Tuesday, June 14, 2016

The Other Side Of The Shutter

"Do one thing every day that scares you."

~Eleanor Roosevelt

At the moment, photography scares me. Well, scares might be a strong word, more like I am just not feeling it. I am going through yet another rough patch. Not really depressed but not really happy either. My father in law passed away a couple weeks ago, and while our relationship wasn't perfect, I still feel sad inside.

Sad for a relationship that could never quite happen, sad for Alan, who also had a difficult time relating to his father, and just sad for the loss of someone I appreciated despite our differences. I don't know if he knew I appreciated him, but it's okay I guess, at least he isn't in any pain.That was deeper than I meant to go, but you get what I mean I think.

I chose that pretty box of cards because they are one of the last things I bought for myself, before we moved last year. I am not sure if I bought it for my new life, or my old one. Everything changed so profoundly this past year, that nothing is recognizable. And not just in my personal life. Politics, movies, television... everything. I sometimes feel like I have been picked up and thrown across life, only to land on my butt... hard!

 I have a great house, a fabulous husband, the best cats ever, and it all seems surreal to me. Weird. I don't know if I am causing that feeling or if I feel detached because the world really has gone off the rails. Maybe others feel the same way, or maybe it's just me. Who knows? 

All I know is I will figure it out as I go along, and while I move along I will just snap a picture each day and hope I find my inspiration again, somewhere, on the other side of the shutter. 

Mood: Who Knows


No comments: