Monday, July 27, 2015

Who Does That?

"Life isn't always about fireworks. Your fireworks will come Sarah, and they will fizzle out just as fast. Life is an experience, not a destination. All of us has the same destination, but not one of us has had an identical experince. You'll find someone who will be there when the fireworks fizzle out and the sky turns black and love you just the same. That's the one to hold onto."

~Marilyn Grey

Okay. Life is many things. I got that! It's at times... BORING, HECTIC, SEXY, FUN, MYSTERIOUS, STUPID, MEAN-SPIRITED, HAPPY, DEVASTATING, LOVELY, COZY, FUCKED UP, UNFAIR, BARELY TOLERABLE, AMAZING, SCARY, PAINFUL, JOYOUS, and we defy the odds to even make it here for the brief time we are allotted. I am in the middle of all those things that make life worth living. Everything you see listed above and more. All I really want is to put the last few months into a tidy little file and forget it ever happened, but that isn't really possible... is it? 

Alan and I are still mulling over our options. We need to reconsider how much we can afford for rent, and if we can afford to go home again. I think it's possible, especially in that we were smart and didn't spend the settlement money we got back in May. We can pay all our bills off, which will free up a sum to put toward rent. It's just now a matter of finding an apartment or a house to rent. Wish us luck. We are going to need it.

I wish I could say more about what happened, but for right now I don't think I will. I don't want to dwell on my blog, not now. The negativity is sitting on my soul every single day when I wake up. It probably will until we find a place to rent. I just keep wondering how someone could have done what they did? How could they sit in front of us and LIE... with no thought of how it would damage us?
Who does that?

Don't worry friends, posting to Ellipsis daily is how I find the beauty and happiness in the world, so as the next few days and weeks go, my posts will come around to the beauty in the world and eventually the comically absurd. That is why posting daily is so important for me. Please don't give up on me because of this temporary negativity, I have some beautiful photos planned for later this week, Just be patient while I wade through the muck on my way to the shore
I'll get there, I promise.

Mood: Quiet
Fireworks July 4th, 2015

1 comment:

sunflowerkat321 said...

Sending you big wishes for all the luck in the world. I've know how hard this is....we went through a terrible time a couple of years ago where we didn't know what we were going to do to recover from what life had thrown at us. It's no fun living in limbo. You have to let yourself believe it will all sort out for the best.