#29 On The 30th

"They tell you to turn a new leaf 

and the complain about your faded color."

Nitya Parkash

No words today, well just one...

Happiness.    :)

 

Reliable Drugs

"True alchemy lies in this formula: 'Your memory and your senses are but the nourishment of your creative impulse"."

~Arther Rimbaud 

Illuminations

I remember this sign from my childhood, and I always like it. I am not sure why it pleased my child's mind so much, it just did! Maybe it was the lettering. Maybe it was all I had heard about drugs. LOL. Maybe it just seemed that anything reliable, must be good! Maybe even as a child, I saw too much change happening around me. Shrug. I have never been a fan of too much change... too fast. But, unfortunately, change is what brings autumn back around, and so I face down yet another year of the very thing I dislike most in the whole world. 

Change. 

That's as a reliable a drug as is readily available.

~Mood: Happy

~Me  :)

 

The Way New Leaves Grow

"In every change, in every falling leaf there is

 some pain,

 some beauty.

 And that's the way new leaves grow."

~Amit Ray

Just today's Leaf Of The Day for today's post. But look at it... isn't it gorgeous?

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

Change-A-Palooza

"Never miss an opportunity to see anything that is beautiful."

~Janet Hobson

I didn't post yesterday, but it's okay, right? I was busy. Busy wrapping presents, baking 6 dozen cookies, paying the bills that get paid in the middle of the month, doing laundry, photographing more leaves, searching recipes for Baked Ham, bringing in all the late packages ordered from Amazon.com and Groupon, 15 at last count, tracking down a new noise in the house I never heard before and de-worming the cat. Hendrix to be exact. Yes, he has worms... again!

This time, because I can't face putting him through the stress of putting him in a kennel and driving him 90 miles to see Dr. B., we are trying the tablets that kill worms. It takes about a week to work, but from what I have read it does the job. If it doesn't work, I will slip my kitty some Valium, and myself as well, and we will drive down to the Bay Area to the best doctor ever! Or will I? 

That's the debate between Alan and I. He wants to find someone closer, for Hendrix's sake. He doesn't want to put him through the long drive and the stress of the car and all the scary sounds. I want to make sure my kitty gets the best care possible, and that means Dr. B. . The problem is, my argument that Hendrix will be okay once he is home again, isn't a terribly strong one. I know Alan is right, but it doesn't make either of us very happy.

Sigh.

 Losing Dr. B, is probably the worst part of what happened. 

Sigh.

I guess I should find the boys a doctor up here, if for nothing else, emergencies, but it's difficult to trust anyone other than Dr. B., he is amazing, but I have to do whats right for the boys. Right? But what is that exactly? It's less stress for them to have a doctor here in town, but what if I can't find one who will be as good as their current one? Taking them on the 90 mile drive will terrify them, but I will have piece of mind that they are getting the best care possible. Either way, I hope these pills do the trick, I don't want my boys to be uncomfortable. I love them. They are my children. And as I sit here I guess I know what I have to do. I have to find them a doctor up here. 

Weep.

Sigh.

Stupid.

It's All Just Stupid.

And what is my lesson for the last full day of autumn?

Things Change.

Sometimes everything does, all in a single action.

I think I will concentrate on that plate of cookies,

 it's a thing of beauty. So are the leaves...

Leaf Of The Day

December 19th 2015

Leaf Of The Day

December 20th 2015

Mood: Exasperated/Sad/Frustrated

~Me

Here We Go Again...

"You live and learn. At any rate, you live."

~Douglas Adams

Okay, well, it was inevitable. Today I am officially posting from the new computer. It is an HP Envy. It's too soon to tell you that you should be... envious that is... but I will get back to you on it! LOL. It's going to take me a few days to get everything back where it belongs, you know, websites and such, but I do have a few things in place. Blogger and Twitter, and, of course, I have my celebrity crush, Dylan McDermott, all nice and tucked into my favorites tab! I have my priorities after all! :) The one downside to getting this new computer is having to deal with Windows 8.1!

 I will not mince words, I was happy... HELL... thrilled after the disaster that was Windows Vista. What a walk through hell that was! 7 was everything Vista promised to be. Well, you know, you were there! Anyway, I liked Windows 7 very much, and I feel like they could have just continued with that program, but no, they created Windows 8, and then later, 8.1, so get over it and get with the program, right? Learn it and stop bitching, right? It's not like I hadn't used it before, I have it installed on my laptop, and it was fine there. So really, get over it!

Okay. I will. 

Sigh.

I don't like change, unless it's summer changing into autumn. I am completely on-board with that!

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

Round Robin Challenge: Rear View

"The past is never where you think you left it."

~Chuck Palahniuk

RRC: The Rear View

Time for a new Round Robin Photo Challenge, and this time the subject is one I suggested to Karen recently, The Rear View. The idea is simple, take a picture of something behind you. I suggested this subject because with the new year freshly upon us, I find myself leaving a lot of old thoughts and actions behind me. I am feeling much more positive this year, as I have learned to let go of the things bothering me the most. Anyway, enough of that, on with the photography...

A Tree Behind Me...


The Rear View Of Some Well Dressed Mannequins...


Empty Seats Behind Me At The Theater...


And Now For Something A Littler More Literal...

(The Rear View Image Of A Late Autumn Tree, Out Of My Beloved Old Car 2005)

The Rear View Of A Pair Of Teddy Bear Pals...


The first photo was taken a couple weeks ago, in Pleasanton, California. It looks more like a side photo, and it kinda was, but in order to get that angle I had to contort in a very uncomfortable position in order to capture any of the reflection in that beautiful window. So, I think it counts. Hopefully. 

Now that you have seen my contribution, be sure to pay a visit to all the Robins participating in this round. Simply click the link at the top of the page to be redirected to the official Round Robin Photo Blog. There you will find the participation link, and all the information you need to join in the challenge!

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

A Photo A Day For 6 Months:Day 126~ Whoopsie Wheres My Hope??

"Where you are right now, doesn't have to determine where you'll end up."

~Barack Obama

Time flies when your having fun. Well, let's face it, time flies period when you hit a certain age. No asking for my approval. No asking if I would like yet another grey hair. No asking me if I want to ask the 20 something kid at the store to take my groceries out to my car. No asking me at all. Time is just plain rude, but it unfortunately has a monopoly on my journey. I have tried distracting myself. I have tried ignoring time, in hopes it would just go away, but then I realized what that actually meant and stopped doing that immediately. LOL. There is no negotiation with time. Time is clearly in charge, unless you are Bruce Jenner. He has decided to fight time... lol... by injecting Botulinum toxin into his face so no one will know he is 62. Good idea I suppose, because it's not like we can just Google him or reference his Wikipedia page or anything.

Sheesh! That guy is spooky looking, and it's not even time's fault! Go figure.

I am 50 now. My goodness, when did that happen? Wasn't it just the other day I was out partying with my best girlfriends, drinking screwdrivers, dancing with cute guys, and rocking out to Madonna, and our personal theme song from Cyndi Lauper, Girls Just Want To Have Fun? If you are under 50, you are not allowed to laugh at the memories of my days as a single girl on the town. Your reflective days will come soon enough, and what I am saying will make perfect sense. Believe me. And while it might sound like I am mourning that time in my life, I am really not. I did it all just the way I wanted to, and finally settled down when I was 28. I wouldn't change a thing. Oh don't get me wrong, I made some mistakes in dating, like that time I became a republican, briefly, all for a guy no less, but it all happened as it should, and today I can say, I love my age, grey hair, ability to finally say what I want to in the moment, and say the most lovely word in the English language... NO. I am just not sure when it all came into perspective.

What is all askew is that as hard as Alan and I have tried, we both thought that there would be more opportunities when we got to this age. I don't know, it has seemed that things in the last 15 or so years has began to slide as prices have soared. Gas prices... forget about it. Clothing... what the hell? Food... really, $5 for a decent loaf of bread? Movies... $12.50 for a matinee? Ice Cream... $4.50 a quart? Prescriptions, with health care... $35.00 a month, without... $300.00? It's scary! And it's getting scarier! And as much as I want to buy into the whole HOPE & CHANGE idea, I can't. Not again. Not like 4 years ago.

For the first time, in a very long time, I have been seriously considering sitting the whole national election out. I don't think President Obama comes close to representing my ideals, and values as a progressive liberal. However, when I think of a Romney/Ryan administration, cold chills run up my spine. Especially after the events this week. We are still held in somewhat contempt by the rest of the world because of the actions of the Bush administration, if Mitt Romney is elected to office, we will continue to slide farther and farther down in terms of world wide view. And what he, and the GOP as a whole seems to miss, is that we do indeed need to be apologizing to the world for our actions, in fact it wouldn't be a bad idea to ask for forgiveness.

Sigh.

I don't have much HOPE anymore, because I don't feel Obama has kept his promise for change. Washington is still Washington. And politics is definitely still politics. End of story. I had hope that after 8 years of division in AMERICA, folks on both sides would try to put it behind us. What was I thinking? I don't blame Obama so much for the lack of change, no Rush Limbaugh and Fox News said up front that they wanted nothing more than to see Obama fail, even if it means America fails as well. I put the responsibility for my frustration on myself, for buying into something that seemed a little too good to be true. I can't say that Obama lead me down a primrose path or anything, no, I believe he had all kinds of good intentions, but you know that old adage... The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions.

Unfortunately, we are all right there on the road with him.

I am not 100 percent sure what I will do in November. I know if Mitt Romney is elected we will be in another full on war, and I don't know how much more war we can all take to be honest. It might just be the beginning of the end, if we aren't there already. Mitt Romney, politicizing the death of the Ambassador to Libya this week did nothing to make the world better, or to keep us safe, or improve our credibility in the eyes of the world. Sigh. At least Obama has that going for him. I think. We'll see. I know I am not taking reaching my 51st birthday for granted, assuming we all survive December 21st. The day the Mayan calendar seems to end on. For the most part, I don't believe the world will end that day, but just in case I am eating all the fucking ice cream I want. At least that's my HOPE. And I don't plan to worry that it is almost $5 a quart.

~Me

And Now For A Little Humor. SNL's Kardashian Wedding/Divorce. It ALWAYS makes me laugh!

 

Today's link comes from our friend JR. He's awesome!

JR
http://jrclinephotography.blogspot.com/2012/09/apadf6-123-and-124.html

That's Me... Over There

From For Ellipsis

"It's not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."

-W. Edwards Deming

Forgive me, I am feel introspective today.

I am a silly girl... well... woman. LOL. I haven't been a "girl" for a while now... but anyway... I live for autumn, yet I resist change at all cost! LOL. It's so strange, autumn is all about change. It exists to teach us that change is not only inevitable, but something that shouldn't be feared or resisted because change brings renewed growth if you just have a little patience. I bubble with excitement each September as the leaves on the trees transition from shades of healthy green, to the earthy reds, yellows, deep purples and browns, yet I rarely allow myself to think too long about what it all really means. Change.

It seems that everything changes too fast. But then again, is there any other way to move on but one day, no, one minute at a time? Time. Something else I will never understand. One day I am petting Elvis and putting his little chef's hat on him as we write up the menu for Thanksgiving dinner, and the next I am missing him to the point I am sobbing... and he has already been gone over a year! I miss him. I miss his little habits. I miss his insisting that there should only be 4 plastic bottles per recycle bag. I miss his kisses first thing in the morning, and I miss his whiskers, which he would rub on my knees as I sat typing at the computer. That was change I could have done without, and yet I love my two little boys Dylan and Hendrix so deeply, I wonder how I ever lived without them. Does that make sense?

I have had other changes in my life recently, changes which are a little less profound. I am probably the last person on the Internet to finally get a Twitter account. LOL. Yes, I am now a TWIT. LOL. I don't know... I guess I shy away from new things on the net because I don't really want to be found by folks I would rather not know any more. Does that sound mean? It's not that I hold any bad feelings, it's just that why reopen doors that aren't good for you?

I signed up for Facebook earlier this year, and it's kind of fun, but again I tend to keep myself in a small space by not adding every single person who asks me to. I don't know why, I am just not comfortable with adding the whole universe to my list of "friends." I was pleasantly surprised to get some invitations from some of my buddies from the old AOL days. Hi again Vince, Robbie and Amy. :) You guys always make me smile. But when I went to hit the "find friends" feature one day, someones profile came up that I haven't spoken to in at least 3 years... and it was difficult.

It's not that we parted company on bad terms, we didn't, we just didn't part as friends. Sigh. Sometimes there is a strange sort of limbo in relationships, and yes, it gets to me sometimes. I had forgotten this person was even in my Internet address book, and then POP there they were. I could have sent an invitation to be a friend on Facebook but why? 3 years seems like a long time, too long methinks. After all, I did the best I could to deal with the change presented to me at the time, and did a really good job of adapting, so why go back? Still, it's November and I always think about Mr. November when the leaves change.

Enough said.

Sometimes I wonder if there is such a thing as Internet Claustrophobia? I really like keeping my Internet life small, and yet I LOVE getting comments and seeing that my "Followers" list is up to 41! LOL. It's not a lot of folks, but I am happy to see each one that's there. I even get excited when I see "anonymous" has been by. Hi Anonymous! LOL. I sometimes click on the "next blog" feature and visit new folks just to say hello, that's how I met Suzanne, and yet I shy away from really getting to know people. I have some really strong walls built, and I can't help but wonder... why? When you add it all up it doesn't really equal claustrophobia, but it does have name, I am just not sure what it is.

Is it because it's easier to be lonely in a crowd? Is it because I don't want to get close to too many people because ultimately change will happen? I still miss my friend Pam. She died too young. So did my friend Frank. They were there when I really needed a friend, and now they are gone. I think about both of them during the holidays, and I miss them, but I am glad I got the chance to be on the path with them, if only for a little while. Sometimes I wish I could get an IM from Frank just one more time, asking to borrow some peanut butter. LOL. That guy!

At least I can see the next really big change coming. In today's news I read about AOL cutting back it's entire workforce by 1/3. That's big! I wonder how much longer it will even be in business? I haven't been a paying AOL customer for over 6 months, but I still log into it every morning because I prefer the way it looks to my current ISP Comcast. AOL always did have a nice look about it, but looks just aren't enough, so I finally made the big move, years later then I should have, and yet I have kept my email account, and still use it as my main contact information. LOL. Sing it with my now...

You put your left foot in,
you pull your left foot out,
you put your left foot in and you shake it all about.
You do the hokey poky and you turn yourself around,
that's what it's all about.

LOL.

One day AOL will be gone too.

Stuff happens.

Change happens.

But for now...

I am over here and here and here... and I am doing fine.

AOL Offers Buyouts To 2,500 A Third Of It's Workforce.

-Carly

"The View From Mt Tamalpias"
Mt Tamalpais, Marin County, California

Blogger's Community Photo Challenge: Change

"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live."

-Flora Whittmore

The subject for this round of the Blogger's Community Photo Challenge is "Change." What a great idea. We are in autumn now, and change is all around us. Last weekend, here in the Bay Area, we had a wonderful mixture of weather, as the transition to those shorter colder days inch their way in. The change in the weather leaves me with mixed emotions. I have come to enjoy those warm days, but those cool nights are great for cuddling. I guess in some ways it's the best of both worlds. And my favorite of all change, has to be the way the leaves on the trees turn such beautiful colors and then fall to the earth. Sigh. I love leaves. The way to this girl's heart isn't with a bouquet of flowers, it's with a bouquet of leaves.

-Carly
"The Old Blue Wheelbarrow"
Berkeley, California
October 5th, 2008
Late Afternoon

Karen's Weekend Assignment #214: Fresh Starts

"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions, that change your life forever."

-Keri Russell

Weekend Assignment #214: Sooner or later, pretty much everyone makes one or more major changes in their lives, sometimes several at once. We leave home, go off to college, get married, get divorced, change jobs, have kids, move to another house or another state, etc, etc. These things can be very stressful, but we do them in the hope of being better off in some way. Tell us of one change you voluntarily made in your life at some point, that worked out really well.

Extra Credit: Tell us of a little tiny change that also went well!

-Karen Funk Blocher, of the blog, Outpost Mavarin

It's funny that this subject came up for a Weekend Assignment at this particular time, because it crossed my mind last night to write a little about it. Today, May 2nd, is the 7th anniversary of when we moved into the little cottage we live in now. I love this place, it is more then just the roof over my head... it's the LOVE SHACK! LOL. We moved in here, during a really turbulent time in our lives and in our marriage, but we found this place set back from the road, up here in the hills, and from our first night here, we have been happy, safe, and did I mention happy? :) It has some really charming quirks to it, including a huge backyard that one can get lost in. Three seasons out of the year, we will get nightly visitors to our yard, in the form of opossums. A very misunderstood creature if ever there was one. And on most summer days, you can close your eyes and hear the Ethereal Musician playing his saxophone off in the distance.

In the seven years we have lived here, we have never been able to figure out which direction the music is coming from. He is a great, mysterious force that plays music on the breeze, and so many times he has sent me into a daydream, that gave me the peace I needed inside to face whatever hurtful thing that might have been present. One of these times was in the late afternoon of 9/11/2001, when there were suddenly no airplanes in the air, and no children playing joyfully out in the yard, and everything had taken on an eerie silence, as we all sat paralysed in front of our TV's waiting to see if more devastation would take place. At one point I got up to let Elvis out to play in the yard, and when I opened the back door, I could hear the Ethereal Musician playing America on his sax. It was one of those profound moments you don't forget. The sight of the sun setting on that day, and the sound of the music being played somewhere off in the distance. So sad, so sweet. The fresh start we made by moving into this little place, was the best fresh start I ever made.

Extra Credit: One recent change was from using the One Touch Ultra 2 meter, to the One Touch Mini. I use the Ultra 2 when I am at home, and the mini when I am out with the camera. It has been kinda nice to take the sleeker little meter with me, and it fits well in my camera bag. And besides, it's color is a fashionable PINK GLOW!

-OndineMonet
"I Want Pluto To Be A Planet Again"
January 4th, 2007
Berkeley, California
Afternoon

John Scalzi's Weekend Assignment #191: Change

Click on the above photo to see it in a larger version.

"Change is inevitable, except in vending machines."

-Robert C. Gallagher

Things change. People change. Hairstyles change. Can you guess what this week's Weekend Assignment might be about?

Weekend Assignment #191: Show us, or tell us a story about, change. A before and after picture of the street where you grew up, a story about meeting an old friend after many years, two pictures of yourself separated by a number of years, a tale about changing your life, or showing or tell us about something in the process of changing itself. Any of these is good. And doesn't have to be a negative, because sometimes change is a good thing.

Extra Credit: Do you feel that you are changing right now?

-John Scalzi (By The Way)

I had a wonderful time last month on vacation. We drove to Reno, and along the way I had the chance to photograph be beautiful changing leaves that are on the trees that line the amazingly beautiful Donner Lake, on the Donner Pass. I wish I had a photo of how the lake looks in other seasons, but I don't have one available. I am now inspired to get up there this winter, to photograph it after all the leaves have fallen, and while there is still snow on the ground.

The Sierra's are beautiful anytime of year, but I am especially drawn to this area in the autumn. It just glows in the autumn, and I feel peaceful and calm, like during no other time of year. Autumn is about change, and while I am certainly not a fan of change, I yearn for the autumn. Strange, but true. This autumn has already brought me some wonderful gifts, especially in regards to my diabetes. I just wrote about my good news yesterday, so I won't go into the details again, but I will say, I am a very happy camper because of the positive changes I have gone through this year. John is right, change doesn't always have to be negative, sometimes change can completely make our days, and our lives. :)

Extra Credit: Yes, I am changing right now. I am learning to appreciate change, and not fear it! :)

"I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed."

-George Carlin

-OndineMonet
"Lake Donner Changes"
Lake Donner, California
October 23rd, 2007
Late Afternoon