Whew! That Was A Close One Harrison Ford!

"Give them pleasure. The same pleasure they have

 when they wake up from a nightmare."

~Alfred Hitchcock

Yesterday, Thursday afternoon, CNN broke into it's usual afternoon programing of  generally horrifying events, to bring it's viewers BREAKING NEWS of a specific horrifying event... "HARRISON FORD INJURED IN A PLANE CRASH!" My first thought after seeing the pictures of the downed plane was no, no, nope NO! Harrison Ford does not get to die on me. NO! Like it was his choice to, or within my power to prevent. I can't seem to keep a favorite show on the air, let alone keep all my favorite actors in perfect mental and physical health. But see, I am still smarting over the death of Robin Williams. Now I know, it's completely different. It is. I know that. But here is the thing, life is difficult. Sometimes, really difficult, and when it is, I like to escape into a movie, or a TV show and just get lost in the script. Does that make sense? Of course it does. Who doesn't love a good movie? And when it comes to the movies, who does it better than Harrison Ford? 

Just A Few Of My Favorites...

The Conversation

 (Go See It On Netflix NOW)

American Graffiti

Star Wars

The Empire Strikes Back

Return Of The Jedi

Working Girl

Blade Runner

Raiders Of The Lost Ark

Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom

And My Very Favorite

What Lies Beneath

I know, the reviews for the movie were mixed, but in general, I like to make up my own mind. There, I said it. Sometimes I think they over analyze a movie to the point that it isn't possible for them to find a movie they would actually like, let alone recommend one to us. Why do folks want to take the fun out of films by over thinking them? Go to the theater. Buy yourself some wonderfully unhealthy bucket of almost-butter buttered popcorn, and a hot dog, and a large unhealthy drink, sit back, and get lost for a couple hours. Let go. Stop nitpicking. Forget you are the smartest person in the theater, and clap at the end of the movie, like I did, at the end of Raiders Of The Lost Ark. When Indiana Jones said to Marion... "Don't look" as the Nazi's opened the Arc Of The Covenant, I didn't look. I heard it being opened. I could tell something BAD was happening, but damn it, Indiana/Harrison told me "DON'T LOOK!" And when Indiana Jones tells you not to do something, YOU DON'T! And I didn't for years after! Then one day, I accidentally saw that part of the movie, when it was used as a clip on At The Movies With Siskle and Ebert. 

Sigh.

I was kinda pissed at Siskel and Ebert for a while after that!

Just kidding. Kinda.

Anyway, I got a little taste today of what it might be like to lose another great like Harrison Ford. It will make whatever day that is, the worst day since... well... in a long time I am sure. I know I will never be ready to let go of those people who made my life better, just by sharing their talents of acting or singing or writing or painting. The arts, and the artists, make life bearable. There is no replacing the uniqueness of it. Sitting here, right now, I can't think of who would have played a better cad in the Robert Zemeckis's film, What Lies Beneath than Harrison Ford. No one could have at once been the right kind of sexy intellectual charmer, loving husband and father, devoted friend, or dedicated researcher, quite like him, and when all that amazing virtue, turned into the selfish, egotistical, maniacal, jackass of a husband, I think only Harrison Ford could put that little extra chill in the performing the character.

That's why I have it on VHS, DVD, and GOOGLE PLAY, so, it can be seen all my devices. It's my favorite escape movie. I have a story about why it's my favorite movie, but I will share that a different time. But briefly, it was released in 2000, not long before something devastating happened in my life, and that movie, and the brief escape it gave me during that awful time, helped immensely. It will always be my favorite Harrison Ford movie, at least until I see him in the new Star Wars film coming out later this year! LOL. Who knows? It my change my mind, Han Solo was always quite the cutie manly man. Shrug. 

You never know about these things, I don't wanna over think it.

Feel Better Soon Harrison Ford!

Mood: Thinking About Stuff, But Good.

~Me :)

Big Days That Change Everything...

"A tragedy is a tragedy, and at the bottom, all tragedies are stupid. Give me a choice and I'll take A Midsummer Night's Dream over Hamlet every time. Any fool with steady hands and a working set of lungs can build up a house of cards and then blow it down, but it takes a genius to make people laugh."

~Stephen King

I have heard it said, many many times, that comedy and tragedy go together, hand in hand. You can't have one without the other. I believe that, for the most part, having lived through my own various tragedies, some as recent as a few months ago, when a friend committed suicide. At the time, there was nothing funny about it! 4 months later... there is nothing funny about it! But having fully transitioned the five stages of grief now, and having finally settled into acceptance, I understand that maybe one day some strange spark of humor will catch me off guard. Shrug. In some of my deepest grieving, I have found humor, and in truth that humor saved me. 

Yesterday I woke up to a strange Deja vu feeling, as I listened to CNN's coverage of the downing of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 over the Ukraine. Initially there was reporting that the flight had gone missing, just like Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 did last March, but soon it was confirmed that indeed Flight MH17 had crashed, and then later it was confirmed that it had been blown out of the sky. There was nothing... nothing... that could be construed as humorous in the situation, and yet there I was making stupid jokes. Oh not about the crash per se, but rather the humor that was coming to me had to do with the fact that I have given up on the idea of ever flying commercial again! Or private jet for that matter! 

I joked on Twitter that I was done with flying, and when I do decide to finally see London, I will simply ride my bike there! Good plan! And when Alan and I finally do that trip to New York City, well my preferred mode of transportation will be the handy dandy Segway! Hey, it could work, right? I mean if someone could walk to New York, or ride their electric wheelchair, then why not a Segway? It would be a living HELL over the Rockies, but whatever, I am willing to give it a go! See, there's that humor, nervous humor to be exact, that comes out when I am anxious, or scared! Inappropriate? Perhaps, but essential to my staying sane.

Selfish much?

Maybe... maybe not. Shrug. I am giving myself a break here. I am trying to remember that different people handle tragedy differently, and I am no exception.

Actor Jason Biggs got himself into a bit of trouble on Twitter yesterday for a series of tweets with a humorous spin regarding the crash. I thought he was fine, I wasn't offended by what he said, but it bothered some folks and they were more than happy to let him know! I don't know... I don't think he was trying to harm anyone, or hurt anyone, but I think we, the human race at large, has been subjected to so much tragedy since 9/11, personally and collectively, that we are raw when it comes to times like this! We can't grieve for each other, that is a personal journey we all get to ourselves. We can be there for each other, we can relate, we can sympathize and empathize, but at the end of the day, we all must deal with the tragedy and absurdities in our own way. 

It's a lonely feeling isn't it?

Maybe we can just all try to remember to be patient with each other.

As a point of irony, I read about a young man, a passenger, who tweeted a bit of humor, just before boarding the doomed flight. He was referencing the missing Malaysian Flight 370. I can only imagine that he also used humor to help him through the anxious moments of life. Sigh. His name was Cor Pan and there is a Facebook Memorial page for him if you would like to leave your respects. Yeah, I think trying that idea about using a little patience with each other might be the way to go.

Patience... a good thing in times of war. Both our internal conflicts and those of the world.

Mood: Quiet

~Me :)

Coping Mechanisms

"People say time will help you heal and move on, but it's not true. Time only teaches you to manage the tears so they fall when you are alone, because everyone else thinks you should be okay by now."

~Kaliana Dietrich

It's true. Time does heal you. But it's also true that time does teach you to manage things. It's also true that those who love you, friends, relatives, sometimes even mere acquaintances will expect you to return to your old self in their time periods... not yours. You don't have a say in it. You can give it a try and pretend to be okay, but you will eventually grow to resent the pressure to conform.

At the moment I find myself in a frustrating situation. I am being bullied by a neighbor. We had a falling out 2 years ago in one of those "final straw" moments. He doesn't just bully me, he bullies anyone he feels he can get away with bullying. Because he doesn't know when to stop, he always ends up getting his fingers slapped, but he will eventually start up again. It's pretty much a regular pattern. Behaviors such as making as much noise as possible without breaking the law. Letting his dog bark at 3:00 in the morning, then he reminds all of us who live around him that he has a police scanner on his iPhone and can quiet the dog before they arrive. Stupid immature behaviors like that.

I've done some research on bullies, and I have a new insight about things. Adult bullies were often bullied as children. If their parents, or teachers, didn't or wouldn't, or couldn't teach them proper coping mechanisms, they often grow up to become bullies themselves. It's not an excuse for their anti-social behavior, but it's a reason.  I try to have compassion. I try to remember that deep down the neighbor is seeking attention. I try. GOD HELP ME I TRY! But I am only human! I try. But there are times when I could just pack up and move from my cottage, but I cannot let someone drive me from a home I have lived in, comfortably, for nearly 15 years... and I won't. To give in is to empower the bully, and you know what happens after that!

So, I am trying my best to learn to have compassion, and understand that his behavior is more about his struggles than mine, and hope that one day he will tire of his own behavior... Probably not likely, but people do, sometimes, change for the better. What can I do? At age 51 I don't give into bullies, and especially not in his case. But for the sake of debate lets say I did move, I would always wonder if the empowerment I would be handing him, would be passed onto whoever moved in after me. I have seen him drive other neighbors off the property with his baloney, and that's exactly what happens each time, he becomes a bigger monster.

Truly, I would feel bad about passing that kind of a haunted house along to someone.

As for how I am dulling the pain and anxiety... with... my choice of coping mechanisms...

Alan, Head Phones, Researching The Subject, Old Movies, My Cats And Yes, The Occasional Valium.

For every evil under the sun
There is a remedy or there is none
If there be one seek till you find it
If there be none then never mind it

~Mother Goose

Mood: Quiet

~Me

PS: About the photo for this post. I saw these items in a shopping cart in the parking lot of a K-Mart here in the East Bay. I haven't touched them in any way, this is exactly as they were arranged. In a weird way it made me feel less alone.