Here A Host, There A Host, Everywhere A Host Host

"If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change."

-John A Simone Sr.

Once Upon A Time...

was on The View.

One day...


Had a fight with .

Suddenly, stormed away in a fit of... well... a fit.

And then there were 3.

Meanwhile...

was naughty. "45 days in the Hoosegow," said the judge.

"It's not fair", said . Sniff, sniff.

And...

ate onion rings for the last time.

The Nation became infuriated... "Grrrr."

"I feel like I have wasted the last 10 years of my life!" said one angry fan.

And if all that wasn't melodramatic enough...

retires after 600 years of hosting The Price Is Right!

"Oh no," said the world.

"Who, could EVER replace?


"How about "said.

" ?" said the world in a gasp!

But wait...Who would replace on The View?

"How about ," said a caller to .

"Yes" said Barbara
"No" said Bill Gedde
"Yes" said Barbara
"No" said Bill Gedde

"I know!" said . How about...

replaces
replaces
replaces

And a new and improved gets her own reality show, "Paris Does The DMV."

All kidding aside, I could see Rosie O' Donnell hosting The Price is Right. Rosie O' Donnell is a lot of things, but mostly she is generous. She really does enjoy seeing folks happy. I think she would be a fine choice. Besides there aren't many female game show hosts, right now. I have always wondered why there haven't been, because look how good Meredith Vieira has been on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

As for Paris Hilton. Enough already. It's pretty damn easy to kick a person when they are down... isn't it? Here is the straight deal on the matter. She is indeed doing more time for that probation violation then most folks do. She is being treated differently because she is a celebrity. Shes being punished way more severe then the average person. It's the truth whether it wants to be admitted or not. I live in California, and I know this to be true. So, if her sentence for drunk driving didn't seem like enough initially, then stop whining about how unfair it is that a girl, who comes from an advantaged life is given probation, and put pressure on your political representatives to make tougher laws for drunk drivers, and demand those laws be enforced. It's my hope when she gets out of jail, folks will stop throwing those self-righteous stones her way. Remember... if you expect someone to fail, they probably won't let you down.

So tell me, what do you think about Rosie O' Donnell hosting "The Price Is Right?"

-OndineMonet