Friday, March 07, 2008

Yesterday, Today And Tomorrow

"The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test and that teaches you a lesson."

-Tom Bodett

Hi everyone. :) Before I get too far into this entry, I want to thank everyone who sent me an email, or left me their condolences. It meant a lot to me. I have made some amazing friends here in the Blogsphere, and I am thankful for all of you. I have lost folks I cared about before, some here in the land, some in the entertainment industry, some family members, but Darryl's death hit me harder then any of the others. I still miss those I have lost, and now Darryl is on the list, and somehow it just still seems so surreal. I can feel the tears welling up, even as I write this. I still just don't really understand why and how he could possibly be gone.

I was planning to comeback to blogging late last week. Well, late last week came and went, and I still wasn't ready. Then I set a goal for Monday or Tuesday, and they both came and went, and I still couldn't put into words what I wanted to say. Sigh. I was thrilled that Hillary Clinton did so well in the last round of primaries, but I couldn't blog about it. However, I have a very good friend who kept me going in emails, by asking my opinions about the primary... thank you so much Duane... that correspondence was good for me.

H.P. also came by for our usual Text Message gab fest, which was also a big part of my being able to get back up again. Both of these good friends helped me to focus a bit on something else even for just a little while. Thank you so much. H.P. doesn't blog, or I would send you his way, because he is a great guy and you would love him. Duane does blog, and if you haven't read his writing, you must not miss it. He is one of my oldest friends from my AOL days. He is a smart man, and smart writer, and truly... you should go give him a read. He best writer who you might not have discovered yet. You can find him here. Go, see for yourself!

Yesterday morning I was sure I was ready to comeback, but when I got up, and began reading emails, I saw one from my pal Don, who told me that the man who owns the property I live on, passed away last weekend. His was not a sudden death, he had been very ill with cancer and heart problems for a long, long time. I was always so sad about that, because he was a really wonderful man. He had a great sense of humor, which he always put forth even when he was facing something difficult. I liked him from the first time I met him, and was so thankful for how good he treated Alan, Elvis and myself. I will miss him so much, and yeah, I have been doing a large amount of crying in the last 24 hours, but I think later this month, I am going to plant a tree in the yard for him. I wouldn't have this place, had it not been for him.

I find myself missing voices. I talked to Darryl last Thanksgiving, and I remember our conversation, and the smile in his voice. I am thinking about my landlord, and the last time we talked. He was concerned with how I was. Here he was facing so much serious illness, and he kept asking me about me, and how I was doing. How could he have died at 60. He was such a vibrant man. It's hard to know that I have to take both these men out of my phone, sometime in the next little while, and I think it will open up whatever healing I have gotten done. I don't know, maybe I should do it pretty soon so it doesn't prolong things. Maybe I will do that later this weekend, but...sigh... I just wish they were both still there.

There is a Round Robin challenge this weekend, which I really thank God for. I want to support the Robins, so missing it really wasn't an option. I have my entry all ready and I will upload it later today, so all I have to do is visit the Robins tomorrow and enjoy their beautiful creativity. It means a lot to me that we have such wonderful photographers willing to show off their talent. If you like taking photos, and haven't joined us for a challenge, please do sometime. You don't have to be perfect, you don't have to own an uber-camera, in fact, you can scan old photos and use them in your entry. We just want your company, and to see what you see with the camera. :) Our current challenge is "A Nice Place To Sit." If you can't join us this time, maybe you will be able to sometime in the future. I hope so.

Well, that's about it for now. I am taking life really slowly, and I will have more to share about what I have been doing to take care of myself, over the next couple weeks or so. I have found some really positive outlets for my grief, but as you know, grief cannot be rushed. It just flows at it's own pace. So, what's a girl to do? Well, she keeps her friends close, she cries when she feels like it, she eats her veggies, and she does her best to get up everyday, and move forward. Life does that, it moves you forward, but it's up to us to decided the quality of it.

"Spring Life"
Union City, California
March 1st, 2008


Suzanne R said...

It's so good to see you back, Carly! I'm sorry about your landlord. As you know, you have very much been in my thoughts, and now you will be for even more reasons.

I, too, am very much looking forward to the Round Robin Photo Challenge tomorrow. It's always very interesting and fun. I have found it to be good therapy, too.


Laura said...

i have been missing you a lot. i know how grief for a loved one can sometimes do that to a person. i'm glad you have allowed yourself time to miss Darryll and to share a little bit of him with us.

Carly said...

Hi Suzanne :)

Darlin I appreciate you coming by and checking in on me more then I can say. :)

Hi Laura :)

When I read your comment I got the biggest smile on my face, your comment made me feel really good. I needed that smile... thanks darlin!

Hugs, Carly

fdtate said...

I'm glad I could be there to give you something else to think about. Hang in there, Carly. And thanks for the kind words and the link.

Martha said...

I was just reading over your recent entries trying to catch up a bit -- I am SO sorry to hear of your loss. My deepest condolences.
Love, hugs and prayers headed your way.

lisa marie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss! Losing someone is always hard and leaves me at a loss for words.

Before I read your entry I was going to lightly comment how your photo made me feel like a tiny ant. :) XO

Janet said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your BIL and your landlord. ((((Carly))))