"When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence."
~Ansel Adams
2586 seconds. Going all the way back to 2005. Those seconds actually became more minutes than I can count, if you factor in editing, and posting, and searching for the exact quote to fit with the picture, that set the mood for my postings here on Ellipsis. I kept that Flickr account for folks who would rather look than read. I understood that preference. Sometimes I didn't really want my blog words to overshadow the point of my photography. And sometimes I just didn't have the words. Sometimes it's the photo that needs to be what make the point, and if you've truly captured a moment that can yell louder than words, then you've accomplished something as a photographer... well... at least as... "a would be, hopeful, semi-professional photographer."
That quote was from The Stepford Wives. It was the character of, Joanna Eberhart, explaining to the local welcome lady, who also had her own column in the local paper, where newcomers to the village were introduced to the community, that that was who she was as a person. But even after that quote was given to the columnist, Joanna was still described in the paper as a... "newcomer to Stepford, and very active shutterbug." When I watched that scene, I realized that Joanna and I both shared the same dream, the dream to be remembered one day, through our photography. But as it turned out for Joanna, that would never happen. I don't want to give away what her husband had in mind when he moved them to Stepford, in case you are one of the 4 people who doesn't know the story, but here is a hint, Walter Eberhart, like the rest of the men of Stepford, suffered from deadly case of chauvinism. Deadly for Joanna, that is!
I have never known a minute, or second of that. For most of the 2586 seconds that it took to create those photographs, Alan was right by my side. He was the one who put the camera in my hand, and drove me anywhere I wanted to go, just so I could create something, anything, that would replace the debilitating psychological pain I was in. I went through one of those life changing events, that some folks don't come back from. At one point I had sunk so far into despair, that I ended up with Anhedonia, and it was at that point, he encouraged me to step outside myself, and into the seconds that go by. And, as it turned out, it was all those seconds adding up, that gave me my heart and mind back. It was hard as HELL to find something to care about, but we took it slow, and after a while I began a blog on AOL Journals where I could put words and pictures together, and within a year or two, I was well on my way to healing.
After AOL Journals folded up, I migrated over here to Blogger, along with several of my AOL friends, and also to Flickr to display my photos. I am still in contact with several of them, but we lost my friend Steven, back in 2009. I loved him, and he was an amazing friend and mentor when it came to my photography. I wouldn't be nearly as good today, had it not been for his encouragement and help when it came to some of the technical aspects of taking a decent photograph. I miss his friendship, and I think about him often. He was an amazing photographer, and he had a gentle soul. He and Alan both guided me along with the healing that needed to happen. Alan in real life, and Steven in my Internet life. So, unlike Joanna Eberhart, it wasn't the men in my life that held me back, instead it was the men in my life that helped me flourish as a photographer, and as a person!
But back to why I have that picture posted. It seems that the free Flickr accounts will only be able to display 1,000 photos, beginning on January 9th. That meant I needed to download my my collections or risk losing them. So I have been a bit busy the last few days, and I will continue to be busy for the next several weeks as I bring them over to Google Photos and arrange them in some sort of album groupings that make sense. And yes, one day the bottom will fall out of that as well, but you see, "I am a very active shutterbug" and therefore it's just something I have to deal with. It's tough being a "would be, hopeful, semi-professional photographer." But when all those seconds add up, its more than worth it!
~Mood: Happy/Thankful
~Me :)
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