Saturday, October 03, 2015

That's No Ghost Lady, That's A Raccoon

"Can you imagine life without the horror genre? 
There would be no monsters, only assholes."

~Michael A. Arnzen

Alan and I bought a new house. Well, it's new to us, but in reality it is 53 years old. The same age Alan and I are. And as a 53 year old it has some problems with plumbing, and waking up in the morning, and remembering. Yes, I said it, remembering. The automatic timers are a bit eccentric. We moved in on the 1st of September, and all seemed normal, then one night, a couple weeks ago, we heard it. That sound. That strange, disembodied sound of something wet... and terrible...moving around the house.


Me: Alan! Did you hear that?

Alan: Hear what?

Me: That Gloop sound.

Alan: No, honey, I don't hear a gloop... snore. SNORE!


Alan: SNORE. SNORT. I will check it tomorrow.

Well, tomorrow came and as you might guess, no gloop sound. Then three days pass without even a peep, when once again, GLOOOOOOOOP. GLOOOP. Bubble, bubble, bubble. Like a witches cauldron. Only this time it happened on a night when Alan was working the graveyard shift. Perfect! It was absolutely perfect. There was a gloop, gloop ghost, or witch, and I was home alone! So what could I do? I did the only thing I could do. I turned on every single light in the house, and 3 TV's! The ghost/witch was so frightened, it gave up and went wherever wet ghosts/witches go. 

The gloop sound came and went over the next few weeks. Sometimes in the daytime, but mostly at night. Late at night. Now, fast forward to a couple days ago, when the whole spooky situation came to a logical and embarrassing conclusion. You see, that is when we had the first visit with our professional pool person. He explained that the gloop, gloop sound was nothing more than an ill timed pump, that was on a timer, because, you see, Stockton has certain days of the week, and times of day, when you are allowed to water plants and add water to pools. 

Alan: HA HA HA. A ghost? Ha Ha Ha.

Me: I don't know, it could still be a ghost, look at what I caught on camera!
(See Above)

Pool Guy: Um, that's not a ghost lady, that's a raccoon!


Me:*?%#^^%!@&! (Censored)

Thanks A Lot Alan!

Leaf Of The Day
October 3rd, 2015

Mood: Happy

~Me :)

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