Round John Virgin, Margarine Child

"There is always music amongst the trees in the garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it."

-Minnie Aumonier

It's that time again. It can't be escaped. Everywhere you go, there it is... Christmas music. Personally, I hate, hate, hate most Christmas songs, and avoid them like the plague, but there are some people, such as Alan, who love listening to holiday music. This has been a point of contention with us over the years, to the point that during one Christmas season, I refused to ride in his car with him, if he insisted that we listen to the Ho, Ho, Ho's or the Jolly, Jolly, Jollies. LOL.

I have mellowed in my position on this over the years, and have made the effort... for him... to find at least a few holiday songs that I can live with. You do that kind of thing for those you love. In truth, it took a bit of doing, but I did find some songs which I actually enjoy now, such as the Peanuts song, "Christmas Time Is Here." It's such a gentle little tune, how could that not put me in the holiday spirit?

My reasons for disliking this type of music are very personal ones, but I have made an effort in recent years to change how I think about things. I am much more at peace now, then I have been in a long time. I find myself enjoying the holiday season, as opposed to dreading all the festivities. I suppose some of my change came as a result of maturity, and my will to do away with unfounded fears, such as my overwhelming fear of mall Santa's. Talk about an unreasonable fear, heck, I married a former mall Santa! LOL.

One of the ways I found to beat the holiday happiness dread, was finding out that I wasn't alone when I actually heard the lyrics to Christmas songs wrong. Everyone has done that, right? Mondegreens are one of those silly things that we all share, so I thought it would be fun to share some of my favorite ones. I have collected these here and there across the net, I hope they bring you a smile. :)

Silent Night

Silent night, holy night;
All is calm, all is bright.
Round John Virgin, margarine child
Holy Imbecile, tender and mild.
Sleep in heavenly peas, peas;
Sleep in heavenly peace.

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Oh! You better watch out
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why;
Santa Claus is coming to town!

He's making a list
Of chicken and rice
Gonna find out who's naughty or nice;
Santa Claus is coming to town!

The kids in girl and boy land
Will have a jubilee.
They're going to build a toilet town
All around the Christmas tree.

Oh! You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why;
Santa Claus is coming to town.

Frosty The Snowman

Frosty the Snowman
Was a jolly happy soul
With a canecob pipe and a bloody nose
And two eyes made out of coal.

Frosty the Snowman
Is a ferret elf I say;
He was made of snow, but the children know
How he came to life one day.

The Christmas Song

Jeff's nuts roasting on an open fire
Check for snipping at your nose
You'll tide carols being sung by the fire
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey, handsome Mr. Soul
Help to make the season bright;
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

Good King Wencesias

Good King Wences's car back out
On the feet of heathens.
When the snow lay round about.
Deep and crisp and even.

Brightly shone the moon that night
Though the frost was cruel,
When poor man came in sight
Gathering wine and gruel.

Good king wants his applesauce
At the feast this evening.
When the snow lay round about,
Deep and crisp and even.

Have A Holly Jolly Christmas

Have a holly, jolly Christmas
It's the best time of the year
Well, I don't know if there'll be snow,
But have a cup of cheese.

Tee Hee. There you have it. Do you have a favorite Mondegreen? How about a special holiday Mondegreen? If so, feel free to share it in the comment thread for this entry, but remember, Ellipsis is a PG-13 blog... so be nice. :)

-OndineMonet
"Holiday Music"
Berkeley, California
November 24, 2007
Evening