Ellipsis: The Day You Wake Up To

Monday, January 05, 2015

The Day You Wake Up To

"Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!

There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.

And magical things you can do with that ball

Will make you the winning-est winner of all.

Fame!

You'll be as famous as famous can be,

with the whole wide world watching you on TV.

Except when they don't,

Because sometimes they won't.

I am afraid that sometimes

You'll play lonely games too.

Games you can't win

'cause you'll play against you."

~Dr. Seuss

Oh The Places You'll Go!

I love the first Monday after a long holiday weekend. I love that the TV schedules get back to normal, I love that the news and political sites are, once again, covering the latest developments, and I love that the everything seems fresh and new. I suppose the first Monday after the New Year's holiday has that feeling like no other time. I was finished with 2015, at the end of the day Robin Williams died. I remember falling into bed, exhausted from grief, and thinking that I was done! The year couldn't possibly be salvaged. And if it could, if anyone had a special formula, I didn't need to know about it! My mind was throughouly made up! Don't even bring it up! But, a couple months later, I found myself on vacation, and spending a lot of time with Alan, and little by little, I eased back into the reality of the year, and where I was in it. I was still grieving, and one or two more losses took place after his death, but I was back to laughing, and exploring with the camera, putting my feet forward. And as I did. I came up with some good photographs, stuff I am proud of. I just did it. I learned to live with all the pain of the year. From the suicide of a friend, to Robin's death, to the drama with GM and the car recalls, to whatever stupid thing hurt me. I dealt with it through my photography, with the season of autumn's help.

Today, I am waking up to a much different day than Real Housewives Of New Jersey star, Teresa Giudice, will. She was sentenced last October to 15 months in prison, her husband 41 months for various crimes of fraud, dating back nearly 15 years, which is pretty much their entire marriage. By most accounts, Teresa has been in denile about the time she will serve, so as she begins her journey today, I can only imagine the pain she must be in as she says goodbye to her home, parents and brother, her community, her businesses, her standing, her name, but saddest of all, her four daughters. Four girls, all under 16, will have to suffer the loss of their mom, at an age when a daughter most needs their mother. Now, 15 months isn't forever, but without coping skills, it is more than forever. Those days when the only one who could possibly understand how a girl feels, is the mom, and mom isn't there. Life doesn't get harder than that. Not when you are a little girl.

I suppose Teresa will be feeling a bit like a little girl herself today. She won't have anyone but herself to lean on. She will be scared... I would be. Wouldn't you? She will be grieving her life... I would be. Wouldn't you? She will make missteps... I know I would. She will want nothing more than anything to go back in time and change the mistakes she made. She will just want to go back... to just get it right. To not trust the wrong people. To not want more than she could realistically have. To just not take the road she took that lead her where she is. When the lights go off tonight, she will be grieving. Deeply. A situation of her own making? Yes. To be sure! But the pain she is about to feel, well, that will drive home the fault, and she is now on her way to paying back those who have been wronged. Will it be enough? God, I hope so. I hope she comes out with all kinds of strength, so she never ends up down the rabbit hole again! Not only for her, but for those four girls.

I would love to see her come out of this situaiton with courage. New found courage that doesn't involve turing over tables, or living outside her means. I want to see Teresa Giudice come out of this fierce! I want to see her write a "How To" guide to prison, or maybe a prison cookbook of her own. I want to see her find her sense of humor about herself, rather than lifting herself up by the concentrating on the fall of others. I want to see her SHINE. I want her to see the beauty, like on a walk around Half Moon Bay. She missed the natural beauty of the town when she visited their a few years ago. She missed it because she was too busy dealing with the pain in her life. The things that scared her, such as the failing relationship with her husband Joe. Truth is, that relationship probably truly began to crumble right before she became famous. Fame... there's that word. Fame. Sigh. Now there is some talk that Teresa and Joe's daughter is shooting a pilot for her own "reality" show. I don't know why. Maybe to help out. Maybe to understand the world of reality TV better. Maybe to establish her own fame. If it is the last one, I have to say, God, I hope not. Teresa has a real chance to come out of this situation a smarter, more empathetic, more realistic person. I hope she will, and I hope people will let her, because isn't that the best thing for not only her victims, her family, her community and herself? And isn't that the point?

Fame... No Thank You.

Today, Teresa will wake up in a different world than she will go to sleep in, but by the same token, at the end of the journey, the process will swing back the other way. It's what we do with the hours in between.

The sun rises and sets on us all.