"I needed a long lingering autumn,
a tenure with which to ease into another state of being."
~Ruchika Tomar
A Prayer For Travelers
Sometimes I think autumn talks to me. Autumn Leaves whispering, everything will be fine. Of course they could be lying, or perhaps mistaken... right? Maybe it's a ghost. Maybe it's my dad. He died in August of 1995. He disliked summer almost as much as I do. His birthday was October 5th, so naturally I think of him in October, and how much he enjoyed this month. Halloween was a big deal in our house, in fact, it was probably the happiest of all the holidays. We had a lot of challenges as a family, but we got Halloween and politics right. Well, right for us. Talking politics, and carving pumpkins are some of my best memories with dad.
He'd ask me, after he carved the pumpkin, and while I was scooping the guts out, about my life, and if I had anything concerning me. Had some dumb guy hurt me, or was I worried about anything, and I would share. We talked about everything from the Vietnam war, to my mother's open heart surgery, to the 6 months that I was a registered Republican. He advised me with that one that I'd change my mind, and six months later, I did! I miss those talks, but I still feel him around when I am scared, and completely out of control with they ability to do anything about it. Even he couldn't fix it, he would find the right words to make it make sense. I sure miss him, but sometimes I can almost hear him whispering through the rustling leaves, "It's okay. It's autumn." Which didn't really help, but it did make me smile.
Thanks Dad.
~Carly
October 24th 2020
Stockton, California
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