Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Standing In The Last Leaves Of October


"In this universe there might be roses which sing."

~Stephen King

IT

That is a photo of the last of October leaves of 2017. It was also the last moments of light, on October 28th, in Quincy, California, and across the street the movie IT was on the marque of a small movie house. In my imagination, for just a few minutes, I could have sworn I was in Derry, Maine, home of Pennywise the clown, waiting for him to pop out of nowhere with a red balloon to offer me.  

Stephen King has always been one of my favorite authors. I like being scared, and his books do just that... scare me! But they also comfort me in an odd way, because they cause great introspection, and encourage me to imagine my response, and how I would react should I find myself in a terrifying unforeseen circumstance. So one day, last summer I think, when King posted on his Twitter feed that Donald Trump had blocked him, I was dumbfounded for a moment, and I couldn't quite wrap my mind around Trump blocking Stephen King!

I guess on some level, King had touched a nerve. He either angered a madman, or frightened him, I wasn't sure which, because those two emotions are so close in relation. The Fight or Flight response tends to kick in when we are faced with a sudden situation presents itself. Do we run... or do we stay and take a stand?

It seems to me that Trump runs, more often than he chooses to stand. Running is easier than facing what frightens you. In Trump's case, I believe it's truth that scares him, and drives most of his decisions. President Pennywise, much like Pennywise the clown, he plays on the fears of anyone who dare stand up to him. Ironically, it's fear that drives most of his maniacal decisions.

I have spent most of this past year terrified. Will nuclear war break out? Will the tax plan he is pushing, make it impossible to hold onto our new house? Will he continue to drive us mad with his constant denials that Russia was involved in the 2016 election? What has be promised Putin, and is it too late to fix the damage? And most recently, will he manufacture false evidence to begin jailing his political opponents, and if so, will he also begin jailing folks like you and me, in essence, anyone who dare speak against him?

But standing in that pile of leaves, on that late afternoon, in October, I didn't know what to do. It was the middle of vacation, and I had a chill deep down in my soul, like I was seeing autumn for the last time, and it made me sad, and scared. Sigh. So many things have happened in my life, that I never saw coming, both good and bad, and to tell you the truth, I think I handled it better because I didn't see it coming. Like an earthquake, knowing about it, wouldn't have give me the power to stop it. It is going to happen with or without my permission, and it was the decision, in the moment, that saved me.

 So, I was pondering, on that day, what it would be like to go through your entire life, so self absorbed, that when when something happens to you, unexpectedly, you pretend that truth doesn't exist, unless you have NO choice but decide your path in the moment. But in all other scenarios, if you block the source of the truth that could lead you to saving your own life or the life of others, what happens then?

Trump once admitted seeing a man fall, and hit his head so hard that the man began bleeding badly, and he chose not to lift a finger to help him. Trump is the king of lies, and anyone paying attention knows he lies to himself, as much as he lies to the rest of us, but if that story, if true, proved himself not just a liar, but indeed a coward. It takes courage to take a stand, and for months now I have seen very few in our government willing to do much, if anything to take a stand against his dangerous decisions and actions. 

Does love always win?

Does it matter if you have courage, if the circumstances requiring you to choose your stance, are completely out of your control? Then it dawned on me, that Trump isn't just President Pennywise, he is at least half Randall Flagg, the evil protagonist, from The Stand. I know, I know, books that provoke the timeless questions of how defeat evil is what King writes about, many authors do, but maybe it's time to pay attention to the moral of King's stories. Anything worth living for, is worth fighting for, and that requires strength, truth, and self esteem. So, if I am going to survive Trump's presidency, I have to find my courage, and refuse to let that clown in the White House steal my life.

And I'm trying to do just that.

Some days are easier than others, but I'm working on it.

If Trump is so scared of the honest opinions and truth that he blocked Stephen King, then I would say we are all in good company, and we are not alone in this. 

That feeling of not being alone makes me feel stronger.

We will survive this, and I will be standing in a big pile of leaves in some October yet to come, with no fear, only relief.

"The place where you made your stand never mattered. Only that you were there... and still on your feet."

Stephen King
~The Stand

#15 Leaf Of The Day
November 15th 2017
Stockton, California

Mood: Contemplative
~Me

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