an email, telling them of my dissatisfaction, I will keep you updated if they respond.

While Starbuck's might have let me down, my new favorite website, Hungry Girl, hasn't. I look forward to my daily newsletter email from there. This is a great website with tons of resources and product updates. I tried the recipe for Pumpkin Pie made with a lighter crust option, and it was FABULOUS!! You don't have to be a diabetic to get a lot from this website, even if you are just working toward managing your current weight, it is a terrific place to get current, relevant information. Be sure to check it out.

February 29th is when I see my physician, both for my 4-month diabetes check, and for my annual breast exam and mammogram. Yes, I will be having my date with Mr. Squishy that day as well. I sure wish they had a different way to check my girls for aliens. LOL. (Rolling my eyes). I am thinking about calling Dr. "E" a week or so before my appointment and requesting she order my A1C prior to my visit, so we can discuss the results during my visit with her. It's a fasting test, and I would rather have it early in the day, rather then waiting all day to eat. I don't know about you, but I get downright weird when I don't eat. Yes... LOL... weirder then usual! LOL.

So tell me, if you are living with diabetes, which meter do you use? Are you happy with it, and what do you feel are it's pluses and minuses?

-OndineMonet
"My OneTouch Ultra2 Kit"
Berkeley, California
January 27th, 2008
Evening

I'm A Big Chicken

"There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them."

-Andre Gide

Like the title of this entry says, I am a big chicken. My first instinct in all situations that initially frighten me, is to run as fast as I can in the opposite direction, so you can imagine what a funfest I was to live with when I was having as many as 5 panic attacks a day. Now actually, that was a rarity, but it did happen. Then one day I took a wonderful class called M.A.P. (Managing Panic and Anxiety). It was a 13 week course, and by the time I had completed it, I had cured myself of panic attacks, but it was work. Hard work! I took that class in 1995, and since that time I have only had 3 anxiety attacks, one of which happened yesterday. When I took the class it was impressed upon us that there was no way to eliminate anxiety completely, so the possibility that I could have a panic attack at some point in the future was almost certain, but the class taught me some strong emotional coping skills, that has never failed to see me through an attack. Everything comes down to retraining the inner tapes we all play in any given situation, even the ones we play when we are in full panic mode for no apparent reason.

As my heart began to pound, and my hands and feet went numb, I gave careful attention to my breathing. Remembering to stop and center myself, I began to focus on the chair that was holding me up. I took two long, deep breaths, and began to become aware of the sounds in my immediate environment. The wind in the trees, the new set of butterfly wind chimes I bought the other day, a siren up the road, the theme song to One Life To Live, playing on the TV in the next room. I let myself become aware very slowly of everything that affected my five senses, because I was taught that what triggers a panic attack is usually my senses picking up on a moment of stress or anxiety that has been stored away by my subconscious. The original fear doesn't have to be present, to make it's presence known.

So what was scaring me? Well, later today I have my class in diabetes basics. It is a one time class, that will teach me about what comes next in my management of the disease. I will admit that while I am looking forward to learning more about what's happening to my body, taking the class is scary. Scary because it makes it all real. Really real. I am still a little shaky about being diagnosed diabetic. The truth is, I could do everything I am told, right by the instructions, and still not be able to control my diabetes. Sigh. What if I fail? What if I do my best... and fail? In the end, all I can do is my best. Educate myself, talk about it here, ask my peers for advice, ask my doctor for advice, and do what I must. Millions manage living with diabetes everyday. Right?

You have to remember however, I am the girl who hates change. It's just that when things change, they usually do so without your permission. People move away and leave your life, and all you can do is wish them well and wave goodbye. Right? So what do you do with the pain that is left after they have gone? Ignore it? Wish it away? No, you pretty much have to face it, give it it's due and mourn it. Then you can move on. As we grow older, our bodies change, and finding ourselves in surreal situations like getting diabetes, suddenly becomes a real fact of life, with or without our permission. And again, you have to face it, give it it's due, and deal with what comes next. Sometimes I think, more then being a big chicken, I am mostly a control freak. I don't want to have diabetes. But who does? So, now what? Well, I would say it's time to COWBOY UP!

I am trying my best, and to my own credit I am succeeding slowly. I can give myself some credit for jumping into this new lifestyle and allowing myself to heal through learning and occasionally I have a good cry about things. It's a very mind clearing thing to have a good solid cry. You know, like how clear everything seems after a summer rain shower. OK, I might always feel the initial panic and urge to run in the other direction, but after I recognize the fear for what it is, I dig in and get down to work. It's a sink or swim world, and at one point I was drowning. Once you face not killing yourself, you always know that you will be able to find your way back to the surface... no matter how dark and deep the water gets.

So, I have my Diabetes Basics class today, and tomorrow I learn how to use my OneTouch Ultra meter for the first time. Please throw me a life preserver, wish me luck, and a little courage, OK?

:)

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear."

-Ambrose Redmond

-OndineMonet
"Big Chicken"
Berkeley, California
December, 2006
Late Evening