The Cold Hard Truth

"You start with a darkness to move through, 

but sometimes the darkness moves through you."

~Dean Young

True Story...

One time, way back in the late 80's, I dated a man who wasn't right for me, but I was head over heals in love, or so I thought, so nothing was going to sway me. He was a minister, and a republican, and I thought we could face it all, and still be true to ourselves. OH. MY. GOD. How naive was that? My father, the great progressive that he was, told me, "you'll change your mind about him" and sure enough, Dad was right! It only took the guy's mother, deliberately giving me, and everyone else at the dinner, including my future husband, Alan, food poisoning, to make me wise up!

 I felt so much better when I finished purging, not just the under-cooked turkey dinner she made us, but the man as well. See, his mother would poison every girl who dated her little boy, just to find out who had the "strength" to conquer adversity. The lady he finally married told me, that she had been poisoned as well, with some bad clam chowder his mother served her, but she married him anyway, because, as it turns out, she was strong enough to deal with not just the motherly stress test, but she was a republican, and she understood what kind of strength it took to be the wife of a minister!

 How could dad have been so right? How did dad know that guy wasn't right for me? In any case his family wasn't right for me, and his being a republican, really wasn't going to be right for me! And all it took for me to see the light, was 24 hours of vomiting, and finally realizing my dad had been right all along! It was a hell of a thing to have to admit to, but I wouldn't change the circumstances for anything! It was the cold, hard truth, that I probably knew all along, deep down, that I needed to deal with! Dad was very good about buying me all the ginger ale I needed and not laughing out loud at me, when I admitted to him, that he was right.

 Alan and I began dating 3 months later, and we were married about 2 years after that! Here we are, after 27 years of marriage, and we are not only still in love, but we exchange love texts several times a day! I married the right man! And in our 27 years of marriage, not only has his mother never given me food poisoning, but she understood when Alan saw the light, and became a progressive! I wonder if dad saw that coming too? He was very happy when he found out we were getting married, so I still wonder if he knew Alan and I were in love before we did! Unfortunately, I never asked him, but somehow I think he did.

All those memories came back to me the other day, when I saw this funny little snow machine, at the Sacramento Holiday Ice Rink. It's funny how it all became a cherished memory. You wouldn't think that it be something one would want to ever think about again, but that is one of my best memories of my dad. That was when I learned my dad was pretty damned smart, and he had a wonderful sense of humor, especially when he was going through a difficult time. So I think he would have loved this little snow machine, as much as I did, because he probably has a memory of a time when his father had been 100% right about a particular life experience too! I just hope dad's memory didn't involve 24 hours of vomiting to come to his senses!